


The First Star

by ChaosInSun



Series: Written in the Stars [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Gen, Remadora
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-06
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:14:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 20
Words: 147,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27417103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChaosInSun/pseuds/ChaosInSun
Summary: The Dark Lord's back, and the Order of the Pheonix is reunited to fight back. Now with the new Headquarters, and some interesting new members, better and improved. Life always takes most unusual paths, but what when a few of them cross at the same time, at the same place? This part focuses on the events that happened in the lives of Nymphadora Tonks, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, and Gwendolyn Doherty during Harry's fifth year at Hogwarts.
Relationships: Remus Lupin/Nymphadora Tonks
Series: Written in the Stars [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2105676
Comments: 52
Kudos: 20





	1. Prologue

**Prologue**

It was the first evening of one cold December. The Hogsmeade's streets were as empty as they could be. The snow was falling aggressively, but it still wasn't a blizzard. It was almost midnight and it seemed like this all-wizard village was fast asleep. The only thing moving, except the snow, was smoke coming out of chimneys. If the street lights were turned off, Hogsmeade would look kind of abandoned. Or too quiet. Truth be told, the street lights were the only lights that were on. All of the houses and shops were in the dark. All except one.

One of the last houses in the village was one-story cottage with a glimpse of light coming out from the small roof window. The snow was covering the window with a thin layer and it was becoming thicker and thicker with every second so the light was dimmed. This cottage never looked like a family home, rather as a holiday house for someone who was overworked. But in the last few months, it became home to one bright, quite young witch.

Gwendolyn Doherty stood in the attic where her bedroom was placed. Her thoughts were buzzing through her head so fast that they were almost soundable. Her long, curly dark red hair was tied in an uneven bun with small strains falling freely around her oval-shaped face. It was obvious that her hair was tied in a hurry as if it was in a way. Her emerald green eyes were wide open and staring in the direction of her bed. She was holding an ordinary black mug in her shaking hands. Oh, how she wanted to drink some warm tea or cocoa and just go straight to bed. She didn't have any shoes on, and her clothes were messy. The dark jeans she was wearing were muddy and navy blue sweater was ripped on sleeves. She walked backwards until she fell into a black leather armchair. Her eyes not even for a second fell from her bed.

„What have I done?“ she asked herself, taking a sip from her mug.

She never planned to make calming draught today, not the one this strong and potent anyway. She just went for a walk as the sun began to set on the first day of December. Her thoughts about all the books she wanted to buy made her oblivious, so she wandered into the nearby forest. When she realized it, she decided she should harvest some plants for her potions and experiments. Nothing she's never done before. On the contrary, she did that quite often, minus the wandering part. Just as she finished gathering the ingredients, she saw something that changed the path of her evening plans.

Calming draught in one hand, her wand within her arm's reach, and her eyes still fixed on the bed. Not in fear, but in utmost interest. She put the mug next to her wand on the coffee table and stood up. One deep breath, two deep breaths... She started to walk towards her bed. The closer she got, the louder were the sound of someone else's shaky breaths. Gwendolyn's curiosity was taking full control over her sharp mind and lean body. Her eyes were lowering on a man who was lying in her bed.

She watched the dark curls spreading over her pillow. Then her eyes scanned the rest of the man's body. His eyes were shut and his mouth slightly open. He was thin as if he hadn't had a proper meal in days, maybe weeks, even months. Still, his face lines were so perfect he was still quite handsome. Her eyes flew over his naked torso which was half-covered with a warm, fuzzy blanket. She watched the runes tattoos on his chest, translating them in her head, and comprehending their meaning, as his chest was slowly moving in the rhythm of his breaths.

„Oh, what have I done?“ she asked herself one more time, crossing her arms on her chest, letting out one sound breath. At that very moment, the man stirred. Gwendolyn gasped as she took one step back, her eyes locked on the closed eyes of her visitor. That lasted for about three seconds. Her sparkly green eyes were now looking straight into another pair of eyes; gray and fathomless. He looked terrified, even more than her. His breathing was quicker now.

“Who… How…” he muttered as he tried to get himself up on his elbows, still lying on his back. „Where the...“

But he neither finished the sentence nor got himself up when Gwendolyn's wand flew across the room into her, now open, fist. In a second she put it over her mouth, trying to look confident and somewhat scary.

„Shhh!“ she exclaimed. „Don't even try to get up! You have a couple of broken ribs,“ her voice was soft. The man managed to put himself in a position so he could look at her. His look was not only terrified but surprised. Even if he wanted to, he couldn't speak. He just stared at the woman who was on the verge to point her wand at him. Or so did he thought.

„I know who you are, even in your animagus form now,“ she said determined, „I know who you are, and by the fact that you are not in Azkaban by now, or that I'm not a dementor you can guess I don't want to do you any harm. I could've left you to die, or called the aurors, or...“ she gasped as she was talking fast, „Instead you are mended and in my bed. And for the record, I have a chamber with some rusty shackles under this house.“

The man stirred under the blanket. He grabbed the bedsheets as if they were going to tell him the world's secrets, or just make him disappear. There was no point in denying who he was. His name was notorious, just like his black curls and tattooed torso.

„Sirius Black, nice to meet you,“ he said and he cleared his throat, „And thanks for not putting me into those shackles. Really don't like them.“ His lips turned into a really small, almost invisible, grin. Gwendolyn was standing still, looking at him kind of dazed. „Is he really joking?“ she thought but she stayed quiet like she didn't know exactly what to say.

„I assume you are connected with...“ Sirius started the sentence but choose not to finish it. He can't just flap his mouth around, can he? He was relieved when she interrupted him.

„No. I don't know who you are thinking about, but my answer is no. I'm not associated with anyone or anything.“ She said boldly like she wanted to sound independent and capable. She indeed was, even though she may not always seem like it.

„Listen to me now,“ she continued without giving him the chance to speak, „I don't plan to turn you in, as much as 10 000 galleons sound tempting. But there is something I want in return – don't lie to me, Sirius Black. You talk and answer honestly to me,“ her voice tone surprised even her. To be honest, the words surprised her even more. „Very well then, now when we got that clear, you can ask me five questions. After that, you will be the one talking. Understood?“ she was still staring into his gray, terrified eyes. Sirius nodded. It's not like he has a choice. He could listen to this woman or try, and most likely fail, to escape this... wherever he was. But the sheets felt so good on his skin. He hadn't felt like this since Hogwarts. He didn't want to leave the bed or the sheets.

„Who are you? Where are we? How did I get here? Did you tell anyone I'm here?“ he asked in one breath. Those were four out of five questions. He decided he must save one or two for later, just in case.

„You can call me Gwen, and we are at my house in Hogsmeade. I found you half dead in the woods. I guess the mountain trolls? You see, I thought you were a stray dog so I decided to try to help you,“ her voice was firm like she was interrogated at the Ministry of Magic. „Imagine my surprise when you turned into... well, you.“

Sirius smiled when she finished the sentence. He found her need to joke quite appealing. But she was still serious with one of the best poker faces he has ever seen. She reminded him of his cousin Narcissa, who could do the same thing.

„Nobody knows you are here. You can go if you want to, I won't be stopping you,“ for the first time since Sirius woke, she broke their eye contact. She was now looking at her wand in her hands before she threw it on the bed. Sirius was surprised by this move because her wand was in his reach now as if she had done it on purpose. He couldn't help but wonder...

„I don't need it anyway. I have no intention of killing you or something like that. If I wanted to do that, I would have done it already. Still could, even without a wand,“ she said confidently.

She left Sirius speechless, and that was accomplishment even though she wasn't aware of it. He tried to get up but his ribs started to hurt so badly. He groaned and shut his eyes in pain. In a second he felt a soft, warm hand on his back. He opened his eyes and saw Gwen helping him, managing the pillows, so he would be comfortable. Well, at least as comfortable as a man with four broken ribs can be. When she was sure he is fine, she slowly sat on the side of the bed, right next to his legs. It wasn't until that moment Sirius realized he was butt-naked under a purple blanket. Gwen handed him a cup that was standing on a nightstand next to lit candles.

„Drink this,“ she said calmly. He took the cup, but his eyes were too suspicious.

„It's for your ribs. I concocted it, and can assure you there is nothing wrong with it. It's perfect, I might have out done myself“ she said, feeling somewhat offended. If she wanted him dead, he would be dead and they both knew that's the truth. Finally, Sirius took a sip from the cup. Now he was sure Gwen was really not lying; he knew the taste of this potion too well. She took the cup from his hands and put it where it was before.

„Why did you save me?“ Sirius asked his fifth and final question, trying to find her look. In another second, their eyes met again as she took one deep breath.

„Well... They say curiosity killed the cat. I'm very curious about what were you doing in Hogsmeade, and what are you planning to do. I hardly doubt you had Honeydukes sugar craving that bad...“ she said and for the first time, smiled.

„I'm here to keep an eye on my godson,“ he said firmly.

„Harry Potter. Of course... Well, you weren't doing a good job.“

Sirius was stunned. Not many people knew he was Harry's godson, and he thought that's for the best. But here was a woman who knew that, and was judging his actions... or his attempt to protect Harry. How did she, a woman he has no memory of, knew that? He just stared at her, unable to produce one right sentence.

„Well, I happen to be pro-Potter,“ she almost burst into laughter right after putting her fist in the air in a cheery way. As they eyes met again they both laughed, even though it didn't last long. Sirius quickly regretted that decision as the sharp pain cruised through his body.

„Sorry,“ Gwen apologised, „So... you haven't betrayed his family? You were innocent and still were thrown in Azkaban?“

Sirius expected this question and was not surprised by it. He looked at her having too many questions in his own mind but he had to stay focused.

„No, I haven't. But I did something and it led to all of that... Well, pardon my words, but it really turned into a shit show. It never was my intention, though. It never crossed my mind it would turn out that way“

„I see... and the muggles?“

„Nope. The same person who betrayed James and Lily did that too.“

„Peter Pettigrew,“ Gwendolyn whispered as it was a question, but she already knew the answer. After all, the story about Sirius, Peter, and those muggles became a legend. Sirius was now confused, surprised, and stunned. He couldn't find the logical answer in his head to all his questions and more importantly, who this woman was and how in the hell she knew everything? He felt like she is testing him and then again, haven't seen the point in hiding the truth.

„Well, yes,“ he answered shortly.

„Had to ask,“ she justified herself, even though justification wasn't really necessary. „You think Harry Potter is in danger? I saw him with the Horntail. I was like wow, that boy really is something, and can fly that broom! It was mental, nothing I would ever think of,“ Gwen tried to light up their conversation, not entirely sure why. Sirius chuckled as he felt so proud of Harry. Even more because the broom was a gift from him.

„Even though Harry is fully capable of surviving on his own, I wanted to be closer to him. I just went hunting some...“ and then he remembered everything. Him hunting, and mountain troll catching him. He remembered Buckbeak, and asked himself can a hippogriff get worried. Gwen was looking at him rather curiously.

„What?“

„Well... you see, I'm not traveling alone. There is a hippogriff...“

Gwen's eyes widened as she interrupted him. „Are you serious now?“

„I'm always Sirius,“ he couldn't help himself using one of his oldest puns, „And the hippogriff is Buckbeak.“

Gwen was now staring at him in disbelief and said reluctantly „All right... I'll take care of that.“

„You really don't have to. I think he is capable of surviving by himself just like Harry, but I don't want him to think I abandoned him. Grew quite fond of him. He is a fugitive too...“ Sirius didn't want to involve this woman, no matter all the help, in anything more than she already was.

„Oh, and I guess you plan on going to see him?“ Gwen asked mockingly. „I'm not a miracle maker. Your ribs have to heal, and I won't let the poor creature die,“ she said surprised by him. „I assume you didn't escape Azkaban on the beast. How did you do that?“

„Well... You seem quite smart, and still haven't managed to figure I was a human, not a dog. You see, dementors can't sense animals,“ he said, not wanting to say too much.

„I see... Well, then I guess you are not registered with the Ministry as an animagus,“ she said and stood up. She walked through the bedroom door, leaving it slightly open. 

Sirius could hear her footsteps. She was going downstairs and left him petrified in the bed. He couldn't believe what was happening at that very moment. He heard glass and utensils clunking, not sure what to expect. After a minute or so, Gwen was back with another cup but she wasn't carrying it as her hands were crossed on her chest. The cup was levitating in front of her and with a swift move of her left hand, she directed it right into Sirius' hands. He took it and looked at her confused.

„For sleeping. I assume you won't be sleeping easily without it,“ she said feeling quite disappointed by his confusion.

He was still looking at the cup wondering. He couldn't get it straight. Why? How come she trusts him? Or does she? As if Gwen was reading his mind, he heard her talk.

„It's funny. I saved your life, incriminated myself because of it, gave you a chance to tell me the truth, trust you that you are not mad and murderous, and yet, you still doubt me,“ she couldn't hide that she was offended by his behaviour.

„No, don't get me wrong. All those things... thank you,“ he said and stopped before he made it even worse. He took a sip from the cup and saw Gwen's wand flowing to her, now outstretched, left hand. She quickly put it away as he put away the cup.

„I'll be sleeping downstairs,“ she said. „If you need me, just touch the raven on the cup,“ she was now pointing at the cup on the nightstand. „You are free to leave if you'd like, as I said. But I think that would be rather stupid and not wise.“

Sirius felt ashamed for a second. She was right. Without her help, whatever her motives were, he would probably be dead. But he wasn't, and that meant he could still protect Harry which was far more important than anything else. That was all that mattered.

„Who are you, woman, and who sent you?“ he asked but wasn't really expecting to hear an answer. At least not a real one. She smiled and turned to the bedroom door. Her hand was on the knob as she turned to him.

„I said five questions,“ she smiled lightly. At that moment Sirius couldn't help but notice that she was really pretty, almost unbelievable how much. She looked like one of those muggles porcelain dolls. Gleaming emerald green eyes and dark burgundy hair made her hard not to notice.

„I owe you one, Gwen...“ he said, trying to trick her into telling him his last name. He wondered if she was one of the pureblood maniacs.

She smiled. Of course, she saw right through his pathetic attempt but she chose to play his game. „Doherty. And I guess you do, Sirius Black,“ she said and closed the door behind her.

Sirius drank the rest of the potion and laid down. He was staring at the roof beams above him, still trying to make sense out of all that happened. The sleeping draught kicked in and his eyelids started to fall. He couldn't resist sleep anymore. He couldn't even remember the last time he was this comfortable, even with broken ribs. In seconds, Sirius Black was fast asleep again.

* * *

_So here it is, the prologue. Next few chapters will be focused on the characters I will be using in this story. Don't forget to let me know what you think._


	2. March 1995

_13 th of March 1995_

Department of Magical Enforcement was placed on Level 2 in the Ministry of Magic. Inside of it was Ministry’s Auror Headquarters, led by Rufus Scrimgeour. The Aurors were highly trained and skilled witches and wizards with the main goal of catching dangerous ones and sending them straight to Azkaban. All of them, well most of them, were serious, blended and usual people. Of course, Mad-Eye Moody was one of those who was always standing out. And so did his latest protégé, Nymphadora Tonks.

It was grey Monday morning and Tonks was sitting in her cubicle looking into some old reports. She quickly became bored with them. Her hair was pink with blue tips and shoulder length for the day, and she matched her outfit with it. Actually, she was feeling kind of blue. Since Sirius Black broke out the Azkaban the main goal for the entire Auror Office was to capture him again. And that proved to be not so easily managed. Tonks already knew everything about Sirius Black; his life, crimes, arrest and Azkaban. Only thing that no one, including her, didn't know was how the hell did he escape the Dementors. The investigation was quite dull, to be honest. All the leads weren't leads at all because they still didn't have any proof that Black was... well, anywhere. And Tonks knew she won't find the answer in some dull reports.

She suddenly jumped from her chair, having enough of reading. Most of her colleagues grew to ignore her sudden movements and clumsiness. Tonks was one of a kind, the most unusual Auror that ever set foot in that office. She was quite young and still managed to get through whole three years of training and not even her clumsiness stopped from getting her place there. Plus, her mentor was Alastor Moody, and they all knew how Moody can get... well, demanding. But Tonks liked Moody and liked working with him. He was different, just like her. And he was the best of the best.

Her cubicle was one of the closest to the doors. It was a place for rookies, juniors or whatever senior Aurors called those who were just accepted into the Office. She didn't mind at the beginning but now she was there for a half of the year and started to feel left out. She started marching towards Kingsley Shacklebolt's cubicle which was the furthest from her own. There were a few senior Aurors who were always in a good mood and helpful to the juniors and Kingsley was surely one of them. Tonks hoped that Kingsley had some new information or basically anything that isn't written in those old reports, something to work with. Her clunky combat boots made her trip a few times, and in those moments she figured how everyone was watching her with the corners of their eyes. Tonks decided to ignore that as she approached Kingsley's cubicle.

„Wotcher, Kingsley,“ she said brightly with the biggest smile she could manage at the time.

„Good Morning, Tonks,“ Kingsley lifted his head from the report he was writing. „I like your hair, it's a bit less vibrant than usual though. Is everything alright?“

„Oh, thank you and everything is fine,“ she said but quickly changed her mind. She can use that in her own advantage. „Well, I'm quite bored with those Sirius Black reports.“

„Is that so?“ Kingsley put aside his writing quill and lounged himself in his chair. He was only Auror who had an extra chair in his cubicle because it was the last one and had more space. „Sit, please. You know that I don't like talking to people like that,“ he said and made a gesture with his hand, inviting her to sit. Tonks smiled and sat down. As soon as she's done that, she started fidgeting with her sleeves.

„Well, I've read all those files a million times. It's not like something new will come up in them,“ she said, shyly looking at Kingsley. She didn't want to seem frivolous, but she really didn't want to read those files either. „Don't get me wrong, I like the job and everything but...“

„I get it. Long investigations can get boring but you must not loose your focus. It's imperative for us to catch that man,“ Kingsley interrupted her and tried to console her. „You are only here for like, what, six months? Auror job is not only catching bad guys, and I think you know that more than anyone here given how involved Moody was with your training.“

„Constant vigilance,“ Tonks smiled and did some funny hand movement which Kingsley didn't understand, but he chuckled. He had great respect for Alastor Moody, and he knew if that man chose this girl to be her protege, she must really be something. „But it's boring! It's been two weeks since I was on the field and I want some action done!“

„Don't be so eager to get in action. Action means facing dangerous people. You are trained to do that, but you also have to learn how to follow trails, stories... For instance,“ he pulled one of the reports and handed it to Tonks. It was the most famous picture of Sirius Black, his mugshot, and a report about his arrest. Tonks used to flinch when she saw that mugshot, but working in the Auror Office apparently considered watching that stupid photo everyday since the space was full with copies. „What do you know about this?“

„Well, Black killed that Pettigrew bloke and those muggles. Aurors came and stunned him while he laughed like a maniac, in what? Pool of blood?“ She knew the story, but she noticed something before in it. She didn't bother to share it with anyone since she found it irrelevant, but maybe Kingsley was pointing at that. „Although...“

„Yes?“ Kingsley's eyebrow raised curiously.

„Well... When Aurors came at the crime scene, Black was already laughing and mental, right? You see, my dad is a muggle-born and muggles study psychology a bit different than us. By their teaching, it would mean that Black was incompetent to manage his doings, or to defend himself,“ she stopped only to notice Kingsley's curiosity rising. Tonks instantly felt pumped. Kingsley was interested in what she had to say, and that was meaningful to her since she really valued his opinion, and appreciated him as a colleague. „And if you look at this photo, you can see Black's wand away from the spot where he was arrested,“ she pointed Sirius' wand on the photo, showing it to Kingsley.

„Right. And what do you think why is that?“ he asked.

„Maybe he wasn't resisting arrest at all...“ Tonks sighed. She never thought about that. But it wasn't unusual for her, as she would often come to conclusions only when talking her thoughts out loud. „As I said, he was manic. Why would he surrender like that if he was powerful enough to kill thirteen people with one curse? It doesn't add up.“

Kingsley watched her with a hint of impression in his eyes. Then he clapped his hands once and smiled at her, removing the report from her hands.

„You see, Tonks, I was thinking the same thing. Why would he do that? If Black really was You-Know-Who's fanatic, he would at least do something before being stunned by Aurors, don't you think?“ He asked, but wasn't really expect her to answer. „And my former mentor was there, one of his last days on the field. He told me that it was a scene almost as gruesome as the one in the Godric's Hollow. Black is vicious and hot-headed, but he isn't a fool. Neither was James Potter,“ he turned to his desk again on his chair, and put the reports in the drawer. Tonks didn't know what to say, so she started to fidget her sleeves again. Kingsley stood up and put his traveling robe on.

„If your only job today was rereading those reports, you can come with me,“ he said while fastening his robes.

„Oh...“ Tonks jumped. „Sure, let me get my robes.“ She was now directed to her own cubicle, almost running. She thought that there is finally something to do beside dull desk work. While putting her robes on, she knocked down some writing equipment from her desk. She sighed, and lifted it annoyed when she saw Kingsley waiting for her.

„Ready?“ he asked, suppressing his laughter.

„Yes!“ Tonks said enthusiastically, and joined Kingsley's side.

As they were waiting for the elevator they met Scrimgeour who was usually nosy and asked where they were going. Kingsley did the talking since he was superior to her, and he got rid of Scrimgeour quite quickly. They arrived into the atrium which was full with wizards and witches, loud and crowded. They used the floo network to get to Diagon Alley, but Kingsley still hasn't said what were they up to.

„So, you think something doesn't add up about him being arrested?“ Kingsley asked, looking a head of them. Diagon Alley wasn't so crowded, but Tonks could barely hear him.

„I mean, yes. Off the record, I know all the Blacks are mental and please, let's not talk about the detail because I know you know about my mother, the third Black sister,“ Tonks was a bit embarrassed. Not of her mother, of course, she loved her and was so proud that she managed to escape the pure blood lunacy her family nurtured. She knew that her connection to the Black family has been quite the topic when she began working. She felt tainted because of someone else's doing, in this case by her mother's whole family.

„That's fair. Go on,“ he said calmly.

„And we know how devoted my aunt and her husband were. I mean, if they were like that, Black would never go in peace, right? You knew him?“

„Well, I thought I did. I met him and his three best friends briefly during the first war; Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew and James Potter. And you're right. Something doesn't add up and I eliminated Lupin from that equation because he was away when all that happened.“

Tonks knew all those names. Her mother used to talk about Sirius before his arrest. They were quite close, both rebels in the eyes of the family. She talked about how he used to crash at their house and how he had his little gang; the Marauders they called themselves. She remembered one picture Sirius sent from Hogwarts with all of them in hideous Christmas jumpers. Lupin was the one with scarred face.

„You think that maybe there is something more about Peter Pettigrew,“ Tonks said, not even questioning. Kingsley looked at her surprised.

„I do. But let's keep that between us. With those rumours about Black being in Tibet, the focus should be on that,“ Kingsley turned into the Knockturn Alley and Tonks followed.

„To be honest, I don't think he's there,“ Tonks blurted. She didn't really want to say that. Well, not in that words anyway. Kingsley stopped and turn to her.

„Oh? And why is that?“ he asked raising his brow.

„Well, if you think about it... He managed to get from the Azkaban. That means he knows how to become and stay undetected. Why would he go to Tibet when he can hide himself somewhere here and, I don't know, wait for better days? And, as we agreed, he wasn't resisting arrest, so we don't really know that he can overpower an Auror,“ she said nervously but managed to keep looking into Kingsley's eyes.

„I understand your train of thought, but as leading Auror for that investigation I advise you to work on the Tibet theory. Until we get some new proof... If you come with some other conclusion, please, come and see me. Got it?“ He was no longer relaxed like before. His authority was undeniable, and Tonks could only agree with him. Kingsley broke the tension he made by high-fiving Tonks right after she did that.

They then went to talk with some informants, basic work. No one heard anything about Black, except Mundungus Fletcher selling some heirlooms he swore was from ancient families including the Blacks. Tonks was still impressed with her talk with Kingsley. He was someone with whom she really liked working, and she liked that he was listening to her ideas. She could never do that with other colleagues since they treated her like a kid, and she was then desperate to prove herself only managing to make things worse.

She was fine working with Savage and Proudfoot, and even Audrey McNamara and Mary Pickett. Audrey and Mary were older than Tonks, but they were friendly to her inviting her for drinks after work. She even celebrated New Year's Eve with them. Couple of wizards from work asked her out, but Tonks wasn't really in a mood for dating or anything like that. She felt exhausted with talking about work all the time, and all those guys knew was just about that. She found Moody and Kingsley to be the most interesting people at work, but of course not in that way. Casual dating proved to be not worth the fuss. And Tonks wasn't really a relationship kind of girl, wasn't she? She was scared to admit, but she never had a real relationship. She had that thing with Charlie Weasley, but it wasn't serious and they both agreed on that, just physical.

Kingsley and Tonks returned to the Ministry and Kingsley went back to do his reports. He once again told Tonks to focus on the official investigation, at least while at work. She was so eager to know more about Black's friends now, so she decided she will definitely ask her mother about them. As the working day was over, she apparated in front of her building. She rented a flat near the Ministry because she couldn't stand her mother's mothering any more. And she was independent, capable Auror now! She must learn how to make a meal or two.

Tonks entered her apartment, knocking the boots of her feet. She pulled down her robes and thrown them on the floor. She fell head down on the couch and sighed loudly. Because of her field work with Kingsley, she was a bit behind on her „homework“ as Scrimgeour called it. He gave junior Aurors random assignments about reports they were supposed to read and Tonks absolutely hated it. Moody too, so he sometimes did hers in the protest because he found that stupid and not really necessary. But Moody was now teaching at Hogwarts, so he couldn't really help her. She wiggled herself from the couch, and decided to make some large coffee, and get her work done. Her flat was a studio one, but she divided the space where the bed was placed with some thick curtains which were drawn to sides now. Furniture was in the shades of dark wood and yellow. It wasn't much, a small kitchen had a small kitchen island she mostly used for eating. She didn't have a desk, so she did all her work on the dining table which was placed by the window. It was so gloomy outside that she just wanted to go to sleep, but the work doesn't wait. She made herself a coffee, and started doing the paperworks, hair morphing in deep blue.

* * *

It was a full week since Sirius met Harry on the outskirts of Hogsmeade and his worries about his godson only grew stronger. Not because of him or getting caught, but because he felt he couldn't do anything to protect Harry. He would mostly pace around the cave in his dog form because it made him think less. He didn't mind being outside all the time. After Azkaban, every hole in the world is a five star hotel.

He tried to hunt down some wild rabbits and mostly succeded, but Buckbeak wasn't so impressed with rabbit meat, so Sirius would chase ferrets too. He found quite secret spot in the woods where he could have a bath, so the flies wouldn't jump on him so much. So confident in his disguise, Sirius would happily roam the streets of Hogsmeade, trying to provide some extra meal. He was happy to get some food from Hogwarts, almost forgetting how tasty it was. In the most desperate of times, he would go around the last houses in the village, hoping to meet Gwen because he was sure she would help him. But, he had no luck there because he hasn't seen her since he left her house in the middle of December.

At least he wasn't alone. Buckbeak became his first companion since they both were running from the law. Sirius was amused about the stories about him all around the world, even though he still wasn't sure why those stories even existed. Even after twelve years in Azkaban, Sirius was still missing someone to talk to. He never got used to constant silence. Before, when everything was right, he had James. They were always in contact and that hasn't changed even with James and Lily's marriage or the birth of Harry.

After all that happened last year, he felt guilty even more when he saw how easily Remus Lupin threw aside all the accusations, all the stories, everything that pointed at him as a traitor. He was resenting himself ever doubting Remus, thinking how everything would be different if they, perhaps, made Remus a secret keeper. After all the thinking he had in Azkaban, he figured that Remus would, as he would too, died before betraying James and Lily. And that wound kept hurting more and more.

When not pacing in the cave, Sirius would just sit on the stones by the entrance and watch the sky or trees, enjoying fresh air without the smell of rotten which Dementors spread through the corridors of Azkaban. He would often think about his first days there, including his twenty-second birthday. He was still manic when they brought him there, couldn't even say a word on the mockery which was his hearing and verdict. He was sentenced in a second and he was surprised they didn't hand him over to the Dementors right away. He didn't care, though.

He was in state of shock, mortified with the fact that Peter Pettigrew turned to the one to get the best of them. All of them. Everybody always excluded him due to his limited social intelligence, but Peter was quite good at magic. Hanging out with Remus, James and Sirius only gave him more and more knowledge. He managed to became an Animagus in the same night as James and Sirius, proving that he indeed was talented. But Sirius was still surprised of how evil the fate can turn. How did the little Pettigrew who worshipped them managed to screw everything up? Sirius was disgusted with all the fuss Ministry made over Peter's alleged death. He felt sorry for his mother, and figured it's better for her to think that her Peter was a hero rather than knowing the truth.

No one, not one living soul, came and even tried to defend him. Sirius wasn't sorry, though. His idea was most definitely the worst idea anyone ever had. His idea. Because of his idea, James and Lily were dead, and Harry was sent to live with Dursleys. Lily told him about her sister and her hatred towards magic and, in fact, anything not perfectly normal and ordinary and Sirius' knew that Harry won't be loved there. And that was breaking his heart even more with each day passing.

After their encounter in the Shrieking Shack and his and Buckbeak's escape, Sirius swore to himself and to his memory of the Potters that he will protect Harry with his life, just like he was supposed to protect them. He felt like he betrayed everyone to whom he swore to protect; his brother Regulus when they were children, the Potters, Marlene and Dorcas... Because all of those losses, he was so happy to see his only living friend healthy as he could be. Remus was always looking rather sick so it was really hard to guess. When he heard that Remus Lupin is teaching at Hogwarts last year, he felt a bit relieved because he knew no matter what Remus would never let anyone hurt Harry. Even though, he was still wondering if Remus ever tried contacting Harry or his low self-esteem and high anxiety got the best of Remus again.

After months in the cave he became more and more nervous and had to get some answers. He didn't get to talk properly to Remus, or Harry given all the things that happened that night. And with all the tournament craze, he was more worried than ever and just couldn't bear talking to the hippogriff anymore. That day, after hours of reminiscing, Sirius figured what he had to do. He decided to visit his old friend. Knowing Remus, he hid himself in his Yorkshire cottage and hasn't seen anyone in the past few months, only to get something to eat. He was feeling sorry for Remus, though. Anytime Remus talked to Sirius about his condition, he would describe it as a prison which he outgrows once a month. After being in the worst of the prisons, he couldn't imagine coping with that for the bigger part of his life. The truth was, they both needed a friend in the given moment, and they were still friends.

Sirius decided to go by night, using Buckbeak. Walking as a dog would take too long, and he couldn't risk leaving Buckbeak alone. He knew where Remus' cottage was since he's been there a few times. The last time was on the day of James' bachelor party, when him, Peter and James came to Remus even though it was the full moon. They did what they did best, roamed around Remus' cottage, keeping an eye on their friend and the next day they made the best barbecue ever, joking around and enjoying their so early ended youth. Sirius remembered that day, just as he noticed that scenery became more and more familiar. In a matter of seconds Buckbeak landed. He didn't even need to secure Buckbeak because they were connected now, and he knew Buckbeak wouldn't leave him. At the sight of Remus' cottage Sirius' eyes started to wet, the sadness for the long-lost times and friends became unbearable for a minute. He just stared at the crooked house, noticing the smoke coming from the chimney which meant that Remus was home. Sirius was relieved. He didn't bother taking his dog form, he knew nobody can see him there except Remus.

Sirius walked to the door, took a deep breath and knocked three times. First two knocks were fast, the last one slower. That was the Marauder knock, the knock which meant that another one is present and that there is no one else around. Remus knew that Peter won't be visiting him, so there could be only one person knocking on his door. Sirius heard commotion from inside the house, and he became slightly more nervous again. Remus opened the door, hair messy just like his stubble beard and shabby clothes. Dark circles on his eyes meant only one thing, the full moon is coming, so he doesn't sleep so much.

„Moony, hello,“ Sirius said a bit nervously.

„Sirius,“ Lupin was surprised by his late night visitor. „Come in, hurry.“

Sirius stepped into the cottage which seemed emptier and even more tumbled down than before. Sirius was always so sorry to know how Remus lived, but never actually did anything to help him, truth be told. He knew that Remus wouldn't accept any financial help, though so why even bother? He sat in the one armchair facing the fireplace, while Remus took the other one.

„Is everything alright? Is Harry okay?“ Remus said concerned.

„Well, as far as I know everything is fine,“ Sirius said, trying to escape the look of his old friend. He was still uncomfortable around people, and because of all the guilt he felt for not believing Remus it was even harder.

„Oh, alright. Do you want some tea?“ Remus asked. He was too nervous with Sirius' presence, not because he didn't want him there but because he didn't know how to act around him. Their friendship was tainted even before everything fell apart, but Remus chose to trust Sirius last year, and he didn't regret it since it was the right thing to do. Remus felt guilt too. For never visiting Sirius, even to yell at him or to demand the truth. But he couldn't face the man who, he thought in that time, made all the worst choices.

„Yes, thank you,“ Sirius' manners was always on point, even with being rebelious and even with Azkaban. Remus stood up and poured some freshly made tea into two cups, giving one to Sirius and keeping another one for himself.

„If anyone told me I would ever drink another cup of tea with you, Sirius, I would tell him to piss off,“ Remus joked and smiled. „I mean, before last year...“

„Hah! If anyone told me I would be breathing that werewolf stench of yours and not the Dementors one I would call them straight loony,“ Sirius signature bark laughter filled the cottage along with Remus' husky and soft one. They both took a sip of tea, and looked at each other. „How are you, Moony?“

„I'm fine... Well, the full moon is close, only three nights left, so I haven't been sleeping much,“ Remus said tiredly. It was obvious, and he knew that Sirius must've noticed it already.

„Ah, same old you then,“ Sirius tried to make the conversation a bit more brighter.

„Yes, some things will never change, and we both know that. So where have you been? Are you in more trouble than usual?“ Remus asked, still a bit suspicious about Sirius' visit.

„Well, since everything that happened at that Triwizard Tournament, I decided to settle in Hogsmeade to be closer to Harry. Almost died once, though, but that's whole another story and not a tea story, either.“

„Oh, I wouldn't expect anything less of you, I'm afraid,“ Remus chuckled lightly. He was happy to have Sirius there. Even after all those years, he was still his friend and all they've left are each other.

„Yeah, well,“ Sirius flinched his nose and set his eyes on the fire. „Old habits die hard. And you? Given the state of this,“ he waved his arms like he was showing the cottage, „you aren't doing well, either.“

„Not really, after my resignation at Hogwarts and people knowing about my condition it's borderline impossible for me to find something to work. But, I'm used to it,“ Remus took another sip of the tea. It was the truth, he mostly had jobs way below his skill level just because he was what he was.

„Sorry to hear that,“ Sirius said sincerly. He meant that because he knew that Remus was the one with the class A work ethic, and it was sad that he was the one who couldn't find the job. Suddenly, Sirius thought about what would it be like if he managed to get a job, but shook the thought from his mind because he knew that's impossible.

„Yeah well, you get what you get,“ Remus said flatly. „Why visiting me now? Sorry, but I'm a bit confused.“

„You don't have to apologize. I was thinking and thinking and thinking... And I really needed someone beside Buckbeak to talk to. It's not like I have many friends left and...“ Sirius felt unwanted suddenly. Almost like when he would come home from Hogwarts.

„No, pardon me and don't get me wrong, I don't mind you being here...“ Remus said in full speed. He was twitchy and tense.

„And I thought you could use a friend. If you still think I am one,“ Sirius said looking down at the floor. Remus started to laugh.

„Sorry, couldn't help myself. Remember when you've found out about my condition? When you said that we, all four of us though, will be friends forever? Of course, we were children then, but I hope you know by now that I will always be your friend,“ Remus said sadly. He said something similar to Sirius when Sirius confronted him for the first time during the first war. Then, he added that him, Peter, James, Lily and their baby are not only his closest friends, but the people he considered his family. And his mother thaught him that family always comes first. Remus knew back then just as he knew now that Sirius had a different family experience than him, but that he also considered them a family. And that hurt Remus the most, the fact that Sirius was suspicious of him after everything they went through together. But he bit his tounge and never said those words out loud. Not then, not now.

„Yes, but fuck Peter Pettigrew. I should've let him drown in the lake in our sixth year,“ Sirius said grinding his already bad teeth. He didn't want to hear another word about Peter as their friend because he was simply a traitor, human scum.

„Well, to be honest, I thought about that just the other day. But, then again, who knows what would happen then,“ Remus was always the one to think most logically among them. „But in this time, and in all the circumstances... I guess even with the downfall we are all that we have left,“ he lifted his tea mug like cheering, so Sirius took his and clanked into Remus'.

That night and all the following morning, Sirius and Remus talked. Remus informed Sirius about the things that were no written in _the Daily Prophet_ and he knew a lot of things since Dumbledore kept him updated. Sirius wanted to talk about Harry and Remus, but decided not too. Remus seemed genuinely happy with having him there. and he really enjoyed talking with his friend. All the sad topics and memories had to wait. Both of them knew that one day they will have to have a real conversation. A conversation about all the things that went wrong in 1981.

Remus agreed with Sirius staying for a few days and Remus even agreed with Sirius' company during the full moon. Remus never remembered those nights, and being the only one not to remember anything frustrated him in Hogwarts, but now he didn't mind. He was actually relieved because that meant that he won't hurt himself again. Sirius enjoyed that night more than Remus, like always, but he was negatively surprised with how much energy was necessary to overpower the wolf. Three days after the full moon Sirius went back to Hogsmeade because he was too worried about Harry. But both Sirius and Remus felt better. Both of them felt less alone than in the whole past thirteen years. And it was enough for that time.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there it is, the first chapter of the story. Planned on doing something entirely else for the first part, but I really liked Tonks and Kingsley working together. Don't forget to let me know what you think :) 


	3. Solitude

_16 th of April 1995_

It was the first day after the night of the full moon. Remus woke up in his cottage, naked, a bit bloody and bruised. He fell asleep on the floor because in the post-transformation delirium he thought that was the best choice. Oh, how wrong was he about that. He slowly got up, and the pain started to pierce his joints. It wasn’t so bad this time, though. Maybe because his human mind was calmer than before. He got himself into the shower, longing for a long hot shower but knowing it would sting his new wounds. He made that shower a quick one and looked himself in the mirror. Only two new wounds. It’s fine, not so bad.

Remus dressed himself slowly after putting ointments on his wounds, still tired from the night before, but somewhat more relaxed. He couldn’t deny that breaking of the inner tension with transforming. Calmness that came with the next day made it all more bearable. He made his tea with magic, not even bothering doing it muggle-way. Sirius was right about that. They are blessed with the ability to do magic, so why not using it to make your life easier? Remus placed himself into the armchair next to the fireplace, and moved his head slowly. The muscles were sore, but he was a bit surprised how well he felt.

Only a month before he spent the full moon night with Sirius. Even though Remus didn’t remember, since he was fully transformed then, Sirius told him all about their night. They went running, but Remus grew hunger and attacked Sirius. They fought for a while, nothing new there, but they stopped at once, both of them to tired to go on. They fell asleep in the woods near the ocean, lucky that no one caught them. In the morning they shared a breakfast, and Sirius took off with Buckbeak. And Remus was alone again.

Having Sirius for a roommate, even for just a few nights, reminded Remus about their Hogwarts days. It was easy to give Sirius a place to sleep, even in his small cottage. Sirius took his dog form and slept in the armchair. Easy enough. Sirius liked sleeping in his dog form for some reason. He sometimes did that in Hogwarts, and Remus protested that loudly because it was stupid to risk getting caught. They were a group of teenagers; a werewolf and three illegal animagi. Of course, Lily and Marlene McKinnon knew the secret and Dorcas Meadowes found out by accident, but still agreed to keep it all a secret. She and Marlene were the best friends, and Marlene was madly in love with Sirius, so Dorcas would agree to do anything to help her friend.

And just like that, from having just three friends who knew his secret and helped him with it, he got another three. Lily and the girls would go to the kitchens and get some food from the house elves, pack that up along with some warm clothes for Remus, and of course James’ priceless invisibility cloak. They would wait for them in various places, and Hogwarts wasn’t so strict back then. He would appreciate Lily’s warm hug in the morning.

Lily was like a sister to Remus, and that started in their first year of Hogwarts.. Back then boys didn’t know Remus’ secret, so he would hide in the library in the week of the full moon. He was scared they would notice his strange behaviour or his dark circles growing bigger. Lily would sit with him in the library, shared a chocolate with him, and they talked about magic world, both impressed with it. Sirius, James and Peter never understood Remus’ fascination because he knew about magic, but his father tried to control himself in front of him. Lyall Lupin thought that Hogwarts will never accept Remus, and that with using magic in front of him it will just become harder for the boy. So Remus’ childhood was pretty much muggle-like, and Lily was muggle-born, so both of them were fascinated with the new life that was given to them.

Lily would never ask him how he’s doing because it was obvious that Remus won’t talk, until that one day in their third year when Remus got himself another scar and Lily demanded answers. Remus confessed the truth, telling her the whole story. Lily stared at him for a minute and then hugged him like never before. From that day Remus knew that Lily Evans will always be his friend, his sister, his family. When James became serious about being in love with Lily, Remus had a little talk with his best friend. He intentionally sent Sirius with Peter to get him something, just to be alone with James. Remus just wanted to be sure that James is serious this time, making sure that he won’t hurt Lily.

At the day of their wedding, Remus was really glad to see their friends happy and in love. But even then, he longed to have someone like that, too. He wanted to have what James and Lily had, and he knew that those things never happen to someone like that. When Harry was born, Remus once again felt same emptiness. He loved babies and loved to play with Harry when he would visit Lily and James. But it only reminded him of something he will never have, a child of his own. He focused on work then, trying to ease his mind and not to think about the life he will never have.

It was foolish of Remus to feel sorry and responsible for everything that happened because he introduced Peter to James and Sirius. Remus felt sorry for Peter, who was shy and plump, and had real problems with trying to make some friends. Knowing how hard it is having no friends at all, Remus wanted to include Peter in their little group. James and Sirius agreed. How could Remus possibly know that that child will do all those things ten years later? It was foolish, but Remus thought about that in his darkest days. After James and Lily’s funeral, which was held on Sirius’ twenty-second birthday, Remus took off. He was too hurt to stay. Voldemort was gone, and so were James, Lily, Peter, Sirius, Marlene and Dorcas. Everyone. Gone. Just like that. And Remus was alone again.

Remus often thought about Harry, and the life he had. He hoped, even though he also heard the stories about Petunia from Lily, that Petunia’s heart would soften once she saw baby Harry. The boy who lived. But he was wrong, and he figured that out one summer night when he ended up on Privet Drive. Remus was curious, he wanted to see Harry after five years, so he managed to get close. He saw Dudley chasing Harry, throwing pebbles at him. Remus was worried with Harry looking very thin and Dudley being big as always. But he knew he couldn’t do anything about that. Dumbledore was clear, Harry must stay with his aunt. It’s not like Remus could take care of the baby, anyways. He was a poor werewolf, too dangerous for playing father to the one-year-old baby. And again, Remus felt like he let down his friends again, and again because of his furry little problem.

And then he ran away. He traveled a lot, all across the UK and Europe. He managed to get into the researchers group who researched Boggarts and non-corporeal beings. But, once again he had to quit it after a few months and one really bad full moon. Then he went underground, but he could never adapt to the werewolf lifestyle. After only two months, he decided that he would rather be alone for the rest of his life than to live a life that made him so sick. If he was in the pack, he was easier to seduce and he was afraid that the werewolves would get the best of him. And he didn’t want to ever inflict anyone with lycanthropy, so he ran away.

While on his run, he met couple of people who liked him, but he never stayed anywhere too long, so he didn’t bother making friends. Why would he do that when eventually they would all leave, one way or another? He had couple of flings, too. In Hogwarts, he always controlled himself, rejecting girls who shown any interest for him. He knew that he can’t commit and he would never risk losing control before. But when he was on the run, he gave in, and let himself be seduced with one or two tavern girls, after a few too many glasses of firewhiskey. As a teenager, he figured that before full moon his hormones get crazed to, so he was always carefull, afraid of losing control.

When Remus first tried Wolfsbane, he was frightened, but somewhat delighted. Even with his mind, and not the wolf’s, he liked the power the wolf possessed. He ran for hours, and for the first time he could say that the night of the full moon was a good night. But, of course Wolfsbane was expensive and Remus’ couldn’t possibly brew it because his werewolf senses would drive him insane. So, Wolfsbane became only one more thing on Remus’ list of wishes that will never come true.

Dumbledore approached Remus one silent night in the Leaky Cauldron. Remus was just back from some honorary work he did for the shop owners in the Diagon Alley. He was too smart to be an errand boy, but he had no choice, and he had to eat something. Dumbledore once again gave Remus a chance for a better life, and in theory it was supposed to work. Snape would make Remus’ Wolfsbane, he would have a decent job and a place to live, and he would help children teaching the wonders of magic. Still, Remus needed some reassuring, and Dumbledore did his best, so Remus accepted. And then it hit him; he will teach Harry. He will finally meet the boy who was a son of the two people he will mourn forever. And that thought made him happy. He could finally meet Harry in safe environment, and with his furry little problem under control.

Of course, Snape was eager to share Remus’ secret, so he did just that with the first chance given. And it was the night when he met Sirius again, and when Sirius ran away. That night went too wrong for so many reasons, but Sirius was alive and well, and so was Peter, so there was still a chance of getting Sirius’ life back. If only he could find Peter. It would be so easier if they were all at Hogwarts, and he had their magnificent Marauder’s map. Remus was so amused with the fact the map found a way to Harry’s hands, the hands of the only heir of the famous Marauders. He was even happier when he could give it back to Harry when he resigned.

Dumbledore was almost trying to make him not resign, but Remus was determined and Dumbledore knew he can’t convince him to stay anymore. However, Remus informed Dumbledore about everything. He owned that to him. Dumbledore was the first person who gave Remus a chance to live like a normal human, and Remus was immensely grateful for that. He told him about Peter, Sirius, the swap and how everyone was wrong; Sirius Black never killed anyone. He wanted to, but never did. Dumbledore, of course, already figured that out as he set Harry and Hermione to do what had to be done. Dumbledore agreed to keep Remus informed about anything unusual.

And of course, Dumbledore really kept his promise. He informed Remus about Harry being chosen for competing in the Triwizard Tournament in a matter of hours after it happened. Remus was concerned, but didn’t want to make a fuss about it, so he chose not to write to Harry. He was still ashamed of what happened that night the year before, and thought that Harry probably wouldn’t even care about his letter. He knew that Harry now had Sirius, and that he would most likely write to him.

It was all so complicated. Remus finished his tea and felt even more lonely, deep in his thoughts. He really wanted to be a good friend to Sirius, but he had no way of helping him. And that made him feel helpless once again. He felt some back pain, but that too wasn’t unusual. He didn’t like the sadness he got from his melancholic thoughts. Time to bury his mind in some of the books. From time to time, he would visit his father, who was always happy to see him. Lyall Lupin was feeling guilty for Remus’ condition more than anyone, and the least he could do was to buy his son stacks and stacks of books. Remus’ mother, Hope, read a lot to him, and Remus always dug himself deep in books when his mind was working overtime.

His cottage was small; he had two armchairs near the fireplace, a double bed in the back, small kitchen-like space, a table and a small bathroom with a shower. His mother was good at gardening, so Remus knew a thing or two about that, which helped him to set up a little garden. He planted some vegetables, preserving them to last longer than usual, so he could have a proper meal at least three days a week. And he never missed chocolate, because Madam Pomfrey sent him a monthly package of sweets and healing ointments ever since he left Hogwarts. She was always so worried about Remus during full moons, and she always allowed his friends to sleep in the hospital wing with him because during Remus’ first year she saw the little boy crying too many times. Alone, in the cold hospital bed. She, of course, always tried to console him, and Remus appreciated it all. He always sent her some wild flowers in thanks, or some book he found interesting.

All of that was great, but Remus missed company just like Sirius did. Only difference was that Remus got used to being alone and lonely. Sirius was just adapted to the situation he was in, he never got used to being alone. Remus did. He did that when he was a boy, actually. He had stacks and stacks of notebooks filled with scribbles and notes on magic and magical entities, all from the books he read. When Remus became a prefect in his fifth year, professor McGonagall gifted him with very nice writing quill, and Remus wrote all of his exams with it. Now, it was the only quill he had, and he was really happy to have it.

Hope Lupin died when Remus was 17. She got sick and died shortly after that. Remus was devastated, but still had his friends to cheer him up. It happened the same day Remus came back from Hogwarts for summer break. James, Sirius and Peter got some money and after Hope’s funeral took Remus on a small road trip to ease his mind. Oh, how nice was even to think about road trips right now. He had bunch of his mother muggle books and one old vinyl records player with bunch of records. He collected them and even introduced Sirius to some of the best muggle music there is. Sirius spent so much money on muggle records that Walburga Black was furious and wanted to forbid Sirius from hanging out with Sirius ever again.

He put some blues record on and opened the windows. Fresh morning air and a smell of ocean woke him up immediately. He was relaxed, but yet tense. He hasn’t felt that kind of tension in a while. Sirius’ visit only pointed out that something is indeed happening in Hogwarts and that someone definitely wants no good to Harry. They must stay alert. Constant Vigilance, as Moody taught them during the first war. Remus knew he had to do something so he decided to write to Moody. Moody was in Hogwarts, and he actively spends time with Harry, so maybe he knows something. And if he does, Remus will notify Sirius. It wasn’t much, but it was the best plan he and Sirius had.

* * *

_21 st of May 1995_

It was Saturday afternoon, and Tonks was sitting in the living room of her parent’s house, a place she used to call home. Her hair was magenta pink, short and curly, but her mood was a bit down. On work, she kept her part of the deal with Kingsley and pretended that she’s working on the Tibet trail, but she was actually amused with how funny that whole story seemed to her. Kingsley took her with him a couple more times, and they talked, but their brainstorming was interrupted with some dark wizards trying to smuggle couple of tampered portraits. She got hit with badly performed stun spell, and had to visit St Mungo’s. That was last week, and Andromeda was all worried about Tonks, so Tonks promised to her mother that she will come over.

It wasn’t that she didn’t like her parents, she did, especially her dad who was always on her side, and never rejected a good prank. Her mother was more stuck up, but had quite a hippie soul, so she never really got angry. Although, she was worrying too much about Tonks, maybe because she was afraid that someone would try to get her because of her abilities. Metamorphmaguses were rare, and Andromeda was more aware of that than her muggle-born husband. And, of course, her family was insane. Her older sister, Bellatrix, once swore that she will get them, and Andromeda didn’t want to give Bella an opportunity to even try.

Whenever Tonks came by to her parents, her mother would comment about how dangerous her job is. She would prefer Tonks doing some desk job for the rest of her life. Something Tonks found not possible because she would rather burn herself alive than do some boring paperwork forever. Ted, on the other hand, wanted to know everything about the criminals she caught, or the dark artifacts she saw. He was more fascinated by those stories. And Tonks understood that, because to be honest she was still impressed with all the things she encountered at her job in that short time.

However, she tried to get more information about Sirius Black and his friends. Tonks asked professor Sprout for help, convincing her old head of the house that she needed the information for Ministry investigation. And that wasn’t a lie. Tonks wanted to know more about Black’s magic ability, and she knew that her mother could tell her about that. Still, she was a bit nervous because her mother didn’t always like to talk about her family, and especially Sirius after his arrest. Tonks waited for her father to be out of the room to try to get some information. She started to fidget with her sleeves, something that made her feel better at the moment.

“Mum, can I ask you something? Something about Sirius?” She asked carefully. Andromeda flinched at the sound of Sirius’ name. She spilled some of her after lunch tea on the tea saucer, and looked at her daughter a bit surprised.

“I’m sorry, mom… It’s just…” Tonks tried to do some damage control. She hoped to see if her mother burned herself, but of course she tripped and fell back on the couch.

“No, Dora, sit. It’s okay. You just caught me by surprise. I assume it’s because of your job, so ask. You know that I will help you if I can,” Andromeda said calmly. Her Black face lines were stiff, almost not moving.

“Fine… Well, was he good at magic? I mean, was he like really good?” Tonks asked.

“You want to know how good was he? Well, Sirius was really talented. He loved using magic and never got enough of learning. Can’t imagine the day he decided to use it so wrongly...” Andromeda said, lowering her voice. She sounded so disappointed. And she was. Sirius was the only one of the Blacks who never judged her for choosing Ted and leaving the family. She never believed he turned to the dark side, but no one had any evidence to confirm that, so Andromeda grew to believe it really was truth.

“So, you think he could fight back the aurors?” Tonks asked curiously.

“Well, I imagine he did when they arrested him, didn’t he? Sirius was too proud to surrender, even in games. I bet he gave those Aurors real trouble,” Andromeda was sure in her words. Reports and details about Sirius’ arrest weren’t public, so no one knew exactly what happened except the Aurors.

“Hmm… And what about Peter Pettigrew? I knew you mentioned you met them all?” Tonks was even more curious now. Her mother just confirmed that Sirius wasn’t the type would go without the fight.

“Well, he was a quiet and plump, always tagged along with them. But if your question is who was better and duelling, I would say Sirius without a doubt,” Andromeda took a sip of her tea.

“I see, and Lupin?” Tonks asked about the only one of them who didn’t have thick Auror reports file.

“Ahhh… Remus Lupin. That man was the smartest of them all, I would say. Quite shy, but the brains in that one. You know how hyperactive you can get when you get excited?” Andromeda now asked Tonks. Tonks nodded, not really understanding the relevance. “Well, I would say that’s Remus Lupin’s brain all the time. He always wanted to talk Sirius out of doing unecessary and dangerous things. James was Sirius’ parner in crime, always together,” Andromeda smiled a bit. “Last time I saw James Potter alive, he brought Sirius drunk as a skunk in here, and he sat in that chair,” she said pointing in the now empty armchair.

“But Sirius betrayed James Potter,” Tonks said like she wanted to remind her mother of the events that happened in 1981.

“ I know, honey… But pardon me, I sometimes still can’t get it through. Sirius loved James, they were like brothers. Well, they were more like brothers than my sisters ever were like sisters to me. From the day one in Hogwarts, since Sirius was placed in Gryffindor, I thought they would be friends for life. And I was happy for Sirius to find someone outside of our family’s friends circle,” Andromeda sighed. She sounded so sad now.

“I’m sorry, mum. I didn’t want to pry,” Tonks really was sorry. She didn’t want to make her mother sad.

“It’s okay, Dora. It’s still a bit much, you know. I guess I’m more disappointed in Sirius than I thought,” she said flatly now. Black women really had one thing in common, they could gather their minds and feelings in a matter of seconds. Tonks wished she could do that like her mother, although she could do it sometimes.

“I know, mum,” She sat next to her mother and hugged her.

“Dora, Sirius was a good man. I don’t know what happened to him, but I really don’t think he could do that to James and Lily Potter, and Peter Pettigrew… He was good at magic, but I know dark magic better, given Bella’s preference. And that curse that killed those muggles… It wasn’t something you see everyday, I just know it. But, my opinion doesn’t matter. I mean, everything’s pointing at Sirius. I’m just sorry that both him and Regulus chose the wrong path, just like my sister. Well, I’m still not sure about Cissy, but given who’s her husband…” Andromeda once again sounded so disappointed.

“Well, mum, I’m glad I never met any of them,” Tonks was feeling sudden wave of anger. “They kicked you out of their lives just because you’ve fallen in love with dad, who wasn’t good by what? Some standards from 17th century? I don’t need that kind of family, and I’m glad you chose dad!” Tonks hugged her mother again. Andromeda smiled and hugged her daughter hard. She ruffled Tonks’ hair while hugging her.

“You are brave and smart young woman, Nymphadora. I’m so proud of you. But remember, don’t get blinded by hatred. You see how bad that turns out. Everyone, and I mean, everyone has at least something good in them,” Andromeda understood her daughter, but didn’t want her to become hateful.

“I know, mum, don’t worry about me,” Tonks said, looking at her mother. “Hmm, would you ever talk to any of your sisters after everything that happened?” She blurted out of pure curiousity. She never met any of her aunts, and she heard all the stories about Bellatrix, but Narcissa didn’t seem so bad. At least she never tortured someone, she just married a pure-blood idiot.

“With Narcissa, maybe. I mean, I would ask her why did she wait so long to talk to me. You know she used to send me Christmas and Birthday cards? She stopped when You-Know-Who fell, and Lucius became paranoid git. I do understand her position, and having a Malfoy heir for a son binds her to all of that madness. But, I must admit that I somehow hope that she still has her senses. You know, out the three of us, I think Narcissa is the smartest one,” Andromeda had a wide smile now. When she and her sisters were children, they got along nicely, and she had a happy childhood in that way. “Bella is stubborn and ambitious. She will always get what she want, but she will use her cunning mind for her goals. Narcissa is more sophisticated, she thinks three times before doing anything, and she has the whole alphabet of plans in her head. I, as you know, always listened to my heart rather than my brains, and I don’t regret it. But, if Narcissa came to me, I would hear her out. I owe her at least that. With Bella… I don’t know if I have anything to say to her anymore. Bella made it clear I’m not her sister anymore, so why bother?” Andromeda’s smile faded.

“But we both agree that Lucius Malfoy is self-centered slimy prick, right?” Tonks said and winked at her mother. Andromeda burst into laughter, hugging her daughter once more.

“Just be careful, Dora. And if you ever cross path with any of them, please take extra caution because after all this time, I’m not sure what are they capable of,” Andromeda said and pinched Tonks’ cheek. At that moment Ted came, and they spent a nice afternoon together. Even though she thought it will be much more exhausting, Tonks had a really good time with her parents, and she missed the human kindness.

When she came back home at her flat, she felt lonely again. She made herself a nice warm bubble bath, but she was still down. With hearing all those stories, she was more confused than before. Her mother was so surely talking about not trusting that Sirius did all the things he is accused of. And why did she changed the subject so suddenly? Two weeks ago, Tonks couldn’t sleep, so she made a little mental map about all the things she knew about Sirius Black and his little gang.

James Potter’s life became public knowledge, as much as did Lily’s. She didn’t need any more information on him. But in the section about Remus Lupin she added one new note; really smart/nerdy/boring one. She pulled the Hogwarts records she got from professor Sprout. He looked at the photo of him, and she realized how Lupin looked a bit older than twenty, and most definitely not like he was eighteen. She compared it to the photo of Sirius Black, James Potter and Peter Pettigrew who looked normal for their age. She saw Sirius’ famous Black face lines, and thick hair. James Potter looked like typical quidditch seeker. Peter Pettigrew looked like the towel boy. She noted her observations, and charmed the notes to be in different colours.

In James’ file was a picture of them all, celebrating some quidditch win. They looked so happy. Tonks was kind of envious. In Hogwarts she had some friends, but none of them were too close to her. She had some girl friends, but they all grew apart after school. Her best friend was Charlie Weasley, and they bonded just because they both felt out of place. Charlie was the second born Weasley, always afraid that it’s expected from him to act like his older brother Bill. It was Tonks who encouraged him to be himself, and he did that to her either. They were always close friends, but never anything more than that, except a few drunken nights that meant nothing to both of them. And Charlie moved to Romania, so Tonks felt more alone again. All the other boys in school were mocking her because of her ability to morph, and demanded from her to morph at will. Sometimes she liked that, but mostly she didn’t. She was never alone, though, always surrounded with people.

But she was kind of envious watching the photo of the Marauders. They seemed really close, and even on the picture you could see the bond between James and Sirius. If only there were more photos of them together, maybe she could see what her mother thought about. And she noticed something else when going through Sirius’ file again. He didn’t have a Black Mark. If he was such a devoted You-Know-Who follower, wouldn’t he be blessed with his tattoo? The longer Tonks read the files, the more inconsistencies she found. And the whole story about betrayal of the Potters became so shaky.

Tonks took her little journal she used for making notes she mustn’t forget, and things she found useful. For instance, last week Kingsley told her that he is going to the muggle world to guard the prime minister, and that he will be away for a while. He said that he will be back in the middle of June, so she couldn’t talk to him. No matter, she wanted to know more, and she was determined to find out more.

It was quite late, and Tonks finalized last of her work for the day. She grabbed the last issue of _the Daily Prophet_ and skimmed the pages. The last task of the Triwizard Tournament is soon, maybe she could go with Audrey and Mary. She heard them talking about going, and Tonks would really like to see her old mentor. She made a note in her little journal to ask Audrey and Mary about their plans. She liked Hogwarts, and the idea of going there for such an occasion. Why not?

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What could go wrong, eh? We got only what happened to Harry that night, and a glimpse of Sirius. Next chapter will include all of the presented characters, and I expect to publish it by the end of the week.
> 
> Hope you like it, and don't forget to let me know what you think :)


	4. Back at Hogwarts

_24_ _th_ _of June 1995_

It was the final day of the Triwizard Tournament. Gwen was walking through now empty Hogsmeade. Everyone was around the Hogwarts quidditch pitch, just like she hoped they'd be. It was more than six months since she left Hogmeade, and yet nothing there changed. She kept walking until she reached her house. She took a deep breath, and unlocked it with the key, not her wand. She liked that more, and of course the key was enchanted, so it wasn't really any difference.

Once she was in, she put her suitcase on the floor, and took a deep breath. In her childhood, she moved constantly, so there wasn't one place she called home. But her Hogsmeade house seemed like it more than anywhere before. She was born in London, but shortly after that her parents, Cyril and Anastasya, moved to New York. They stayed there for three years and then moved to Moscow. They didn't stay there much longer either, and moved to Paris when she was seven. When she turned eight, her father decided to leave them, and she and her mother went to Bulgaria. That was the last time Gwen saw her father. Out of all that, she liked living in Sofia the best because her mother was born there, so she felt connected to the place.

When Gwen was almost eleven, she received her Hogwarts letter. It was expected because both of her parents attended it, and her father's whole family went there. Her mother was reluctant, but eventually they came back. Anastasya bought the Hogsmeade house, and lived there while Gwen was at Hogwarts. Gwen was placed in Ravenclaw house, just like her mother. She didn't have many friends. The only person she considered a friend was a Hufflepuff girl named Polly Griffith. Over the school breaks, Gwen would travel all around the world because her mother was a Magizoologist. Gwen loved the adventures they had when she was just a girl.

The exception was the summer of 1981. Anastasya thought that it's safer for them to be in Hogsmeade, with Hogwarts and Dumbledore close. Lots and lots of rumours were circling in the wizarding community, about Voldemort finding the key to his success, and things like that. Neither Gwen, or Anastasya, believed it. Not until the day of Gwen's 13th birthday when her mother stormed into the house yelling that they have to move quickly. Gwen never understood why, but she figured it was connected to her father, so she never asked. Since her father left, it was only the two of them, and they rarely mentioned Cyril Doherty.

They moved to Bulgaria, and Anastasya managed to get Gwen transferred to Durmstrang. Gwen never liked it because it was too cold and too silent, and she simply liked Hogwarts better. And she missed Polly. After the horror that took place in the Godric's Hollow on Halloween night, Anastasya became more paranoid than before. She was scared for Gwen, and that's when she gifted her the enchanted cup. The one with the raven that she used when Sirius Black was on her housecare. Gwen never used it. Even when she got in trouble, she would get herself out of it all by herself. She was skilled witch, especially talented with potions, charms and transfiguration spells, and she liked learning more and more.

In November 1983, Gwen received another life-changing letter. Her father died, and as his only daughter, she became the heiress to everything Cyril Doherty owned. She knew that her father's family is one of the oldest Irish wizarding families, and she knew he was rich, but she was mortified when she found out how rich he really was. Even more because when he left her and her mother, they were really tight with the money. At the age of only fifteen, Gwen became so rich that she didn't ever have to work, or really do anything. Her inheritance included three estates; one vast manor in Ireland, near Wicklow Mountains National park, one townhouse in Paris, and one smaller manor near Cuddington. She got the key to Doherty's family vault in Gringotts, and to her father's one. The Goblins refused to send the list of all that those vaults kept by owl post, and demanded that Gwen comes to pick it up.

Anastasya was trying to convince Gwen to claim her inheritance. She even agreed with coming back to live in the UK, and she sent an owl to Dumbledore, asking him if Gwen can be transferred again. Dumbledore accepted, but Gwen still needed to prove her skill because the teachings at Hogwarts and Durmstrang were quite different. Gwen passed that without blinking, leaving even Severus Snape speechless when he evalued her Draught of Peace. That was, in fact, first out of four times Gwen left Snape speechless. Gwen was glad to be back at Hogwarts, but she still didn't want to claim the inheritance. However, she could do that anytime until she was 17. And she finally did it on her 17th birthday.

She emptied half of the Gringotts vault the same day. She donated the gold to the wizarding hospital in Sofia, and to many other organizations. She knew her father would hate to see her selling the family possessions, but she didn't care. Well, she did and she did that in spite of her father, still angry for leaving her. After her final year at Hogwarts, she and Polly travelled for some time. Then Polly got pregnant after a one-night stand, and they came back to London. Even though they never made it official, Gwen was the godmother of Polly's daughter, Brianna.

When she was 20, Gwen decided to find out more about her father, so she started to investigate his steps after that day in Paris when she and her mother left for Sofia. The more she knew, the more she resented her father. That year was the year that changed the course of Gwen's life. Brianna and Polly were attacked, and that resulted in Brianna's death. Polly couldn't handle it, and committed suicide. Gwen was devastated when she heard that news, angry at everyone and everything. She was disgusted by world they all lived in, and decided to live in the Muggle world. Like a squib. The only thing that linked her to magic was her mother. And that lasted for two years until Anastasya went missing, and eventually pronounced dead.

After her mother's death, Gwen settled in Hogsmeade, heartbroken because of all the losses she had. She lived there quietly, doing some freelance business with the ministry, or helping the healers at St Mungo's. She closed her heart to everyone, and only person who she could still call her family was her own godmother. But Gwen didn't like her family, so they communicated mainly by owl post. In fact, she hasn't seen her in years, until this little trip she took after Sirius left. When she left Hogsmeade, she stayed with her for a while, and then took off.

It was all business. Gwen was smart and talented, so she always had some business opportunities. She was really grateful to be in that kind of position, too. Not to mention that the gold was worth it because she even though she was rich, she didn't want her father's anything, so she didn't use her inheritance at all. She never even visited any of her estates, but she still couldn't get herself to sell them. She just needed to go away for a while, not wanting to risk getting caught when helping Sirius, or blowing his cover. The thing she said to Sirius as a joke, was in fact true, she really was pro-Potter.

With one hand movement, she removed the dust from everything in her house at once, making it spotlessly clean. With another hand movement her suitcase flew upstairs and unpacked itself. Wandless magic was one of Gwen's favourite skills she had, and she was very pleased when she finally perfected it. She was standing in the hallway, at the entrance to the living room which was connected with the kitchen and dining space. The bathroom was downstairs in the hallway, as well as her mother's old room. Now it was a room stacked with books. Gwen's bedroom was upstairs in the attic, and in the basement, she did have a pair of rusty old shackles, and a room reserved for potion making. It wasn't much, but she loved it, and called it home for a while now. At that moment she felt dizziness she did experience once or twice before. She felt her legs go numb, as she fell on the hardwood floor. It all went suddenly black.

She woke a minute or two later, still dizzy and confused. She got herself up, and placed herself on the couch. Her head felt like it will explode, but then all became clear. She knew what happened to her. Just as she summoned a cup from the kitchen cupboard, she noticed a big black dog entering Hogsmeade through her window. Sirius. She knew it was him. She stood up quickly, still dizzy, and watched him through sheer curtains. He was heading to the quidditch pitch. Suddenly, she felt the urge to go there to. Not because of Sirius, she just felt like something will happen, and that she should be there.

Gwen thought fast, summoning couple of potions from the basement, drinking them instantly. In a second, she felt better. A lot better. The last thing that needed to be summoned was her wand, and she was good to go. She did that, and left the house. It was the beginning of the summer, and it was quite hot. She didn't even put any other clothes on, so she left in dark blue maxi-dress. A bit unusual choice for hanging around wizards, but that was the last thing on her mind. She just wanted to get to Hogwarts.

She quickened her walking pace, her eyes locked on the big black dog in front of her. She didn't really know what she was doing, but she was glad to see Sirius alive, and still free. And then he turned, and saw her. He raised his ears in surprise, as she approached him. Gwen crouched, so their head were on the same level, looking him straight in the eyes.

"Don't be stupid, please. I assume you're going to the quidditch pitch, and so am I," she said, and patted his head. Sirius squealed, but then he started to jump happily around her, like he was greeting her. Gwen smiled and said, "Well, lead the way."

But Sirius didn't do that, he stayed by her side rather than in front of her.

"Do you have a plan, or you just decided to go there? Squeal once if first, twice if second," Gwen took a small glance at Sirius, who was looking at her most of the time. She wasn't around for a while, and he became the local stray dog in the eyes of the Hogsmeade population. Gwen was just thinking how the two of them shouldn't look suspicious to anyone. Sirius admitted he didn't have any plan by squealing twice.

"Great. Fine. Well, I think something is happening there. Not sure what, but it's something fishy. I know you are worried about Harry, but don't be foolish. Stay behind, or close to Dumbledore," Sirius was a bit surprised. Was she really just boss him around like he really was a dog?

"Don't give me that look," she said when she looked at him. "He will have no use of you if you're back in Azkaban, and you are risking blowing your cover just like that. Don't be an idiot, you know I'm right."

Sirius lowered his look, and was now sniffing around. Gwen assumed he was thinking about something foolish enough to get himself arrested. And she was right, if he's in Azkaban, Harry is on his own again. They continued walking in silence. Sirius would zoom around Gwen from time to time, just to get her attention. They got closer and closer to the quidditch pitch, the sound of festivities becoming louder and louder.

"Well, this is where I'm leaving you, Padfoot," Gwen said, crouching again. Sirius told her to call him that when he was in his dog form. His old nickname, the reminder of the good old days back at Hogwarts. "I will try to find Severus. I know you don't like him, but he can be helpful now, and he will help if I ask him to."

Sirius was a bit confused. Gwen told him that she worked with Snape for some time. He was like a mentor to her, but she didn't really need one. They just shared the talent of potion making, and liked working together. Gwen couldn't call Snape a friend, but she respected him and he respected her. Still, Sirius couldn't see a way of Snape helping him. However, he wasn't worried about Snape. It's even better for Snape to be occupied. He nodded to sign his agreement.

"It'll be okay, just be careful," Gwen said, patted his head once more, stood up and was now heading towards the castle. Snape wasn't the type to be early for that kind of thing. Quite the opposite, he would come as late as he could, so Gwen decided to look for him in his office.

It was an hour before the third task should start. Sirius decided to lurk around for a while, deciding which spot is the safest and the best one. He just wanted to see Harry, and to be close to him. He lurked around, and noticed that many people were here. Some were in the kind of business attires, so Sirius figured that they are Ministry employees. It was quite crowded, with all of the students of Hogwarts, Beauxbatons and Durmstrang. People were talking in groups, kind of separated. Sirius was just looking around when he felt a flash of pain right after his ribs. He squeeled, jumped, and looked behind himself. He saw a young, pink haired woman, dressed in _the Weird Sisters_ shirt and ripped jeans. She was red in her face.

"Oh," Tonks muttered, getting herself up. Mary and Audrey, her group of work-friends started to get her clean from the dust. "I'm fine, that silly dog…" Tonks was now looking straight at Sirius. Their eyes met, but Sirius sqealed once more, and ran off. He would recognise those cheekbones even in his sleep. "That must be Andromeda's daughter," was his last thought before he started running. He knew that his cousin Nymphadora was an auror now, reading about some raid in _the Daily Prophet._

Tonks looked in his direction for a while, but eventually went back to talking with her colleagues. Sirius assumed she wasn't there as an Auror, she was dressed too casually. He wasn't really sure what to do, but he noticed a good spot for him to watch, with the clean view of the maze entrance. And he waited.

Gwen found herself in the Hogwarts front courtyard in a matter of a few minutes. Just as she stood to breathe the Hogwarts air, she noticed professor Flitwick standing in front of the castle's entrance. She walked straight towards him. He knew about Gwen and Snape working together, so he wasn't really that surprised to see her.

"Miss Doherty. It's really nice to see you. What brings you here on such fine day? Came to the Triwizard Tournament's final I presume?" Flitwick said, smiling at his ex-student.

"Professor Flitwick! Nice to see you too. And yes, and no. I would love to talk with you some more, but I really need to see Sev…" she stopped at once. Gwen wasn't sure how comfortable would Snape be with her calling him by his name in front of… well, anyone. "Professor Snape. Do you maybe know where I could find him?" She asked, like nothing happened.

"Last time I saw him he was heading to his office, as usual," Flitwick said with no emotion in his voice or on his face.

"Thank you, professor. I hope I will see you later," she smiled at him, and headed inside the castle. Once she was in the entrance hall, she looked around herself. Out of all places she's been, Hogwarts was the most magical. It felt like home, even though she knew it wasn't. She headed straight to the Snape's office, hoping she won't meet any of the students along the way. She didn't want to be involved in some school gossips. Her wish was granted, and she didn't meet anyone on her way. Most of the students were on the pitch, eager to see who will become the winner. She was right in front of the office's door, taking a deep breath, and knocking three times.

"Come in," she heard Snape's voice, and she entered the room. He lifted his look from his books, and pierced her with his eyes. "Gwen…" he stood up at once.

"Hi, Severus… I hope I'm not interrupting you," she smiled lightly, closing the door, not knowing what reaction to expect.

"No, but I don't remember that we had an appointment," his voice was quiet, but she understood him perfectly.

"I know, I'm sorry. But I really needed to see you," she was nervous, but was determined to get Snape to help her.

"Are you in trouble?" He asked accusingly, squinting at her.

"No, I don't think so. But something will happen… I saw it," Gwen was even more nervous. The air down there was colder than in the rest of the castle.

"You saw what?" Snape stood out from behind his desk, and was now slowly walking towards Gwen.

"I don't know. I… I fainted. But it was a vision, I just know it."

"Sit, let me help you," Snape said, and got to his potion cabinet. Gwen sat in the armchair placed across his desk chair.

"Thank you, but I already did everything. Just like before," She said calmly, but with a sight. She was relieved by his behaviour. He turned, and looked at her, his eyebrows flinching a bit.

"I thought you well then," he said and poured her a glass of firewhiskey instead. "Then I presume this will help better." Gwen took the glass, lifting it a bit like cheering, and downed it. Snape was surprised by that, and he leaned on his desk, his arms crossed on his chest.

"Please, Severus. I know you don't like to do it, but I need to know what I saw. It's the same as that night with the werewolf…"

"Alright, alright, just stop talking," now Snape was the one with the nervous voice. "Prepare yourself, and don't reject me," he said, and Gwen nodded. " _Legilimens,_ " he muttered silently, Gwen closed her eyes, and he was now in her mind. She let him in without any resistance. He saw a man with the Triwizard Cup, and an angel statue. Just that. He didn't hear her words, and then he saw a big black dog, more like a memory outside of anything he was looking for. And then she snapped him out of it.

Gwen opened her eyes, and was now looking at Snape's suspicious look.

"What was that?" he asked her, his voice a bit louder now.

"Nothing, just a stray dog in Hogsmeade. It's not relevant for anything, and if you went there it means you went too far. What did you see, tell me please? Did you hear it?"

"It doesn't work like that, and you know it, Gwen. No, I didn't hear it, but I saw the cup, and some kind of an angel statue? What is that all about, focus," he spat.

"I don't know. I just know that… Look Severus, I know we had our… Differences, but don't be a fool. You've seen it twice, and you know that it's true," she tried to get him to remember the last year when she barged into his office. They did the same thing, only then she only saw a werewolf, and Snape knew that he has to keep an eye on Lupin. Two prophecies were made that night, and yet neither one of them were recorded.

"Alright, alright," Snape sighed, admitting that she's probably right. "So, I assume you don't have a plan?"

"No, I came straight to you. You are the only one I would let in…" she stood up, and stood right in front of him now.

"Am I supposed to be flattered by that? I don't know if I consider you a fool, or a smart woman for that," he said, and his eyebrows flinched again. His arms fell to his sides now. He was a bit more relaxed now.

"I'm sorry to bother you, forget it," she lowered her look, looking at the floor now, and turned herself to leave. Gwen didn't like Snape's reactions, and she didn't have much time, so if he'll act like this, their conversation is pointless. Just when she turned, she felt his hand grasping her upper arm, preventing her from leaving. She turned to look at him again, bit surprised by this move.

"Don't act like a girl," he turned her, so they were face to face again, and put his other hand on her other upper arm. "First, you need to calm yourself because we both know how tense you can get," he said, and rubbed her upper arms like it was cold, even though it was summer. Gwen was surprised by his behaviour, but she was used to Snape's changeable behaviour. Every time she saw him, he treated her differently, and that's why she couldn't say they were friends. She never knew what reaction she will get. But he was right, she was too nervous.

"Right, I didn't take anything for that," she was a bit embarrassed to admit that.

"Okay, then I'll get you something for that, and we'll go together down there," Snape said, let go of Gwen, and got to his potion cabinet again.

"You'll tell Dumbledore?" Gwen asked.

"Yes, and no. I will warn him, but I won't mention you, or your abilities," he said while searching for the right potion. Just as he found it, he poured it into another glass, and handed it to Gwen.

"Thank you," she said, and drank. "You want me to come with you?"

"Again, yes, and no. We will go together to the pitch, but I will go to talk with Dumbledore, and you will try to find Kingsley Shacklebolt."

"Who?"

"He is an Auror. Dumbledore trusts him, and I expect that he's down there, watching out for Sirius Black."

Gwen flinched at the sound of Sirius' name. That means he really was in danger to get caught. The Aurors are here because of him. She just hoped that Sirius is all right, and that he listened to her advice. Snape noticed that, but decided not to say anything.

"Shall we go then?" He said stretching his arm, pointing the doors now. Gwen nodded, and they exited the office together. They started walking towards the pitch, and Snape walked a bit slower than usual, trying to keep the same walking pace as Gwen.

"So, where have you been? I've been in Hogsmeade, but I noticed you were gone," he asked.

"Oh, and you came looking for me?" She was now looking at him, and he returned the look.

"Gwen…"

"Sorry. I went to do some business. Brought something interesting though, planned to visit you in Spinner's End once the summer break starts," she was much calmer now when potion started to work.

"You can still do that if you want to," he said, now looking in front of him again. Gwen didn't say anything. He was always like that with her, saying things like that, but acting like he's annoyed with her. Snape liked working with Gwen because she knew that he was a Death Eater, but never asked anything about that. Their experimenting with potions made them even better at potion making, if that was even possible. They talked about everything, and nothing. He didn't want to tell her about his past either, but she accidentally noticed the Dark Mark on his arm.

"And what have you done this year?" she asked, trying to ease the tension.

"Teaching these children takes much time, Gwen. And with this Triwizard Tournament, let's say complications, Dumbledore kept me a bit busy with keeping an eye on Karkaroff."

"Ugh, I hate him. Glad I escaped Durmstrang in time…" Gwen said with disgust in her voice.

"Likewise. So it wasn't really pleasing, or amusing around here," he said flatly.

"Maybe he…" Gwen started.

"No. He's a coward. He won't do anything, and if something happens he will flee that instant."

"Oh… You think this is somehow connected to Sirius Black?" she asked out of pure curiosity. Snape was surprised by her question, but he did answer.

"No, I don't think Black did something, but I bet he'll be here tonight."

Gwen didn't say anything. She knew about their rivalry, and didn't want to pry. They were on the Hogwarts grounds now, heading for the pitch.

"So, how will I know this Kingsley what's his surname again bloke?

"Shacklebolt. He is tall, bald and dark skinned. Try looking around where the Ministry employees are settled," Snape was nervous, and it was undeniable. What will Dumbledore tell him? He felt his Dark Mark burning his whole year, couldn't ignore it. He knew that Dumbledore trusted Shacklebolt, so it was logical to notice him as well. And, if he came to Dumbledore with Gwen, the old man would see right through them.

"It's time for us to part," Snape said quickly as he stopped. Gwen stopped as well.

"Good luck, Severus, I hope we'll talk again soon. Please, take care," Gwen said, turned from Snape, and headed to where the Minister and Ministry high-ranked employees were placed. Snape went in the direction of his Headmaster. It will be alright, they both thought the same thing, still afraid that maybe it won't be.

* * *

Tonks was seated in the booth reserved for the Ministry employees. Ministry was coordinating the tournament, so they could get passes to be there for the final task. However, Tonks expected something more exciting, especially after hearing about the dragons and the first task. They didn't see what was actually going on in the maze, so she didn't have anything to do, but to talk to Mary and Audrey. They were both married with children, or two. Mary was an Auror for three years now, and Audrey was there for six years. Tonks appreciated their friendliness, and they liked Tonks because of her enthusiasm, and positive energy.

Tonks was a bit bored, so she stopped listening to the conversation Mary and Audrey had, and started to observe her surroundings. There were a small crowd of people, mostly families of the students, and Hogsmeade citizens. She saw Kingsley looking a bit nervous, strolling around the pitch. He looked like something's going on, like he expected something to happen. She didn't see Moody anymore, though. Tonks saw Moody earlier from a distance, and waved at him, but he completely ignored her. That was odd because nothing misses Mad-Eye's eye. And he didn't have any reason to be angry at her, so Tonks was a bit confused by his behaviour.

However, now when Kingsley seemed nervous, she knew that something is really going on, but decided not to act. If they are needed, they will be called. She didn't have any chance to talk about Kingsley about the things her mother said, and about all the things she noted in her Marauder's files, as she called them, since he went back from guarding the Muggle prime minister. Tonks saw a glance that Kingsley had a positive reaction when she told him she'll be at the Triwizards Tournament final. She knew that Kingsley will have to be there because of Harry Potter, and his connection to Sirius Black. Kingsley was one of the few people in the Ministry who knew that Sirius was Harry's godfather. Tonks found that out from her mother, and Kingsley knew that.

Then she noticed the dark red haired woman approaching Kingsley, telling him something. When he heard the news, Kingsley nodded, and the woman went away, in the direction of the faculty member's booth. She had noticed that woman talking to Kingsley once before that, right before the champions entered the maze. Now Tonks was positive that that woman was involved in whatever is going on. While she was staring at Kingsley lost in her thoughts, she didn't notice Kingsley noticing her. She flinched when he started to walk in the direction of the booth, and their seats. Tonks was nervous now, feeling embarrassed for getting caught. She didn't want to look like an amateur in the eyes of Kingsley Shacklebolt.

Kingsley reached Tonks quickly, and smiled.

"Good day, ladies," he greeted his colleagues. Mary and Audrey replied happily. "May I have a word with you, Nymphadora?"

She flinched again at the sound of her name. The name she hated, and now she knew that Kingsley is serious because he never called her like that. She stood up, excused herself to Mary and Audrey, and joined Kingsley, walking away.

"Don't pretend you didn't see that," he said coldly. "But I'm kind of glad you did. You can be of help now. I figured you know something new about, well, you know, but that has to wait for now. Understand?"

"Nice to see you too, King," Tonks said jokingly, still embarrassed.

"No time for that. Did you notice something odd here today?" He asked.

"Well, no… Although, Mad-Eye pretended he didn't see me earlier. What's up with him? I mean, hello? How can you not notice me?" Tonks shook her head in disbelief.

"I noticed that he's strange, too. But I thought that maybe he's just tense. You know how he can get… cranky."

Tonks knew perfectly what was Kingsley talking about.

"I want you to stay here for a bit. If you notice something strange, you do something, don't wait, or hesitate. Got it?"

"Alright, but where are you going?"

"I need to see professor Dumbledore. And don't ask me too much now, just do as I say," Kingsley's authority yet again froze Tonks for a moment. Just like Mad-Eye's.

"No problem. I've been trained just for this. Constant vigilance," she did the funny hand gestures, just like she did at cubicle months before. Kingsley chuckled a bit, and said.

"The more, and more I work with you, I understand Mad-Eye's words. Constant vigilance, Tonks," he said, turned and left.

Tonks stood there, and observed. The spot he left her was a bit up the qudditch pitch. She had a nice look of the booths with the visitors, and of the maze's entrance. She observed the surroundings. It was a warm evening, and she was definitely not in a mood for duelling, but duty is duty. And then she noticed a couple of red sparks coming from the maze. One of the champions is giving up the fight. She saw people entering the maze, and bringing Fleur Delacour out of it. She was carried to the healer's tent, and her headmaster Madam Maxine followed, but the atmosphere was too cheerful to believe that something serious happened to her. While she was observing that, she noticed that woman who was talking to Kingsley again. This time, she was talking to Snape, right outside of the booth's area. Tonks never liked Snape, he was too dark, and negative. She liked morphing into him though, but she didn't like the detention she got after doing so.

Then another jet of red sparks appeared in the air above the maze. In a matter of minutes, Viktor Krum was carried out of the maze. Tonks was suspicious now. There was no sight of Igor Karkaroff, and the healers that took a first sight on Krum looked frightened. Something happened there. Now Tonks became more nervous than before. Should she get down there, and do something? No, Kingsley said to her that she needs to stay put. Krum was carried away straight into the Hogwarts' hospital wing, no doubt. Then, Tonks noticed a big black dog running towards the castle. She looked in the direction from which the dog came, and there was that red haired woman again, walking towards the faculty's booth again.

Tonks waited some more. The crowd was less cheerful now, the atmosphere became somewhat tense. She noticed Moody limping near the entrance, looking around, but yet again ignoring her. She didn't really know what to think. She scoped the surroundings one more time, and noticed Kingsley hurrying towards her. He looked even more nervous, or maybe a bit furious.

"Someone hit that Krum kid with the Imperius curse," he said quickly, looking at Tonks. "Did you notice something unusual here?"

"Karkaroff is missing. And that pretty friend of yours," Tonks said, morphing her hair in the same colour as Gwen's, "was pretty active too." She morphed her hair back. "She has many friends, I suppose."

"She's helping us. Just like you," he said. "I guess we have some time to talk now, so talk, Tonks".

Tonks didn't need to be persuaded into sharing her thoughts. She told Kingsley everything she could remember from her notes, and findings. She told him what her mother said about the Marauders, she told him about missing Dark Mark, and about the bond between Sirius and James. They talked as they were approaching the maze's entrance.

"Humph… You really outdone yourself," Kingsley said. "I must disappoint you, but I already know everything you just said. But, it's nice knowing that there is someone who sees the same. Good job, if this was a test, I would give you the highest mark." And Tonks became so proud of herself.

At that moment, a loud crack filled the tournament noise. The music started, and they saw everyone circling two people on the ground. Kingsley and Tonks shared a look, and started to run down there. Then they heard Fudge yelling that Cedric Diggory is dead. Questions filled Tonks' head. She wasn't sure what was going on. If Diggory's dead, then what about Harry Potter? Just as they approached the people in the entrance area, and started to move closer, Tonks noticed Mad-Eye dragging Harry out of there.

"Kingsley. Look…" she nudged Kingsley by his robes, and pointed into Moody and Harry.

"Humph… Maybe Dumbledore told him to do that," Kingsley tried to find a reason in the thing they just saw. They finally reached Dumbledore, but he was occupied arguing with Fudge.

"Tonks, please, go and get Mary and Audrey. Get all the students out of here," Kingsley said. Tonks didn't even want to ask any questions. She just didn't want to be there. The energy, the dark magic that she felt just by taking a glance at Cedric's dead body. She wanted to get out.

"When you do that, and when you're sure that students are safe, go home. And I mean it, go home, and wait for my instructions," Kingsley was now commanding her. Not like ever before.

"Oh…" She was a bit surprised. She was fully trained Auror, she could help, why would she go home now?

"Do as I say, Auror Tonks," Kingsley pierced her with his look. She knew that the battle is lost, and hurried to get Audrey and Mary.

When Tonks told them their orders, both of them stood up, and told her to lead the way. Tonks was now so exciting, senior Aurors gave her the task to lead. It wasn't much, but it was important because those were just children. Children just like Cedric Diggory, who died tonight. "How did that happen?", Tonks asked herself. Professors Sinistra, Sprout and Flitwick joined, and helped them. Tonks noticed professor Sprout smiling at her proudly. Tonks was grateful for the words that Sprout used with her. If she wasn't that strict, Tonks would never get herself to become an Auror.

When they did the task that was given to them, Mary and Audrey took off. Tonks roamed around the castle a little bit more, and then noticed that big black dog hurrying from the hospital wing to get outside of the castle. The dog noticed her, but didn't react. She will definitely ask Kingsley about that dog and that woman later. She deserved some answers. She got outside of the castle, crossed the viaduct, and exited the school's grounds. She took one last look at Hogwarts, still confused about all the things that happened. She could swear that she heard someone saying that Voldemort's back. But he can't be, can he?

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a bit longer, but I hope you don't mind. I know I said that this chapter will include everyone presented, and that there isn't any Remus here. I planned something different for this chapter, but changed my mind while writing it. What was supposed to be one chapter became two chapters, and this is the first one.
> 
> Gwen's story is a bit vague, I know that, but no worries she will explain everything soon :)
> 
> Don't forget to let me know what you think, the next chapter is almost ready for publishing!


	5. Preparations

_24_ _th_ _of June 1995_

Tonks was pacing nervously all across her studio apartment. She was a bit angry at Kingsley for sending her home like that. She wanted to be there, and be useful. She could help him, or Moody, no matter he ignored her. She could stay at Hogwarts, looking after the students, anything, just not being home. Tonks felt just like those Hogwarts students, sent away without any word of explanation. She heard them commenting that while escorting them, and she totally agreed with them. But, knowing professor Dumbledore, he will tell them exactly what happened, maybe even before Kingsley tells her. She noticed Fudge arguing with Dumbledore, while she gathered the students, but didn't really hear what was that about.

She thought that Fudge is a coward, hiding in his office, handing everything important to Scrimgeour, who passed it to Kingsley. "Kingsley would be a great Minister, but right now I don't like him," Tonks thought, still angry at Kingsley. She opened the bottle of butterbeer, taking a sip right from the bottle. It was two hours since she came back home, and she wanted answers, but didn't want to disobey Kingsley's orders. Mary and Audrey sent her letters by owl post, informing her that they got home safely. She did the same.

Just when she thought about sending an owl to that bloody Kingsley Shacklebolt, she heard someone knocking on her door. Tonks jumped, and the bottle almost slipped from her hands. She rushed to open the door, and when she did, she saw Kingsley standing in the hallway, looking distressed.

"That's not constant vigilance, Tonks, where is your wand? And you didn't even ask who it was," Kingsley scolded her, and walked into her apartment.

"Oh, come on! You sent me here to wait for you like I'm incapable of doing anything. I want to know what is going on, and you will not leave this apartment until you tell me," Tonks spat at Kingsley, her pink hair morphing in the most alerting shade of red.

"Oh, I'm sorry if I did what I know it was the best in the given moment," Kingsley said sarcastically. "Hold that attitude, will you?" started putting some protection charms on her apartment.

"What in the bloody Merlin's name are you doing, Kingsley?" Tonks asked confused. Why would he charm her place?

"Will you please, shut up for two seconds?" Kingsley raised his voice a bit. "And if you have another butterbeer, I would be delighted to have it." He lowered his voice again, still charming the place. Tonks was now even more furious because he was acting all suspicious, and too bossy. But, she took another butterbeer from the fridge, and handed it to Kingsley when he put his wand down.

"Cheers!" Kingsley said right when he opened the bottle, and he knocked his bottle into her. They both took a sip.

"Now we can talk. Or, better, I will talk, and you will listen. We don't have much time because I have a meeting with Fudge," Kingsley said, and waited Tonks' affirmation that she understood him. She was still angry, but she nodded. The both sat on her couch.

"Firstly, Mad-Eye never got to Hogwarts. Barty Crouch Jr., who was in fact alive all this time, somehow managed to knock Moody out, and he kidnapped him. That same man pretended to be Mad-Eye, put Harry's name in that Goblet, and did everything he could to ensure that Harry will win the Tournament." Kingsley took another sip, and Tonks was looking at him speechless, with her eyes so widely open that she felt like they might pop-out of the sockets. "Mad-Eye is alive, he was at Hogwarts hospital wing, so I guess he will be as good as new tomorrow. You know that there is no better healer than Madam Pomfrey."

"Oh my… I don't understand. Why would Crouch's son do that?" Tonks was confused, but relieved to hear that her old mentor will be okay. What is a year of being kidnapped to Mad-Eye Moody? Vacation?

"And this is where it all gets fucked up," Kingsley said, and Tonks choke on the sip of butterbeer she took when she heard Kingsley swearing. "He wasn't working alone."

"If you say that Sirius Black was helping him, I will literally burst into flames," Tonks said, because she didn't want to be wrong about Sirius. After the talk she had with her mother, she really wanted to know the truth, and maybe, just maybe ease out her mother's disappointment in her entire family. Kingsley burst into laughter.

"I thought you figured it all out by now. Sirius Black is a murderer and a criminal as much as I am, and you know that I'm not. It was Peter Pettigrew. He was the secret keeper, he betrayed the Potters, he killed those Muggles, and cut off his finger to make it look like Black destroyed him. He's animagus, just like Sirius Black, so he lived like a rat with the, get this, Weasleys for years," Kingsley was amused now.

"Scabbers? Percy's rat?" Tonks was now overwhelmed. She even thought of Black being the animagus, but never mentioned it to Kingsley, although she wrote it down in her files.

"That's the one. Black escaped Azkaban when he saw that photo in _the Daily Prophet_. He turned into a dog, and walked away. Something he could do anytime during those twelve years, but didn't until he had a proof that Pettigrew was alive. Last year, he didn't want to kill Harry, he wanted to get Pettigrew," Kingsley said calmly, and took another sip of butterbeer. Tonks jumped at once.

"A-HA! I knew it! I fucking knew it! I knew that this Pettigrew bloke is not an angel! Ha!" Tonks shrieked.

"Calm yourself, woman. The story is not over," Kingsley scolded her, and looked at her, waiting for her to sit again.

"Sorry… Go on," Tonks was a bit ashamed, but still proud because of her job well done.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you any of it earlier, but my position as a head of that investigation became crucial, and it was imperative that no one knows about that. Of course, Dumbledore knows everything, and that's why he wanted Moody to teach at Hogwarts. Those leads about Tibet? As fake as Lucius Malfoy's story about serving Voldemort under _Imperius_ curse. I made it all up, I'm glad it amused both you and Dumbledore," Kingsley said proudly. And he had a reason to be proud, whole wizarding world believed those rumours.

"So, where is Black? I assume you know," Tonks asked, trying to control herself.

"Of course I do, and you saw him too, earlier…"

"That dog! I knew that there's something wrong with it. I've never seen a dog at Hogwarts before," Tonks interrupted him.

"Oh, and what do you want? A golden star for extra effort?" Kingsley didn't like to be interrupted like that, so he gave Tonks a look. "Barty's son succeeded in his plan. The cup was a portkey, and it took Potter and Diggory right into You-Know-Who's hands."

"So, he really is back?" Tonks flinched, and she felt goosebumps all over her body.

"I'm afraid so. And that's why I'm here. And please, no interruptions now. Fudge handed Crouch Jr. to the Dementors, and that's the main problem. He refuses to believe that You-Know-Who is back, and he argued with Dumbledore really hard. I'm still surprised with the calmness Dumbledore has in himself. However, Fudge is too stubborn, paranoid and afraid to do anything, so he basically called Dumbledore mental, and refused to work with him. Without his confession, there's no proof of anything, and I'm sure that Fudge will do anything in his power to make people think that Harry Potter cannot be trusted. But, that boy is something, and we must ensure he is safe."

"Then fuck Fudge, and his non-sense! What about Sirius Black then?" Tonks said, as she felt the rebel in her rising, but regretted it when she caught Kingsley's look. "Sorry, go on."

"Black's gone to inform Remus Lupin, and some others about tonight's events. The others that were involved in the Order during the first war. And that's why I'm here. When Moody accepted the teacher's post, he asked me to look out for you. You've really proven yourself capable, intelligent, and skilled. And Moody told Dumbledore about you, and your special abilities," he said, pointing at her still red hair. She shook her head, and turned it back to pink. "The point is, Dumbledore agreed with Moody, and me. We could really use your help. He sent me here to invite you to join the Order of the Pheonix."

"The Order of what now?" Tonks looked at him shocked. What is all this about? Moody talked about her to Dumbledore? And Dumbledore wants her to join what? And Kingsley is a part of it? What is happening? The thoughts rushed through her head.

"It's a secret society, Dumbledore is the leader. We must fight You-Know-Who, and the Ministry won't do anything about that. We must take the matter in our own hands, and we need capable people. You don't have to answer tonight, I understand if all of this is a bit too much now," Kingsley said, secretly hoping that Tonks will accept.

"Were you confunded today? Of course I'll join! The whole point of being an Auror is to kick some arse, and I would love to kick some Death Eaters right in the face. And Moody is a part of it? Yes! A guerilla secret society? Where do I sign up?" Tonks shrieked with excitement.

"Tonks, I'm really glad to hear you so eager about this. But, I must warn you. It's dangerous, and we don't know how will the things turn out from tonight. No one can now about this, you understand that?"

Tonks now thought about her mother and father. Her mother would join this cause, for sure. Everything You-Know-Who wanted was everything why Andromeda Tonks lost her family. She lost her sister to his cause, even though she's not dead. But if Kingsley said not to tell, she wouldn't.

"I do, I do. I'm sorry, you know how I get when I'm excited. But it only shows you my honest reaction, I really want to join. If You-Know-Who is back, I don't want to sit in the Ministry, and do Scrimgeour's homework all the time," she tried to control herself, and for once she managed to hold up her emotions.

"Alright. I will let you know when our first meeting will be, and where. We haven't discussed where the headquarters will be. I won't be asking you if you're sure anymore. You're not a child, Nymphadora, and I expect from you to behave yourself," Kingsley said pleased.

"Don't worry. Even if I embarrass you and Mad-Eye, you don't stand a chance, he will kill me first," Tonks joked, and they cheered with the butterbeer. "For the Order, then!"

Both of them downed their bottles. Kingsley still looked a bit tense, and Tonks wasn't mad at him anymore. This whole plan has Mad-Eye written all over it. Once again she was so grateful to have Mad-Eye Moody in her life as her mentor.

"Oh, I have one question. Who's with us?" Tonks asked Kingsley cautiously. Maybe her mother already knew about it.

"Well, Dumbledore is the leader. I think all of the Weasleys are in, Lupin, Black, Sturgis Podmore, Dedalus Diggle, that old Elphias Doge, Emmeline Vance, you know her, bunch of Hogwarts professors, and I guess Hestia Jones will now join. You know her?" Kingsley tried to remember all the people who will definitely join the Order, some of them again, some of them for the first time.

"I do. She worked with that old toad Umbridge, and quit last year. She's quite funny, I don't know how she managed to work with Umbridge for three years," Tonks didn't like Umbridge because of her superiority complex, and Umbridge didn't like Tonks because she wasn't usual, and a Slytherin pureblood. Something Tonks was supposed to be, given her mother's heritage.

"Well, yes. She helped me and Arthur couple of times when we did some work for Dumbledore. And she is, after all, some distant cousin of Alice Longbottom, so I guess she will indeed join," Kingsley said, and got up. "My time is up, Tonks. Take care of yourself, and we'll see each other at work."

"Oh, I still have so many questions!" Tonks wanted to know everything now, but by Kingsley's lack of reaction when hearing her words, she figured she will have to wait for a while. Then, he turned just as he reached the door.

"Okay, one more. Shoot."

"Hmm… Were you in the first Order, too?"

"No, not officially. But I strongly agree with Albus Dumbledore, and I will do whatever I can to help his cause. Just like I did back then when I was just an informant. See you, Tonks!" he turned, and opened the door. He was gone.

Tonks was overwhelmed. Everything Kingsley just said, it was so much to process. She already knew most of the people Kingsley mentioned. Well, she heard all those names at least once. She still remembered Sirius from his visits when she was just a little girl. He was the cool cousin, always bringing her toys that changed colours just like her hair. But she didn't remember any of his friends, and they all were at her parents' house at least once when she was there.

Last week she even saw Remus Lupin. It was the day Kingsley came back from his Muggle Prime Minister mission, and they went for a drink after work. Right when they were walking down the Diagon Alley, Lupin was leaving the apothecary carrying one small bag in his hand, and passed by them. He greeted Kingsley with the polite nod. Tonks would recognise him anywhere. She spent nights looking at her notes, and their files, so she remembered every detail of them, including the pictures, and of course Remus' face scar. He looked tired, and shabby, like he wasn't sleeping well. Even in person, he did look a bit older than he really was. Little did Tonks know that she saw Remus on the first day after the longest night in the month when it comes to Remus Lupin.

She, of course, knew all of the Weasleys. Charlie was the same year at Hogwarts like her, and she met Bill there too. And their parents knew each other from their days at Hogwarts, so they spent some holidays, and a couple of family lunches together. She met the rest of the Weasley children during her first Hogwarts summer break. Tonks liked the family atmosphere in the Burrow, and she loved playing in the fields with Bill and Charlie. When they were a bit older, they would keep an eye on the younger ones, while their parents would share a cup of tea after one of many delicious meals made by Molly Weasley. Tonks was a bit envious of Charlie, who was always complaining about his brothers, and little sister. When surrounded with the Weasleys, Tonks couldn't help herself, and she felt kind of lonely. She didn't have any brothers or sisters, and she refused to believe that all the siblings are like her mother's. Still, she was glad that she had Charlie in her life. He was her oldest friend, even though they didn't see each other that much anymore.

Most of the Order's members she met while working, and during her Auror training. Those were quite interesting people who Dumbledore gathered, and Tonks was happy to become a part of it. She never felt like she belonged in the Aurors Office. She liked her job, and was happy when she got in, but most of her colleagues made her feel unwanted there. Like she doesn't belong there. She felt that way before. Because of her metamorphmagi abilities, she was quite popular in Hogwarts. But people weren't interested in her, or what she has to say, only what she could do. It became tiring, and that's why Tonks started doing all of her shenanigans.

Tonks started to clean out her table from the Marauders investigation notes. She doesn't need that anymore. She found out the truth, and she will be meeting two out of three living Marauders soon. Still, she was kind of nervous. She felt like all of those people Kingsley counted were more capable, and skilled than her. What if she comes out as the worst of them? She knew that her hair is turning indigo blue now, like it always did when she felt a wave of low self-esteem. "It will be okay, I can do this. I will do this!", she repeated this mantra in her head. And she really needed a shower.

She took a quick shower right after she finished putting away the notes, and laid down on her bed. Her thoughts were still buzzing, but she had to admit it was all so exciting too. Today was supposed to be something entirely else. She was supposed to go to the festivities with Audrey and Mary, have a little fun, visit Zonko's, and just go home. Instead, all four of the Tournament champions were attacked, and one was killed. Mad-Eye was kidnapped. Sirius Black is innocent. You-Know-Who is back. Fudge won't budge. She became the part of guerilla Order. And then it hit her. She didn't find out who that red haired woman was. Damn it! She knew that she forgot to ask Kingsley something. But she will, the first time she gets a chance. For now, she chose to fall asleep, her body too tired to fight her overwhelmed mind.

* * *

The summer night air was warm, and heavy. Sirius was running out of the castle, almost knocking out Mrs Norris, who was lurking in the front courtyard. There wasn't time to waste. He must get to Remus' as fast as he can. If Pettigrew is joined with Voldemort, his only disguise is compromised, and he cannot waste any time. He will again use Buckbeak's help with travelling. He ran as fast as he could. Harry was safe, and that was all that mattered. And when he's at Dursley's, he is safe too. Dumbledore really thought of everything.

Even though he was in his animagi form, his mind was working so fast. What will happen now? Will Dumbledore send him somewhere far away now? He won't leave, though, and nothing could change his mind. He must stay close to Harry, as close as possible. Remus will agree with him, won't he? Sirius entered Hogsmeade lost in his thoughts. It was empty, and he was sure that the Aurors were here somewhere. He should be quick. Right when he reached the village's exit, he noticed the light coming from Gwen's house. And in a second, he decided to make a short break. In another, he scratched her door, trying to get her attention. He didn't have to wait long, though. Gwen opened the door, and he heard her whispering.

"Come in, fast."

He jumped into her house, and she closed the door. The black dog turned into a man in a second, as he knew that her house is well protected, and that he's somewhat safe there.

"Is Harry alright? Severus told me to leave when he figured what happened to that poor Diggory boy," Gwen said with serious concern in her voice.

"Yes, he is. A bit shocked, but he will be fine. What's up with you and Snivellus, anyway?" Sirius didn't like or trust Snape, and he couldn't imagine why Gwen liked working with him.

"Don't call him that. I would leave anyway, even without him telling me so." Gwen crossed her arms on her chest. "However, I believe his judgement, and he has Harry's best interest at heart, even though you don't think so."

"Alright, I can't bother about him now. I came to tell you I'm leaving. I will stay at my friend's for a while," Sirius said, not wanting to compromise Remus.

"Lupin's?" Gwen asked, lifting her eyebrows. Sirius was once again shocked how she knew everything

"Well, yes. But I couldn't leave without asking you… How did you know something will happen tonight? I never lied to you, so I think it's fair that you do the same now for me," Sirius was determined to know at least something about her. He stayed at her place for two weeks, but she never told him anything about herself. He knew her name, that she went to Hogwarts, and that she was sorted in Ravenclaw. He knew that her parents are dead, and that her mother took her to Woodstock when she was barely one. And he knew she's really, really good at potion making, and cooking too. But, most things about Gwen were still a mystery to him.

"You're right. Come," she headed into her basement, and he followed. Again, with only her hand moving, the light was on. He never went there before, and was surprised to see that she wasn't joking about those shackles. She opened the door of her potions room, and let him in first. She closed the door, and opened the chest that was placed in the furthest corner of the room. Sirius looked at the content of the chest, and was now confused even more than before.

"Are those…" he wasn't even capable of finishing the sentence. Gwen closed the chest, and sat on it.

"Prophecies, yes. You see, I'm a seer. Well, kind of. My mother's family, complicated and long story. The point is, I can see things. I see visions, not exactly what will happen, but I see things that are leading to it. Today, I saw the Triwizard Cup, and the angel statue. But I didn't remember it. You see, if I'm alone and nobody hears my words, it's kind of useless."

"I don't understand. You weren't alone then? And where were you since December?" Sirius stood in front of her, demanding answers. Some things were now clearer, but he was still full of questions. Still, he knew that his time is limited.

"I was alone. It was right before I saw you entering Hogsmeade. And that's why I headed to see Severus. He is highly skilled legilimens, and he managed to get part of what I saw. But it's still a puzzle to me, because I don't understand what happened. And I was on a trip, had to do some business."

"The cup was a portkey, and the statue you saw… It must be from the graveyard. The portkey took Harry and Cedric there. Long story short, Peter Pettigrew killed Cedric Diggory, and helped Voldemort gain his body back. He is back, Gwen," Sirius informed her, still under the impression of Harry talking about what happened. He must get to Remus as soon as possible. Gwen will have to remain a mystery for now.

"Don't say his name," Gwen hissed, and stood up. She was terrified with the information he just gave her, and Sirius noticed that, but decided not to ask why. Like most of the wizarding community, she was probably just scared.

"The point is, he's after Harry. He wants to kill Harry, and I won't let that happen," Sirius said proudly, determined to protect Harry even with his own life.

"Sirius," Gwen came closer to him, only one step divided them now. "I won't tell you what to do. But please, don't act before thinking twice."

"Dumbledore told me to go to Remus'. He gave me another task, for the both of us. So, I will be staying with him for a while. Take care, Gwen," he said, and pinched her cheek. Then he turned to leave the room, and right when exiting the room he looked at her again. "I hope I will meet you again. I still have a couple more questions for you," he said with a smirk, and walked away.

It was just past midnight when Remus Lupin decided to lift his head from the books, and get himself another cup of tea. He wasn't so sleep deprived as usual, but he was too anxious to fall asleep, so he buried himself in the books. He was still waiting for the news from the Triwizard Tournament, and was a bit worried now. It was supposed to be over by now, but he knew nothing about it.

He exited the house, and sat on the porch steps in front of his cottage. The summer air, and the sound of the sea soothed him, just like the tea he was drinking. The last full moon was two weeks ago, and it wasn't that bad. He was actually surprised by that, but didn't want to question his luck. The day after that he was even able to go to the Diagon Alley, and get some remedies. He was limping, but he didn't even need his walking cane. The Diagon Alley was quite empty, and he liked it more that way.

He didn't see any of his acquaintances, except Kingsley Shacklebolt. Kingsley was accompanied by, what Remus presumed at first, some young witch on Auror training. He was quite surprised when he noticed the Auror badge gleaming from her robes. She had short pink hair, in sort of the punkish style, something you don't see on an Auror, well ever. And she wore big clunky combat boots, even though it was summer. Remus instantly remembered Sirius wearing similar boots during their whole fifth year, including the summer. When he passed by them and walked away a bit, Remus felt something unusual. He felt like she was familiar to him, like she knows her from somewhere. But he knew that can't be possible, because he would definitely remember a woman with… And then he remembered. He remembered Andromeda Tonks' recognizable Black cheekbones. And he remembered Sirius' pink haired baby cousin. And he remembered article from _the Daily Prophet_ , about new Aurors, mentioning Nymphadora Tonks. He couldn't help, but turn around. He couldn't see her face anymore, but when he took another look at her pink curls, he knew who she was.

He was now staring at the forest, thinking about how fast the last 13 years passed by. Everything changed, yet he felt the same. The same melancholy, he felt in 1981 when Sirius accused him of being a traitor, the same burden that sat on his heart from the night Lily and James were killed. He gave up on the idea of things getting better. Most definitely after the year of teaching at Hogwarts. Remus really liked the job, and was devastated when he had to resign. But it was the right thing to do. He endangered Harry, Ron, Hermione, and even Snape. He wouldn't be able to forgive himself if he did anything to them. He was then more sure than ever that normal job, and normal life just can't work with his lycanthropy. He stood up, ready to try to get himself to sleep, but he heard a loud squawk. He turned, and saw Sirius on a hippogriff. "This can't be good," Remus thought.

"Moony… I'm glad to see you awake, I would hate myself for waking you up," Sirius said, and rushed to give his friend an awkward hug. Remus was now confused one.

"Sirius, is everything okay? Is Harry alright?" he asked, nervous and tense because of the possible answer.

"Harry's good, but something did happen. Voldemort's back, and that fucking Peter Pettigrew helped him. Voldemort fought Harry, he saw James… and Lily…" Sirius was talking incoherently. He always did that when being overwhelmed, and in a hurry.

"I don't understand," Remus looked at him, his eyes wide open. He definitely won't sleep after this. "Let's go inside, so you can tell me exactly what happened. Did Dumbledore send you?"

"Yes," Sirius' answer was short, and he entered Remus' cottage. Remus instantly went to get a bottle of cheap firewhiskey from the cupboard.

"It isn't from your father's cellar, but it'll do," he said like he is apologising. Sirius was surprised by that because after twelve years in Azkaban, everything outside felt and tasted like God himself made it.

"Cheers," he said when Remus' gave him a glass.

They placed themselves in the armchairs again, just like three months ago. Sirius told Remus everything, while they drank all of the firewhiskey. Every detail he could remember. Remus was trying to process all of it. Mad-Eye kidnapped, the portkey, Cedric Diggory dead. He was mortified when he heard that. Cedric was a clever young man, excellent in his class. But that didn't matter. Peter Pettigrew killed him. Like he was nothing.

"I can't believe Peter would do this," Remus sighed. "For fuck's sake…" He stood up and threw his now empty glass into the wall. It smashed to smithereens in a second. He was angry. Angry at himself for not trying to find Wormtail this whole year. He was angry, even for ever speaking to Peter Pettigrew.

"Fuck Peter Pettigrew, Moony!" Sirius yelled. "Don't lose your focus." Sirius was right. Remus Lupin was the calmest person ever, but when he got this angry, he was unstoppable. Sirius was more hot-headed and acting in the moment, while Remus' head was more like boiling until all the hell broke loose. "Yes, we should kill him, and the only thing I regret is not doing so, but now Harry needs us. Both of us, Remus."

Remus sat down again. He knew Sirius was right. And he knew he must hold his temper now more than any time before.

"You're right," he said silently. "What shall we do? What did Dumbledore say to you?"

"Well, we should inform the others. He already talked to that Kingsley Shacklebolt, who leads the investigation about me. I guess he's still an ally, Dumbledore trusts him. Oh, I saw Andy's daughter today. She's really grown now."

"I think I saw her too. I was in the Diagon Alley, and she was with Kingsley. I figured only after that who she was," Remus chuckled. It wasn't an usual reaction from him, but that must be the side effect of too much firewhiskey.

"Moony… Do you think this is a start of another war?" Sirius asked silently, his voice cracking. Last time he lost everything. They both did. Even the thought of another war was too frightening.

"Well, I suppose it is. The first war didn't really finish, though. Voldemort was defeated, but he wasn't dead, and the war will finish on the day he's finished too. I just don't know how will we do that," Remus was calmer now. It is what it is, and the main goal is to keep Harry safe. They mustn't lose focus. "I wonder what our next step will be."

"Well, after we do our task, we must wait for Dumbledore's instructions," Sirius said nervously. "Don't really get the man, but I can't really do anything else."

"Then we'll wait. I'll notify the old Order's members in the morning, and you'll stay here," Remus said with a no-argument tone of voice.

"Right," Sirius was not pleased with it, but he didn't want to fight Remus.

"We should go to sleep, Padfoot," this was the first time Remus called Sirius like that since forever. Sirius was surprised by that, but firewhiskey numbed his reactions. "It's better if we at least try to sleep on all of what happened," Remus said, stood up and headed to his bed.

Sirius turned into a black dog, and curled in the armchair, while Remus took the bed. The tension was still in the air. They both knew that they can't delay their talk anymore. But not tonight, they were too drunk, distressed, and tired for that.

* * *

Three days passed since the third task of the Triwizard Tournament, and Gwen was now strolling through the Diagon Alley. She needed the money, and more potion ingredients. She visited Gringotts, and the Goblins were even more unfriendly towards her. They didn't like her since the day she claimed her inheritance. If she didn't, everything in her family's and her father's vault would become theirs. And then she never even visited any of those vaults. But she didn't care, she didn't like Goblins anyway because they lied too much for their own good.

She visited Madam Malkin's and Flourish and Blotts, too. She wanted some new robes, and she never visited Diagon Alley without buying at least one book. It was a ritual of hers, and she dreamed of having a library full of books. Well, she in fact had three of those, but she didn't want them because they were her father's. She bought the ingredients at the apothecary, and figured she will need to pay a visit to a Knockturn Alley too. Some of the ingredients were not really illegal, but not really legal too, so they weren't sold in the Diagon Alley.

She turned into the dark passage leading to the Knockturn Alley. Gwen disliked the stench of that passage, and all of the creeps that occupied the Alley's entrance. She felt goosebumps on her back, like someone is watching her, but knew that she can't just turn to check. Maybe her choice of an attire drew up too much attention. She was wearing a purple light blouse, and a pair of dark, loose high-waisted jeans. She combined that with platform sandals. She felt comfortable in Muggle clothes, more than in wizarding one. But this time, she felt anxious with all the attention, so she pulled out newly bought robe and put it on.

When she made her purchase, and exited the Knockturn Alley's apothecary, Gwen headed straight back to Diagon Alley. Yet, she still felt like someone is still watching her. She made a slight turn, to look over her shoulder, but her hair was loose, and blocked the view. But, she noticed that someone is heading the same way as her, and stopping when she stopped. She stopped by the random shop window, pretending to look what's inside of it, and figured that she really is being watched by two men. They were looking ordinary for the place, and she couldn't get to see their faces better. "I must get out of here. The Leaky Cauldron. They won't dare to follow me there," she thought.

And she did exactly like she thought; and managed to keep her normal walking pace, pretending not to notice anything. They followed her through the Diagon Alley, waiting for her even when she stopped at Wiseacre's. She was a bit nervous, and scared now. Who were they, and why are they following her? Gwen's only goal was to get to the Leaky Cauldron, take the Knight bus, and get the Hogsmeade safely. She hurried her pace now, and she noticed her followers did too. They must've figured that she noticed them. But it didn't matter. She entered the Leaky Cauldron, and they didn't follow. She was safe. For now.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who followed Gwen, and why? And what's up with her and Snape?
> 
> Did Remus and Sirius had their talk? (Spoiler - Yes, they did, and it will be in the next chapter.)
> 
> And what about Tonks? Will she still be so eager to be in the Order after the first meeting?
> 
> A lot of things will happen in the next chapters, so stay tuned. Don't forget to let me know what you think!
> 
> P.S. I will post some more drafts and stuff on my tumblr account. If you like my writing, or this story, you can follow me there for more content :)


	6. Golden Heart

_27_ _th_ _of June 1995_

Another summer day passed, and the colours of dusk took over the sky. Three days have passed since Sirius, and Buckbeak joined Remus in his York cottage. They still haven't got any letter, or instructions of any kind from Dumbledore. Sirius was more tense with every day passing by. Remus was just becoming more silent, losing himself in his thoughts far too often. In fact, they haven't talked much at all. Remus sent owls to other Order members, informing them of recent events. All of them replied with a short answer, ready to join the Order once more.

Sirius and Remus were sitting on the porch steps, and talked about their Hogwarts mischiefs, and pranks. However, they didn't mention the worst prank Sirius ever made. The one that made the first cut in their friendship. The one that almost cost Severus Snape his life. Both Sirius, and Remus, could thank James Potter for saving Snape. Remus did, while Sirius was too proud to admit that he went too far. It was the first time that James and Sirius haven't talked for a few days, and the only time Remus doubted that their friendship will stay the same.

"You know, I never understood how Dumbledore hasn't discovered what we were doing every full moon," Sirius said, taking a sip from his glass, filled with firewhiskey.

"Well, you don't know how many times I thought about coming clean. But I couldn't, I still feel bad about playing with the trust that man gave me," Remus said calmly, guilt taking over his face expression.

"Nah, we were young, Moony. He would understand, even if you told him. Although, I guess he would lecture James, Peter and me into oblivion. And he would most likely tell McGonagall, which would make things harder for us," Sirius was always trying to justify their actions. His main argument was that they didn't do anyone any harm by becoming animagi. Remus burst into laughter.

"I can imagine McGonagall angry, but still proud. She always encouraged both you and James to do more, and I guess she knew that Peter would follow," he said, with his smile vanishing from his face. They sat in silence for a while, both of them feeling nostalgic.

"Moony… I've been thinking. It may be a bit stretched, but I think I know where the Order's headquarters could be," Sirius said more quietly, like he's not sure in his idea. That wasn't his usual behaviour. Usually, he was self-assured, and that prevented him to forsee the flaws in his plans, and ideas.

"I'm listening," Remus said, waiting to hear Sirius' idea.

"Grimmauld place," Sirius said, and downed his drink. "No one is using it, it has shitload of ancient defensive charms on, and I'm the only owner."

"And you would enjoy knowing you are fighting your family once again. It's not a bad idea, not bad at all. You should suggest that to Dumbledore," Remus was quite impressed with this idea. He was in that house once, and Walburga Black practically kicked him out when she figured who he is. Remus didn't like the house's residents, but he couldn't deny that the house was indeed beautiful. Of course, after you remove most of the decorations, those were just gruesome. However, Sirius was a bit surprised with the positivity of his friend's reaction

"You think so? Really?" he asked his oldest friend, still needed some reassuring.

"Yes, I do. Why are you so surprised?"

At that moment, they heard a somewhat loud crack. Area around the cottage was protected, but they needed to be extra cautious. Remus took out his wand, and Sirius took his dog form. It was safer that way. They waited, staring at the forest, awaiting someone to come out of there. They were immediately relieved when the figure presented himself. It was Dumbledore himself, accompanied by Mad-Eye Moody.

"Well, it seems that you don't have to wait any longer, Padfoot," Remus said, putting his wand away. Sirius turned back into a man, as Dumbledore and Mad-Eye approached them.

"Good evening, Remus, Sirius," Dumbledore said calmly. "I almost forgot how peaceful it is over here." Both Sirius and Remus nodded, greeting their guests.

"I assume it's safer for us to talk inside, if you don't mind," Dumbledore said, looking at Remus.

"Oh, of course. Come in," Remus said, and opened the cottage's door, allowing Dumbledore, Moody, and Sirius to enter before him. He threw a glance at the forest again. He sensed nothing, so it should be safe to talk. The four men now stood at the cottage, and only Dumbledore looked amused.

"I'm sure Sirius told you what happened, Remus?" Dumbledore asked, and Remus nodded again.

"How's Harry?" Sirius couldn't control himself, he needed to know what happened since he left.

"Harry is alright, and he will stay that way. He will stay at his aunt's for a while. And I expect both of you to appreciate that decision. As we all know, Harry is safe there, and we need all the time possible," Dumbledore said, leaving no place for any arguments. Moody still hasn't said one word since they came there.

"Can I offer you something? Maybe a drink?" Remus asked politely, a bit puzzled with everything that was happening.

"I would love to, but I'm afraid Alastor and I don't have much time. I hoped it would never come to this, but we must restore the Order. I believe you already assumed it will happen soon. Did you do what I asked you to?" Dumbledore's voice was subtle, silent and calm. He pierced both Remus and Sirius through his spectacles, waiting for their response.

"Yes, we did. I sent the notices to the old Order's members. All of them replied, ready to hear what our next step will be." Remus said, preventing his voice from cracking. Dumbledore was too calm, and it scared him a bit.

"Well, we still have to discuss where will we meet. When Albus and I figure that out, you will be notified," Moody said resolutely. It was his standard way of talking.

"I might have the solution for that problem…" Sirius said, and looked at Dumbledore, whose eyebrows flinched, and without a word he waited for Sirius to share his idea. "You see, I inherited my family's old house. Number 12 Grimmauld Place. It's well protected, my father made sure of that. And it's ancient… At this moment I'm the only person who can enter that house, so it's safe from my other, lovely family members."

Dumbledore looked at him, and his face looked amused. He knew that ancient families like the Blacks had really powerful charms protecting their property. Moody waited for Dumbledore to say something, and Remus looked at Sirius' frozen face.

"Aah… I really appreciate the offer, Sirius. I think it could work. But I will, once again, ask a favour from the two of you. As I said earlier, Alastor and myself have other engagements, and we must see to them. May I ask you to check the house for me? I know Remus is more than capable to recognize anything odd, dark or not fitting. If the house is safe, I don't see a reason not to use it," Dumbledore was pleased, and Remus and Sirius were relieved at once.

"Of course, we'll do it first thing tomorrow," Remus said, and looked at Sirius who was nodding in agreement.

"Thank you. I know this is hard for both of you, but I assure you; Harry will be safe. Alastor and I talked about putting the guard on his aunt's house, just so we don't miss anything," Moody grunted, confirming Dumbledore's words.

"Great, I'll do it," Sirius said, eagerly and thoughtless.

"I'm afraid I can't allow that, Black," Moody said sharply. "The Aurors will monitor Harry too, not all the time, but they will. Fudge is in denial, and he would like the chance to present Harry, and Albus as nutters. After Harry's safety, our main priority is keeping you away from getting caught, killed, or in Azkaban again. No discussion!" Moody now raised his voice, because Sirius' mouth moved, but he decided not to say anything. Moody was right, and as Gwen said before, he can't help Harry if he's in Azkaban.

"I'll do it," Remus said, firstly looking at Sirius, then at Moody and Dumbledore.

"I am counting on that, Remus," Dumbledore said, and his eyes sparkled under the half-moon spectacles. "But I'm afraid that it's our time to go. I am thankful for all your help, and I expect the report about the house tomorrow then. I wish you good night, and I hope both of you will get some sleep."

Moody and Dumbledore turned, and Dumbledore exited the cottage first. Moody suddenly stopped right in front of the doorstep.

"Oh, I almost forgot," he started rummaging his pockets. "Ah, here it is. Think fast, Black," Moody said, and threw a wand right in the Sirius' hands. His wand. The one Aurors took on the day he was arrested. He was surprised, never expected to see it again.

"Thank your cousin for that when you see her. I assume she will be eager to tell you herself, though, at the first meeting," Moody said briefly, and grinned.

"Wait, you mean Nymphie is in the order too?" Sirius was ecstatic hearing Moody's words.

"I'm not training brainless, good for nothing sods, of course she joined. And I think she will be thrilled when she hears that nickname! Don't forget, lads, constant vigilance," Moody said with a smirk, and left.

Right after the doors closed, Sirius started laughing out loud. Remus was confused by this, looking at him suspiciously.

"Pardon me, have you lost your plot? What's so funny?" Remus asked, while Sirius was trying to catch his breath.

"Moony… This is mental as fuck. The Order at Grimmaulds, and Nymphie is a part of it," his bark like laughter filled the room again. Remus still wasn't sure what's so funny, but the scene in front of him made him laugh too.

They talked about what possibly could they find at 12 Grimmauld Place until midnight. Sirius was apparently amused, or at least he wanted it to look like he was. Remus knew better, he knew that's Sirius' way of dealing with stress, and being worried. He would always try to laugh it off, until it felt better. Tiredness finally came over them both around midnight, and they went to sleep.

Remus was the first one who woke up in the morning. He decided to take a shower, and make some breakfast because God know Sirius won't do that. Sirius was really, really bad at anything cooking related. Just like every Black. When Remus got out of the bathroom, Sirius was still sleeping in his dog form. His head dangled from the armchair, and Remus sneered at that scene. Remus started making some eggs and toasts. It wasn't much, but it will be enough for now. The smell of eggs frying in the pan woke Sirius up, and he turned to a man now.

"Morning, Moony," he said and jawned, stretching his arms, and legs.

"Good morning to you too, Padfoot," Remus said. "Always right on the breakfast. Some things never change."

"I was always right on time, don't mock me," Remus said, and served himself food Remus made.

They ate, and discussed how will they do their trip. They decided to travel by the apparition. It was the fastest, and the safest way for now. Sirius, of course, had to take his dog form. Both of them were nervous, but they believed each other. Somehow, they both felt just like before, when they were at Hogwarts, planning their next adventure with James. And Peter. Remus tried to avoid mentioning him, still angry and bitter about all that Peter Pettigrew has done. Sirius didn't mind. Every time they mentioned him, Sirius would yell "Fuck Peter Pettigrew!" like those words could hurt Peter, even though he can't even hear them. It was his way of dealing with the frustration built inside of him.

Remus now stood in a place that should be in front of 12 Grimmaulds Place. He was anxious and nervous, but managed to hide it. Sirius was sitting on the concrete, right by his left side. He tapped the concrete with his front paws a few times, let out a squeal, and looked at Remus. Number 12 Grimmauld Place was now standing in front of them, hidden from the looks of the others, and Remus stared helplessly. Sirius was staring too, with all the bad memories that house held flowing through his mind.

"Let's go, you go first," Remus said, and let Sirius in front of him. The doors had no door knob, just that ugly serpent knocker. Remus tapped the door with his wand, carefully. The door opened, and Sirius got in the house first. Remus closed the door.

"Stay put, don't do anything yet," Remus said, and flicked his wand. " _Homenum Revelio_." Nothing happened. They were alone in that dingy, derelict building. Sirius turned into a man, pulling his wand out, just in case. Remus flicked his wand a few more times, but said no words. Jets of bright yellow, blue and orange flew from the tip of his wand, but nothing happened. It was safe.

"Well, apart from doxies, boggarts, and some other creatures, I guess we're alone," he was interrupted by a loud shriek.

"HOW DARE YOU ENTER HERE? BLOOD TRAITOR! HALF-BREED!" Walburga Black's portrait screamed. Sirius rolled his eyes, knowing exactly where the portrait is.

"NICE TO SEE YOU, MOTHER! IT'S BEEN ALMOST TWENTY YEARS, AND YOU ARE STILL YELLING LIKE THAT!" he yelled in the direction of the portrait. "Help me with that, would you?" he said, leading the way. They managed to draw the curtains over the portrait, and once Walburga was silent Sirius started to laugh.

"I can't believe that I'm back at this horrible place. If I could, I would burn it to the ground, leaving nothing out of it. And would probably piss on the ashes. But, this is the safest place for the headquarters," he took a deep breath, and the stench of the house made his face turn into a grimace.

"Let's check it out. It needs to be thoroughly cleaned, but I guess we could work it out," Remus said, his wand still in his hands. They did a quick tour around the house. Remus noticed Sirius' eyes getting wet when they opened his boyhood room. He didn't know what to say, so he just patted his friend's shoulder, leading him out of that room. Objects and pictures in the room held too many memories. They were good before, but now… It just felt wrong.

Doxies, boggarts, unusually big spiders… Everything Remus expected to find occupied the house, so he wasn't worried. With some help, they could clean it in a couple of weeks. They sat in the dining room, the one that became the main meeting place for the order. Sirius brought out some old, and really pricey firewhiskey from the cellar. His father loved good firewhiskey, and he had the money to buy whatever he pleased, so he filled the cellar with expensive wines for Walburga, and firewhiskeys for himself.

They were now drinking from crystal glasses, and Sirius remembered that those were his father's favourite. Suddenly, he wanted to smash them all. But he didn't.

"You know," Remus said silently, downing his third glass. "After you've been sentenced, Dumbledore sent me to pick up your belongings. Everything that was in that house your uncle Alphard gave you…"

"Uh-oh. He didn't give me the house. I only bought it with his money," he grinned.

"Well, yes. Anyway… I guess you would like your things back now."

"What do you mean?" Sirius asked confused. Actually, he did want his old things back. Mostly his flying motorbike, but he knew that's not possible. He couldn't use it anyway.

"Well, you will stay here, right? It's safe for you, whether you like it or not," Remus stated, and Sirius knew he was right.

"I guess… I never thought I'll be back. I thought I left this place forever, but now…" Sirius looked around. "It never felt like home, always like a prison. At least that's what I thought when I was little…" he downed his glass, pouring more liquor to both of them. "Even though, my mother knew how to make me feel terrible, and she did that easier than the Dementors. Can you imagine that?"

"No, I can't…" Remus felt bad. He was never in a presence of a Dementor for more than a few seconds, or minutes. He couldn't even dare to imagine what would happened to him, if he was the one who spent twelve years in Azkaban. "How did you do it, Padfoot?"

Sirius smiled, both not like he's amused.

"I wasn't guilty enough for them to destroy me. I am guilty of many things, but I guess none of them was enough for the Dementors. You know Bella's there too? She would scream that the Dark Lord will rise again. Well, she was always mental, but she sounded more sane there than ever. I guess because she didn't feel guilty at all. And I wasn't guilty of anything that Dementors could use, I guess. Except Peter… Fuck Peter Pettigrew!" he said, and clanked his glass at Remus'. They both downed their drinks again.

"You know, while I was there… I resented myself a lot of things," Sirius said, staring at his now empty glass. "But do you know what I resent to myself the most?"

Remus didn't want to ask. Well, he did, but he was afraid of the answer. The talk they had been postponed since last year caught them, and they couldn't avoid it anymore.

"I should never doubt you, Moony… Remus. I know the words now mean nothing, but I really am sorry," Sirius said, now staring at his friend. Remus looked at him too, and noticed that his grey fathomless eyes still got some spark in them.

"I just want to know why? Why would you ever think I would harm them? Why would you think I would betray them?" Remus asked, lifting himself up from the seat. He couldn't sit anymore, he was too nervous and twitchy. And Sirius' closeness bothered him at this moment. He wanted some space.

"I just… I'm ashamed of the words I'll say now, but they are the sad truth, and you deserve it. I thought that maybe you got into that underground werewolf lifestyle…"

"YOU WHAT?" Lupin yelled, clenching both of his fists. All the anger. All the pain. All that sat on his heart like a burden for the last fourteen years. With hearing those words… He just couldn't handle it anymore, he couldn't keep it in anymore.

"Moony, please… Calm down…"

"AFTER EVERYTHING YOU'VE SEEN… AFTER YOU'VE SEEN BITING PIECES OF MY OWN FLESH RATHER THAN DOING ANYTHING ELSE… AFTER ALL THOSE NIGHTS WE… YOU, ME, JAMES AND PETER…" Remus yelled, and he threw his glass in the wall right behind Sirius' head. "ME LIVING LIKE THEM? ARE YOU COMPLETELY DERANGED?"

Sirius never saw Remus like that. Not even after that Snape prank. He was scared now, because he felt that the truth he was holding for so long might ruin their friendship forever. He didn't want that, but he couldn't blame Remus if he did.

"HOW COULD YOU EVEN THINK I WOULD EVER TURN SIDES? I WOULD NEVER, NEVER DO THAT. YOU KNEW ME BETTER THAN THAT. YOU KNOW ME BETTER THAN THAT. OR MAYBE YOU DON'T BECAUSE IF YOU DID, YOU WOULD NEVER QUESTION MY MOTIVES," he was now charging straight at Sirius, and Sirius stood up. If Remus has the urge to beat him up, he'll let him do that. He understood his anger, and he was ashamed. Really ashamed.

"I know, I know all of that now… I wasn't thinking str…" Sirius was interrupted by Remus grabbing the front of his shirt, lifting him and pushing him into the wall.

"HOW COULD YOU, SIRIUS? WHY? AS FAR AS I KNOW, I NEVER DID ANYTHING THAT GAVE YOU ANY REASON TO DOUBT ME. WHAT DID I DO? ANSWER ME, SIRIUS," he shook Sirius, like Sirius was made of thin paper, and he smashed him into the wall again. "GIVE ME A REASON. ANYTHING. I DON'T WANT TO HEAR YOU ARE SORRY. I WANT EXPLANATION!"

"Well, I don't have it!" Sirius yelled back, right at Remus' face. And Remus let go of him with a loud groan, walking away on the other side of the room without a word, fuming.

"What do you want me to say, Moony, hm? I was trying to do the best thing. You were away with them all the time… You think it never crossed my mind how you cried all those nights before the full moon when we were children? You think it never crossed my mind how many times we slept in the hospital wing after the full moon, after bringing you there covered with your, and ours blood? You think it never crossed your mind that it was my mistake that led to James and Lily's death? They chose me, and I CHOSE PETER FUCKING PETTIGREW! Do you know how many times I thought how maybe you should be the secret keeper for them?"

"MAYBE I SHOULD HAVE BEEN! I WOULD'VE DIED FOR BOTH OF THEM, AND IF I HAVE TO I WILL DIE TO PROTECT HARRY! I HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE ANYWAY, VOLDEMORT WOULD KILL ME AND THEY WOULD STILL BE SAFE!" Remus was trembling, his nerves pulsing, and blood rushing through his veins.

"I KNOW AND I HATE MYSELF FOR DOING WHAT I DID, OKAY?" Sirius yelled, and collapsed on the chair nearby. His head was now in his hands, desperate to find reason in all that happened. Remus looked at his friend, and sat on the other side of the table, still nervous, but somehow he felt sorry for seeing Sirius like that. He felt the guilt Sirius' was feeling

"Do you know what made it worse? Last year. Last year in the Shrieking Shack when you mindlessly believed me, took my side, and until you turned… The last thought I had when the Dementors came… I just hoped that Harry will be okay, and I knew he would be because your heart is still as golden as it was the first day we stepped into that bloody castle," Sirius lifted his head, and looked at Remus on the other side of the room, and the table. "Nothing I can do could ever set this right, Moony. I know that now. I've had twelve years to think about all the things that happened. Yell at me, beat me to death… I don't care. I just want Harry safe, and for you to know how deeply sorry I am for ever doubting you. I hope you will at least try to forgive me for that, because I know I will never forgive myself."

Remus stared at him. This was the first time Sirius was so honest, and self-aware. He couldn't deny that Azkaban changed him. In a way Remus never thought it's possible.

"You know that night when James saved Snape? You were still gone, and he was furious at me. Peter was asking us to stop yelling, but he yelled at me just like you did now. Even worse. I will never forget what he said to me… That you're our friend, and that I'm plain stupid to ever compromise you to anyone. And that he is disappointed, because he thought I understood how bad you would feel if anything wrong happened. The only reason we became animagi was to keep you safe. It was the only time I was really afraid for our friendship. Because of you."

"What's your point, Sirius?" Remus felt like Sirius is picking at the fresh wound.

"My point is… James saw all the things I forgot fourteen years ago. Lily and him… they even suggested you, after I turned down their offer. But, I convinced them that Peter is a better choice. Once again, I was terribly wrong," Sirius' eyes filled with tears.

Remus said nothing. The words felt like knives, piercing his abdomen and turning his guts inside out. Lily and James wanted him to be their secret keeper…

"I was the biggest fool on this world to ever doubt you, Moony… As you said almost every day at Hogwarts, my rash actions get the best of me… And then, they got the best of me, and the best of us all too."

"You shouldn't blame yourself for their deaths…" Remus said silently. He knew Sirius is hurt, and he didn't want to hurt him even more. But he needed answers.

"Why shouldn't I, hm?"

They both stayed silent, and that lasted a couple of minutes. They drank some more firewhiskey, to ease the nerves.

"Why didn't you contact Harry? Not once, Remus? I understand you wanted to keep your distance, but I don't understand that you never even tried to get in touch with him," Sirius was now catching in the dark. He wasn't sure that Remus haven't contacted Harry, he just assumed.

"What good would he have with me in his life, hm?" Remus said, staring at the empty glass. They were still parted by the length of the table.

"Support? Someone who knew his parents? Someone to talk to? Come on, Remus, he was eager to live with me when he knew me for about a half an hour straight. He's miserable there, and I don't even want to know how his childhood looked like." Sirius could understand Remus' trying to stay physically away, but he couldn't understand not even writing him one letter.

"I was a mess, Sirius… I wasn't capable of living. I was lost, travelled a lot, tried to find a purpose to live… I thought about ending it all, but I couldn't. You know why? Because it would be so disrespectful to Lily and James who wanted to live, but that right was taken away from them. I would only make things worse for Harry… Just like I did last year."

"Stop pitying yourself, Remus. You're more than your lycanthropy. I said it once, at I stand by those words. You're more of a man than any of us," Sirius said, pouring himself another glass of liquor, and levitating the bottle right in front of Remus, who poured himself another glass too.

"Well, it is what it is, Sirius. I am sorry for not contacting Harry, but I still think he was better off without me. Just like everyone else," Remus said, and put down the bottle. Alcohol that was now boiling inside of him allowed him to say even more than he wanted to.

"Hah! No, we aren't. Don't be so thick. After you left for the undergrounds, everything fell apart. I'm sorry that our last conversation then ended like it did," Sirius said with regret filling his words. He really was sorry.

"You mean, you punching me straight in the face?"

"You still owe me that one."

"No I don't. Maybe I can't find a reason in your actions, but I do understand you didn't mean any harm. I'm just still bitter, I guess…" Remus said, and downed his drink. Sirius still hadn't touched his.

"You have every reason to be… I still don't understand why did you believe me without any proof? You believed me over Peter, and you had every reason to do just the opposite." Just like Remus wanted answers, Sirius did too. Maybe he just needed a closure, something to ease his soul, and feel better even for a moment. He downed his drink, slamming the glass on the table.

"The map. We maybe doubted ourselves, but no one can deny that what we did was perfect," Remus said strongly, and proudly. The map really was a success. The one they celebrated for three weeks.

"That old piece of ancient history?"

"Sirius… It never lies. I made sure of that. The moment I saw Peter's name on it… I knew. Don't ask me why or how, I just did. Why do you think I never told Dumbledore about you being an animagus? Even after everything, I couldn't believe you would really betray James and Lily. The fact that Peter was alive was the proof of what did happen, and what never did." Remus was now with the tears in his eyes. Even after all this time, he wasn't ashamed of his tears around Sirius. Just like he never was. Sirius looked him, and felt his heart breaking even more. He felt like the biggest idiot in the world. He stood up, and slammed his fist into the wall, yelling every curse word he could remember.

"I'm sorry, Moony, what more can I say?" he said, and reduced the distance between them. He was still a couple of feet away from Remus, who flinched.

"I know, Padfoot, I know you are. But I can't say anything to make you feel any better…" He said, lounging in his chair, crossing his arms on his chest.

"So what now, hm? I fucked up, alright, I know that. But if we're in this shit together, we mustn't doubt each other. I learned my lesson, Moony. I can't change what happened, even though I want that more than anything, but I can promise you it will never happen again. Want me to take the Unbreakable Vow? I will gladly do that if that would make you feel better. I was a fool, and unfortunately everybody paid the price for my foolishness."

Remus stared at Sirius. His jaw clenched, and he took a deep breath.

"You will always be my family, Sirius. My brother," he stood up, and walked straight to Sirius, hugging him. This time it wasn't an awkward hug. The tension between them was still there, but it was nothing like before. "And our other brother needs us now. James needs us to protect Harry. And if we're going to do that, we must leave past in the past."

"But Peter is not a brother of ours, alright? You know why?" Sirius said, and poured them another glass of liquor. He handed Remus one, and took the other.

"Because fuck Peter Pettigrew," Remus said, and they cheered for that.

"Wow, this made me realise something. I was a shitty brother to Regulus, and to you, obviously. If anything, I'm consistent in being shitty," Sirius said, and Remus looked at him for a second or two. Then they both burst into laughter.

"I missed you, Sirius, I really did…" Remus said still smiling, taking small breaths.

"I'm a prat, but I've always been a loveable one," Sirius said, glad to hear Remus laughing. Remus' yelling always terrified him because that meant that something is terribly wrong. He expected him to yell, but he couldn't help himself. "I have only one more question. I know you probably didn't want to see me, but I've been there for twelve years. Why didn't you come to visit me?"

"I couldn't. I wanted to… But I couldn't. Can't explain why." Remus said quietly, and Sirius decided to drop the topic.

"Alright then. Well, I really hope you are getting used to seeing me around, because I really hope you do understand you're gonna live here with me."

Remus raised his eyebrows in disbelief.

"What are you talking about, Sirius?"

"You are not going back into that cottage. It has a potential to become a nice place for a holiday, or maybe a romantic get away, if you maybe got yourself a lady, but you'll be living here from now on. Capisce?" Sirius was determined now. He never offered any help to Remus, because he knew he would refuse. But now, he wasn't giving him any choice. He had to accept. "And, to be honest, I would really hate to be alone in here. Too silent…"

"Yes, you know me. A real ladies man," Remus said sarcastically. "I guess we could do more together than apart."

"Yes!" Sirius claimed his victory, putting his both fists up in the air with some cheery movements.

"Although, we must contact Dumbledore first. I guess he will want to put some other enchantments. Maybe a Fidelius Charm?"

"Fine with me, but I won't be a secret keeper, and I don't want anything to do with picking one," Sirius said sharply, and took another look around the room. "I guess this will be my new prison. And I'm getting a werewolf roomate."

"Oh, I'm sorry if my furry little problem bothers you now. I guess the Dementors were better company than me," Remus mocked him, but he knew Sirius won't get mad.

"Furry little problem. Haven't heard that in a while. And, you at least talk, those Dementors are boring as fuck," Sirius let out another bark like laugh.

They left the house at once, and sent the letter to Dumbledore. He was delighted to hear the news, and he liked the idea of the two of them being there permanently. Sirius needed to be watched over. Even though he was a man, his mind was still too rash, too boyish. They met in the afternoon, and Dumbledore became the Secret Keeper. Both Remus and Sirius agreed with that, knowing that the secret really was safe this time. Moody put some more security enchantments, muttering to himself how you can't be too cautious about anything.

And just like that, in one day, the Order of the Pheonix got the new Headquarters, and Remus and Sirius were reunited again under the same roof. Moody volunteered to be the one to break the news to other Order members. They even set the date of the first meeting, July 10th. He left Tonks last on purpose, because he wanted to talk with her once more before she joins this mess. Even though he was showing no emotions, he cared about Tonks, and didn't want her to do anything rash. However, Tonks assured her old mentor that she understands all the risks, and that she really wants to join. Moody was happy to hear that, and Tonks was even more excited. It all became real when Moody came, and talked to her. And that made her want to be a part of it even more. She was so excited, and impatient. She just couldn't wait for the first meeting.

* * *

 _10_ _th_ _of July 1995_

And the day finally came. Tonks held a piece of paper that said: _The Headquarters of the Order of the Pheonix may be found at number twelve Grimmauld Place. London._ Easy enough. Mad-Eye warned her that the door has no knob, or handle, and that she just needs to tap it with her wand. She could do that. Tonks was nervous, and excited. The meeting was set at 6pm, and Moody told her that Molly Weasley will make a dinner for all of them, and that she could stay if she wanted to. She knew she will because she could never refuse Molly's food.

She took a shower before, and didn't know what to wear. She wanted to look serious, but not stuck up. Her hair will definitely be pink tonight, it gave her extra confidence boost. It was almost time to go, and she was still indecisive about her clothing. The decision fell on yellow summer dress with little flowers, leather jacket, bunch of necklaces, and her combat boots, of course. Before she left, she looked at herself once again in the mirror, and was pleased with the way she looked. She apparated just around the corner of her building, and found herself in front of the Headquarters.

She was a bit confused with the look of the building, and the concealment charm. She burned the piece of paper Moody gave her, took a deep breath, and tapped the door with her wand. "You can do it! You're not even late. Just try not to make a fool out of yourself. Don't trip over anything!" The thoughts were buzzing inside of her head, as she entered the house. She closed the door, and looked around. She saw the light at the end of the hallway, and heard people talking. Someone laughed really hard, and sounded like a dog. "Maybe that's Sirius Black!" Tonks thought, and started moving in that direction. "You got this, you got this," she repeated the mantra to herself. Just a few more steps… Damn it! One of her boots tangled in the ancient rug that covered the floor, and she tripped over the most hideous umbrella stand she'd ever see.

But she didn't fall face flat on the floor. Instead, her head was buried in something soft. Wool? Who the hell wears wool around here? Chocolate, green tea, and old books? She felt someone's palm circling her wrist, and the other hand on her back.

"I got you," she heard the words said by silent husky voice, and looked up. Her eyes met Remus Lupin's, and he helped her straighten up. She felt her cheeks burning. Was she blushing? "Uh-oh, not today," she thought, and morphed the blush out of her face, still staring at Remus' face, and his scars.

"Thank you, I'm… Catastrophe on two feet? That's what Moody said to me the first day of my Auror training," she smiled shyly, her lame joke might make her feel a bit less embarrassed. Remus smiled at her lightly, and held out his arm.

"I'm Remus Lupin, a bit chaotic myself, too," he accepted her joke, and she accepted his hand.

"Tonks, nice to meet you," she smiled at him, as they shook hands. "What is this place?"

"Ah, I guess you don't really know your mother's side of the family," he smirked. "It is, well it was, the residence of the Black family, Sirius' parents. He owns it now, and well…"

He was interrupted by Moody, standing at the dining room's entrance.

"I heard something tumbling, I instantly knew that was you," his real eye looked straight at Tonks, and the magical one looked at Remus. "Nice to see you, lass. Now move it, Dumbledore will be here any minute, and the meeting is starting." Moody said, and moved from the entrance, inviting Tonks in. She looked at Remus, who was chuckling.

"After you," he said, and followed her.

The room was fairly occupied. She noticed Molly Weasley charming some dishes, and Arthur Weasley stealing some pastries behind her back. She went to greet Molly, who was delighted to see her. She informed her that Bill and Charlie will not be coming tonight. Then she listed all the Order's members who were present: Dedalus Diggle, Emmeline Vance, Remus Lupin, Sturgis Podmore, Hestia Jones, Sirius Black, Moody, Kingsley Shacklebolt, and of course, Dumbledore, whose arrival they all expected. She noticed Remus sitting right from the front of the table, and the spot on the front was empty. She didn't notice anyone who could be Sirius Black. Kingsley gave her a small nod, and continued talking with Moody, Podmore, and Diggle. She noticed Hestia Jones talking to Emmeline Vance. They were all normal, and she felt just like in the Aurors Office.

"I like to observe things from the distance first, too," Tonks jumped at the sound of the voice that came behind her. Sirius sneaked on her coming from the kitchen. She turned, and was now face to face with the man whose face was literally everywhere. Sirius Black.

"Oh my… Sirius Black. You scared the shit out of me," she tried to act cool. He wasn't a murderer, or mental, so why should she be afraid of him? And he was once her mother's favourite cousin.

"Hah! I can see Andy's temper in you. Kingsley told me he told you about…well, me" Sirius said, putting his hands on his hips, looking really haughty.

"He did. Even though, I figured some parts of it by myself," she bragged a bit, but she really was proud of herself for figuring it all out.

"Smart girl! And thank you for getting my wand. You owe me the whole story when this meeting is over." Sirius said, and smiled at Tonks, who now had her mischievous grin on, proud of herself for stealing from the Ministry. "So, have you picked the place to sit, or may I invite you to sit by my left? You can see old Moony took the right side." Tonks was surprised with the nickname, but she knew exactly who Sirius was talking about.

"Ummm…" she looked at Remus fiddling with his glass, now engaged in the conversation with Moody who was sitting to his right. "Sure!" She said before she even thought twice. She felt pulled, like a magnet. The feeling made her nervous, so she started to bite her lower lip. Sirius ignored that, and said.

"Well, come then."

They walked across the dining room, and she placed herself on the chair that was meant for her. Sirius will be on her right, Kingsley on her left, and Remus… What was so special about that man? She felt tempted to study every bit of his face, he felt familiar, yet mysterious. She touched her wrist, the one he touched, without even realising it. Her thoughts were interrupted with Albus Dumbledore entering the room, and Severus Snape was right behind him. She flinched, and didn't notice that Sirius indeed noticed her looking at Remus. But when Sirius noticed Snape, he muttered something that apparently only Remus could understand, and hear because he suppressed his laughter so obviously.

"Good evening, my dear Order," Dumbledore said, taking his place on the other end of the table. Snape took the place on his right, and Tonks was happy that she didn't sit with Emmeline and Hestia because then Snape would be too close. She didn't like him, he was too stuck up, and no fun at all. "I see our new members are here as well. I guess you all met Hestia," Hestia Jones nodded, and smiled stiffly. "And if your eyes is working properly, you must've at least notice Nymphadora," Tonks flinched at the sound of her name. She felt so embarrassed, but managed to smile, and nod. She noticed Remus smiling at her, but she lowered her look, and started to fidget with her sleeves. If anyone else said here name, and introduced her like that, she would protest so loudly.

"Now, I would like to open this meeting. Severus here took the liberty of planning Harry's guard, so I will give my word to him," Dumbledore sat, and Snape was now standing. While he presented the schedule of Harry's guard, Sirius whispered to Tonks.

"I'm kind of glad to be stuck in here just because Snape can't order me around."

Tonks choked from suppressing her laughter, accidentally kicking Remus in the shins with her boot. He turned to her, and she mouthed the apology. Of course she's just done that. Snape finished what he had to say, and Tonks noticed Remus being nervous. Snape didn't put him on the schedule, and he wasn't pleased with it, but Tonks didn't know that.

"Thank you Severus," Dumbledore said. "If I'm not wrong Alastor made a list of all those who could help Voldemort, or do his bidding," Tonks noticed both of the Weasleys flinch hard on the sound of Voldemort's name. Charlie had the same reaction. Of course, Tonks knew about Molly's brothers, and she understood their reaction. "And Severus here paired you all up. It's not wise to do anything alone now. When you have a guard duty, Arabella will help you, and that's the only exception. I hope that soon enough, we will have the schedule for monitoring the Death Eaters. Alastor, Severus, can I count on you?"

Both men nodded silently, and the meeting went on. Moody was just giving his thorough report about the potential Death Eaters, but Tonks couldn't concentrate. She wanted to know with whom is she paired. Charlie was in Romania, and Bill was still working at Gringotts, so she eliminated them both from her mental possibility list. Sirius was obviously not coming out of the house. She thought and thought… If she had to pick someone it would be Remus. Wait, what? Her own mind surprised her. And again, she didn't notice that she was eyeing him all the time…

Remus was, however, carefully listening to Moody's words. But his look wasn't fixed. From time to time, when Tonks was staring at her sleeves in her lap, he would take a small glance at her. She looked so fresh, and she radiated… When he looked at her, he would feel so warm. She felt so familiar, and yet they just really met. He was too surprised by his actions, but decided to act tough. He decided in his head that it must be because the full moon is in two days, so his mind or his body aren't working like usual.

The meeting wasn't long, more like planning what to do. Molly made a dinner, and all of the Order, except Snape, stayed to eat the delicious meal. Kingsley introduced Tonks properly to Dedalus Diggle, and Emmeline Vance. Tonks small talked with almost everyone after the dinner, and she felt so much better. The warmness filled her soul, and she was feeling like she belonged. For the first time. However, they all went speechless when she morphed into Mad-Eye, just for the laughs. Even Mad-Eye laughed, and asked her to give him his nose back.

One by one, members left the building. Tonks, Sirius, Remus, and Kingsley were now the only one sitting in the dining room now. Tonks went to the kitchen to get something sweet, and Remus, not really sure why, followed her right when she disappeared. He felt pulled, like a magnet. He was now standing, leaned on the door frame, his hands crossed on his chest. He watched her silently for a second, her pink locks jumping as she tried to find something for her sugar craving.

"Try that cabinet," he said, and pointed his finger. She looked at him a bit surprised, but she opened the cabinet he was pointing, and found three chocolate bars.

"Yes! Thank you. I would probably never find them," she said, and opened the chocolate.

"It was my intention, actually, to keep them safe from Sirius. Just like I locked his father's firewhiskey," Remus chuckled.

"So, you don't like to share your chocolate?" Tonks asked, but she figured how stupid that sounded because she was just eating his chocolate.

"Well, I must admit I don't, but I do understand a bad sugar craving," he said calmly, looking amused.

"And that's how you lost your chocolate, professor Lupin," she smiled, winked at him, and took some more chocolate. Right when she winked, she figured what she's done, and felt like an idiot.

"I'm not a professor, not anymore. It just wasn't meant to be," Lupin said with sadness in his voice, but managed to smile a little.

"Why were you sacked? I mean, I didn't hear anything, and you seem like a good professor. You can't be worse than Snape! So, what did you do?" Tonks was curious, and Remus chuckled again.

"Ahh… I will not comment on his teaching methods, in a respect for Dumbledore. But I guess he is more fitted to be a professor than I am," his voice was hoarse, and silent. Tonks noticed the sadness that filled his eyes, and felt bad. She walked up to him, and teared one row of the chocolate.

"I really, really doubt that. And Snape thought me, so I would know. But you look like you are too sad to share your chocolate, so take some," she stuffed the chocolate row in his mouth before he managed to say anything. He was now chewing the chocolate with the smile on his face. It really did make anyone feel better. The moment was interrupted by a loud noise coming from the hallway. They heard what sounded like the front door being slammed. Tonks jumped, and left the chocolate on the counter, as they both took out their wands. And then they heard Sirius yelling.

"Moony, help!"

They rushed up the stairs, and were now on the dining room's door, looking at the front door. Snape was standing there, looking even more uncomfortable than ever before. He said something to Kingsley, who was now heading out. Sirius was kneeling on the ground, and was holding something wrapped in Snape's black robe. Snape too kneeled on the ground. Remus rushed by his friend's side, and Tonks followed. When Remus was standing right behind Sirius, he noticed that Sirius was holding a woman. Red haired woman. Tonks noticed it too, and she knew her. Well, she knew about her.

"Sirius… Help me…" Gwen said right before passing out.

"Moony, Regulus' room… Quick." Sirius said, turning to his friend. Remus jumped, and ran up the stairs. He knew what Sirius meant, and they did clean Regulus' room after all. Tonks was still standing frozen. Sirius stood up, carrying Gwen like a baby in his arms, trying not to lose his balance.

"Black… You're too weak," Snape said, and made a hand movement that was supposed to mean that he will carry Gwen.

"No, I can handle this," he said panting, and carried Gwen up the stairs. Snape was now the one standing frozen.

"Excuse me, but will you explain to me what just happened?" Tonks asked him.

"She was attacked. Hit with a couple of bad curses, I guess," Snape tried to calm his breathing.

"Who is she? Tell me now, I've seen you talking to her at the Triwizard Tournament, and I know she was involved in that mess somehow…" Tonks demanded answers. Snape didn't like that, but he appreciated her determination.

"Her name is Gwen, and she lives in Hogsmeade. If there's anything else about her that you need to know, you will have to find out some other way," Snape cut her off, and walked upstairs too.

Tonks was now standing in the hallway alone. This meeting just became everything she didn't expect, but she was kind of thrilled. Her mind was working overtime now, but she had only one question, and she even said it out loud.

"What. The. Fuck. Just. Happened?"

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... This was supposed to be two chapters, but nope :3
> 
> What happened to Gwen? (Everything happened to her, that's the only answer!)
> 
> And will Sirius behave around Snape? And Snape around Sirius... DRAMA! alert
> 
> Will Remus share his chocolate ever again?
> 
> And will anyone explain Tonks what the F-inng F is going on?
> 
> Coming soon; Gwen's tale, and Remus Lupin being impressed and seriously smitten (he's obviously already amused!), so stay tuned!
> 
> P.S. don't forget to let me know what you think!
> 
> xx


	7. Gwen's tale

_10_ _th_ _of July 1995_

Remus was the first one who entered the room which belonged to the Sirius' younger, and now late, brother Regulus. He was even a bit surprised by the wave of energy flowing through his body. The full moon was in two days, and usually he wasn't that agile. It must've been the adrenaline. He pulled the sheeted duvet from the bed, making a place for Gwen in there. He waved his hand, not saying a single word. The room was now free of dust, and was looking cleaner and cosier than before. He could do that better with his wand, but this was easier. Remus knew a lot of useful household spells because of his transformations.

He heard steps from the stairway, and right when he turned he saw Sirius entering the room, carrying Gwen's limp body. Sirius told him the story about being attacked, and Gwen saving him. By the colour of Gwen's hair, he assumed that must be her. Remus removed himself from Sirius' way, and Sirius gently put Gwen on the bed. Right then, another person entered the room. Snape. Without a look at Remus, Snape got to Gwen, pushing Sirius aside.

"Excuse me, Snivellus, but you can at least show some respect. This is my house," Sirius said through his gritted teeth.

"I don't have time for your complexes, Black," Snape said, trying to find Gwen's pulse.

"And what are you doing? If you don't have some potion to make her feel better, then you're pretty much useless, as always. She needs a healer, not a bloody potion pillock," Sirius was fuming.

"Sirius, calm down…" Remus tried to intervene, but Snape interrupted him.

"Oh, and you will help her how? We can't take her to St Mungo's… I guess you really don't know anything about her," Snape was now scoffing at Sirius, and Sirius was looking like he will punch Snape right in the face. Remus grabbed Sirius by his upper arm. Precaution.

"Don't lose your temper, Sirius," Remus strengthened his grip.

"Then get Molly, she is the best healer out of all of us in the Order," Sirius said, thinking fast. He was not a fool, as Kingsley once said, but his rashness often got the best of him.

"I will go, and get Dumbledore," Snape said. "He must be informed about everything happening here."

"Right," Remus said, and started walking towards the door. "One more question, Severus. How did you bring her in? Dumbledore told her about the house?"

Snape now looked at Remus surprised.

"I was right, even though you are a werewolf you are the smartest one. No, he didn't. But, he gave me this," Snape pulled out the paper out of his pocket. "In a case of an emergency. And I consider this an emergency."

"For once, I agree with Snivellus, for fuck's sake…" Sirius muttered mostly to himself.

"Riiight," Remus said, and left.

Snape and Sirius now stared at each other with hatred, but decided to put that away in this situation.

"Even though I don't trust you one bit, Black, she apparently does. I can't even imagine why, or how, because I know she's not mental. She asked to be brought to you," Snape said, trying to humiliate Sirius. "And this house is the safest place for now." Snape said, looked at Gwen once again, and pulled out an ebony wand. Sirius knew that wasn't Snape's wand.

"This is hers," he placed it on the nightstand, and left leaving Sirius alone with her.

Sirius was now by her bedside, and he removed Snape's robes from her gently. He didn't like anything Snape's, so he made a grimace, like it was a natural reaction. He threw the robes on the floor on purpose, and looked at Gwen. Her summer dress was damaged, and she looked so frail. Her hair was a mess, and she had a few little cuts on her face. But she was breathing. And Sirius thanked to whoever-the-fuck controls that kind of things.

Remus came downstairs to find Tonks still standing in the hallway.

"I would say something to you, Tonks, but I really don't know what happened," he wanted to apologise, but realised he has nothing to apologise for.

"It's alright, Snape told me her name is Gwen, and that she lives in Hogsmeade," Tonks said, crossing her arms on her chest.

"I thought so, Sirius told me about her…" he didn't even managed to finish his sentence when he heard Snape.

"I don't see Molly Weasley here, so I advise you to stop your chit-chat, and get her," he said, opened the front door, and left.

"Right, I must get Molly," Remus said.

"Want me to tag along? I don't have nothing else to do anyway…" Tonks asked. She wanted to help, and to prove herself as useful to Remus. Not really sure why.

"If you want to," Remus said, and opened the front door, letting Tonks out before himself.

"Thank you," she said when Remus joined her on the first step at the entrance of Grimmauld Place. He smiled at her, and lifted his arm waiting for her to hold him, so he could apparate them together.

"I know how to apparate, Lupin," Tonks said annoyed by his movement.

"Of course you do, but I think it's easier this way. You can lead, if you want to, it's fine with me," he lowered his hand, and put it on her shoulder. "And please, don't call me Lupin, Nymphadora."

Tonks flinched, looked at him eyes wide open, her hair morphing agressively red. He was shocked at the sight of her morphing.

"Don't. Call me. Nymphadora!" Tonks said looking really, really annoyed.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Remus said. "No Lupin, and no Nymphadora then. Lead the way, Tonks." She smiled at him, morphed her hair pink again, and apparated them near the Burrow.

"How did you do that? The hair thing…" Remus asked, while they were walking from the apparating spot. He was kind of impressed with her doing that.

"Sirius never told you?" Tonks was surprised, she always thought that Sirius told everyone about her abilities. "Look."

She stopped, and he turned to look at her. She morphed her hair to look exactly like his. His eyes were wide open, staring at her. He didn't like to look at himself in the mirror, so why on Earth would he enjoy seeing her with his hair?

"Metamorphmagus," Tonks said, shaking her head, morphing her hair in magenta pink. "It's cool, but it can be a burden, too."

"Wow! That was… Brilliant, but don't ever do that again," he was still amazed, so she smiled at him.

"It's funny how everyone have a different reaction when I do that," Tonks said. "Kingsley was impressed, and wanted me to morph into Mad-Eye just for the laughter."

"That must've been a scene to see," Remus smiled widely now. He was quite surprised by his own behaviour around Tonks, but decided to convince that it's all just a coincidence. Nothing to worry about, he is just friendly to someone who just joined the Order.

When they reached the Burrow, they told Molly what they knew. It wasn't much, but she didn't really need any convincing. In a matter of minutes, they were back at Grimmauld Place, and Molly was tending Gwen while Sirius joined Remus, and Tonks in the Black's drawing room. Sirius filled Tonks in about what he knew about Gwen, and how she saved his life. When Tonks heard her surname, she instantly remembered why was she so interesting to her. She knew her from Hogwarts. Gwen Doherty, the one that transferred from Durmstrang. They turned to some lighter topics, like making fun of Snape, which Remus' still didn't approve, but he smiled at Tonks' and Sirius' impressions.

They heard someone entering the house, and all of them rushed to the ground floor. They found Dumbledore, and Snape in the hallway.

"Ah, there you are," Dumbledore said calmly. "Severus informed me about the misfortune that happened to Miss Doherty. And I would like to have a few words with her, if she is awake."

"We don't really know. Molly is with her now," Sirius said, trying to control himself. He didn't know what happened, and it became clear that neither Snape, or Dumbledore will tell him. "They're in the Regulus' room." Sirius removed himself from Dumbledore's way, so that he could go upstairs.

"Thank you, Sirius," he said while passing by him, and Snape followed him. "Severus, I would like to have a word with Miss Doherty alone, if you don't mind. It won't take long, so if you may, wait for me here. We still have some things to discuss."

Dumbledore went upstairs, and Snape said nothing. Still, his face expression revealed his thoughts. He looked at Sirius, Tonks, and Remus, rolled his eyes, and went to wait in the dining room. The trio walked upstairs again, and they met Molly in the first floor hallway.

"She's alright, and awake," Molly informed them. "And quite charming, even though she cursed much in Bulgarian, I think."

Even though all of them were glad to hear that, Sirius was looking most relieved by hearing the news.

"Thank you Molly," he said, and squeezed her hands in gratitude.

"Don't even mention it. Is Snape somewhere here? Gwen asked me to tell him she's alright, and I guess he will want to know what to brew for her recovery."

"He's in the dining room, waiting for Dumbledore," Tonks said, standing there still confused about all what happened. She decided that she will definitely stay a bit longer to find out what happened.

"Thank you, Tonks, I will talk to Snape, and then I will be going home. Arthur is waiting for me," Molly said with emphasis on saying her last name. "It was nice to see you today. " She smiled at Tonks, hugged her, and went downstairs. The trio decided to settle in the drawing room again. Sirius' room was on the fourth floor, just like Regulus'. Remus took one of the rooms on the third floor, which had another more bedroom, and a library. Sirius mocked Remus because he chose the room right next to it.

"So, Nymphie…" Sirius tried to finish his sentence, but was interrupted.

"Don't call me anything that even resembles my horrible first name. Tonks is fine. Anything, but my first name is fine!" her hair turned red again.

"Alright, alright," he said, lifting his arms in surrender. He and Remus sat on the same couch, while Tonks was sitting across them alone. Remus smiled at Tonks' reaction amused.

"Now when I warned both of you about it, you may continue," Tonks lounged into the couch, and Sirius looked at Remus confused.

"Just ask her what you wanted to, Padfoot," Remus shook his head, still grinning.

"Right. How did you obtain my wand again?" Sirius asked, now focused on Tonks, who started laughing.

"Kingsley helped. I never heard him cursing the Ministry so much! I think he said "Fuck that plonker Fudge" at least fifty times. It was hilarious!" she lounged even more, laughing. "You see, it was well kept. With all the other wands from the Death Eaters. I morphed into a cleaning witch, who usually cleans that floor. Kingsley confunded her, and later convinced her she's already cleaned there. It doesn't need to be cleaned every day, anyway. So, I went in, grabbed it, and went out. Just when we thought we've done a perfect crime, we noticed Scrimgeour looking at us suspiciously. But Kingsley managed to get rid of him, and I got away, pretending to be that cleaning witch. When we told Moody what we did, he laughed for about half an hour, and said that we didn't need to do all of that, that both of us are nutters. But you know him, constant vigilance, and all of that." Tonks did her funny hand movement, as she did always when she said that. She didn't do it in front of Mad-Eye, though.

"I can't believe it! An Auror who leads my investigation, and my baby cousin breaking at least ten laws!" Sirius laughed hard, and Remus was silently chuckling.

"Thirteen, I checked!" Tonks said, bursting into laughter with both Sirius and Remus.

* * *

When Dumbledore entered the room, Gwen was surprised, but she somehow expected Snape to do that. He often said that it would be wise for her to talk to Dumbledore, but she didn't really want to. Not because she didn't like him, but because she didn't want anyone to know anything about her. Snape appreciated her wishes, but warned her that he will tell him if anything serious happens. And well, someone's trying to get her. With Snape, she didn't have a choice. He knew much by himself, and she fainted in front of him, giving him the prophecy about the chamber of secrets. Unfortunately, Snape realised it too late, when Harry, Ron and Lockhart already went in there. Dumbledore asked Molly something quietly, and she left the room.

"Good evening, Miss Doherty. I must say I hoped we will meet again in far more fortunate circumstances,"

"Professor Dumbledore," she said, and straighten herself up, leaning on the bed's back board.

"No, don't get up, hold your strength. I don't have much time. Severus told me what happened today. He also told me quite the interesting tale about you," Dumbledore was calm as always, and he was now looking above his spectacles, straight at Gwen.

"Well, knowing him, everything he told you is the truth. And I don't know who attacked me today, but I guess they were the Death Eaters," Gwen's voice was cracking, but she wasn't afraid.

"I see. You know, when your mother asked me to accept you at Hogwarts once more, I didn't think even for a minute. Even though you've never told me, I am aware of your talents. I am, I must admit, a bit sad you haven't come to me earlier," Dumbledore sat on the end of the bed. Gwen fell silent, thinking about all the times Snape told her to speak to Dumbledore. Her mother trusted him, and Snape did too. And those two were two most cautious people about their trust.

"Your mother visited me a month before her tragic disappearance. She asked me to keep an eye on you. You see, she believed you were in danger because of your father's activities after he became one of the Unspeakables."

"You mean Death Eaters. I'm not a student anymore, professor. I know what my father was. Don't even bother sugar coating it."

"Ah, Miss Doherty, I never doubted you knew the truth. However, I told your mother that help will always be given at Hogwarts to those who ask for it, so I asked Severus to look out for you. And I must admit, I admired your influence on him."

Gwen was silent again. She didn't want to discuss Snape with Dumbledore. Even though she knew he did what he thought it was best, she was a bit angry at him for telling Dumbledore. But that'll have to wait for now. She will deal with Snape later.

"Don't misunderstand me, please. I advise you to stay here for a while. It is the safest place I can provide for you, and I think both Sirius and Remus will enjoy having you around. You can leave if you want to, but I would be much happier with you staying here. Your mother did a lot of things to protect you. Even though you know many things, there are always more to it. And I guess that you, as a true Hogwarts Ravenclaw, understand that too."

Dumbledore lifted himself from her bed.

"What about my house? And my things?" Gwen asked, admitting Dumbledore and Snape both are right. She is not safe on her own in Hogsmeade.

"Your house is very well protected, as Severus explained to me. I myself can't even see it, or visit it. I guess that charm you put was one of the protective spells they use in Durmstrang," he said curiously, giving her a light smile. Gwen smiled back, and nodded. He was right, she learned the spell in Durmstrang. No one can see or visit her house if she doesn't lead them to it, if she doesn't want them to, or if she's forced to reveal it. It's been quite similar to the Fidelius charm, only she didn't need a secret keeper.

"I will talk to Remus to escort you to Hogsmeade. Knowing Molly, you will be as good as new until morning. I think you two will get along nicely," Dumbledore smiled again at Gwen. "Take your time to heal, Miss Doherty. I will speak to you again soon, I hope."

"Thank you, professor. Can I ask you a favour? Please ask Sirius to come here? I owe him an explanation…"

"Ah yes, Sirius… Of course I will."

"And don't call me Miss Doherty, Gwen is fine."

"I'm afraid I cannot agree with that. You see, I don't like calling people by nicknames. And Gwendolyn is such a beautiful name." Dumbledore said, turned, and left Gwen alone. She had to talk to Sirius, but she was nervous about it. More nervous than she usually got in this kind of situations.

Dumbledore found the trio in the drawing room easily since Tonks' morphing made Sirius roll in his bark laughter. When Dumbledore entered the room, all of them tried to suppress their laughter.

"I appreciate a good laugh, don't suppress it. And I'm delighted to see both of you," he pointed at Sirius and Remus, "laughing like that. However, I came to tell you three things. Firstly, someone will need to accompany Miss Doherty to Hogsmeade tomorrow, or the day after that. She will gather her belongings, and she will stay here, if you, Sirius, don't mind." Dumbledore said calmly, and Sirius nodded in agreement. "Remus, can I count on you?"

"I'm sorry, Albus, but I can't," Remus said quietly. Tonks still didn't know about his lycanthropy, and he didn't want her to find out that way. Snape did start a rumour when he was teaching at Hogwarts, but the rumour stayed in the circles of Slytherin students' parents. Not really Tonks' circle of friends, or people. Dumbledore looked at him, and understood the hint.

"Pardon me, I forgot to check… Nymphadora, can I count on you then?" Dumbledore switched his look at Tonks now, who was a bit distracted with Remus' refusing to do something for Dumbledore. She didn't think that was possible in the Order.

"Yes, of course," she said with a smile on her face. Her first Order task. Her wish to find out more about Gwen grew larger. Who is she if she needed to be escorted?

"Thank you very much. Knowing your mentor so well, I don't need to give you any instructions." Dumbledore winked at Tonks, and she was amused to see the old man so relaxed, but still authoritative. "Secondly, Sirius, I assume Severus told you how he brought Gwen here. I made this for you because it's proven useful," he handed Sirius a few pieces of paper, all of them with the same writing. The same as Tonks got from Mad-Eye. "I advise you to think twice before using it, and to be very careful."

"I will put it in my room, I have my hiding places there that not even Kreacher knows of," Sirius said, and nodded at Dumbledore.

"Ah, yes. You may go do that right now, and after that please go and visit Miss Doherty. She asked to speak with you, and that's the third thing I must say to you. Severus and myself will see ourselves out. Take care." Dumbledore said, turned, and left. Sirius immediately charged towards his bedroom, leaving Tonks and Remus alone in the drawing room.

"Well… I guess we're not invited to that rendezvous," Tonks said looking at Sirius running.

"I guess not," Remus said with his hands in his pockets. "Fancy a cup of tea? I would really like some after all of this…"

"Yes, but only if you have fruit tea. I hate herbal ones," Tonks said, frowning. She was glad to be invited to stay longer than expected. This way she will maybe find out what happened here. And she will definitely have a chance to talk with this Gwen woman while escorting her.

"Hm, I myself fancy the herbal ones, but I think I will find something for you too," Remus smiled at Tonks, pulled his hand out of his pockets, and gestured towards the doors. "After you then."

Tonks was a bit amused to be treated like that. He was a true gentleman no doubt. They descended into the kitchen, and waited for Sirius to come back. They talked about her work as an Auror, and his time teaching at Hogwarts. Small talk, but it was a pleasant conversation. Meanwhile, Sirius secured the paper stack Dumbledore gave him, and was now standing in front of the door of Regulus' room. He opened it slowly, and saw Gwen still leaned with her back on the bed's backboard.

"Hey," she said quietly.

"Are you alright?" he closed the door, and sat on the bed right next to her legs. She was clean now, Molly really did her best. But she was still in her summer dress, pale, and frail.

"I've been better, but Molly is a lovely woman. She is really nice, and warm," Gwen smiled.

"She is, yes," Sirius was glad to see her awake, but he still was confused and wanted answers. He didn't want to pry, though.

"I owe you an explanation, and I really am sorry about what happened tonight," she started to fidget her with her fingers, lowering her look, escaping his.

"You don't have to apologise. I heard you asked Snape to bring you to me. How did you know where I was? Why would you even mention me to Snape"

"Well… I know Severus is tight with Dumbledore, and that Dumbledore protects you. If you're in hiding, with You-Know-Who coming back… I guessed, and I was right," Gwen lifted her look.

"Is it because I owe you? Because I would help you either way."

"No… Nothing like that. Look… What I am about to tell you is not easy for me. I haven't done it a while now. I hope you will understand things about me a bit better after it, and you were always honest with me. You deserve the same from me, too."

Sirius nodded, without a word.

"My full name is Gwendolyn Lysenkova Doherty. My father was Cyril Doherty, and my mother was Anastasya Lysenkova. She is Bulgarian, but she was born and raised here in Britain. I was born here, too. Both of them are pureblood. My father's family is one of the oldest Irish pureblood families, just like yours is here. My mother got pregnant with me during my father's seventh year at Hogwarts. She was then in her fifth year, so she managed to take her O.W.L.s, and she left Hogwarts after that. I think she's a first Ravenclaw to do so, at least she joked like that. I was born in the summer of 1968. My father worked with Goblins most of my childhood, so we travelled a lot. Until my seventh year of life, we lived in New York, Moscow and Paris. That's how I got to Woodstock in 1969, my mother was quite a hippie."

"Wow, this seems so much. You were concieved at Hogwarts? Nice," Sirius commented, and Gwen smiled.

"I'm afraid that's only the beginning. My father met the Lestrange brothers in Paris. You know them, of course, since one of them is married to your cousin Bellatrix. They introduced him to You-Know-Who's ideas… In a matter of months, he switched, changed. He wanted my mother, and him to join… That. My parents argued about it a lot, until one day my father came home telling that he is leaving us, and that he will work for the Ministry as the Unspeakable. Of course, that wasn't entirely true. He joined the Death Eaters, and you know the connections they had. They needed him there, so he got a job. When my mother refused, he was furious, but he left. He left us. That was the last time I saw him… He traded my mother, and me for… that!" Gwen's eyes were now filling with tears, and Sirius moved closer to her, tapping her leg in a sign of comfort. It was a bit awkward, but he still wasn't sure how to act around people.

"I didn't know that then. I assume my mother did, but we didn't talk about him much after that. She changed. You see, they loved each other like two nutters. Both of them were… different before. When my father left… She just changed, grew colder. We packed and moved to Sofia the next day, at my grandparents. They died when I was nine, don't really remember that period. When I got my Hogwarts letter, my mother was so reluctant, but Dumbledore assured her that I will be safe at Hogwarts. She bought that Hogsmeade house to be close to me all the time. She spent all of her inheritance on that house… You see, she was a magizoologist, so she could work from anywhere after she did her research. We did that over the school breaks… I've had a friend at Hogwarts, Polly. She was in Hufflepuff, muggleborn. I'm not much of a people person, but Polly understood that, and I was so glad to have her," One tear fell down Gwen's cheek, and she removed it with her hand, and lowered her head.

"Gwen, you don't have to tell me this if it's too much for you…" Sirius was uncomfortable, and didn't know how to react, or what to do. He tried to find her eyes, but her head was so low that he only saw two tears falling from her cheeks.

"No, no, I'm fine… It's just… emotions," Gwen lifted her head, sighed loud, and was looking straight at Sirius now. "Everything was great, until 1981 came. Yes, that year hasn't only change your life. It changed mine as well… My mother and I decided to stay at Hogsmeade for the summer, and on the day of my 13th birthday she came home so distressed. She was speaking so incoherently, about You-Know-Who, prophecies… I even think I heard her saying my father's name, something she never did… I was shocked, but my mother wasn't someone who accepted no for an answer. Anyway, we moved to Bulgaria again. In one day, I had to pack, and leave everything behind. It was hard, and I didn't want to, but I knew I can't go against my mother. She even transferred me to Durmstrang. I hated it there. Everything is so cold, so distant. Like living with…" She stopped herself before saying what she meant to say, realising it who is she speaking to.

"The Dementors? Highly doubt that, but go on," Sirius placed one of his legs on her bed, and the other one was dangling in the air. His hand was still placed on Gwen's leg, giving her small rubs when her voice cracked, or when she took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry, but it was awful. Really awful. Cold, filled with dark magic. Everything opposite of Hogwarts. But I decided to learn everything I could there. It's different than Hogwarts, you see. If you want to prove yourself, you have to work hard, and learn something others don't know. But my mother was becoming more, and more paranoid with every day. When Harry survived, and the Potters got killed, she was out of her mind. You see, my father was mental for Voldemort. Something like Bellatrix… I didn't understand that then, but I know it now. And my mother was afraid for me… My father knew I'm a seer, and since Trelawney gave that prophecy… You see where I'm going?" She asked, trying to make it easier for her. Sirius once again nodded in agreement. "So I stayed at Durmstrang. My mother thought it's safer because of the secrecy around its location. She lived in Sofia, doing her researches all over Romania, Bulgaria, Greece... She really went anywhere she could, never staying long in one place." Gwen smiled at the memory of her mother sending her trinkets from her travels. Sirius smiled lightly too.

"However, my father was arrested, and he died in Azkaban in 1983…"

"He was in Azkaban? I remember one Death Eater screaming for his wife Ana once…"

"Maybe it was him, but I don't care. I didn't care then, I don't care now, and I won't care for that man ever again. I wasn't sad when he died. Never shed a one single tear for him. He doesn't deserve it. He left me, Sirius, left me and my mother alone in a middle of a war, joining something so horrible. He was so rich, but he left us with almost nothing. But he left me everything he owned in his will; three houses which I never visit, and two Gringotts vaults. I spent half of my inheritance on charities, and helping others. Gringotts' Goblins still hate me for that… My father would be so pissed about that, and that's why I liked it." Gwen was then interrupted with Sirius laughing.

"This is great. I never thought about doing something like that. You're brilliant," Sirius was still laughing.

"Yeah well… I didn't claim my inheritance until my 17th birthday, though. In the beginning of 1984, my mother and I were back at Hogsmeade, and I was back at Hogwarts. Don't tell him I told you that, but that was the first time I left Severus Snape speechless. You see, I had to take some tests to see what I learned at Durmstrang, and to make sure I'm ready for O.W.L.s since I was supposed to be in the second half of the fifth year. Of course, he wanted to make things harder for me, so he gave me a task to brew a Draught of Peace. And I did… You should see old McGonagall's face when she figured Sev has nothing to say, but a silent "Bravo!". It was hilarious, even Dumbledore chuckled. Flitwick was really proud, and happy to have me back, so I was back at Hogwarts, happy and relieved."

Sirius laughed harder now, and Gwen just looked at him with a light, mischevious smile on her face.

"You will have to tell me how to shut Snape's mouth," Sirius laughed, trying to catch his breath.

"Don't mock him, Sirius. If he wasn't there tonight, I would probably be dead." Gwen frowned at Sirius now.

"Sorry, sorry. Go on."

"I finished my seventh year in 1986, like I never left. My mother threw herself into some research in Albania, so I was free to do whatever I wanted to. You see, since my father died, she wasn't so paranoid anymore. And you know, most of the Death Eaters were in Azkaban, and there was no sight of You-Know-Who… Anyway, Polly and me travelled all summer. It was mental, we went to South Africa, Brasil, USA… It was more of Muggle fun than wizarding one. But then Polly got pregnant with some bloke she met in the bar…"

"Whoa, that's a real plot twist!" Sirius commented again, and smiled, gesturing her to continue.

"Yes, well… Anyway, he didn't want nothing to do with it, so we came back in the UK. She decided to keep the baby, and I respected that, you know? She was always there for me, and at least I could do is support her in that mess… Her parents were furious, but they calmed in a week, or so. When Brianna was born, I convinced Polly to stay with me in Hogsmeade for a while. My mother was doing her researches, and Polly needed help. I just want you to understand that in that point of my life, I had no clue about anything my father did, or who he was… Sometimes, I wish it stayed that way."

"Gwen… If you don't want to talk about this it's fine. We can talk tomorrow," Sirius moved himself closer to her, putting a hand on her shoulder.

"No, I have to do this. Maybe even for myself, so you better listen to me because I highly doubt I will tell this story again in a near future…" she said, determined to give him answers. Answers she knew he wanted from the moment he woke up in her house. "Watching Polly with Brianna… It made me feel things I've never felt before. I wanted to know who my father is, what he's done. So I went to find the answers. I knew some people who could help me, and they did. It didn't take long, and I found out everything. About him joining the Death Eaters, threatening my mother to take me away because of my visions, planning to marry me to some pureblood prick… He was even threatening to kill her. My father… And then he broke my heart again. Just like he did when he walked out on us…" Gwen gasped, but she didn't cry. Just like she said before, she doesn't cry because of her father. He doesn't deserve it. Sirius was quite surprised with how she can manage her emotions like that. Control them like she has an on/off switch in her brain.

"That year, 1988… It was the worst year I could ever imagine. After I found out what he did, and went back home…" she gasped one more time, but this time tears started rolling down her cheeks. Sirius was confused, and wasn't sure what happened, or what to do. "I went to see Polly. You see, she moved out while I was away, and rented a flat in Camden. And I will never forgive myself that… I went to see her, only to find both her and Brianna… The Death Eaters. Or at least what was left of them, tried to get me... It was all my father's fault. They murdered Brianna… A baby. An innocent baby, Sirius… And she couldn't handle that, so she took her own life…" she was now sobbing, gasping, and trying to catch a proper breath.

"Gwen… I didn't know… I'm sorry," Sirius hugged her, trying to comfort her, but he knew that there are no words of comfort. He knew what he felt when he found James, Lily, and Harry. Only in his case, Harry was alive, and well. She cried on his shoulder, her hair choking him in the process, but he didn't mind. "Maybe you don't know, but I understand the feeling… I found James, and Lily. I will never forget that…" Gwen didn't know that. She knew that Harry was taken, and sent off to the Dursleys, and that Sirius was arrested shortly after what happened. She didn't know he saw the horror in the once happy family house.

"I'm sorry, Sirius, I didn't know," she lifted her head, but lowered her look. He took out his wand, and summoned a handkerchief to wipe out her tears.

"Well, that's the first. You know everything about me," he said, looking at the corner of her lips twitching in kind of a smile. "You don't have to do this… We will talk later."

"Stop saying that. I'm fine…" she took the handkerchief from his hand, and wiped her own tears. "Polly was my James. But you at least have Lupin…"

"Ah, Moony… No, didn't have him, and that was my fault too."

"You're too rash, Sirius," Gwen knew the story about Sirius not trusting Remus. And from the moment she heard it, she wanted just a ten minute conversation with Remus. Just to see if Sirius was right to doubt him. Of course, she didn't know Remus' secret.

"Moony says that too, in fact, he was saying that on a daily basis in Hogwarts. It was like living with the broken record," he tried to make a joke to make her at laugh. The smiles she gave him weren't happy smiles.

"No surprise, he is the smart one after all. Anyway, I found out what happened there shortly after that… Don't ask me how. I did things I'm not proud of, but I acted in pure rage, and devastation. I risked my life, my mother's life… I was foolish, but I needed to know the truth. After I did that, I decided I want out. So I got out. Out of the wizarding world."

"I don't understand…" Sirius was now confused, lifting his left eyebrow in surprise.

"I lived as a Muggle. I tried living without magic… I didn't even use it. Didn't make potions, nothing. Except my visions. Can't quite control them. A lot of things happened in those two years…"

"I'm sorry, what?" Sirius started to laugh in amazement. "You're brilliant. Genius. How didn't I ever think of that? Living as a Muggle? My parents would eat themselves alive!"

Sirius laughed, and Gwen looked at him with no reaction on his laughing. She didn't quite understand what was funny.

"Well… I can tell you more about Muggle life later, if you're interested."

"Definitely am, but I guess not today," Sirius managed to control his laugh to let Gwen continue her story.

"Some things happened during those two years, but I came back in 1991. My mother went missing in Albania. Her body was never found. I don't know much about that… Not because I didn't try to find out, but because I didn't really know where she went. Just today I found out that she saw Dumbledore before leaving, and that she asked him for help. I guess she knew something will happen, and if it wasn't an accident, I bet it's because of my father… She was never found, and I tried, but without success. I couldn't deny who I was anymore. I couldn't pretend not to be a witch, so I moved to Hogsmeade again. And I stayed there since, well… tonight."

"If I'm following right, that was four or five years ago?" Sirius asked. Gwen looked mischievously at him.

"Wow, for someone hyperactive as you are, you're quite a good listener." Gwen said, and Sirius just smiled at her.

"I met Severus a few times in Hogsmeade. We talked, and he offered me to teach me more about potion making. He was still impressed with my skill," Gwen smiled when she said that. "He would kill me if he knew I told you this, but he even admitted I'm better at potion making than him. You know why? Because he uses magic for ingredients. I don't. Ever. All hand made."

"You're definitely better than him. In anything," Sirius scoffed. His dislike of Snape was huge as it was, and he just wanted him as away as possible.

"Don't be like that. Severus helped me a lot. I don't approve his teaching methods, though. But just be civil with him, please."

"I'll behave if he behaves. But if he insults Remus, or anyone else, I can't be held responsible." Sirius was now the one with the mischievous look on his face.

"You're too old for behaving like that, Sirius. Anyway, I worked with Severus for a while. One night I had a vision in front of him. It was about Harry, and the Chamber of Secrets. Harry really is one remarkable boy," Gwen smiled at Sirius, who was grinning with proud. He was proud of Harry, even though they didn't spend much time together.

"Severus helped me with the visions ever since. He taught me legilimency, and occlumency because he thought I will understand my mind better. He wasn't wrong though. I was laying low in Hogsmeade for a while… And then you came."

"Why is it always my fault?" Sirius said jokingly. Gwen shook her head.

"It's not. It's mine." Gwen smiled at him now, and her eyes sparkled for a second.

"But what happened tonight?" Sirius was still confused, and wanted to finish this talk so they could talk about anything else, maybe share a laugh.

"My father's friends. I guess they wanted to recruit me… Yaxley was the one who stunned me. That son of a bitch! When I get him…"

"Death Eaters attacked you? Where were you? In your house?" Sirius didn't want to pry, but he was curious.

"No, they can't see it. No one can, except you and Severus now. It was close, though. Three of them, I took down two, but Yaxley caught me off guard. I'm lucky Severus came at the right time…"

"At least one good thing about his lurking and snooping…" Sirius scoffed with disgust.

"Dumbledore thinks I should stay here, but I understand if you don't want me to after knowing all this. I'm a Death Eater's daughter, targeted by them, a seer… a whole lot of trouble. It is risky, and…" Gwen started to fidget her fingers again.

"And I'm an Azkaban escapee, convicted murderer, with a lot of Death Eater relatives. You're staying here, alright? And don't ever thank me for it, hm?" Sirius wanted her to agree, and she did by nodding.

"Now, I really think you should change… That dress was pretty before, but now..."

"I don't have anything else. I don't even have my wand…" Gwen was now saddened. She lost her wand. What kind of a witch does that?

"Well, you can thank Snivellus," Sirius said, but was stricken with Gwen's look. "Sorry, Snape. He managed to get it." Sirius was now pointing at her wand on the nightstand. Gwen turned and was relieved to see it.

"And, I will find something for you to change, wait a second…" he said, and jumped from the bed. "Oh, and I guess you got to meet Moony. He lives here too."

Gwen was speechless, as she looked at Sirius walking out of the room. She was relieved, and this wasn't a reaction she expected. However, she did censored some parts. Some things are too much for now, and she decided to keep them hidden. She managed to get up, and she looked at herself in the mirror. Sirius was right, she needed another clothes. Suddenly, she was a bit ashamed of talking with him dressed like that. But, she was thankful for the duvet that covered her the whole time. Her hair was a mess, and the small cuts on her face were barely visible. But, the place on her stomach where the stunning spell hit her held a big purple bruise. Sirius broke her train of thoughts walking in the room again, with a small pile of clothes in his hands.

"Here," he handed it to her. "It's not Ravenclaw, since it's mine, but I guess it'll fit you. And it will match your hair." Sirius noticed Gwen's sad look, so he took out his wand, waved it, and pointed it at her hair. Suddenly, her hair was clean, and not messy at all. Her burgundy locks were now free-falling from the top of her head. She looked at herself in the mirror, and was feeling a bit better now.

"Thank you. For everything," she put the clothes he gave her on the dresser, walked towards Sirius, and wiggled herself in his hug. He didn't hug her at first, but eventually he did.

"I told you not to thank me," he broke the hug as soon as he could, still not comfortable with people touching him. Or feeling someone's warmth. "You change, and I'll get Moony."

Sirius walked out of the room again, closing the door. Gwen looked at herself again, satisfied with her new hairstyle. She undressed herself, and put on Sirius' old Gryffindor shirt, and a pair of training trousers. She looked silly because it didn't fit her at all, and it was too much red. But she couldn't deny it was comfortable. She walked to the window, looking through it. It was night for a while now, but she wasn't sure what time it was. But she felt safe. And that was all that was important. Her thoughts were interrupted by Sirius' knocking on the door.

"You decent? I have someone here who is dying to meet you… ouch!"

"Yes, come in," Gwen said nervously. Who would want to meet her?

Sirius was the first one to come in the room, followed by Tonks, and Remus.

"Wait I know you!" Gwen said, and pointed at Tonks. "You're that metamorphmagus girl from Hufflepuff. I remember you from Hogwarts!"

"Wotcher! That's me, Tonks," she offered her hand for a handshake, and Gwen stepped forward to accept it.

"Gwen. I always liked that mental hair of yours," Gwen was amused by Tonks' eyes that now sparkled. "And then you must be Remus Lupin." Gwen turned to Remus, and he nodded as their hands shook.

"I guess you will accompany me tomorrow? Dumbledore said…" Gwen was now looking at Remus, who suddenly looked so uncomfortable, and shy.

"No, I won't, but Tonks will," he smiled lightly at Gwen. "I'll be occupied with something…"

"Oh… I looked forward in meeting my new roommate. I know this one," her head tilted in Sirius' way.

"Not this time, I'm sorry. And excuse me, roommate?" Remus was confused, and he was now more nervous than before. Of course Sirius didn't tell him that on their way up. But he said how she lived in the Muggle world. Because that was more important, obviously.

"Yes… I hope you don't mind," Gwen was now feeling awkward, not really understanding Remus' behaviour. Tonks' looked in a surprise at him as well.

"I don't. I would appreciate if this prick just told me that… I guess I will go tomorrow night then." Remus said with a calm, hoarse voice.

"Go where?" Tonks was now the one asking. She stayed here for some answers, and she will get them. Gwen was confused, but didn't want to say anything. She felt bad with him wanting to leave because of her.

"For Merlin's sake Remus, just tell them already…" Sirius rolled his eyes, trying to encourage his friend, annoyed with him tiptoeing around the subject.

"Well, it's the fu…" Remus started a sentence, but Gwen's shriek stopped him.

"Don't tell me it was you!" Gwen was stricken, now looking at him, her eyes wide open, and hand on her mouth.

"I'm sorry, but I don't really follow," Remus was now the one confused. Tonks' eyes were flowing like a tennis ball from Remus to Gwen. Sirius sat on the bed, trying to suppress his laughter.

"The full moon… Your scars… I saw you in a vision last year. As soon as I told Severus about a werewolf…"

"I'm sorry, what?" Tonks was now the one interrupting, and Sirius burst into laughter. All of them looked at him at once. Remus was petrified, and he wasn't in a mood for laughing at all.

"I'm sorry, but this is the best furry little secret revelation ever," Sirius was still laughing, and Remus cheeks became red from blushing.

"If you saw a werewolf in Hogwarts last year, then yes, it probably was me," he said flatly, looking at Gwen. "Sorry, Tonks, I would tell you eventually…"

"I'm sorry, WHAT? You? And what do you do during the full moon? Lend books in the werewolf library?" Tonks looked at Remus in disbelief. In a matter of seconds, all of them started laughing, with Sirius' being the loudest. However, Sirius didn't notice it was actually the first time Remus took a joke on his werewolf behalf without a sarcastic comment. In fact, Remus laughed for real. Something Sirius didn't hear in a while.

"I'm glad this amuses all of you, but unfortunately no. And that's why I'll leave tomorrow. With only Sirius here it's fine, because well… He became an animagi to keep me company," Remus said, and all looks were now pointed at Sirius who was waving from the bed, grinning like a Cheshire Cat.

"I know, I'm the coolest," he said jokingly.

"But I can't risk it if you'll be here too," Remus finished his thought.

"I'm sorry to put you out of place…" Gwen was suddenly feeling a bit embarrased.

"Nonsense, I'm used to all of it. Just one thing, don't be too loud the morning after. It drives me nuts, loudness," Remus flinched with discomfort.

"How did you manage to live with him, then?" Tonks pointed at Sirius, who truth be told, was always loud. "I guess it's girl power tomorrow then, Gwen. I'll pick you up after work, I get off at 3 p.m. usually. I must go now, it's quite late, and this was one hell of a night." Tonks said, her eyes zooming around the room. She will again be too tired at her work, but she didn't care. It was way better than coming to work hungover.

"I'll wait you here, Tonks. And thank you."

"Hey, you're my first Order task. And I would love to kick some Death Eater's arse! Let them come for you now! Not on my fucking watch!" she winked at Gwen, who smiled at her. "Just don't let them drive you too mental. I guess it's a plus that it's almost 2 in the morning, so they will sleep some time. Take care! Nice to meet… well, all of you? Cheers!" Tonks waved at them, and walked outside of the room, and the house.

This night was everything but expected. Tonks was so impressed by the Order, but she fell asleep immediately. Remus for once fell asleep quite easily, still amused by the young pink haired witch. Even Gwen after everything that happened to her slept quietly, without any dreams. And Sirius… He slept peacefully too. And this night, he didn't dream about the coldness of the Dementors, or the Azkaban.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This came out longer than expected, but I guess it's how it will be from now :D
> 
> I really hope that some things about Gwen are more clear now. I like writing her in the story, and she will definitely stick around.
> 
> AND NOW...
> 
> What will happen in the night of the full moon?
> 
> Will Tonks and Gwen safely visit her house?
> 
> Is Gwen still hiding something? And what's up with Snape?
> 
> And who will be joining us in the next chapter?
> 
> All of that, and lots more will be coming so stay tuned!
> 
> P.S. don't forget to let me know what you think!
> 
> xx


	8. Tonks' first Order task

_11_ _th_ _of July 1995_

Tonks woke up way too late the following morning. She was supposed to be at the Ministry by 7, but considering she opened her eyes at 6:30, that wasn't really possible. But that didn't bother her. She will update Kingsley about what happened, and he will cover for her for sure. Kingsley seeing Snape carrying Gwen into the Headquarters worked in her favour too. She didn't bother rushing. Whenever she did something in a rush, she crashed half of the things in her apartment. She got up, yawned hard because she didn't really have much sleep, and stretched with a loud moan. Oh, if only she could stay in the bed and sleep until noon.

She decided to tone down her outfit, and looks today. Escorting Gwen should run smoothly, and they must remain unseen. She didn't intend to get back to her apartment before that task, so she decided to wear the most ordinary things she could find in her apartment; pair of mom fitted jeans, a dark orange shirt without any print, and a pair of black All Star sneakers. Perfect. She morphed her hair in the natural blonde bob cut. It was always her go-to look when going undercover. While looking at herself in the mirror, she remembered Gwen in Sirius' clothes, and figured she would fit her clothes better. She didn't really knew what she would like, so she picked a simple pinkish summer dress with some twirly pattern on it. Perfect.

It was half past 7 when Tonks marched into the Auror's office. Half of the office was empty, and she liked that even more. However, she saw the top of Kingsley's head in his cubicle, and she noticed Mary was twitchy which meant that Moody was somewhere nearby. Tonks left her rucksack in her cubicle, and went straight to Kingsley. He was so focused on his paperwork that he didn't even notice her coming.

"Wotcher, King…" Tonks couldn't even finish her sentence, when she heard a really familiar voice grunting behind her back. She turned in a second.

"You're late, and not here," Moody was now standing right next to Tonks, who was left speechless. Kingsley looked at them both, sighed, and showed them towards the Scrimgeour office. Kingsley had a key of the office, and he knew Scrimgeour put all kinds of special charms on it. If there's anywhere in the Office they could talk privately, it was that room. He unlocked the door, and let Moody and Tonks in before he got in there too.

"So…" Tonks started again.

"Shut it, Tonks," Moody said, and cast another of the protective spells. This one was against any kind of eavesdropping. Both Tonks and Kingsley were amused by this, because Tonks made her funny hand gesture with symbolised Constant Vigilance.

"I saw that, lass, how many times I have to tell you?" Moody turned towards the younger Aurors. He was way thinner than usual, but he looked better than the first day he turned up in the Office after the kidnapping.

"Oh, raise a hand if you've ever been kidnapped by a mental Death Eater," Tonks said mockingly, and Moody smiled sarcastically at her.

"We don't have time for you two bickering, so please let's get straight to business," Kingsley was again working as a mediator between Tonks and her mentor, pointing his long finger at both Moody and Tonks. He was sure that they had such a great relationship because Tonks would never remain indebted to Moody when it came to comebacks. She always had something to say, and Moody valued that more than being obedient all the time.

"Right. Dumbledore informed me what happened at the Grimmauld Place, but he left the details vague. What do we know about that Gwen person?" Kingsley asked, leaning on his cane. Both Kingsley and Moody now looked straight at Tonks.

"Well… Kingsley you know her from the Triwizard Tournament," Tonks said, and Kingsley nodded.

"I do, but I haven't had time to chat with her even for a second. I know her name is Gwen, and that she lives in Hogsmeade."

"Well, I know that too, and I guess you do too," Tonks now looked at Moody, who grunted in agreement. "But we don't know what happened to her."

"Her father was a Death Eater," Moody said at last. "Really close to Voldemort, nasty one. He worked here as the Unspeakable, that Doherty lad. Maybe you remember him Kingsley, he worked here during the first war. That tall, pale bloke who was always snooping around the Office, and who was very suspicious whenever I got to the Department of Mysteries."

Kingsley nodded. Tonks was a bit struck now. She didn't expect this, but she learned not to judge people by their family. Her mother is the best living example. And now Sirius, too.

"What happened to him?" she asked.

"I put him in Azkaban myself after Voldemort's downfall. He died sometimes in 1983, I think. I still have his file at home."

"Of course you do," Tonks muttered under her breath, and Kingsley gave her the look of warning.

"I already researched a bit, but I didn't get any real clue or something interesting, for that matter," Moody said, and Tonks was now a bit concerned. Who is this Gwen woman?

"Snape told me she was attacked by the Death Eaters. I can't really assume who could it be, but we'll find out. Snape mentioned Yaxley to Dumbledore, but he wasn't alone. Dumbledore said something about escorting her to get her things at Hogsmeade. I guess he put Lupin on that assignment," Kingsley said, and Moody agreed with a grunt again.

"He wanted to, but…" Tonks started. "Lupin has a thing coming, so he can't do it. I'll do it instead," Tonks said with a smile on her face, proud to be chosen for, what now seemed like an important task. She was sure Kingsley and Moody knew about Remus' condition, but she didn't want to say it out loud. In fact, she hadn't thought about it since she found it out.

"Oh, right," Kingsley said, understanding the hint. Moody understood too. "Then, Tonks, be careful, and try to find out more from this Gwen woman. Maybe some detail, or anything."

"Well, she talked to Sirius for a while. I doubt she'll open up to me like that." Tonks was now a bit nervous. She wasn't a subtle person, and if finding out more about Gwen depended on her, she must admit they're screwed.

"We don't need her life story, lass," Moody grunted. "We need the details about the attack, so that we can identify who did it. You'll be in her house, so observe. Look for clues. I trust Dumbledore, and if he gave her a place at the Headquarters, he surely trusts her. You of all people know how you can miss the details when overwhelmed."

Tonks blushed a bit. That was true. When she got overwhelmed, she wouldn't really notice the details.

"I will talk to Hills," Kingsley said calmly. Hills was a retired Auror who was his mentor. "Maybe he remembers something about Doherty, or someone who was close to him. And I'll definitely pay a visit to the Department of Mysteries. And by the way, Tonks, you being late is already covered." Kingsley winked at Tonks, and she smiled at him. She was happy to have Kingsley in her corner.

"You do that, Kingsley. But both of you remember, especially you Nymphadora," Moody was now staring with both of his eyes at Tonks, who flinched and changed her hair colour in violent red. Like always when she heard her horrible name. "We do as Dumbledore said, without question. And he said it's imperative we find out exactly who attacked this lass. Don't do anything irrational, and of course…"

"Constant vigilance, we know, Mad-Eye," Tonks said, and rolled her eyes slightly.

"Don't roll your eyes at me, lass, I don't want you dead. I've spent too much time on you, and I think I can't stand another Black woman hating me," Moody said matter-of-factly, not giving Tonks chance to argue. She knew he cares about her, maybe even like she's his daughter. "The dark times are coming, and we must be careful at all times."

"Of course," Kingsley's deep voice filled the Office. "And Tonks, you're in Office today, no field work for you. I noticed you are a bit behind with the reports, and Scrimgeour homework."

"I took care of that," Moody grunted, and added a bunch of curse words describing Scrimgeour. He didn't like him even a little bit. All Tonks could think was how lucky she is that Moody likes her. And how lucky she is to have him around. He was the one who got her into the Order. He taught her everything she needed to be the best Auror she could be. Tonks never thought about it since his kidnapping, but she was so happy he is alive and here. She smiled at the old man, bounced in front of him, and hugged him. Moody was a bit surprised by that, but he always had a soft spot for her, so he hugged her with one arm. Kingsley just smiled at the scene before him.

"Enough now, Tonks, get back to work," Moody said. He perfectly well understood the meaning behind the hug he just received. They left Scrimgeour's office, and soon after that both Kingsley and Moody were out. Tonks was now alone in her cubicle.

She really didn't want to do the reports, but she knew they had to be done. It took her two hours to finish them. Her focus was lost every five minutes. She looked around the Office, and all the Sirius Black's mug shots in it. An innocent man. And no one would believe it. She felt sad because she couldn't tell her mother the truth. She felt sad because she, as an Auror, was supposed to be able to do something about the injustice that was done in his case. But for now, she mustn't do anything. Moody explained that to her before the first meeting. And she perfectly well understood that Dumbledore's word is like a Bible for the Order. They don't question him, and most definitely they don't disobey him. She glanced at _the Daily Prophet_ on her desk. It must've been Kingsley's. He would usually leave it on her desk when he read it because he wanted her to be in touch with everything. She saw anti-Dumbledore and anti-Harry propaganda, and it made her so mad. Those people were idiots. Fudge was an idiot, and he made all the other people idiots too.

And then she remembered Remus' lycanthropy, again. She flinched a bit. When she was younger, she was terrified of the werewolves, and the werewolf stories. When they learned about them in the Defence Against The Dark Arts, she couldn't sleep the next night. She always pictured them like really bulky, brawny blokes. And Remus Lupin was neither. He was just tall, and tired. Of course, she wasn't scared anymore. She was an Auror, for Merlin's sake. Moody thought her all the tricks how to potentially subdue the werewolf. But he advised her not to ever try it, only if really, really necessary. And she couldn't imagine doing that to Remus. He was so gentlemanly, and nice. How can he be a werewolf?

At that moment she decided she will definitely ask him some questions about it. Although, she didn't know when or how to open the topic. She just knew she will have to ask him, because her curiosity will kill her. If Dumbledore let him teach at Hogwarts, he obviously knows how to behave himself. Dumbledore was old, but his mind was the sharpest mind there was, and Tonks could never doubt his decision. She knew that the well-being of Hogwarts students is his top priority, and that he would never jeopardize them.

She thought about Remus for the rest of the day. When was he bitten? Where was he bitten? The scars on his face, and the small ones she saw on his arms were definitely not it. He went to Hogwarts, and Sirius became an illegal animagi to stay with him during the full moon. She was, again, a bit jealous to hear about the friendship like that. She wasn't sure that any of her school colleagues would dye their hair pink because of her, for instance. And that was nothing in comparison with what Sirius has done. The funny thing about this was that she didn't even notice how fast the time passed, while she was exploring her memories from the night before. It was 10 minutes before 3, and she was happy to see that. It meant her first Order task is beginning, and that she could finally prove herself as worthy. The last 10 minutes, however, took forever to pass. At 3 sharp, she grabbed her rucksack, and rushed out of the Office, and the Ministry. It took her exactly six minutes to get to the Grimmauld Place. She was again in front of the knobless door. "Let's do this," was her last thought before entering the house.

* * *

Gwen woke up with a slight headache, and she flinched because it wasn't the space she was used to. She rubbed her still sleepy eyes, and yawned. She looked around the room she was placed in, seeing it in the daylight for the first time. Wallpapers were in a terrible condition, but the hardwood furniture was as beautiful, and good as new. When she saw the Slytherin emblem on the wall, she remembered the one which used to hang over the fireplace in all of their houses. It was her father's, and it was the same as this one.

"Of course," she thought, wiggling out of the bed. She didn't even know what time it is, and she didn't notice a clock in the room. She didn't have any other clothes to change, and she really needed to use the bathroom. She exited the pale looking room, and looked around her. The house was so quiet, and empty, even though it now had three residents. She figured that the room next to her's was Sirius' by the sign on the door, and prayed that the other door was a bathroom. And it was. It was small, and mouldy, but the tub, the basin, and the toilet were squeaky clean. She scoffed at that, knowing it was the work of Remus Lupin since Sirius was incapable of cleaning it the Muggle way, and most surely didn't know cleaning spells.

She decided to try and find them. She didn't have a clue where Remus slept, and she was still feeling bad for him leaving because of her. She noticed the library's door open, but no one was in there. The door of the room next to it were open, too, and by the things she saw from the doorstep, she figured that must've been Remus' room. She descended slowly, and heard voices silently coming from the ground floor. The silence was broken with Sirius' bark laughter. She wasn't so slow anymore, but the sight of shrunken house-elf heads made her feel so uncomfortable. She was bare feet, and she felt her feet getting dirty, but she didn't care. With a hippie mother, she spent a lot of time bare feet.

She reached the dining room, and found both Sirius and Remus sitting there, having a cup of tea. When she entered, both of the men turned towards her. She knew how Sirius looked like in every light, and time of the day, but Remus looked even more tired, and ill than yesterday. His tired face was lightened up with a small smile he gave her.

"Good morning, sleepy head! You surely did your beauty sleep," Sirius said with his famous grin. "Sit with us, have a cup of tea. Do you know Remus here makes the best tea in the whole wide world?"

"Oh really? Then I can't refuse," she reached the chair that was on Sirius' left. He sat in his usual place, and Remus was on his right, like usual. Remus stood up at once, and said calmly.

"Coming right up. But I'm not really sure it's the best tea in the world."

"Let me decide! I did my fair share of travelling," Gwen said, feeling relieved with both of them so relaxed around her.

"I don't know why you got up, Moony, you're a wizard for Merlin's sake. Use the power!"

"Spoken like a true Black," Remus scoffed at him as he was coming back, and handed the mug to Gwen. "You alright? I must say I'm surprised by how long you've slept."

"I'm fine, a bit sore, but fine. And again, I'm sorry for intruding. I know this one doesn't mind," she pointed with her thumb at Sirius, but her eyes were fixed on Remus. "But I've put you out of place. And I blurted out your… condition? I'm sorry, I don't know how to address it…"

"Furry little problem," Sirius said, interrupting her. "And thank Merlin you did because he would never do it straight ahead like that."

"I wouldn't, but you don't have to apologise for anything, Gwen. It's nothing I'm not used to, and your safety is obviously important. Don't feel sorry for me. And about my condition, you can call it whatever you want. There is no way of saying it to sound any better, or worse than it is."

Gwen felt blood coming to her cheeks. She felt like she was at Hogwarts, listening to some professor. The mug in her hands was warm, and she took a sip of her tea.

"Mmmm… this really is the best tea I had in a long, long time," she tried to change the subject. She felt too uncomfortable. "What time is it?"

"Almost noon. You really did your share of sleeping," Sirius said, and put his hand on her shoulder. She looked at him, but wasn't sure what he wanted. Remus stood up again, picking up the empty mugs.

"I'll be in the library. There is a really stubborn boggart there, and I can't stand it anymore," Remus said nervously, twitched a bit, and left the room. Sirius' hand was still on Gwen's shoulder, and she was now looking at him annoyed.

"I'm fine. It wasn't a fair fight, otherwise they wouldn't stand a chance against me," she said, and Sirius was surprised how she knew what was he thinking.

"You're really self-confident, you know?" He said, removing his hand.

"I know, but I know what I'm capable of so I have a right to be."

"Fair point. I won't ask you again about it. So, how did you like your room?"

"It's a bit too Slytherinish for my taste, but the bed is really comfortable. Your room is right next to it, right?"

"Yes," Sirius said, and lowered his look. He hated the house. Every single bit of it.

"I know you hate it in here, but I think we can make this place liveable. It just needs some thorough cleaning. So Remus and I will take care of it, I guess."

"Oh, ha ha ha," Sirius fake laughed, but it ended up with a real laugh.

"So what is this place? Why is it so secret? I figured it's protected with _Fidelius_?" She knew perfectly well what this house used to be. She was never in there, but she knew it was the Black house, the famous one.

"It was my parents house… And they died, and forgot to change the will, so it's mine now. I offered it to be the Headquarters."

"Headquarters of what? Lonely wizarding hobos who were in too much danger?" She tried to make him smile because his face was now without any expression. She hated that. He looked like he just saw a Dementor, and he spent way too much time with them. He deserved to laugh, and smile.

"Hah, almost. I guess you will find out sooner or later if you're going to live here. The Headquarters of the Order of the Pheonix. It's a secret organization. Guess who's the leader?"

"I would put all my father's fortune on Dumbledore," she took another sip of the tea. It really was delicious.

"And you would win. Our main goal is to get Voldemort," Sirius noticed Gwen flinch at the sound of the name. "Sorry. Habit." He apologised.

"It's fine. So this is it? Who's in it?" Gwen was still fascinated by how good Sirius looked, even after spending 12 years in Azkaban. Like he did some super magic to prevent himself from turning into a lump of grey skin, hair, and bones.

"Well, you've met Tonks. She is my cousin…"

"I know," Gwen blurted, and regretted it immediately. Sirius looked suspicious, but decided to let it slide. He got used to her knowing things about him he never told her.

"Remus, me… And your best friend Sni… I'm sorry, Severus." He noticed her look, and stopped himself at the right time.

"Severus is not my… Oh forget it, you wouldn't understand. So, I guess I knew exactly where to go," Gwen said, giving up on her tries to make Sirius at least civil to Snape.

"Yes, you're one really fascinating woman, Gwendolyn Doherty," he said and winked at her.

They talked some more, mostly about Sirius' memories from the first war. Gwen was away, and didn't really know what was going on here. Her mother left her in vague on purpose, and Gwen didn't mind at the given time. But now, she wished she knew more. When she finished her tea, she decided to have a bath. Sirius teased her about wearing his Gryffindor clothes, and even suggested her to take some of his mother's clothes, which were hideous. When she was done with her bath, he found Remus cooking them lunch. It was some kind of a stew, and she was quite hungry, so she was a bit impatient. While Remus was cooking, Sirius and Gwen got rid of the doxies in one of the bedrooms on the second floor. They had a nice lunch, and Gwen really liked both of their company. Sirius was loud, someone who you would notice from miles away, and Remus was quiet, but witty and sarcastic. She liked him picking on Sirius, and she couldn't remember when she laughed that hard. They sat in the drawing room, talking about nothing and everything when Tonks interrupted them.

"Wotcher, everyone," Tonks stood a bit nervous on the doorstep. They heard some noise before, but blamed the boggarts. In fact, that was Tonks' tripping over the umbrella stand. Again. They all greeted her in unison, which made Tonks laugh.

"Have you been practicing that since I've left?" Tonks sat next to Gwen, who was sitting on the same couch Tonks did yesterday.

"No, but we just couldn't wait for you to join us," Sirius said grinning. "New look? I liked the pink better."

"Well, business first, fun later. My hair is no exception," Tonks started searching her rucksack. She definitely brought a bunch of useless things with her.

"Spoken like true Mad-Eye disciple," Remus commented under his breath, but all of them understood him. Tonks gave him a sassy look, but didn't answer.

"Here it is," she said, pulling out the dress out of her rucksack. "I brought this for you. I guess it will fit you better than this, Gryffindor, merch," she emphasised Gryffindor mockingly, imitating the Sorting hat. Both Sirius and Remus lifted an eyebrow at her, but she ignored them, and handed the dress to Gwen.

"Wow… That's really thoughtful, Tonks, thank you," Gwen hugged Tonks, who was a bit surprised by the hug, but which Hufflepuff doesn't like hugs? "Let me change, and grab my wand, and we can be on our way."

Gwen left the room on her toes, gracefully, like she was floating.

"Wow, she really is something," Tonks said, looking at Gwen leaving.

"You tell me, I spent two weeks at her house. She is weird, but not bad weird. More like… interesting weird," Sirius commented.

"And what will you two do today?" she asked the men in front of her. Sirius looked at Remus, waiting for his answer.

"Well, we could do some cleaning, and I will be out by 9, I guess," Remus said, lowering his look. He didn't want to discuss his lycanthropy now, and he was too tense. He breathed deeply, trying to remain calm.

"Oh… But the full moon is not until tomorrow, right?" Tonks blurted, figuring she probably should be a bit more considerate.

"You're right. But I feel it earlier, so it's better for me to keep my distance."

"You don't really look dangerous…" she stopped herself at once, thinking how she should really put some filter on herself.

"Well, you should see him transformed then," Sirius said, frogging Remus, who wasn't amused. "He's really scary!"

"No she shouldn't…" Remus voice was now a bit louder, and huskier. He couldn't hide him being so nervous. Tonks figured he is not comfortable, and regretted her words immediately. She thought about how inconsiderate Sirius was. He should really pick his words better.

"So, I guess I'll see you when we come back, then," she said, as she saw Gwen descending on the stairs. "Take care, boys. I would say not to make a mess, but could you really tell in this house?"

She winked at them, and joined Gwen on the doorstep. Gwen waved to Remus and Sirius, without a word, and headed towards the front door. It was really nice, warm and sunny summer day.

"Apparition? Or have you had something else in mind?" Gwen asked Tonks.

"Yes, it's easiest. Together, or apart?"

"I would prefer if you do it. It makes me nauseous to lead, and I'm still sore from yesterday," Gwen said and grabbed Tonks' arm.

"Then hold tight."

In a matter of seconds they were in front of _the Three Broomsticks_. Tonks loved Hogsmeade, and took a deep breath.

"I love it here. Where is your house?"

"Follow me," Gwen said, and Tonks obeyed. However, she took a good look at her surroundings. There was barely anyone in the streets. After all, it was summer.

"So, you're new here, or you're one of the old residents?"

"Well, both. I lived here as a girl, and moved back a few years ago. You see, I travelled a lot before. And before moving back, I lived in the Muggle world. Like a Muggle."

"What? Really? You can do that?" Tonks was surprised, and looked at Gwen waiting for an answer. Gwen smiled at her.

"Really, and you can. But I came back, I guess a witch can't just stop being what she is."

"Why did you come back?"

"Love. Well, mostly. My heart got broken, and my mother died in a matter of months after that."

"Sorry to hear about your mother… And your heart."

"Thanks… But you know, they say heart can heal, and I feel like after that mine just became stone like," Gwen said, as they strolled past the shops, getting closer to her house.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I fell in love with someone. And he loved me back," Gwen said with a small smile on her face. "But he couldn't handle the truth about me being a witch… So I obliviated him, and left. Better for him not to remember me, than to live disappointed."

"Oh…" Tonks didn't know what to say. She was never really in love with someone. She had some crushes, but it wasn't anything serious. "Well, men are a bunch of pathetic sods, anyway."

Gwen laughed at that.

"I'll ask you what you think about that when you fall in love, Tonks. Oh, what is your first name? I remember you went by Tonks even in Hogwarts."

"It's Nymphadora. Even more pathetic than men, really. And don't call me like that. Ever."

"Okay, it's too long anyway." Gwen accepted Tonks' game, and Tonks appreciated it. "So you're an Auror?"

"Yes, trained by none other than Alastor Moody."

"Hah, that's funny considering he put my father in Azkaban," Gwen spat, and realised it sounded like she hated Moody, not her father. "I'm sorry, I'm still bitter about my father being a Death Eater, I guess."

"Your father was a Death Eater?" Tonks asked, even though she already knew the truth. She didn't want to seem like she did full on investigation of Gwen's life.

"Yes," Gwen answered the question shortly. She figured Moody must've told her already, but appreciated her attempt at pretending like she doesn't know.

"So you think that's connected to the attack on you? Did you see who attacked you?"

"Yes, and no. I recognised that awful Yaxley, but the other two I don't know."

"I hate Yaxley, he looks like the broom is stuck in his arse all the time. And he smells funny," Tonks' face turned into a grimace, and Gwen laughed. Her laughter was soft, and decadent. It reminded Tonks of her mother. Andromeda had the grace of a noble house of Black, and she couldn't deny it. And Tonks saw a bit of that in Gwen too.

"Well… I agree completely," Gwen said, and pointed at her house. "Here we are."

"Wow, I never noticed that house before."

"Because I didn't tell you about it. It's a Durmstrang magic. Quite handy."

They entered Gwen's house, and Tonks was amazed with all the shiny stuff on the shelves. She didn't even notice Gwen using her abilities of wandless and non-verbal magic to make her suitcase fill itself, and flow near the entrance.

"Well, I guess my clothes is all set," Gwen said, and Tonks flinched.

"You're fast."

"Well, with clothes yes. However, I won't leave the house without my essentials for brewing, so please wait here."

"Will do!" Tonks said, greeting her in a military way, with two fingers on her temple.

Gwen left the room, and headed to the basement. She will just take everything with her. Her potions, and potion making equipment were priceless to her. She couldn't leave them. At the same time, Tonks was looking around the living room. She noticed a bunch of photos, all taken on the 8th of August, but different years. The shelves in the living room were filled with books. "True Ravenclaw," Tonks thought. She heard a noise from the basement, but decided to not go in there. If Gwen wanted her there, she would call out. Tonks figured that 8th of August was Gwen's birth date, and kept looking at the photos and books.

It took about ten minutes for Gwen to get everything from her potions room. Thank God for the Undetectable Extension charm. Everything fitted in a small handbag. Gwen took one last glance at the room, and realised she forgot about her prophecies. She stuffed them in the bag too, and met Tonks in the living room again. She noticed her staring at the photos, so she took one.

"This is my mother, you see," Gwen explained. "She comes from sort of Bulgarian royalty. Well, not really royalty, but quite noble."

"She was beautiful. And who are they? Your sister?" Tonks pointed at the photo of Polly and Brianna. Gwen smiled sadly.

"You could say that," she took that photo too, and stuffed them in the same bag with her potions equipment.

"Oh, I'm sorry if I'm being nosy… I don't really have a filter, and I almost always blurt something stupid, or uncomfortable."

"Don't be so dramatic. That was my best friend, and her daughter." Gwen explained, hoping Tonks won't ask more questions.

"Oh… You said was?" Tonks, however, couldn't stand her curiosity.

"Well… they are dead. Both of them. The Death Eaters…" Gwen sighed. Tonks felt uncomfortable at once, seeing Gwen's face.

"Okay, I'm really a dumb twat, and can't take a hint. It's better for us to leave, because few more questions, and you might hex me into Oblivion."

"It's okay. I guess now when I'm part of all this craziness, I shouldn't be so… secretive." Gwen said, but something outside of the house caught her eye. It was Yaxley, strolling into the village. He couldn't see her house, but maybe he learned where it was. Tonks turned, and she noticed him too.

"Give me a second," Tonks morphed her face not to resemble her. "He can't recognise me, wish I could do the same for you."

"Why? You think he can get me? Pfft, I know things not even Moody knows about, and he caught me off guard yesterday. And I have you with me. I'm not afraid of him." Gwen crossed her arms on her chest, looking bold, confident, and proud. Almost like she was a Slytherin prefect. Tonks made a face of approving.

"Alright, let's get out of here then," Tonks said, and figured how excited she sounded.

"Right, but we won't be apparating back. I have something here I really adore, and I won't ever leave it unsupervised."

"What are you talking about?"

"Let's just leave Hogsmeade, and I'll show you." Gwen said, and grabbed a small box from the book case. They left the house, and saw Yaxley strolling down the street, with his back turned.

"Let's go this way," Gwen said, but as soon as they turned, Tonks felt something happened, so she looked behind. She saw Yaxley on the ground.

"Gwen… I don't want to panic, but Yaxley is…"

"Unconcious, and he will be for the next three or four hours. Sorry, I know this was stupid, but I couldn't help myself."

"What did you do?"

"I just stupefied him really hard," Gwen now looked at Tonks mischievously, and Tonks was impressed.

"You're really good with wandless and non-verbal magic. It scares me a bit." Tonks said jokingly.

"You shouldn't be scared. I wouldn't use it on you. You're nice. I can help you master it if you want. I can't imagine Moody letting you become an Auror if you're not good at it."

"Hmm… Well that is the idea. We'll definitely talk about that later."

They walked for about 20 minutes. They talked about their usual lives, nothing special. Suddenly they found themselves in the Muggle village which was nearby.

"Perfect. Now…" Gwen opened a box, and pulled out a small black model of a 1958 Chevrolet Corvette. She waved her hand, and the car grew until it became normal, full-sized car. Tonks was confused, surprised, and impressed. This woman really was interesting.

"Hop in," Gwen put her bags in the trunk, and took the driver seat. Tonks took the passenger's, and was still stunned and speechless. Gwen read her face, and couldn't leave her wondering like that

"It was my mother's. It was the only gift from my father she kept. He bought it while we lived in New York."

"Wow… Don't get me wrong, but you're full of surprises."

"If you think this is a surprise, I can't wait to see your face when we get on the road."

"What do you mean? We have a long way to go?"

"It works similar as the Knight bus, and it could fly. I would say that we'll be at London sooner thatn you think."

"Oh…" Tonks was really surprised by everything Gwen owned, or said to her.

"I guess I do owe you some filling of the gaps," she started the car, and they drove from the village. On their way back to London, Gwen told Tonks most of her story. Even though it was the shorter version of the one she said to Sirius. She left out the parts which were too painful for her to repeat. Tonks was impressed, but understood more now. Tonks shared some things about herself, too. She liked Gwen. She was warm, and funny, even though she was so closed as a person. Tonks didn't want to pry, but figured it was because her heart was broken so many times by so many people. She let Gwen talk about herself. And Tonks then promised to herself that she will at least try to be Gwen's friend. And Gwen thought about the same thing for Tonks.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said someone will be joining us in this chapter, but I decided to make two out of one... And the next one will be in a few days, so patience my loves! Thank you for all the lovely messages and reviews :3
> 
> I decided that Tonks really needs a female friend, so here is Gwen!
> 
> And what will happen in the next chapter?
> 
> Some Sirius and Severus drama for sure! What is Snape up to? Is Gwen really better at potions than him?
> 
> Someone will join us, but who? :)
> 
> What happened with our favourite werewolf?
> 
> And who will be paired for missions on the next Order meeting?
> 
> All of that and much more is coming, so stay tuned, and don't forget to review, or just let me know what you think!
> 
> xx


	9. Full Moon and the Order

_12_ _th_ _of July 1995_

It was the second morning in the Grimmauld Place for Gwen, and the first one without Remus around. He left right after she and Tonks got there yesterday, and told that he will be back tomorrow. After Tonks and Remus left, and she and Sirius shared another firewhiskey, she decided she will help Remus in every way she can. It wasn't fair that he was out of place because of her, no matter what he said. Tonks left shortly after Remus, looking kind of disappointed. Gwen noticed that, but didn't say anything. She wasn't quite sure what was going on, and she didn't want to jump into conclusions or make Tonks feel uncomfortable. Somehow, Gwen thought that Tonks' sudden lack of mood was connected with Remus leaving. She and Sirius were just having breakfast, when she had to break a news that Sirius wouldn't like.

"Hmm… I though you should know, Severus will come by later," she said, looking directly at Sirius, not giving him much space to object.

"Oh? How so? And of course I should know, it is my house after all," he scoffed.

"I invited him. I need some things, and he will get them for me. Plus, I need to talk to him. If it bothers you, we will meet somewhere else, like I int…"

"No, you're not leaving this house alone. Maybe they are still looking for you," Sirius said harshly, like he was no open for discussion.

"I can do whatever I want, Sirius," Gwen said. "But I agree, I might still be in danger, and that's why Severus said he will come by, and not to leave this place."

"I think the hell froze over because I agree with Snape for the first time," Sirius said, and stuffed his mouth with eggs, and ham which Gwen made. She stopped eating, and was now looking directly at him, taking a deep breath.

"I'm not having this, Sirius, and I mean it. He is in that Order, too, and if this is the Headquarters, you can't have problem with him being here. And he is not coming to see you, he's coming to see me. If you have a problem with him, we'll be in my room."

Sirius choked on his meal for a second, coughing hard. Gwen looked at him with her eyebrows high. She gave him her glass of orange juice, since he downed his coffee. He took a sip, and looked at her.

"Oh, Merlin's beard… You're shagging Snape?"

"No," Gwen said shortly, with mocking emphasis, and a slight frown. She looked uncomfortable, like that idea was crazy.

"Are you like, in love with him?" Sirius was now mocking her, but was frowning at the same time with disgust on his face.

"Don't be a prat, Sirius," she lowered her look, and started eating her breakfast again. Sirius was the one who was staring now, because she couldn't read her reaction. "I'm not romantically involved with Severus. I would call him my friend, but he doesn't like that, so I won't."

"You're a really weird woman, Gwen. He says he's not your friend, but you consider him one? How does that make any sense?" Sirius started eating again, jerking his head. Gwen finished her meal, and pushed the plate at the centre of the table.

"I don't expect you to understand, but you're not a fool, and you saw what he did for me. That wasn't the first time he saved my life, and I'm now asking you to act civil around him," Gwen's voice was firm, and confident. She radiated confidence, and Sirius was a bit amazed by that. He summoned himself more coffee, took a sip, and pierced her eyes with his.

"Alright, so be it. You told me you don't lie, so I guess I should trust you." His voice, however, cracked a bit. Trust was something that wasn't easy when it came to Sirius Black. He trusted few people, and most of them were dead now. But, Gwen figured his trust issues in the first week of them knowing each other. So she knew that his trust is not something for playing with.

"Thank you. And all I've said is true," she smiled kindly at Sirius, who finished his breakfast, too. He nodded, not saying a word, taking another sip of his coffee.

"So, what's up with Tonks?" Gwen changed the subject, not wanting to provoke Sirius when he finally agreed with her.

"What do you mean?" Sirius frowned at her.

"Well, she was in a really good mood on our ride back here, and she looked rather down when she was leaving. I swear I saw her hair turning navy blue," Gwen leaned on the table, supporting herself on her elbows. Sirius was lounging in his chair, with his legs spread, and his hands on the back of his head.

"I still can't believe you drove in a car on the top of this damned building. But I didn't notice that. I don't really know if she can control her hair changing, though..." Sirius looked amused. He liked mysteries, they always gave him a shot of adrenaline.

"Does Remus and she know each other for a long time?" Gwen asked, and Sirius frowned a bit on that question.

"Well, I don't really think that them meeting when he was sixteen, and she was three counts, so I would say they know each other less than us two, Why are you asking?" Sirius' eyes shrunk, and he looked at Gwen suspicious.

"Oh, nothing then… I thought that maybe they are friends, or something, and connected the change with his departure. But I guess it's not it," Gwen said flatly, but with a tone of curiosity in her voice. She ran her hands through her thick hair, tossing her head back.

"Oh… Oh! She stared at him for some time in the first Order meeting. I thought it was because of the scars, you know, many of them stare at him."

Gwen jerked her head, and was now looking at Sirius with a devilish grin on her face.

"She fancies him," Gwen said boldly, and Sirius spat the sip of a coffee he just took.

"I'm sorry, what?" he asked, confused.

"Did she really looked at his scars? Think about it. I wasn't there obviously, but you were, so think hard Sirius."

Sirius frowned, trying to think about what he saw in the meeting. He closed his eyes, and saw Tonks looking at Remus, but not at his scars. She somehow studied his face features, touching her wrist, clearly unconsciously.

"Well, now when you said it… She wasn't… I don't know, she was ogling him for sure, but I don't really know what was on her mind, so…" Sirius was now confused, but the mystery just got more mysterious. "She's my baby cousin, and he is an old werewolf. Don't really see those two together."

"I never said they will marry tomorrow, just that she fancies him. Maybe she's just attracted to him. I mean, scars or no scars, he is nice looking man," Gwen said matter-of-factly. She saw Remus few times in Hogsmeade, in the daylight, after a good night's sleep. He looked less ill, and fresher than yesterday. He wasn't the typical handsome man, but he wasn't bad looking either. And he had interesting eye colour.

"Oh, so you like him? I don't follow this conversation, and excuse me but since when is Moony this interesting to ladies?" Sirius said kind of offended. He was usually the most handsome one in their little clique.

"Your comments, Sirius…" Gwen sighed. "Remus is definitely not my type, too bright. But I guess he is Tonks'."

"I think you're crazy," Sirius said, with a smile coming through his voice.

"You might say that, but I have an intuition for this kind of things. Lets bet! I'll give you… hm, what do you want?" Gwen was determined, and sure of her words. Sirius was intrigued, and was now leaning forward to her, grinning.

"The bet's on. But when we find out who's right, we'll talk about the stakes. You in, Doherty?"

"Of course I am," she moved her face closer to Sirius, and mocked him. "But you'll lose, Black."

Gwen stood up, and picked up the dishes, bringing them to the kitchen.

"You know I have a house elf? You don't have to clean!" Sirius yelled, but all he heard was Gwen's soft, ringing laughter.

* * *

It was almost 8 in the evening, and Snape still hasn't stopped by. Gwen was now a bit annoyed, because she thought he will be here in the afternoon. Sirius was in his mother's room with Buckbeak, and Gwen was trying to make library more presentable. Tall mahogany bookshelves were filled with various books, all looking rather old, valuable, and for Gwen, beautiful. Some of the copies were destroyed by the Doxies, but it wasn't much. The library had two writing desks, and a set contained of mahogany and royal purple couch, and 4 armchairs. Even though it was run down, it was beautiful. If this house wasn't decaying for years, it would really be something priceless. She managed to make the room look good, removing all the doxies, spiders, and moths she found there. However, there weren't any boggarts, and she was grateful for that because she wasn't up for seeing anything scary now. She was just sorting some books, and skimming through the pages of some ancient writing sitting on the couch, when she heard doors opening.

"I thought I would find you there," Snape was standing on the doorstep, entering the room, and closing the door.

"Sev… I knew you would come, but I think we misunderstood on the details," Gwen said, putting the book on the coffee table with the rest of the ones she was sorting. "Sit, please."

Snape did as she said, and sat on the couch. He gave her a small paper bag.

"Your ingredients, and don't think I don't know what you'll be doing with them."

"Nothing you haven't done for a year, if I remember correctly, Sev." Gwen said, looking at him straight in the eyes. He sighed in protest, and rolled his eyes, but swallowed the words that were on the tip of his tongue.

"So how are you?" he asked with a soft, and barely hearable voice. It wasn't something he usually did.

"I'm fine. And thank you for saving me, again. I guess I'm not that independent as I thought," she said, and fidgeted her fingers a bit.

"You are, but you shouldn't strut around alone. You're someone noticable, and if they are looking for you…" Snape was interrupted, much to his dismay.

"Are they? You know if they do, Sev. You think I don't know where have you been?" Gwen knew that Dumbledore sent Snape to join the Death Eaters. But she also knew where his allegiance stands, and she never questioned that. He sighed loudly, again.

"They are," his answer was short, and flat.

"Laina…" Gwen cursed in Bulgarian, and her head was now in her hands.

"They know about your… abilities. And they know how skilled you are. The Dark Lord himself asked for you, since your father is dead. He asked me if I know where you are, and I played my part."

Gwen lifter her head, and looked at Snape again.

"Sev… You can't lie to him like that. If he finds out he'll kill you."

"You have any better idea? Maybe want to join me for a next meeting?"

"No, of course not… But why am I interesting to them? I don't get it…" Gwen was confused, scared, and she really didn't want Death Eaters chasing her. The worst fears of her mother came true…

"Voldemort wants the prophecy about him and Harry. And he thinks he could use a seer now… And the daughter of one of his most loyal seems quite… fitting." His face was emotionless, and Gwen knew what that meant. He was boiling inside, and tried to hide it, as always.

"Fucking hell…" Gwen tossed her head in the back, and lifted her legs on the couch, knocking off some books in the process.

"Look, Gwen, I think you sh…" Snape was interrupted with Sirius barging in the room. He rolled his eyes at the sight of him, and said. " Of course."

"Oh Sn…" Sirius started, but Gwen's look pierced him as a knife. "Snape. When did you sneak in?"

"And Dumbledore left you in charge here… That house elf would do a better job at keeping this house safe." Snape scoffed, and Gwen noticed Sirius fist clenching.

"Sev…" she at least tried to do something, but Sirius was now right in front of the couch, and Snape stood up. Gwen was still sitting, looking at them from the couch. Snape was on her left, and Sirius on her right.

"You're in my house, Snape, show some manners if you have them. Or is that reserved only for Voldemort and his cronies?" Sirius was now taunting Snape, but he managed to not insult him directly. That was civil, right?

"Watch your mouth, Black. I know a few of those, as you said, cronies, who would be delighted to find you," Snape's voice was tense, but monotone. He watched at Sirius with a smirk.

"Sev…" Gwen tried to calm the situation again, but both of the men ignored her.

"Oh really? Then send them to me. Let's see what they're made of…"

"And you too…" Gwen said, this time trying to get Sirius' attention.

"Are you really that ignorant, Black? Your fighting skills are… rusty at best while they fight all the time. As much as I would love to see you squirm, Order comes before that, and the safety of this… house." Snape said with a scoff of disgust.

"Even this derelict, and tumbled down, it still looks better than anything you have. And what do you have, Snape, hm? A shiny cauldron? I know you most definitely don't own a bottle of shampoo…"

"You're a child, Black, I pity you, and this… this period of time you call life."

Sirius now charged at Snape, almost punching him in the face, when both of them were knocked over in the armchairs behind them. Gwen was now the one standing, with her hands in the air. She cast one spell that had an impact on both of them. Sirius opened his mouth to say something, while Snape looked at her horrified. She waved her hands once more, and casted silencing charm on both of them. Sirius' words became silent, and Snape looked even more horrified when he figured what Gwen did to both of them.

"Stop! Just stop! Both of you. I'm not having this. If you move your arses from those armchairs, I will immobule you so hard you won't leave this place for another three hours. And I swear on my mother's grave, I will put you in a position so close that the only thing you will see is each other's face." Gwen was frustrated with their behaviour, mad for them quarrelling like teenagers. Sirius' eyes were wide open, and Snape looked even more horrified than before. The thought of them looking each other for a long time wasn't appealing, so they obeyed her and stayed in the armchairs.

"Good. Now… I will be staying here since, well, You-Know-Who is mental enough to think I will join him. And I want that to work, but I can't with you two fighting like that. I'm now asking both of you politely to put aside all your differences, and try to be civil. You're thirty-something grown adults, not some Hogwarts fourth-graders. Act like that." Gwen said, switching her look from Snape to Sirius. Sirius was terrified by the news. "Do we have an agreement? No more fighting, insulting, bickering… Anything childish, and not necessary."

Both of the men just stared at the woman who was fuming in front of them, dressing them both down. They weren't moving.

"I said do we have an agreement? Nod if you agree, and if not nodding, I'll just consider you don't, and I don't want that." Both of the men nodded. "Okay, now shake hands. A real hand shake."

Both of them stood up. Snape looked at Gwen looking like he will burst into flames, and Sirius looked like he will explode. Gwen was content with that. It was the only way for them to listen to her. They shook hands. For real this time.

"Thank you! Now," she waved her hands, and the silencing charm was off.

"You're crazy," Sirius scoffed.

"Maybe I am, but I don't want to die because of you two acting like two immature gits."

Snape was silent, with horror still on his face. He stared at Gwen, but couldn't talk.

"Who is after you?" Sirius asked, even though he knew the answer, and looked at Gwen, ignoring Snape completely.

"The Death Eaters. Sev just confirmed it to me. Because of the prophecy about You-Know-Who, and Harry. Sev thinks it's because of my seer abilities…"

"But you can't see things at will… I'm sure Voldemort knows that," Sirius was now looking at Snape, who crossed his hands.

"He does. I think it's more than that, but haven't figured it out yet. However, I already spoke to Dumbledore, and he said we must have a meeting at once. It will be tomorrow at 7 in the evening. I suppose it is because of Lupin's… night out. We have to team up, and watch over Potter, and the prophecy." Snape said, with a smirk on his face. He loved being in control, knowing more than others. Sirius on the other hand, was nervous because once again he was powerless.

"I'll let other Order members know then," Sirius scoffed, and charged towards the door. Snape was very pleased with the fact he could basically boss Sirius around like that. Sirius was the one in charge of noticing the Order members about meetings. As much as he would like to punch Snape in the face, Sirius decided to leave before that happens. Gwen was right, they had to be civil, much to their dismay. Sirius left the room, knowing he will talk with Gwen more when Snape leaves. He needs to know the whole story. When he closed the door, Snape turned to Gwen.

"Don't you ever, EVER, do that to me again, Gwen," he said strictly, frustrated, and tense.

"I'm sorry, Sev, but I can't have you behaving like that. Like it or not, I'm the safest here. And if you want me safe, you won't argue that. Please, Sev… Don't make it any harder than it is."

"Right. So you think you're safe here with him? I would offer you to stay at my house, but it's not safe now. Maybe one of your father's houses?" He asked her.

"No. Even if they were safe, which I highly doubt, I would never live there. I would rather go back to being a Muggle." Gwen scoffed at the idea which disgusted her on so many levels. No. She can't live in her fathers house. Not one of them. Just no.

"Then I must agree this is the safest solution for now. But I don't like Black snooping…"

"He's not snooping, he is worried about me, just like you are. You won't admit it, but I know you better than that." Gwen placed her hands on her hips, standing bravely in front of Snape, whose arms were still crossed on his chest.

"I will admit it, because I am, and should be worried about you. You are skilled, and very capable, but so are they. I don't want you going anywhere from here. I can't accompany you because that would put you in more danger, and I don't trust any of them to take care for you." Snape put his guard down for a moment, and was even surprised by his own words.

"I appreciate you worrying, Sev, but Tonks escorted me already, and we did well together. So, if I'll go anywhere, she will be with me," Gwen tried to make Snape more relaxed, even though she wasn't that sure that Tonks would really accompany her whenever she needs it. But, she could always ask her werewolf roommate, too.

"You believe her? You believe Black? And Lupin? I trust your judgement, but…"

"No buts, Sev. I do trust Sirius, Tonks seems like she likes me, and Lupin left this house for a couple of days because of my safety. But I would go with Tonks. I like her too, whatever you have against her. So, she mocked a bit on your expense at Hogwarts. Big deal, you're grown man."

Snape rolled his eyes, but his face remained stone cold.

"It's funny how you care about me, and always do what's best for me, and yet you said we aren't, and can't be friends…" Gwen was now looking straight into his eyes, thinking about what Sirius said earlier.

"Gwen…"

"What? You said it yourself a year ago…"

"I did, but you and I both know why I said it."

"No, Sev, I really don't understand that." Gwen admitted, and lowered her look, now staring at the floor.

"I sometimes say things I don't mean, alright? Don't make me revise what happened that night." Snape said, giving her no place for arguments. She lifted her head at once, looked at him for a second, or five, and charged to hug him.

"If you don't hug me back, Sev, I swear to Merlin, I will imperio you to do so," she said quietly right in his ear, and she felt his arms wrapping around her loosely.

"Happy now?" he said when he let her go.

"Yes, and I proved my point. I read you like an open book, Severus Snape," Gwen said mockingly, sitting on the couch again.

"I would say that's not true, but I don't have time for that argument now. I must go. Another meeting is starting. Take care, Gwen, try not to become a self-pompous prick in this house. It seems to make people that way." Snape said, turned, and left Gwen alone exactly how he found her. In the middle of the library, surrounded by books. Right when she saw Snape's cloak flowing behind him, she remembered the one that was lying in her room. She will have to give it back to him.

* * *

Remus was alone in his cottage, counting the minutes until the full moon rising. He was sore, and tense, and somehow, couldn't wait to end this cycle. He got Sirius' note about the meeting tomorrow, and was surprised to have an Order meeting on such short notice after the last one. He guessed Snape found out something from the Death Eaters, so they need do plan a strategy. And he wasn't wrong. The woods surrounding the cottage were mostly people free, and it was the safest place for now to transform.

He sat on his porch steps, in expectation. He breathed deeply, filling his human lungs with warm summer air. He closed his eyes, and saw a picture of sunflower fields. He blinked hard. This is it. The moon is playing tricks on his mind, and that meant the full moon will rise in a matter of seconds. He undressed himself, and was now standing naked in front of his cottage. He didn't have many clothes, so he tried not to ruin any more. He closed his eyes again, and saw the sunflower field again. The sun shined so brightly, like it only could in sunsets. He felt his muscles tensing, his bones aching, the pain piercing down his spine, and limbs. It's coming. Remus felt so trapped in his body now, feeling to big for it. He blinked another time, and closed his eyes again. He knew he won't remember this night in the morning, but as always, the memories came to him in the later days. And he saw the field again, but someone was in that field. His vision became blurry, and he couldn't smell anything anymore. His human senses were leaving him slowly. He felt himself getting bigger, and bulkier. His spine bended, and his joints stretched. That was the most painful part, but he let out only one soundable moan. He was used to this, used to the pain. His skin burned, and he felt every strain of hair coming from it, as it turned wolf's fur. His jaw hurt as it was slowly turning into a snout. That's it. The pain was almost unbearable, but Remus knew it was the last stage. The one before the complete numbness, and waking up in following morning. He closed his still human eyes one more time, and saw exactly who was running through that sunflower field. He recognized the pink hair, heart-shaped face, and a big blue eyes. And the mesmerizing smile. Tonks. But it was done, his mind was not his anymore. The wolf howled at his mortal enemy, the moon, opening another night of terror for the man.

* * *

 _13_ _th_ _of July 1995_

Gwen set up her potion equipment in her room, making it even more crowded. It wasn't a big room anyway, and she already had a bunch of book, a lot of clothes, gramophone records, and wizarding trinkets. Her ingredients must be kept in the bag for now. She was almost done with the essence of dittany, because Sirius told her about Remus' wounds after every full moon. If she interrupted him transforming in the security of this place, at least she could do is brewing some remedy. She woke up early, and already made some soothing potions for muscles and bones. She never met a werewolf, but she read a lot about them, and knew their weak spots. Gwen wondered if Remus being so skinny had any effect on his transformations. Her hair was braided in a long, thick braid, and she wore a dark green shirt, and a pair of washed up jeans. She was bare feet for most of the time in the house, much to Sirius' disagreement. His knocks on the door interrupted her, as she turned to see him.

"Sorry for bothering you, but just wanted you to know Remus is back. I figured what you're doing here all morning, and I really think he could use some of those," he pointed at the bottles placed on the desk.

"Oh, just give me a second to bottle this," Gwen said, and started to do so a bit faster. "How bad is it?"

"Not too bad, though. He's sore, and bruised, but has only a few new cuts. But he looks like hell, I guess he slept outside or on the floor again. I don't get this man, Gwen, after every full moon he would sleep on the floor like it's normal. I, even in the dog form, always want comfortable sleep," Sirius was now standing by Gwen, collecting the bottles, giving her glances to see if he picked the right ones. And he did.

"You need to shave, Sirius. This hair can stay, but the beard… Do something with it," she pinched his cheek, and turned with the essence in her hand. Sirius followed her as they descended in the Remus' room. He did look worse than usual, but Gwen knew he will patch him up until the meeting.

"Thanks, Gwen, you're really kind," Remus said, as he took the potions, one by one, laying in his bed. "How much do I owe you for this?"

"Don't insult me like that, Remus Lupin. I'm here living on other's expense, the least I can do is put my skills in good use. I'm good at potion making, and you need those. So, drink up, and be done with that modesty of yours," Gwen's voice was once again bold, and determined. Sirius watched her in awe, thinking about how she would make an excellent Minister of Magic.

"Thank you, I can't express how grateful I am," Remus said with a smile, opening the potion vials. "If there's anything I could do for you, let me know."

"Actually, you can. You'll help me with the downstairs bedrooms in a few days. I don't like boggarts, don't want to see boggarts, and I can't deal with them."

"Of course," Remus said, not even questioning her attitude. But Sirius was wondering what frightened Gwen so much, but remained silent.

"Right, now… Since this one," Gwen jerked her head in Sirius' direction. "Doesn't know how to cook a bloody egg, I'll make us some lunch. Sirius, refill the vials, will you?"

She left the room, leaving both Remus and Sirius speechless.

"She's…" Remus couldn't find a word, and looked at his old friend confused, but not in a bad way.

"Something. It's good to have her around, see?" Sirius said, grabbed the vials, and left to refill them.

When he entered Regulus', now Gwen's room, and took a good look at it. She really made the room nothing like it was before. She even managed to remove that nasty Slytherin emblem. He thought about asking her to remove his mother's portrait for he was refilling the potions, he spilt some on her books, but managed to prevent the damage with some quick thinking magic. He muttered a few swear words, when an idea came into his mind. He filled his coat pockets with vials for Remus, and waved his wand to gather all of Gwen's potions equipment. She just can't have that there.

* * *

Tonks arrived earlier than expected, and was now standing on the first step of the house. She entered slowly, and heard Molly, and Arthur Weasley laughing. She also heard Moody, Kingsley, Hestia, and Minerva McGonagall. It wasn't a surprise for her to be in the Order, though. Tonks' hair was in a peachy orange colour today, looking like a sunset. She chose a shoulder length wavy hairstyle with fringes. Her attire was subtle – a Muggle band T-shirt, a light ripped jeans, and of course her clunky boots. She was just in front of her biggest obstacle on the way to the dining room, the hideous umbrella stand, when she heard a hoarse voice from the stairs.

"Watch out, my reflexes are not that good to catch you now," Remus was walking down the stairs, and Tonks stopped as she watched at him. He looked tired, but not at all bad. Gwen's potions were really miraculous.

"Wotcher, Remus," she said brightly, happy to see him all well. She wasn't really sure why she felt so relieved by that. "How are you?"

"I've been better, but Gwen is really good at potion making. She made some remedies for me, and all I need is a good night's sleep. And you? Work and all?" he was approaching her, standing at a safe distance. All he could think about was the scene he saw before his transformation. This woman running through the sunflower field. And her hair… It was the colour of the sunset he saw. Exactly the same colour.

"Boring. Now when I know where Sirius is, there's nothing really going on there. Kingsley promised to make it a bit more interesting, though, can't wait what he has on his mind." Tonks said, and smiled shyly. Remus, however, returned the smile.

"Kingsley is quite dedicated, so I think he found the exact thing to keep you entertained. Also, I think with the guard duty, and the espionage, we will have to do… You'll be quite busy," Remus said calmly, with soft, smooth voice.

"Oh… how do you know that?" Tonks was wondering. Were they having an Order meeting without her?

"Snape was here yesterday, and he told Gwen and Sirius some things. I didn't really understand because Sirius is a terrible at recounting serious topics. I figured it's easier for me to just wait for the meeting."

"Right, well…"

Tonks sentence was interrupted with Dumbledore, and Snape entering the house. It was their cue, so Remus gestured Tonks to enter the room first.

"Tonks!"

She heard a familiar voice, turned, and saw Charlie Weasley, sitting next to his father. He was charging towards her, hugging her hard, and lifting her up.

"Charlie! Oh my…" she was really happy to see her old friend, but she was surprised to see him.

"I haven't seen you in ages!" He said, ruffling her hair. Tonks noticed that Gwen was now the one sitting left to Sirius, and Remus was in his usual spot. Gwen waved at her, smiling brightly, and Tonks returned the wave, and a smile. Gwen then returned with talking with Remus, and Kingsley. Tonks found that scene funny; a bookworm, and a two Ravenclaws having a conversation, with Sirius frowning between them. "Sit with me! I hope we'll have a time to share a drink afterwards." Charlie said, and pulled out a chair for her. Tonks sat, and smiled at Charlie thanking him, since she lost her place on the other side of the table. She felt kind of sad because of it. She was now placed diagonally from Remus, and Charlie was on her left. He looked even more bulky, and his hair was really grown, along with his beard. He looked more manly than before.

When Dumbledore, and Snape entered the room, all of the members went silent, waiting for Dumbledore to open the meeting.

"Good evening, my dear Order," Dumbledore said with his calm, but warm tone. "I'm sorry to call upon you on such a short notice, but we have some tragic information, and we need to work fast. But first, I would like to greet Miss Doherty," he showed in Gwen's direction, and all eyes were on her. She froze, and Sirius nudged her with his leg a bit. She smiled nervously, and nodded to Dumbledore. "I'm really glad to see you here, and joining us in our meeting, even though, if my mind serves me right, she still isn't our member."

Gwen now felt like an outcast, and her cheeks were blushing. Sirius nudged her again, but this time it was his hand on her thigh, tapping. She managed to pull a slight smile at him, and when she turned she noticed Snape's eyebrows rising.

"And of course, young Mister Weasley here, who joined us immediately," Dumbledore said, proud of his Gryffindor student. Charlie grinned, at all, and made a small wave. However, Tonks wasn't watching at her best friend. He looked at Remus trying to keep his focus, fidgeting with his fingers. Why was he such a distraction for her? Why was she not okay with sitting here with her best friend whom she hadn't seen in months? She wanted to sit there with him, Sirius, and well, Gwen. She stuffed her hands in her pockets, and felt little something she brought for Remus.

"Now, the prophecy about Harry and Voldemort is hidden in the Department of Mysteries. For those who doesn't know the story behind that, please talk with Alastor later. He will explain everything," Dumbledore said in a hurry, and Moody grunted. "I'm sorry for not having more time to talk, but this is very important. We must keep guard at both Harry, and the prophecy. Voldemort thinks it's essential for this war, and it mustn't fall into his hands. I talked with Severus, and he sorted you in pairs. You will now work together like that, until further notice. Severus paired you considering your skills, and compatibility. I must say I'm quite pleased with the pairings, and I hope you will all work just fine together. We must be very careful. I have some individual tasks for you, though. I would kindly ask all of those who work for the Ministry to open their eyes, and listen carefully. Every information, no matter how small it seems, can be crucial now. Charlie, I assume you'll do your best with our international connections, just like your older brother. Sirius, and I assume Gwendolyn now, will be responsible for the schedule since they will be staying here. Every time before taking shifts, I expect from all of you to report to them. No exceptions," Dumbledore pierced Snape with his blue eyes through his half-moon spectacles. Snape scoffed, and looked at Gwen, who gave him a little smile. "Molly, I expect from you to arrange the children to come here at once. The sooner, the better, but I want extreme caution with handling that, and I know you won't disappoint. Elphias, Emmeline, Hestia, you three will be talking with some people of interest. And we must start thinking about how to bring Harry here."

"Albus, I'll organize that," Moody grunted loudly, and Dumbledore nodded.

"Thank you, Alastor. I hope we will have the schedule soon, so we can start planning that," Dumbledore said, giving a meaningful look to Gwen and Sirius, who both nodded. "I'll leave you now to Severus. He will explain the pairings, and I expect one of you to be on the guard duty in the Ministry tonight. The prophecy is our highest priority, right below Harry's safety. What is important is for us to work together, and to open our eyes. I must go now, take care, my dear order! Severus, I give you my word, and place."

Dumbledore stood up, and left the dining room. Snape was the one standing on the opposite side of the table from Sirius, who rolled his eyes, almost soundly.

"Well, I'll firstly read the pairings…"

Tonks was rolling her eyes too, she hated Snape's voice because it reminded her of his lessons. She couldn't focus on his talking, figuring she will notice her name being mentioned. Her eyes, again, flew across the table, in a direction of Remus. But now, he was watching her too. When their eyes met, he smiled slightly at her. She felt her cheeks blushing, before she could morph it. Their eye contact lasted for a while, and none of them noticed Gwen nudging Sirius, grinning. She noticed them, and saw it as a proof of her before said statement. Tonks flinched when she heard her name.

"Nymphadora Tonks," Snape said with the emphasis on her first name. He did that whenever he caught her red handed in his class. "Will be paired with Remus Lupin."

Tonks turned towards Snape, maybe a little too rashly, knocking the table with her boot. She could almost hear Moody's deep breath of disappointment, but she didn't care. She felt overwhelmed, and confused. Why was she so… drawn to him? Why was she so twitchy? And most importantly, why was she looking forward now for her first mission with him? A lot of questions zoomed in her head, while Snape explained the tasks Dumbledore assigned to them. But Tonks couldn't focus on anything now. The same questions that were on her mind, was on Remus' too. And for the first time ever, Remus Lupin couldn't help but not focus. He just thought about the first mission. With Nymphadora Tonks.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I can't do my usual notes on this because next chapter will be all about Remadora :3
> 
> What did Tonks bring for Remus?
> 
> And what about the looks?
> 
> And what's up with Charlie?
> 
> What will happen on their first mission?
> 
> Stay tuned for more! Don't forget to let me know what you think!
> 
> xx


	10. The First Mission

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Couple of songs are present in this chapter!
> 
> Deep Purple - Highway Star
> 
> Led Zeppelin - Going to California
> 
> You can listen to them if you want! I advise you to for full mood :3

_14_ _th_ _of July 1995_

Remus woke up the following day feeling rather well. He was surprised with how his back wasn't hurting at all, and how his joints only stung a bit when he stretched in his bed. His room was similar to Gwen's. The place was filled with the double bed, mathcing nightstands, two dressers, and a working desk. Nothing much, but he was happy with it. Even though Sirius said it as a joke, he did chose this room because he could sneak into the library when he couldn't sleep. He slept in plain white T-shirt and a pair of boxers, and got himself out of the bed shortly after waking up. Remus was never the one to lay around, while Sirius and James loved to spend all weekend mornings in beds. The only thing that could prevent them were Quidditch practices, but when James became the captain, practices were never in the morning. Peter would sometimes go with Remus to study. He was shy to admit he can't do, or doesn't understand something in front of James and Sirius, but he would ask Remus for help without hesitation. Remus always helped Peter, and he remembered that a lot while teaching at Hogwarts.

Now, he was standing in front of the mirror, surprised by the reflection he was looking at. His new wounds were healing faster than he was used to. His skin didn't look as pale as it usually did on the first morning after the full moon. His eyes weren't red at all, and the dark circles under his eyes was hardly visible. „What in the Merlin's name happened to me?" Remus asked himself, stroking his beard with his palm. He ran his hand through his hair, which wasn't so grey. He looked... healthy? He wasn't sure what Gwen gave him, but he was surprised to see the result. The room was enlightened with warm summer sun, sneaking through the curtains. Remus opened the curtains slowly, and one thing remained the same. The sun bothered him the day after transforming, and his senses were still higher than usual. Remus then decided to take a shower. The feel of the cold water on his skin soothed him even more than before. When he dressed himself in his usual attire, he decided to find Gwen, and thank her for whichever witchcraft she did.

While he was descending from the third floor, he figured he doesn't even know what time it is, and he forgot his wrist watch in his room. He entered the dining room, only to find Gwen and Sirius talking quietly. They didn't even notice him entering, so Remus watched his friend grinning mischievously at the woman sitting next to him, holding a cup of some warm beverage. He faked a cough to make them notice him, and Sirius greeted him with a smile on his face.

„Moony... Merlin's beard, you look... surprisingly good. I guess the good night's, and well, day's sleep can do wonders to a werewolf," Sirius said a little bit too excited. Remus noticed that Sirius trimmed his beard, making his face more presentable.

„Morning Padfoot, morning Gwen," Remus greeted them, and walked into a kitchen. He really needed a tea to make this morning even better. He was surprised when he saw a pot half filled with some pasta. Remus stood confused for about five seconds, trying to make some sense out of what's happening. Is he dreaming?

„Morning? Remus, it's 5 in the afternoon. You slept all day. We left you something to eat," Gwen said through a soft laughter, amused with how confused Remus looked around himself. He gathered him self for a half of minute, just to fix himself some green tea. He then joined Sirius, and Gwen still confused.

„Hm, Gwen? What did you do to me?" he asked directly. Gwen was sitting right in front of him, and he saw Sirius grinning with the corner of his eye. „Stop grinning, Padfoot."

Sirius frowned, and looked at Gwen, whose eyes were sparkling with a spark both of them once had during their Hogwarts days.

„Told you I'm good at potions, and you're welcome," Gwen said playfully, and winked at Remus, who was now sure he was dreaming. „You drank 5 different potions yesterday, and those weren't for nothing. I worked as a healer. Well, volunteered more. And if I have to repeat again, I'm really good at potions."

Remus stared at her for a second. That wasn't an answer he wanted, and he wasn't sure that was an answer at all.

„No, don't get me wrong. I appreciate this, I must admit not even Madam Pomfrey did such... I don't even know what you did, but thank you. I really feel surprisingly good, and even I must admit I look good," he didn't mean it as a flatter. He wanted to say he looked better than before he went away, and definitely better than he thought he would.

„I just wanted to help. Besides, I love making potions, and if I'm staying here, I'll help you. In fact, Sirius and I were just discussing something," she darted Sirius meaningfully with a nasty look. Sirius flinched a bit, and now looked straight to Remus.

„Yes... Um, Moony... I know you will probably protest a lot on what we'll tell you now..." Sirius still wasn't used to talking to Remus. Not like he forgot, he just wasn't sure how to approach him. And it was mutual, because Remus was a bit afraid of telling Sirius things directly.

„Oh-oh... When you say something like that, it usually means I really won't like the idea," Remus lounged in his chair, crossing his arms on his chest. His look flown from Sirius to Gwen, who nudged Sirius to talk.

„Okay, we decided, and that mean you have no say in it because I really can't stand your modesty now, that I'll give Gwen money to buy the ingredients, so she could make you Wolfsbane..."

„Absolutely not." Remus said , raising his voice. It was enough he stayed there for free. He won't let Sirius spend his money on him anymore. Their friendship was just restored, and he didn't want to live completely on his expense. Ingredients for wolfsbane were expensive, and Remus could never afford them himself. Not without a steady job, and he wasn't paid for serving the Order.

„Told you," Sirius rolled his eyes, and let Gwen to take the lead.

„No, listen to me Remus..."

„No. Both of you. I appreciate this Gwen, but I don't want to be indebted to you, or you," he pointed his finger at Sirius.

„But I want to help you. If I wasn't here, you would be transforming here, right? I saw what you two made in the basement. I can make it, Severus taught me while you were teaching at Hogwarts. I'm quite sure you even drank one of mine already. I'm not asking you to, and I'm not offering. I will do it. I will make Wolfsbane each month, and you can't stop me," Gwen let a small smile at the end of the sentence. Sirius was now suppressing his laughter, and Remus looked at them with his eyebrows high. He didn't know what to say because she was right. He can't stop her.

„And if you don't drink it, she'll fill this whole house with it. Please, Moony, it's good for you, and I bet that smells like hell. Isn't this house enough smelly already?" Sirius patted Remus on his shoulder, and Remus lowered his guard by putting his hands down. He had to admit that he was defeated.

„Fine. But you have to let me at least do something for you to make it up to you." Remus said. „And I still don't know what you gave me."

„I already have the idea, but Sirius said you won't agree." Gwen said nervously, but she was determined the have it her way, obviously.

„Look at how pissed he'll be when you tell him, Gwen." Sirius grinned like crazy now.

„I want to see you transform. I always wanted to see a real life werewolf, and I never got the chance. So please, it'll be perfectly safe because I'm quite sure you don't want to eat me now. Hex me? Maybe. Curse me? Probably. But eat me? Hard no." Gwen's said determined, and Remus wasn't even sure if he heard it right now. Did she really just say that? But she was right. And he wasn't pissed. He was just surprised.

„Why in the name of bloody Merlin, and God himself, would you want to see a werewolf?" he asked her point blank. He knew while under the influence of Wolfsbane he won't do anything. If he ever doubted that, he would never accept the post in Hogwarts. And he was aware that what she just did was a check-mate. He can't escape this.

„I just want. I guess I'm a thrill seeker, I don't know. I understand this is an unusual request," she was interrupted by both of Remus' and Sirius' scoff. „But, you know nothing can happen."

Remus let out a loud sigh. He was defeated, so he stood up, and walked into a kitchen to get himself some of that leftover lunch. He can't stop her, and it will be the safest environment. And he felt like he owed her a lot more than that. When he tried Wolfsbane for the first time, he was sure he'll never have a chance to live with it. And now, for the second time in his life, the chance presented itself to him. The feeling of transforming under the influence of a potion was painful as any other time, but he would be aware of everything around him. He will remember. He will feel. He could control himself from making new scars. He wouldn't have to fight the wolf possesing him for a night. He won't be scared. The thought of it made his heart beat faster, and he again remembered the sunflower field he saw last night. And Tonks. He grabbed himself some pasta, warming it up with his wand, shaking his head. He placed himself in his usual place again, and started eating, ignoring both Gwen and Sirius who were staring at me.

„You're staring at me, and it's really uncomfortable. I like to eat without being watched, so please," he said, pulling a sarcastic smile on his face.

„Is that a yes?" Gwen said, happily.

„As you said, I can't stop you. But only once. Please. I'm not... comfortable with... well," he didn't finish the sentence. He didn't have to, he was too hungry, so he continued to eat.

„Yes! Told you I'll get him to do it!" Gwen stuck out her tounge right at Sirius face.

„That was before you got me on that Wolfsbane idea. You're not playing fair, or nice," Sirius said, and Remus shook his head when he heard his words. Out of all of the Marauders, Sirius was the one who was almost never playing fair. „Don't you dare saying anything, Moony."

„I won't, I won't. I actually fancy this meal too much to spoil it with your drama," Remus smiled, and started eating again.

„Hah! Even your partner in crime left you," Gwen said, and turned to Remus who almost choked on his bite when he heard her choice of words. „I'm sorry, Remus, we did something else too. Look, the schedule for the guard. We divided you into three groups, see?"

Gwen was now showing Remus a long piece of parchment. He couldn't see what was written on it, so he made a head gesture, chewing his food.

„Well... There are three tasks. First one, Harry. You're not on this one, so we'll skip that one. However, you and Tonks will be keeping an eye on this potential Death pricks, and she will occasionally guard the prophecy. You know, when you're... Well, down there."

„Mhm," Remus nodded with his mouth full. He never imagined he will feel so okay with being in this building. This was nice, having someone to talk to, having Sirius around, having a place to stay, a food to eat, Wolfsbane... It really felt like a dream, but by the taste of the food he was eating, he knew it wasn't

„I thought of that," Sirius grinned proudly.

„Oh, all I had to do is sleep all day to make you more productive? If I knew that, I would get Peter to knock me out every once in a while, while we were in school," Remus said mockingly, finishing his meal.

„Oh, ha-ha, you're so funny," Sirius' tone was sarcastic, but that was their kind of humour. Putting each other down without getting angry. „And fuck Peter!"

„I am funny when I want to be," Remus stood up to get the dishes from the table.

„Anyway, you and Tonks will start tomorrow. Severus gave me all the information for your missions after the meeting," Gwen said, rolling up the parchment.

„Thank Merlin you're here, if I had to coordinate with Snape, I would burst into flames like a pheonix," Sirius said, summoning himself a bottle of firewhiskey and a crystal glass. „Only without that fancy rebirth thing. I would just burn to death."

Remus noticed the change in Sirius' behaviour. He would almost always call Snape Snivellus. And he was somehow calmer. It seemed like he was happy for not being alone. He now had two roommates, three if he counted Buckbeak, and it must've been a nice change.

„Alright," Remus said, watching them. He suddenly felt the urge to leave the room. „I'll be in the library if you need me. Again, Gwen, thank you. For everything."

Gwen gave him a sincere and warm smile. She was content with herself, and it was visible on her face. Remus turned, and left the room. He felt the need to be alone, to process all that was happening. Again, he was surprised how walking up the stairs wasn't tiring him as usual. He felt really good, not sick or tired at all. Although, he was kind of worried how will he sleep tonight.

He closed the library's door when he entered, and walked in front of the tall bookshelves. He was looking for a right book, even though he wasn't sure what he was looking for. He picked a purple, dusty book titled _Humans and human kinds._ He placed himself in an armchair, at turned it a bit so the Sun would be pointed directly into the book. The Sun's warmth made him feel comfortable, as much as he could be in this dusty, old place. For now, they managed to get everything out of the library, and Gwen did a remarkable job with cleaning charms. Of course Sirius didn't clean it. Impossible. It looked unkempt, but a lot less than before. It was a nice change. His room was okay, and the bathrooms on the first, third and fourth floor. The kitchen was looking rather good now when Molly made it look that way because she refused to cook before doing so. Dining room as well. Sirius' room could be cleaner, but it was expected, and Gwen's room was as good as Remus'. The master bedroom was given to the hippogriff, just out of Sirius' spite towards his mother, who was unusually quiet. The place still needed a thorough cleaning, but it was way better than before.

Remus read the book he chose carefully, and was a bit disappointed when he figured it is a guide to various conditions, or better said, abilities humans can be born with. He read the book further and further, as time passed by. He heard Sirius laughing, and Buckbeak's squawks. Gwen was upstairs, he heard her passing by earlier. It was a nice summer evening, as nice as it could be in a place like this. Whenever something happened that he needed to process, he would bury himself in books, and he really needed to set his mind straight. Sirius and Gwen placed him in front of the wall, and all he could do is agree. His mind was suddenly on something entirely else. As he read the big red letters saying METAMORPHMAGUS, he remembered Tonks. Tonks running through the sunflowers field. Why did he see her? He used to see different things, like Scottish castles, plains in York, or seashore. If he saw people, that would usually be his friends, and that hasn't happened since Hogwarts. Until now. He was really curious with the mission that was given to him and to young Auror. They will, most possibly, be on a stakeout, spying on some Death Eater. Tonks seemed like a really interesting person. She was really young, and yet she was a full-trained Auror. Trained by Alastor Moody himself. And she was a metamorphmagus. And she was running across his sunflower fields. Why? That answer he couldn't find in any of the books, not even in his head. So he decided to read. This way he could discuss her abilities with her without feeling like a fool. An old fool.

* * *

It was 9 o'clock, and Tonks wasn't tired at all. She was usually in bed by 11, but that will not happen tonight. Her record player was playing some 70's Muggle rock 'n' roll. She was just finishing her reports, when she saw an owl waiting to enter at her window. She let the owl in, surprised with the fact that someone is writing to her in that time. Tonks gave an owl a cracker, patted it, and took her letter. It was signed with a big G, so she figured it's from Gwen. It said that she has a mission with Remus Lupin tomorrow, and that she needs to report in the headquarters at 6 in the afternoon. Alright, that gives her about three hours after work to prepare herself. She was kind of disappointed that Gwen didn't write what kind of mission is it, so she could dress properly, or... Whatever.

Tonks threw herself on the couch, closing her eyes. Even after the second meeting of the Order she attended, she was still in a disbelief that she was chosen to be in it at all. It was surreal, but it was indeed real. It felt real. She was excited, and her heart beat a bit faster by the thought of the tomorrow's mission. When she heard the next song, Deep Purple's _Highway Star_ , she jumped from her couch, and started dancing around the room.

She wasn't good at dancing as dancing, but she didn't care when she was alone. She loved the music, the vibes, the groove. She kicked her legs, letting her energy go out. She was excited, and full of adrenaline. All she had to do was a day at work, and if everything goes as she's planning, tomorrow she'll be on the field with Kingsley. As she danced, she thought about how interesting the next day will be. Her work, the order work... Remus Lupin. She was relieved to find out she will be paired with him. She kind of hoped she'll be, still not sure why. If she ever saw him on the streets, and if he hadn't had those scars on his face, she wouldn't even notice him. He was someone she would highly doubt to have anything in common. She would avoid talking to someone who looked so... sheepish. And then again, he was not a sheep. He was a wolf. Well, a werewolf.

And that was something that fascinated Tonks. He looked so calm, peaceful... She would never expect someone like him to be a werewolf. She would never expect a werewolf to be a part of the Order of the Pheonix, or attending and teaching at Hogwarts. She would never expect a werewolf to be that kind of gentleman. She would never expect a werewolf to comment on her Led Zeppelin T-shirt she wore for the last meeting.

_After Snape was done with his presentation, and he gave the instructions to all of them, most of the Order members stayed for dinner. Molly, once again, prepared a delicious pot roast for them, and Tonks chatted with Charlie while she ate. She learned that Charlie became one of the leaders in his dragons research team. He was still single, and was desperate to get her out for a drink. She finally agreed, even though she was quite tired, and wanted to just go to sleep._

_She was just waiting for Charlie to come back from the bathroom, so they could be on their way when Remus approached her._

_„Hello there," he said softly, and his hoarse voice distracted her from her sleeves. Of course, she talked to him today, and to Sirius and Gwen too, right after the meeting, while Molly was finishing the meal. Suddenly she felt more nervous, but didn't really notice it at first._

_„Wotcher, Remus," she said, giving him a wide smile. He returned the gift with a smaller, but a significant smile. He looked tired, but he wasn't so pale as he was the last time she saw him. The dark circles under his blueish green eyes were still really visible, even more with him smiling. But he looked younger than before, lighter._

_„I'm sorry, but I wanted to ask you this since you came here today. It is a bit odd, but I saw your shirt, and was wondering... You like Led Zeppelin?" Remus pointed at her shirt shyly, looking like he asked her something embarrassing._

_„Of course! They rock so hard! Well, they did. Why are you asking? I wasn't aware someone listens to them here... Never crossed my mind, actually." Tonks said, trying to tone down her excitement. She loved music, and she was really glad when she talked about it._

_„They are one of my favourites. Pad's too, but he liked punk more. You forget I grew up in the '70s." Remus smiled lightly, and Tonks found him more interesting with this fact said out loud._

_„Lucky bastard! The best music was made then. And well, the '80s. Wow, I'm surprised someone here listens to Muggle music. How come?"_

_„Well, my mother was a Muggle, so I got a lot from her. In fact, I still have some records from my teenage collection. If I remember correctly, all of the Zeppelin's are there."_

_„That's brilliant, I once morphed my hair to look like Robert Plant's. But it didn't really fit me on my normal, non-morphed face." Tonks said, and figured he must've been wondering how does she really look like. The fact was, she wasn't morphed now. All accept her hair was natural, her._

_„Oh... I don't..." Remus stuttered. He was indeed curious about what she really looks like, but couldn't ask her straight forward. She saw the tension that was built up in him._

_„And that would be this face," she said, pointing at her own face. „Non-morphed now. Well, all except hair."_

_„Oh, I see..." Remus didn't manage to finish his thought when Charlie interrupted him._

_„Okay, now we're ready to go. Let's go Tonks!" Charlie said, clapping his hands._

_„Right," Tonks said not so thrilled. For some reason, she would much rather like to stay at Grimmauld Place for a little bit longer, and then just go home to sleep. She felt old when that thought crossed her mind, but couldn't help herself. „See you Remus! I guess it'll be soon, partner!" she stood up, and winked at Remus. What was with her and all that winking? Especially to Remus._

_„Take care," Remus just stood there, feeling a bit stupid. He was kind of sad that their conversation ended so quickly. As Tonks was leaving the room, she waved to Gwen and Sirius, who were whispering at the end of the table. Both of them waved back at her, and continued with their whispering. Whispering about how Remus went to kitchen to get himself some chocolate, for sure._

Tonks was still dancing, while the flashbacks from her night out with Charlie zoomed her head. It was fun, but she wasn't really in the mood. Charlie figured it out, so he let her off the hook. Although, she had to promise to him that they will have another drink before he leaves in three days. And now, with her mission, she wasn't so sure that was possible. But of course, now when they both are in the Order, they are bound to spend more time together, right? The record stopped, and Tonks stopped dancing. She fell on her couch again, breathing quickly. Her breaths were shallow, and she felt so alive. Still impressed with the fact that both Sirius and Remus liked Muggle music, Tonks went back to do her reports. When she finally got to bed, she fell asleep quickly, dreaming about the biggest open-air rock concert ever. And there she was. With Sirius, Remus, and Gwen, who told her all about her non-remembered Woodstock experience. It was a calming, nice dream, making her feel so content the following morning. She felt just like the first day at Hogwarts. Only better, more intense.

* * *

_15_ _th_ _of July 1995_

Tonks' day at work passed by quicker than usual. Kingsley did take her on the field, and they did some check ups. The excuse was that they were researching dark magic, and potential meeting places of dark wizards, and maybe hiding places of Sirius Black. In fact, they investigated the premises Dumbledore assumed are used for the Death Eater meetings. Kingsley asked her what she thinks about the Order, and she managed to get her excitement to a healthy level, not wanting to sound like a teen girl waiting for her first night out. They shared a lunch, and Kingsley got her some tips about working undercover. Sure Tonks was trained, but in the first year of doing Auror job, junior Aurors would tail the senior ones, gathering experience on the field. And it was her first real Order mission.

It wasn't like she needed any. Moody trained her, and prepared her for everything, so she was really self-assured about staying alive. However, she was glad to get some advice from someone who was doing this job longer than her. Kingsley has been in the office for at least 15 years, just finishing his training during the final years of the previous war. He talked about his experience during the first war, and how to stay focused on what really mattered. Tonks appreciated those advices, making her worries at least tone down a bit. She was a bit nervous about her mission, now. She wasn't sure what will happen, and if she's going to embarrass herself in front of Remus. Actually, she was quite sure she will fall, or do something else embarrassing, but that was life for Nymphadora Tonks.

She got home shortly after finishing her work, and had two and a half hour to get ready. The bed looked so tempting, because she was quite sleepy. She was never the one to get out of bed easily, she would much rather stay in bed for hours after waking up on her days off. Eventually, Tonks decided to take a short power nap. She undressed herself into her underwear, and fell asleep easily. She slept for an hour and a half, and woke up a bit later than expected. Now Tonks didn't have time to lay around, so she jumped out of the bed, and headed to the bathroom for a shower. The tepid water soothed her, and she felt more rested than before. When it came to picking clothes, she was indecisive. As always. But the time rushed her to choose another Muggle band T-shirt, this time the band was the Rolling Stones, and a pair of skinny jeans, combined with her combat boots. Her hair was magenta pink, chin length and curly. The mission will, most likely, take all night, and Tonks was happy that Kingsley gave her the day off. He was the only one who could do that, except Scrimgeour, and he used his power well. She grabbed a Hufflepuff coloured cardigan, and her rucksack.

While she was looking for her keys, she found a gift she forgot to give to Remus on the last meeting. A chocolate bar from her favourite candy shop in the Diagon Alley. She passed by it just the other day, and remembered how she devoured Remus' chocolate from the secret stash. The decision was made, the chocolate must be given to Remus today, so she packed it in her rucksack. She also packed a glass bottle, because they will probably be thirsty in one point, and Moody taught her – never use anyone else's bottle. Always bring your own. Of course, she doubted Remus would do anything wrong to her. Wand? Check. Rucksack? Check. Keys? Check (even though she didn't really need them). She was good to go.

When she entered the Grimmauld Place, she heard Sirius' bark like laughter accompanied by Gwen's soft and decadent one. They were in a sitting room on the first floor, making notes on the schedule.

„Wotcher!" she greeted them brightly, and they both greeted her back, and pointed her to the library to find Remus, so they could give them instructions. Tonks obeyed, but she didn't know Gwen and Sirius did this on purpose. They purposely made them go on a mission together as soon as possible, and they picked the most boring one – stakeout. Sirius was still keen on the idea that there is nothing going on, but Gwen was even more sure Tonks likes Remus after the meeting. Their bet amused both of them, and they weren't hurting anybody in the process.

Tonks remembered where the library is from the time Sirius took her and Remus to see Gwen. Then, he had to mention where Remus' room is, and even offered to her to stay in the room next to his. She opened the door carefully, only to find Remus nose deep in some history of magic book. Boring.

„Wotcher Remus! Sorry to interrupt you..." she said with a nervous smile, and he lifted his look to smile back at her softly.

„Oh, hello. I must've lost the track of time. How are you?" he asked politely, putting the book on the coffee table. „Talk to me while I get my... things."

He looked so confused as he rushed to his room, passing by Tonks.

„I'm fine, took a real good power nap," she followed him, and stood on the doorstep of his room, as she watched him taking his coat jacket, and various trinkets he stuffed into his pockets. Only then, Tonks realised how healthy, and well he looked. He looked younger than usual, and he was more... zestful. His face had the most colour she's seen until then, and he didn't look ill as usual, at all. „And you? You look rather well. I always imagined..."

„Usually it is just as you probably imagined it," Remus interrupted, now standing right in front of her. He noticed how much taller he is, and how soft her skin looked like. She noticed the depth of his eyes, which were now gleaming at her. „But Gwen is a miracle maker, I can honestly say that. She made some potions. I don't know what she put into them, but I feel rather good, and ready to go!"

They shared a smile, as he gestured her to go downstairs. They small talked while descending, and Tonks entered the sitting room first, just as Remus gentlemanly gestured, once again. She was feeling overwhelmed with the treatment he gave her. The only one she knew who behaved like that was his father towards her mother, and Tonks figured it must be some Muggle thing, considering their backgrounds.

„Here they are!" Sirius said cheerfully.

„Yes. So, what are we doing tonight? Hexing some dark plonkers?" Tonks said eagerly.

„Well, I hope not," Gwen said calmly, and smiled to both of them. „You'll spy on a one known Death Eater. Severus thinks he's involved with my attack, and I want no one else investigating it but you two. I would do..."

„No need to explain yourself, Gwen," Remus said, because at this point, he felt like he would do anything for a woman who made him feel so good after the full moon. And she hadn't even touched him. The woman's touch was the other thing that soothed Remus after the full moon, but this was even better. He felt confident, still unsure why. He looked at Tonks, who was a bit disappointed not to hex anyone tonight, but still excited.

„Don't worry Gwen, if I get the chance, I'll do exactly what you did to Yaxley," she winked, and stepped forward to pick up the paper Gwen was now handing to her. It had written address, and both of their names.

„It's visible only to the four of us, and of course Dumbledore, so you don't have to be afraid of losing it," Gwen said grinning proudly. She was proud to show how powerful she is, and the proofs of that were all over the room. She brought Sirius back to life, she made Remus feel and look good after the full moon, and she showed Tonks what she's capable of already. Well, not all, but Tonks was smart enough to make her own conclusions. Remus looked over Tonks' shoulder, and figured it's something similar as the spell he himself put on the Marauder's map. He was happy to see his friend finding another friend, who inspired him to do something useful to himself and to others. This way he was less concerned about Sirius wanting to break out of the house.

„Right," Tonks said, putting the paper in her rucksack. „Then see you in the morning?"

„Of course, I'll make you some nice breakfast. Be here by 7. The bastard works at the Ministry, so he'll be off to work then, and his wife is not really interesting." Gwen said with a devilish spark in her eyes only Sirius noticed, and was amused with it.

„Oh, where have you been all my life? A breakfast after the mission? I might fall in love with you, woman," Tonks said jokingly, and headed towards the exit. Of course, Remus let her out before him, as he waved to Gwen and Sirius, and left the room quietly. In a second, Remus and Tonks stood on the first front step, and this time she grabbed his arm even before he offered it. He laughed a bit on that, and apparated them. It will definitely be an interesting night.

* * *

It was almost midnight, and Remus and Tonks sat on pillows Remus kindly summoned for them. They talked about education, mostly. Tonks enjoyed the conversation, and was surprised to hear about the mischiefs the Marauders did, and Remus had gave her only the crumbs of what they really did. However, he liked talking to her. She was so lively, and her laughter was so funny to him. The stakeout was boring at best, nothing happened, and by now Remus was sure nothing will happen.

„So... The Rolling Stones for today?" Remus asked, pointing at her shirt.

„Yes! I like Mick Jagger's energy. All of them actually."

„You know, while we were at Hogwarts, even witches were crazy about the Stones," Remus said, with the emphasis on witches. „I think that the first Muggle rock song I got Sirius to listen to was _Satisfaction_. Oh Merlin, was he impressed by it!"

„Really? My mother loves them too," Tonks said, suddenly questioning if that's connected.

„Of course she does, he bought that leather jacket shortly after, and began terrorising all the Blacks with Muggle music. As I understood, your mother was impressed by that. I think she was already disowned, though... But she bought Sirius a bunch of records, and a record player, just to piss old Walburga off." Remus chuckled, and Tonks never heard that story. She was amused to hear about her mother's rebellion, even though Andromeda didn't like to talk about it.

„My mother the record dealer, totally unexpected. I always thought my father was the one to introduce her to rock 'n' roll," Tonks said with a small laughter in her voice.

„Maybe he did, but I guess Sirius hooked her on it," Remus said, fidgeting his wand like a drum stick in his long fingers. Tonks noticed how nice his hands were, even though they had some scars. „You know we even got to see the Zeppelin? In Denmark, 1979, before all the chaos."

„Oh my holy fucking Merlin, what?" Tonks shrieked a bit too loud, and Remus chuckled at her reaction, glad he put protective charms around the place they were sitting.

„Yes, Sirius, James, Peter, Lily, Dorcas, Marlene, and me. We were so scared of Dumbledore, but he was delighted to hear we want a night off for some pure fun. He was really reluctant to accept us in the order because we were so young... Too young." Remus sighed, figuring Tonks is only a few years older than he was when he joined the fight, and yet she seemed much more mature, and not to mention more capable than all of them.

„Tell me more! I want to know!" She was excited like a little girl, and she had to admit that Remus' voice was so relaxing, hoarse with a note of mischief in it. She listened carefully, as Remus talked about the concert, and how drunk Sirius and James were. He told her the story about Sirius being in an on-off relationship with Marlene McKinnon then, which Tonks didn't know, even though she knew about Marlene. Of course she did her research on the first Order, and Moody told her who was in it.

„Oh the 70s, I miss them," Remus said with melancholy in his voice, still sligthly smiling.

„Well, I must admit I never expected to hear a story like this from someone like you," Tonks said, and figured how poor her choice of words was. Remus raised his eyebrows, feeling a bit offended. „No, I didn't mean that. I must admit, when you talk about all of that I sometimes forget that you're a werewolf. What I meant was, you look like a pretty normal bloke, quiet, a bit shy... It's rather surprising hearing you're nothing like that."

„Well, I was..."

„You still are, I can see it in you, Remus Lupin!" She said, nudging him with her shoulder. The physical contact between them was something that made both of them stop for a second, and share a look.

„Oh you can, can you?" He said jokingly.

„I can. You may be the Marauder, but I was a prankster myself. And I used my," she shifted her pink locks into various shades of yellow, red, green, and blue. „Thing to make myself impossible. Look at this!"

She stood up, and managed to morph herself to look entirely like Snape. Remus was terrified, but amused by the sight in front of him. She was so funny, so vibrant. He couldn't suppress his laughter anymore, so he burst into laughter.

„You think that's funny?" she said in a Snape kind of voice, and morphed into McGonagall. „Mister Lupin, I think the Gryffindor house is proud to have you!" her voice was now sounding kind of like McGonagall, and Remus laughed a bit harder. Tonks than turned into Sirius. „Oi, Moony mate, get me some firewhiskey and a couple of tavern wenches!" Tonks said, and was now laughing with him, morphing to her usual self. Remus was still laughing, holding his stomach. When they finally calmed themselves, he looked at her with a spark in his eyes.

„I can't remember the last time I laughed this hard," he said and let out a loud sigh.

„I'm here to amuse you, professor Lupin!" Tonks bowed a bit.

„What did I tell you about Lupin thing? Don't, I really don't like it. For every Lupin, I get at least two Nymphadoras."

„That's so not fair!" she jumped, and nudged him harder than before.

„Oh I'm sorry, fairness isn't the Marauders style," for the first time, Tonks saw the mischievous spark in Remus' eyes. Now she understood why he told her earlier that Moony and Remus are a bit different. She was sure that this spark, that was Moony. The rest of the night they joked, and talked more about music, and their school days. They liked similar music, classic Muggle rock, and even some of the same wizarding bands. Tonks was impressed with Remus, because she never thought she'll have that much in common with him. Talking to him was nice, he was nice. And he was so amused by her small comments. They shared a chocolate she brought for him. Since it melted a bit, Tonks smeared a bit on her face inintentionally. For the first time, Remus was not the gentleman at first, and smeared some more on her face, because she teased him to be a chocoholic. Of course, he cleaned her up with one move of his wand, taking a good look at her heart-shaped, wrinkle free, young face. Her big blue eyes sparkled with amusement, and he found that particular scene... Soothing. Just like he did on the night of the full moon.

They came back to Grimmauld Place in the morning, and shared a breakfast with Gwen and Sirius. Tonks took the chance immediately to mock Sirius, who was really grumpy that Gwen woke him up that early. But the breakfast with Remus and Tonks was mandatory. That woman really wanted to prove her point, so Sirius had no choice. Gwen still had the devilish spark in her eyes, and it grew bigger when Tonks left. She noticed the soft smile Tonks gave to Remus before leaving the house, and of course he walked her out. They didn't see it, but Gwen stuck out her tounge so much to Sirius, who was now a bit shaken, and for the first time he believed that Gwen might be right. There is something. Because he never, ever, EVER saw his friend Moony looking so... Smitten.

Remus got to his room right after walking Tonks out, and he was quite tired, but still couldn't sleep. He felt like he was in the Sun for hours, warm and content. That was strange. He would never expect to feel like that after the Order mission. Tonks felt like the Sun, so warming, vibrant, bright, colourful. And he felt like he had a sunstroke.

Tonks couldn't sleep either. She stared at her ceiling, impressed with the last night. She didn't think about it then, but she felt better than after any date, or night she spent with any man. She felt full, and so surprised with the man Remus Lupin is. She couldn't wait to spend more time with him, and both Sirius and Gwen. She finally felt like she belonged somewhere. And currently, she felt like she belonged in that house with them. She got up, and let the record play Led Zeppelin IV, song seven _Going to California_. Remus mentioned it's one of his favourites. As the music played, Tonks fell asleep with an unusal smile on her face.

_Someone told me there's a girl out there_

_With love in her eyes and flowers in her hair..._

_-Led Zeppelin, Going to California_

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here's the first mission of our sweet Remadora.
> 
> Next time... Order's meeting, Tonks being brilliant, Remus being smitten, Gwen being right, and Sirius being defeated. All with a dash of Snape being snarky.
> 
> Don't forget to let me know what you think! I love the reviews, messages on tumblr...
> 
> xx


	11. Birthday no.1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Writing shy, kind of flirty Remadora gives me happy feelings :3
> 
> The next chapter is done, just proofreading an it's on!
> 
> Will we have another Remadora moment? Of course we will!
> 
> And what happened at Grimmauld Place in the night when the Dementors attacked Harry?
> 
> Don't forget to let me know what you think... xx

_25_ _th_ _of July 1995_

The day of another Order meeting came, and Tonks didn't get her invitation. Instead, Kingsley told her after visiting Grimmauld Place in the morning. Tonks and Remus had their missions every other day, and it was easier for Remus, who could just go to sleep after a whole night stakeout. Tonks, however, learned how to function differently than before. She would go straight to work after mission, and there wasn't a morning Gwen hadn't been waiting for them with a delicious breakfast. It wasn't Molly's cooking, but Tonks had to admit that Gwen is a great cook. She hasn't seen much of Sirius though. After third breakfast he called it off, and demanded not to be woken up that early. Gwen gave up, and let him sleep. Kreacher stopped hiding, and was now cursing all of them polishing his Mistress' portrait.

But it was difficult for Tonks to keep her focus, and that's why Kingsley took to accompany him on his fieldwork. In that case, she didn't have to write reports. And since he was mostly on prophecy guard alone, he did it then. To be honest, Tonks could do them on her stakeout with Remus, but they were too busy talking. The Death Eater they've been spying had quite boring life, and they couldn't just barge into his house. Their stakeout today was cancelled due to a meeting, and on the last one Tonks was so tired, she dozed off. It wouldn't be so embarrassing if her head hadn't fallen to Remus' shoulder, and he couldn't handle waking her up, so he didn't move for about an hour. When she woke up, she was so flustered, afraid that she snored or drooled all over him. He found that funny, so he just smiled without words.

Tonks got used to working with Remus quite easily. With each night they spent on a stakeout, she found him more and more interesting. She was aware he is not telling her the whole story about his little Hogwarts gang, but she let it slide. Even though he wasn't really hiding his Marauder side, he was still quite secretive, and didn't like to talk much about personal things. He said much, but never said anything. And Tonks was too shy to ask. For the first time ever, she felt shy. She figured he was one of those who don't open up easily, and decided that she will respect that. More so because she couldn't really help herself with being shy around him.

For tonight's meeting, she chose to wear the Weird Sisters shirt, ripped jeans, and a pair of All Star trainers. The biggest change she did was her hair. Suddenly, she wasn't quite satisfied with pink. She wanted to be… more visible? Her hair was now almost neon green, and impossible not to notice. Tonks was satisfied with that. She felt so great, and she felt like everybody, except maybe Moody and Snape, will appreciate her hair colour change. Maybe Sirius will invite her to sit with them again. Not like it mattered, she just didn't feel like sitting with Emmeline, and Elphias through the whole meeting. Too close to Snape, and McGonagall. That meant she needs to be focused, and calm, and she wasn't capable of doing that. She got to the Headquarters earlier than usual, and her way was obstructed by Gwen exiting the sitting room.

"Wotcher, Red," Tonks said cheerfully. Gwen turned to see her, and a wide smile appeared on her face. She was wearing dark purple summer dress, and a black robe on it. Something that looked like Snape's robe, but for women. It surely wasn't Snape's since it fitted Gwen perfectly. Her hair was in a high, messy bun on top of her head, and she seemed to be in a really good mood.

"Oh hello, Tonks, I was wondering when will you come," Gwen walked towards Tonks and hugged her. It wasn't something she usually did, but Tonks went for it. Never refuse a hug from nice people, that was one of her mantras.

"Oh, you did? Did you need something? I can go an…" Tonks pointed towards the door. She knew Gwen couldn't leave the house alone, and she didn't even want to, actually. She spent her days reading in the library, and Remus was her company when he was home. Sirius spent a lot of time with Buckbeak, and they let him. Sometimes he would join them, but he got bored by reading too easily.

"No, no. Severus brought me all I need, don't worry about that. I wanted to talk with you about the schedule, come with me," she grabbed Tonks' hand, and dragged her to the dining room. This time Tonks didn't even trip over that hideous umbrella stand. So, she just needs to be led or caught by someone to not trip. Great.

Gwen sat on the chair that was left from Sirius' usual chair. "Sit with me." Neither Sirius or Remus were present in the room. The only ones there were McGonagall and Snape, who nodded politely to Tonks. She waved at them in a military way when they entered the room.

"So, how do you like working with Remus?" Gwen asked her, summoning them two glasses of cranberry and raspberry juice from the kitchen.

"He's nice, and funny too," Tonks smiled slightly, not even noticing. But Gwen noticed.

"I'm glad you two get along so nicely. He told the same thing for you," Gwen said, and Tonks was surprisingly glad to hear that. It made her heart beat a bit faster.

"He did?"

"Of course, why wouldn't he?" Gwen smiled, and her eyes sparkled with that devilish spark. Again. Just in that moment, Sirius and Remus entered the room, followed by Hestia, Kingsley and Moody.

"Tonksie!" Sirius said loudly. "That hair!"

"It's awful," Moody grunted behind him. "Nice to see you, lasses!" He greeted both Gwen, and Tonks, and sat next to McGonagall, and they started a conversation almost immediately. Kingsley sat next to Hestia, leaving a place next to Remus empty. Remus and Sirius, of course, sat in their usual spots.

"Don't listen to Moody, what does he know about punk rock?" Sirius said with a grin on his face.

"I listen to him only when I had to. And the choice of my hair colour is my choice only!" Tonks gave a high-five to Sirius.

"That colour… really is something," Remus said, and he couldn't get his eyes off her. "How are you? Have you caught up with your sleep?"

"I'm fine. Well, mostly, but I'm kind of glad we're not going anywhere tonight. And you?"

"Fine, fine. Slept like a baby while you were working," Remus said mockingly. He started to mock joke with her only on their last mission, and Tonks figured it's his way of accepting her.

"That's true. He snored so hard it even woke me up!" Sirius said in a sad baby voice.

"Oh, ha-ha-ha. Gwen, please, wake them both up next time. The earlier you wake them, the better!" Tonks nudged Gwen, who was watching both Sirius and Remus.

"No problem. They don't know it, but I figured the way to wake both of them up in a second," Gwen smiled to Tonks. "So, I've been wanting to tell you that since you two like working together, your schedule will remain the same."

A small thud interrupted them, but they didn't notice where it came from. That was Sirius, kicking Gwen's shins under the table. They planned something different, but Gwen went rogue. As Tonks turned to figure the source of the thud, she noticed that Elphias Doge came, and sat with Moody, McGonagall, and Snape. Snape looked rather grumpy. He darted Gwen with his eyes, but Tonks pretended not to notice that.

"So, you continue with the stakeouts on 27th." Gwen concluded.

"No, sorry… I forgot to tell you," Tonks suddenly remembered. Her birthday was on the 27th of July, and she had to go to her parents for a lunch, or dinner. It was mandatory. "I can't on 27th."

"Oh…" Gwen sighed, not knowing what to say. She was a bit struck by this news.

"Oh, does my baby cousin has a date? Who's the lucky bloke?" Sirius wiggled his eyebrows, and Tonks frowned. Sirius knew Tonks was born during the summer, but he didn't know the exact date. With the tension in the Black family then, Andromeda forgot to mention it, and Sirius never asked.

"I don't have a…" She noticed Remus looking at her, and her cheeks blushing. Why is she blushing? "I have a dinner with my parents. Or lunch… You see my…"

But she didn't manage to finish her sentence. Arthur Weasley entered the room, with most of the Weasley kids tailing him. Well, all of those who were still at school were there. And one girl who was definitely not a Weasley. Tonks looked at Gwen, who looked rather surprised. She looked at Sirius, who frowned. None of them expected Arthur to bring the children today. Well, Remus did.

"Oh, the children are here," Remus said, happy to see his former students. He knew how worried Molly was to leave them for the guard duty, and she felt safer with them being at the Grimmauld Place since Dumbledore said it's the safest place. Molly rushed from the kitchen to hug all of her children, and give a brief kiss to her husband.

"Why aren't you surprised just like the rest of us?" Sirius nudged Remus, and showed himself, Gwen and Tonks. Remus switched his look, to them and laughed.

"Because Snape said so at the last meeting? But you two," he pointed at Gwen and Sirius, "were too busy chuckling, and giggling like two… well, not even them chuckle like that." He now showed at Ginny and Hermione, who stood awkwardly on the doorstep. "And I don't know what you were doing, Tonks, but you were the closest to Snape, so…"

Tonks felt ashamed a bit. He was right. She should be aware of everything around her, and she let herself forget this… But why? What was she thinking about? Right. Him. It was after Snape paired them, and Tonks thought about their mission.

"I was… distracted." She said, lowering her look. She didn't notice whole children clan approaching them.

"Hello professor Lupin," the only redhead girl greeted her ex-professor. All of the kids did shortly after that."

"Hello Ginny, and Hermione, and Fred, and George, and Ron, of course. How's your summer?"

Tonks was so impressed by the fact he knew his students by their names. And how happy they were to see him. Of course, she knew all of the Weasley children, but haven't seen them in a while now. She imagined Remus was a good teacher, but it seemed like the students really liked him. She didn't even notice Remus introducing Gwen to the children. She flinched only when she heard her name. First name.

"… Nymphadora Tonks. But she prefers just Tonks, and I believe some of you already know her," Remus finished, locking his eyes on her. She was flustered, and her hair changed into violent orange for a second or two. All of the children waved shyly at them, and stared at Tonks' hair.

They talked some more, but then Dumbledore arrived, and Molly sent children off. Hermione and Ginny chose the room on the first floor, and Ron chose a room next to theirs. It had two beds, one for Harry when he arrives. Fred and George took the room on the second floor, next to the master bedroom, and the Weasleys took the third room on the second floor. Only one room remained empty, the one next to Remus'. Remus was once again anxious about his transformation, but the fact that Gwen will make him a Wolfsbane calmed him for a bit. Sirius was amused with the full house. And they will finally clean it. Gwen liked Molly and Arthur, and they liked her too. Arthur found her time in the Muggle world most fascinating, and Gwen was entertained by his excitement.

The first part of the meeting was quite boring. Everyone had their report on the ongoing missions. Remus did the one for him and Tonks, and she watched him a bit hypnotized by his calming voice. Gwen noticed every look they shared, kicking Sirius under the table every time the look lasted, or when they shared one. She smiled in her triumph, but Sirius was still not convinced. The second part of the meeting was about the members, the children, and most important – Harry's arrival.

"I think it's proper to bring Potter here two weeks before classes start," Snape said flatly, and Dumbledore nodded. Sirius' heart skipped a beat by seeing that. With all the Weasleys here, he wanted Harry to come as soon as possible. He wanted to spend some time with him, talk to him for hours if needed about what happened at the Tournament. Gwen noticed him fuming, and before she could do anything, Sirius snapped.

"No. Absolutely not. All the children are here now, and Harry should be too. He deserves to be here, not there with those… Dursleys!"

Snape looked terrified, and angry, like he will explode. Being interrupted like that, by no one else than Sirius, was unacceptable in his brain.

"And your suggestion is what exactly? We can't just pick him up, and bring him here. We're keeping an eye on him, but they are too," Snape controlled his voice, and face. She noticed Gwen's grateful look. Both of them knew he was fighting the urge to be his usual, snarky, rude self.

"Well, not right now, but as soon as possible." Sirius wiggled himself on the chair. Snape was right, as much as he hated to admit it.

"I agree with Sirius," Molly said quietly, and now all eyes were on her. "Those people are terrible to Harry. And he will be safe here. You-Know-Who wants the prophecy, I doubt he would risk going after Harry before he gets the prophecy. So, I think Harry should be brought here, and be with us."

Sirius was grateful, and he looked at Molly nodding. She smiled at him, and Arthur nodded too, agreeing with his wife. Dumbledore watched Snape preparing himself to be defeated in this argument.

"Of course…" he muttered.

"Severus," Lupin said with his hoarse voice being quite loud. It was Remus' way of getting attention. His voice was remarkable, and Tonks was again hypnotized by it. "You said they are keeping an eye on Harry? If so, we should be as careful as possible. We can't risk anything. And we can't do that without a plan. A good plan."

"And I'll do one," Moody scoffed. "But Albus has the final word with the time of the moving."

"I agree with all of you, actually," Dumbledore said calmly, gazing at everyone for a moment. He loved when the members lead constructive conversations, and he was pleased with both Severus and Sirius controlling their tempers. "Harry will remain with the Dursleys until further notice. I think that we can talk about moving him on our next meeting in ten days. Sirius, I understand your need to have Harry close. But, as much as I don't like to say this, we must keep our emotions out of this for a while. Harry is safe in the Little Whinging, and that's most important. I presume Alastor will come up with a good plan for his moving. And, he had a couple of more people join us officially, as I said earlier. Molly, I know how you feel about Harry too, and I agree Harry should be surrounded by those closest to him. We will make that happen, but as Remus said we must be very careful with this. It will be, by far, the most important mission. So, Alastor, please have in mind that the whole order is under your command for that one."

"Professor, we must think about Harry's aunt and uncle," Kingsley said, after being too quiet for too long. Tonks didn't notice until he's spoken, but she knew what that means – Kingsley had something on his mind. "As I noticed, they aren't really… approving of magic. I agree Harry needs advanced guard, so I'm not really sure how they would react about all of us in their home."

"Good point, Kingsley," Dumbledore nodded. "And that is one more thing to add to the list of the plan."

"We can lure them out…" Tonks murmured.

"Nymphadora? Could you please be a bit louder," Dumbledore smiled kindly at Tonks. Her cheeks were now red, as all eyes were turned to her.

"We need to lure them out. With something they like… I noticed they have a pretty nice lawn. And Muggles love those… best this and that competitions," Tonks thought in a moment, not really sure what she was saying. She noticed everyone frowning at her, but Dumbledore smiled amused.

"That is really a creative idea, Nymphadora," Dumbledore said, and Tonks flinched. Merlin, how she hated her name. "And I like it. I'm sure Alastor will like your idea too once you think it through."

"I mean… We can trick them. Send them a misleading letter, yes," Tonks said exuberant. "They will leave the house, and when they do, we come, get Harry and get out."

She was so excited that she didn't notice how impressed Remus was by her at that moment. Lawns? Who would've thought of that? No one else, but the girl with neon green hair. The one who doesn't usually fit in. His lips crooked into a small smile while he listened to her talking, and he wasn't even aware of that.

"Brilliant," Moody said, much to Tonks' and Snape's surprise. "This might work. The Muggles are really gullible, and they are strange with their lawns."

"Alastor, would you like Nymphadora to be your second on this task?" Dumbledore asked, but Moody shook his head.

"No, she's too young to be my second. But Remus is not, and I would like Kingsley to join us, Hestia too. I must think more about this, but I'll have it in a few days." Moody said. His magical eye pierced Remus, who nodded.

"Alright, Alastor, Remus, start with planning. We mustn't leave anything to luck or chances."

Shortly after that, meeting officially ended, and it was time for dinner. Molly started to make a table, and Gwen stood up to help her. The children burst into the dining room, making it more crowded than before. But, since the table was enormous, they all fitted there. Just as Gwen was putting down the plates, she felt a cold hand on her shoulder.

"May I have a word with you, Gwen?" Snape asked her politely, and she nodded, leaving plates on the table, and she left the room with Snape following her. Sirius scoffed at that, but managed to pull up his poker face. He returned to his conversation with Remus, Tonks, and the children. All of them were impressed with Tonks – she was a metamorphmagus Auror, of course children loved her.

Gwen returned after ten minutes, as she walked to her chair, she waved her hand to make table set itself up. Her face was clenched, like she has just heard something she didn't really want to hear. When she sat down, Sirius looked at her waiting for an answer, but she ignored him. Molly approached Tonks, carrying a small bag in her hand.

"Oh Tonks, darling, Charlie left this for you. Birthday gift, of course," Molly gave her the bag, and they hugged briefly.

"Thank you, Molly, I'll surely write Charlie a thank you note," she said with a wide smile. Charlie always remembered her birthday.

"It's your birthday?" Remus asked her confused.

"No, it's in two days. That's why I can't do the guard thing," she said, and looked at Gwen, who looked like she was struck by lightening. In a good way.

"I think you should come here after lunch with Andromeda, and celebrate with us then," Sirius said. He saw this as an opportunity to finally convince himself that Gwen's right.

"Oh… I don't want a party. Molly will surely do something embarrassing, so…" Tonks said reluctantly. As far as she knew, if she entered this house on her birthday, the whole Weasley family will sing her Happy Birthday.

"Then it'll be our secret. Come by, and we'll say we have to do some planning for Order duties," Gwen said confidently. "Molly will probably be too busy with cleaning, according to the schedule Arthur will guard the prophecy, and kids… look at them. They will look at those firecrackers, or something."

"I bet if we lock into the library, no one will find us!" Sirius said, eager to have this so called party.

"Oh, have you met Hermione? Even I have to admit that girl spends way too much time with her head in the books," Remus said, but not in a bad way. He was always telling Hermione to breathe a little, to be young, and to enjoy her youth. He knew about her schedule during her third year, and was really against all of that. But McGonagall's word was the last one in that case. And it turned out to be a good decision. If Hermione hadn't had the time-turner…

"Fine, but nothing grand. I'll just come for a drink or two."

"Party it is!" Sirius said overwhelmed. Even though she just said she doesn't want a party, she was happy to spend her birthday evening with Remus, Sirius, and Gwen.

"While you talked, I already altered the schedule. I'll help our plan even more. Arthur is on the prophecy mission, and Emmeline and Molly will keep an eye on that Burke tosser." Gwen was scrabbling on the parchment happily. Her plan worked perfectly.

* * *

 _27_ _th_ _of July 1995_

It was Thursday evening, and Tonks was getting ready for her drinks at Grimmauld. The lunch with her parents bored her a bit. She loved spending time with her parents, but she didn't like the fact that she had to keep both of them in dark about joining the Order. Tonks was sure that her mother would really be relieved if she knew about Sirius. But as Moody said, no one can know, and that included her parents. "Maybe it's better if they do not know, for now," Tonks thought, while leaving their house.

Ted and Andromeda bought Tonks a young screech owl, and Tonks was not sure what she thought of her gift. It was nice to have her own owl at last, but she was afraid that the owl wouldn't appreciate her being out all the time. But then again, screech owls are quite independent, so maybe it was the best choice. The owl was brown, with some black feathers. It had big dark brown eyes, and Tonks thought it was cute. It was now resting on the bar near the window, and Tonks was just trying to pick her outfit, with her record player playing in the background.

For her parents,, she wore a lng summer dress, but now she wanted something… Something different than the dress she wore at her parents'. She again chose the band T-shirt, this time combined with jeans, short overalls. She chose fishnet stockings, her boots, and a bunch of jewellery. She decided that it's time to bring back the pink, but not the magenta she usually wore. This time she chose baby pink, to be in a perfect contrast with her punkish outfit. Perfect. When she looked at the mirror, she smiled to herself because she wasn't sure why was she so flustered with this, and why she wanted to look extra today.

However, she gathered herself, and her things, and found herself on the doorstep of Grimmauld Place around 8:30 in the evening. She heard children talking in the dining room, and she took a deep breath. She liked all of them, but she was really not in the mood for morphing in an elephant or a lion. Or for questions about her Auror work. She didn't want to talk about anything serious, so she managed to quietly reach the stairs. Even though she was desperately clumsy, when she focused, she could be really stealth and unseen. And she succeeded. She climbed her way to the library, but it was empty. She was a bit surprised, and disappointed, but as soon as she turned she heard a familiar hoarse voice.

"Hello, Tonks."

"Wotcher Remus," she turned to face him with a bright, big smile on her face.

"Happy birthday," Remus smiled shyly at her.

"Thank you, but it doesn't count without a kiss," she popped her head in his direction, pointing at her cheek. Remus smiled in surprise, but he pecked her cheek. For best wishes, of course. He wouldn't admit that the touch of her soft cheek on his lips made his heart skip a beat. Or two. Maybe three.

"That's better! Where are Gwen, and Sirius?"

"They just got to the cellar to get something to drink," Remus said, and gestured her to enter the library. "After you."

Tonks entered the library, and sat on the couch. Remus wasn't sitting. He looked quite nervous, and murmured.

"Oh, I have something for you…"

He stormed out of the room, and she heard him entering his room. She hoped he hasn't bought her a present because she will be so uncomfortable with that. She knew he didn't have any money, and didn't really want him to spend on something trivial. And she wasn't sure how to react. Remus entered the library, holding a roll of paper with a small magenta bow on it.

"I'm bad with presents, and I didn't know what to get you on such short notice, so…"

He handed the roll to her. She accepted it, but she was so confused, and she felt her cheeks turning pink.

"What are you waiting for? Open it," he suggested, and she started unrolling the paper. "I used to keep it above my bed at Hogwarts. It wasn't hung in a while, but I kept it. It's nothing much, but…"

Tonks unrolled the paper and figured it's a Muggle Led Zeppelin poster. It was the famous _Led Zeppelin I_ zeppelin picture. A Muggle catastrophe? Awesome wizarding decoration.

"Wow… This is… brilliant! I love it! Thank you so much!" Tonks shrieked, threw the poster on the coffee table and hung herself around Remus' neck. He was surprised by her being that close to him, but he hugged her with his right arm. They broke apart, and shared an awkward look.

"I'm sorry if that… Oh Merlin… I sometimes can't control myself, and I got you're not of those who like to be touched," Tonks started to explain herself, and she avoided looking at Remus, so she started to fidget with her fingers.

"No," he chuckled. "You just caught me by surprise."

Tonks lifted her look, and she smiled shyly at Remus, whose cheeks were getting pinker and pinker with each moment passing since they hugged. However, they were interrupted by Sirius and Gwen sneaking into the room.

"Happy birthday!" Gwen ran to Tonks side, hugging her, and they pecked politely.

"Thank you, G," Tonks started to call Gwen G, much to Gwen's amusement. It was because Gwen always signed her letters with a big G, and Tonks had a nickname for everyone. Except for Remus…

"Happy birthday, Tonksie!" Sirius hugged her, and pecked her in congratulations.

"Thank you!"

"We are stuck in here so we couldn't get any present, but we got my father's older-than-even-Remus-and-me firewhiskey. What do you say?"

Tonks smiled, and Sirius poured them all a drink. Remus brought his record player to the library, put a silencing charm on, and the sound of soft jazz filled the room. He purposely chose jazz, because he knew if it was anything wilder, it'll make Sirius too fussy, and active. And then he'll drink more than any of them wants, and that won't end up well.

"So you're now like what? 25?" Gwen knew exactly how old Tonks was, since she was a Ravenclaw Head Girl in her seventh year, and Tonks was in her second when she caught her sneaking to the Herbology greenhouses.

"No, I'm 22 today. I must be honest and admit that I never thought I'll become an Auror before my 22nd birthday."

"And you proved yourself wrong," Remus said shortly, and Tonks smiled at him.

"Um… but what will we do for your birthday, G?" Tonks asked, and only then realised that Gwen never told her birth date. She figured it from her snooping. "I figured… The pictures in your house, they were all…"

"August 8th, right. I forgot about it, to be honest," Gwen said a bit sadly, and started to fidget with her glass in her hands.

"You never told me when your birthday was," Sirius complained.

"It's not my fault you never notice anything, Sirius," Gwen said, and poured them another glass of liquor.

"Another party in two weeks then, woo!" Sirius said overwhelmed now. "And it's before full moon, Moony, right?"

"Yes… Yes, it is," Remus didn't really want to discuss the moon schedule now.

"And another one in November, and… March?" Gwen was now looking at Remus suspiciously. She wasn't sure of his birthday, but Sirius mentioned it a couple of times since they usually spent it in Hogwarts.

"10th, yes," Remus answered shortly, again.

"Oh, we'll have a lot of parties here, then," Tonks said exuberantly. She felt so relaxed talking with this group of people. All of them.

"Cheers to that," Sirius cheered.

They talked some more, mostly about their birthday celebrations. Gwen told them about celebrating her birthday on a new location almost every year, and Tonks was kind of jealous. She always celebrated her birthday at home with her parents, since it was during summer break. Sirius and Remus, however, celebrated their birthdays at Hogwarts, and they even got house elves to make Remus a cake one year, because the full moon was just days before his birthday. Tonks liked hearing about their mischiefs, and she was happy that Sirius was way less secretive, almost proud, about their misdemeanours.

Tonks didn't stay long, however. She had to be at work earlier tomorrow, since Scrimgeour called for an Auror meeting in 7. Kingsley told Tonks he'll pick her up because she can't afford to be late. If they want to be useful to the Order, they must stay at Scrimgeour's good side. So she can't oversleep, or anything because Kingsley will murder her. Even though he was softer than Moody, he was still very strict when it came to business. When it was time for her to go, Remus walked her out. Again. When they left the room, Gwen nudged Sirius, who hasn't even noticed Tonks carrying the roll of paper.

"Just accept you lost the bet. That paper was something sentimental, I just know it. It's old, and he gave it to her as a gift," Gwen said, gloating.

"I think I know what that is, but it doesn't prove anything!" Sirius was still denying the truth. There were chemistry between his best friend and his cousin. The undeniable bond that pulled them both like a magnet.

"Deny all you want, Sirius, but facts are facts." Gwen said shortly, pinched his cheek, and left him alone in the library.

When they were going downstairs to the front door, both Tonks and Remus realised that children must've been sleeping because it was way too quiet. While they passed the first floor hallway, they could hear Ron's loud snoring. Tonks giggled at the sound of that, and Remus figured she must've been tipsy from the firewhiskey. She was a small built woman, after all. When they reached the front door, she stopped and looked at him.

"A real Gryffindor lion, that Ron. Snoring like roaring," Tonks said, still giggling.

"In my house's defence, not all of us snore. I do, but I've never seen no one sleeping more calmly than James. If he wasn't breathing, you wouldn't even notice him," Remus smiled at a memory of his late friend.

"You miss James?" Tonks blurted, knowing the answer, and regretting the question. Why was she like that? Remus just sighed.

"I do, but I learned to live with a memory. It's all I have now, I guess," his voice was silent, and melancholic. Tonks felt bad, but he was right, she was a bit tipsy.

"That's not true! You can still make new memories. I'll help you!" she said a bit over excited. She prayed to everything she knew for her attempt to be a success. Remus chuckled in return, not saying anything. She felt slightly offended by his lack of words, so she hit him with a paper roll on his head playfully.

"Don't laugh at me, Remus, I'm serious!"

"You're not. You're Nymphadora," Remus said amused. He appreciated her attempt to make him feel better, and she succeeded only by trying. He believed her. He can still make new memories.

"Oh! This totally backfired on me," Tonks said, standing unsteadily on her feet.

"Do you want me to apparate you home? I'm not sure…"

"It's not my first time apparating while drinking, don't be so stiff," he smacked him with a paper roll again, and he smiled at her playfulness.

"You see? I like this. I'm to short to do it with my hands, but this is really helpful," she chuckled now with him, looking at a paper roll in her hands. "Anyway, thanks for the poster. It's really brilliant!"

"No problem," he now welcomed her with a wider smile.

"And here you have another memory, Remus," Tonks smiled, and her eyes was sparkling in her little alcohol infused daze.

"I guess I do, right," Remus said shortly.

"I must go now, but I'll see you for our mission soon… Take care, Remus. And thank you, again. This was probably the best birthday I ever had."

He opened the door for her, not really wanting her to go. She stepped out, and gave him another look.

"Then I guess you too got another memory. Take care, Tonks."

As he closed the door, both of them stood for a second a bit confused. Something happened, but none of them was sure what. Remus didn't even notice Sirius, who went downstairs to put the bottles he enthusiastically brought upstairs back into the cellar. However, Sirius couldn't help but notice the interaction between Remus and Tonks. And when he saw his best friend standing at the entrance alone, lost in his thoughts, he was sure. Gwen was right. Something is going on between them. And it wasn't just Tonks. It was Remus too.

* * *


	12. The Dementor Attack

_2_ _nd_ _of August 1995_

The summer air was hot, and it was heavy to breathe outside. The walls of Grimmauld Place provided much needed shelter from the sun, and the air inside was not so heavy. The house still needed some serious cleaning, and Molly Weasley made a plan of house cleaning chores, mostly for the kids. They weren't thrilled about it, and Gwen showed her cleaning spells to Hermione, who managed to cast it properly after only two tries. As much as Gwen was used to be alone, it was nice to be in a house surrounded by people. When Tonks came by, Fred and George would show them their newest tricks, but they had to swear not to tell Molly, or Arthur. Tonks even provided them with some materials, as Molly disagreed completely with the idea of kids leaving the safeness of the house.

Tonks and Remus started their mission as usual, at 6 o'clock. Gwen and Sirius made slight alterations to the schedule, and the next Order meeting was expected to be this weekend. Gwen was just finishing braiding her hair into a thick braid, when she heard Sirius laughing hard in his room. Even though she was curious to know the reason of his laughter, she pretended not to hear him. But she couldn't ignore him anymore when he called out for her.

"Oi, Gwen, come 'ere," he said through his laughter. Gwen smiled as she heard him calling out. She will definitely find out what was so funny. She entered Sirius' room, only to find him choking with laughter, holding her black lacy knickers in his stretched hand, holding the other one on his stomach. "You think those will fit me well, eh?"

Gwen's face went red. Sirius and she became friends in this short time, and they felt quite comfortable with each other since they lived together, but this was a bit too much. Even when she was going for a shower, she would be fully clothed while walking in the hallway. Some would even say she's a prude. Sirius, however, wasn't so shy. He would stroll around shirtless, but now with a house full of kids, he was forced to dress himself properly. She took her underwear from his hands, and burst into laughter.

"I don't even know," she said, avoiding Sirius' look.

"Oh come on, it's just knickers. It's not like I've seen you wearing them," Sirius eyes now had the devilish spark. He was always good with getting women's attention, and his haughty looks helped him doing that. But Gwen, however, was immune to his facial movement, which he did when he was alluding to something. She lifted her look, still with slightly pink cheeks, and pierced his eyes with hers.

"Okay, this conversation is now officially over," she turned on her heel, and darted out of his room. Sirius stood there, watching her walking away on her bare toes. He still couldn't understand her need to be bare feet all the time.

Gwen promised to help Ginny with her potions revision. Ginny was good at potions, but she was insecure, and Gwen knew how hard Snape can be. Of course, Hermione joined their study session, always eager for more knowledge. Gwen wasn't quite sure that the Sorting Hat sorted Hermione right, because she had the Ravenclaw spirit on all the time. And Gwen liked helping girls, she even gave them a few tips how to get extra points on Snape's exams. She knew best because she always got all of them, much to Snape's disagreement at first.

It was around 10 o'clock when they heard the front door opening loudly, and suddenly. Sirius' mother started to scream. Gwen ran down from the drawing room, with Hermione and Ginny following her. With a wave of her hand, the curtains covered Walburga's portrait, and Hermione was stunned with Gwen's advanced use of wandless, and non-verbal magic. They heard steps from everyone on the staircase. Molly and Arthur were already in bed, but now they were wide awake, running from their room. Fred and George were up, and Ron was with them in their room on the second floor, all of them now running down. Sirius was with Buckbeak, so he was too now running down the stairs. When Gwen reached the ground floor first, she saw Snape marching towards her.

"Where's Black?" he asked her quickly, passing by her, his cloak floating behind him. Gwen followed, and yelled.

"Sirius!"

But she didn't really need to. Sirius was already right there.

"I'm 'ere. What happened?" Sirius froze when he saw Snape's terrified face.

"Potter was attacked by the Dementors. Potter and his Muggle cousin."

The whole dining room, which now held all of the occupants of the house, went silent and frozen. Molly placed her hand over her mouth. Gwen darted Sirius with her look, but Sirius face was stone like.

"Since Lupin taught him how to produce a Patronus, he saved himself and that other boy," Snape continued, and all of them felt relaxed at once. Hermione was now clenching Ginny's hand, and Ron looked like he's been given a really hard math problem to solve. Sirius was still speechless, and he looked like he will faint. The Dementors. Harry. He remembered the night almost both of them died because of the Dementors. Chills went through his whole body, and he accepted Gwen's lead who placed him on a chair. Molly understood her hint, and went to the kitchen to grab him a glass of water.

"However…" Snape continued, "The Ministry sent him a notice that he is expelled from Hogwarts. I was with Dumbledore when that happened…"

"They can't expell Harry!" Hermione shrieked, and Snape looked at her like he always did when she told the right answer, much to his dismay. "He was protecting himself from the Dementors."

"Bravo, Miss Granger, once again you told us something all of us should be aware of." Snape snapped at Hermione, but saw Gwen's disagreement in her surprised look.

"Severus, tell us what happened. And you're not in your classroom now," Gwen said with a strong voice, and everyone was now staring at her. The kids were amazed by someone talking to Snape like that. Molly and Arthur were just surprised, and Sirius was still speechless.

"Dumbledore went to the Ministry immediately. I presume he managed to set Potter for a hearing. I just came to tell you that. And you, Black, don't even think about doing something idiotic."

"Excuse me?" Sirius stood up, but Gwen stretched her arm to prevent him to go after Snape. Sirius looked at Gwen, who looked at him reprovingly, and sat back down. He almost fell, though, so it was better for him to sit.

"Severus," Arthur was now the one speaking, trying to break the tension. "Does Alastor knows? We should plan Harry's transfer as soon as possible. We all know what this means."

"Of course Mad-Eye knows, Dumbledore sent him his own patronus. That's other news, he insists we communicate only by patronuses now. Potter is back with the Dursleys. Dumbledore set the next meeting here tomorrow, everyone except Elphias will be there since he will be on the guard duty." Snape finished his sentence, and darted towards the front door. When he left the room, Gwen followed him.

"Sev…"

"I really don't want to talk to you now, Gwendolyn." He brushed her off, but Gwen was restless.

"No, Sev, stop and listen to me," Gwen grabbed his cloak, and Snape turned at once. He was quiet, but he looked at her waiting for an explanation.

"You can't be like that with them. With no one, actually," she was always angry at him when she heard how he treated only a few students of his. Most of them were in this house now.

"I don't remember when I asked for your opinion," he scoffed at her.

"You don't have to ask for my opinion to get it. Look, Sev, you're better than that, and you and I both know it. You're now mad at me because it hurts your ego, and you think they will question your authority. Well, at least try to be the person I know you can be."

"Are you done?" he crossed his arms on his chest, placing himself in a defensive stance.

"I'll never be done with you…" she sighed, giving up. Gwen knew when conversation with him was pointless, and this was one of those times. "And if I remember right, just what, ten days ago…"

"I'm sure you remember right what I said, you never forget anything." His arms fell to his sides, and Gwen looked at him and sighed loudly.

"Take care there, Sev, please," she turned, and went to the dining room again, and Snape left the building at once.

* * *

In an hour, all of the Weasley children and Hermione, were back asleep. Arthur went to the Ministry instantly. Sirius, however, was sleepless, and Gwen joined him in Buckbeak's room. He was petting the hippogriff, and looked frustrated and angry.

"I just want to know he's alright, you know? How can I be at peace, waiting for another terrible news like this one… The Dementors, Gwen. Harry is just a boy, he doesn't deserve this…" Sirius remembered the night when he was reunited with Harry, and when almost both of them died. Sirius was terrified with just the mention of the Dementors, not wanting to even imagine the pain they caused to Harry. He would never admit, but most of his nightmares included floating hooded figures.

"You're not really thinking…" Gwen approached him now, and Sirius straightened up. "Sirius, you can't leave the house." She understood his thoughts, but she won't let him risk his life like that. If he's caught, they will have a lot of unnecessary new problems.

"You don't expect me to sit here and wait, really?" Sirius gritted through his teeth, and started pacing nervously, running his hands through his long hair. Gwen looked at him, and knew the feelings he felt now. Because she felt them so many times for Polly and Brianna. And she knew she can't stop him.

"Alright, fine, a compromise," she said, and Sirius looked at her, listening to her proposition. "I'll go. You'll stay here. I'll go and make sure Harry's alright. I can leave this house. It's not the smartest idea, but it's better than you leaving."

Sirius stood speechless. She was ready to do that. For him. For Harry. And he believed her. If she went, and she confirmed he's safe, he would definitely feel better. She didn't need his confirmation, she summoned her shoes, put them on, just like her robes, and her wand was now in her hand. She was ready to go. Sirius was still speechless, and he just hugged her.

"Thank you," he muttered in her ear.

"We're long past thank you point, Sirius, hm?" she said, and left the room, sneaking out of the house. Of course they won't tell anyone about this. Gwen wasn't forbidden to leave the house as Sirius was, but she was advised not to.

This was against her better judgment, but she had to do this. For Sirius, and for herself. She was at Privet Drive in a second. When she saw number four, she shivered. The lights of the house were on, but the curtains were drawn. She couldn't see a thing like this. She charmed herself to be in a spectral form. Not really visible, but not invisible either. She sneaked into Dursley's backyard, and figured why Tonks thought about the idea of the Muggle lawn fest. Then she saw him. The Boy Who Lived, pacing in front of his uncle and aunt. He was alive, and he looked well. Angry, scared and frustrated, but well. And Gwen felt better for a second. She sneaked back on the main street, and run for a bit to get to the apparating spot. She apparated within seconds, and was back at the Grimmauld Place. Sirius was still in Buckbeak's room, terrified, and worried. When he saw her, his eyes widened so much that she thought they will pop out.

"And?" he asked, jumping in front of her, eager to hear the news.

"He's fine, Sirius, I saw him through the window. He's talking to the Dursleys, and he is alive and well."

Sirius fell to his knees in front of her, and she kneeled down too. Harry was alright, that was the most important thing for Sirius. He felt the tension leaving the body, and Gwen's hug made it even easier to relax.

* * *

Tonks was yawning heavily, as she and Remus sat on the cushions for another stakeout. She had to work some extra hours at the Office, and she was quite tired. Remus watched her, and smiled at her face because she never put a hand on her mouth.

"What? Don't mock me Remus, I'm tired," she said sadly.

"If you want, you can sleep a bit. I'm not tired at all, so I'll take the watch," he said still smiling.

"No, I want to talk some. You know, to wake me up. So… What will you tell me today, Remus?" she now clenched her legs with her arms, and looked at him tiredly, but still awake enough.

"I don't know what to tell you," he said flatly, and fidgeted his wand in his fingers. She was again distracted by how pretty his hands were. Not something she usually noticed on man.

"Oh, I know… When I was at Hogwarts there were talks about a map in Filch's office. Have you ever heard it?"

"No, tell me!" Remus played dumb, even though he knew exactly what map was in this question.

"It's a myth, of course. I've never seen it myself, and no one did I guess. The rumour is that he confiscated the map that shows the whole castle, and all the people there. You know, in real time. How mental is that? That would be so handy to have! And it's presenting only when saying some secret incantation that no one knows of. So even if you find it, it's useless without the incantation."

Remus looked at her, amused with her ignorance. He started to laugh at her, and she looked at him surprised.

"You think it's stupid!" she said offended, and slapped him lightly on his upper arm. Remus was still laughing, but he managed to get to some breath when he let out one deep breath.

"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good," he said with a grin on his face.

"Huh?" she looked at him confused. What the hell was he talking about?

"That's the incantation. I solemnly swear that I am up to no good. You tap the map and say that. And then the fun starts."

"How do you know that?" Tonks was now more confused than before. How come she never heard of that?

"Do you know the name of that map, Tonks?" Remus asked her, with the smile never leaving his face.

"No, but does it matter?" She didn't know why he asked her that. What does it matter?

"It's the Marauder's map. And the incantation was my idea. James did the closing one, Mischief managed. It erases the map of its content, making it foolproof." He said, lifted his eyebrows, and stared directly in her eyes, which widened.

"Oh my holy fucking Merlin! So it's true, it does exists! I have to tell Charlie, he owes me three potions homeworks. Stupid bet." Tonks jumped on her knees, and placed herself to be looking straight at Remus. "Tell me more now!"

"Well, you know how Peter, James, and Sirius became animagi? We searched the castle up and down," Remus chuckled at the memory. "With James invisibility cloak, Peter as a small rat, Sirius then perfect memory, and both magic and drawing skills, and mine and James' aptitude for making new spells… We were invincible. You see… Peter and Sirius drew the map, and Sirius thought about all, the concept of it. You see, it's not an usual map. You have to get it to understand it."

Tonks was now listening to Remus carefully. She was so impressed with Remus Lupin now. She knew Remus is skilled, but this map was something she never considered to be truth. And it seemed to be nothing but the truth. She wiggled herself on the cushion, and was listening him eagerly.

"And James and I enchanted it with a whole lot of spells. And that map will never, and I guarantee that with my life, show something that isn't there. It will never, and it never lies. I made sure of that myself. And that's how I knew Peter was alive when I saw his name on it… And our names were marked a bit differently… There wasn't a chance for Peter not to be there."

Remus took a big breath, as he fidgeted his wand quicker than before. Tonks was still looking at him amused, and surprised. She wanted to know more. And his voice soothed her.

"We signed it by our nicknames. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs. The Marauders," Remus voice was now melancholic, and dry. "You know, at that point, I was sure I will grow old surrounded by them. All of them." His head fell. He still couldn't get over how bad things turned out, and how Peter betrayed them. It was something Remus could never, ever understand. Tonks didn't like him being sad like that, so she tried to cheer him up by nudging him. He lifted his look immediately, and looked straight into her eyes.

"You know, you still have Padfoot. Sure, it's not like before, but you two are still friends. And I guess Prongs would be happy to see that," she smiled lightly at Remus, who listened to her carefully. "That map is legendary, you know? It's your legacy, you left your mark at Hogwarts as a student, and as a teacher. You can be really proud of your work."

"I am proud of it, I can't deny it. And you know who has it now?" Remus asked, and Tonks looked at him waiting for an answer. "Harry. I can ask him to borrow it so I can show it to you. I found out he has it when I was teaching at Hogwarts, and took it from him. With Sirius being free, and I wasn't aware of the truth there… I thought it's safer that way. Although, I gave him the Map back when I left the post, with the same thought. It's our legacy, and Harry is the only one to carry it. "

"For now! You don't know what will happen to you, or Sirius!" Tonks said maybe a bit too excited, but she only wanted Remus to smile a bit.

"I don't know about Sirius, but I'm quite sure about myself," Remus answered shortly, not comfortable with this topic. He gave up on the idea of having children, and he made his peace with being alone forever. He'll never find a woman who will love him, because he doesn't deserve love, or family. He just knew he will be alone in that sense until the day he dies. "I can tell you more about how we used the map, though."

"Sure," Tonks placed herself to look right at Remus, and she wasn't sure why he thought so badly about himself. He often made a small comments alluding he'll be alone forever. But, while he talked about their misdemeanours, he had that spark in his eyes, and his voice screamed mischief. He sounded so mischievous, and playful. Tonks looked at his face, and thought about how good actually he looks. The scars on his face only emphasised his facial features, like his brow line because of the scar cutting his eyebrow, and his strangely coloured eyes. His stubble beard gave him a relaxed look, and the dark circles were barely visible. His hair looked so soft, and the grey hair only made him more masculine. His face was in fact really interesting, just like he was to her. He was tall, funny, smart, and he had really nice hands. And the spark in his eyes. For the first time ever, Tonks caught herself thinking about how attractive Remus Lupin really is.

* * *

 _3_ _rd_ _of August 1995_

Tonks and Remus entered the Grimmauld Place in the early morning, and were surprised with Sirius running to greet them. Both Gwen and Sirius couldn't really sleep. He rushed them into the dining room, just as Gwen was serving breakfast. Since all the children and the Weasleys will be awake in an hour or two, Gwen made breakfast for all of them too. As Tonks and Remus ate, Gwen and Sirius updated them about what happened. Remus was relieved once he heard that Harry was safe. However, both Sirius and Gwen decided not to reveal their secret. Tonks was just finishing her cup of tea, tired, and happy because it was her day off.

"Oh, and Moody said he'll come by around noon. Since you're his second on Advance Guard mission, he wants to talk to you, Remus, and he expects you Tonks, to be there too. So, you better be here and awake," Gwen informed them briefly.

"No! I want to sleep! I just want more that four hours of bloody sleep. Why Merlin?" Tonks cried, and Remus and Sirius both looked at her surprised. She wasn't usually this theatrical when it came to business.

"Well, you can sleep here if you want," Gwen offered, and Tonks completely forgot about the one unoccupied bedroom upstairs.

"Where? The house is full," she cried tiredly.

"Well, the room next to Moony's is free," Sirius said. "And Molly and Gwen cleaned it a bit. It's not the cleanest, but it will serve its purpose if you want to."

"Really?" Tonks said with a hope in her voice. She really just wanted to get some sleep. But, Remus was uncomfortable now. He knew that he snores quite loudly when he's tired, and he remembered how Tonks was giggling at Ron for snoring. He didn't want her to make fun of him. He didn't want her to hear him snore.

"Sure, only problem is Moony's snoring," of course Sirius just said that. Why would he just stay quiet for once? Remus was now ashamed, and he felt his cheeks turning red.

"Hah! He will be happy if I don't wake him up with my snoring," Tonks said, noticing Remus' being uncomfortable. She really didn't have a problem with snoring, and in fact she did snore a bit, too. Remus lifted his head to look at her without any word said. She was so impressing, with each word she said. Every time he felt ashamed with something in his life, she would say something to turn it around, making him feel warm and comfortable.

"Then it's settled," Gwen said, gloating in her triumph. "When should I wake you?" Sirius noticed how Gwen became the one to manage the household. She became in charge, and he wasn't sure how that happened, but he liked her authority. She wasn't someone who took no for an answer, and she always made things work out in her favour. She wasn't even asking about her potions equipment. She asked him once, and he just said that he took it, and she scoffed and never asked again. Of course, she had a spare set, and it was now placed in the basement, since Gwen was concocting Wolfsbane for Remus. It had to be taken each day a week before the full moon, which meant he has to start today. And now, she was making potions with Ginny and Hermione too.

"I need about 15 minutes to get ready," Tonks said yawning.

"And I'm used to sleeping for a few hours, so I'll see you both in half past 10," Remus said, and they both stood up and went to sleep.

Gwen grinned hard now, and Sirius was annoyed by that.

"Why are you grinning? It's not like they will end up in the same bed," he mocked her.

"No, but you really don't understand a thing," Gwen said, and stood up to clean up the table. And Sirius, for the first time ever, helped her without her asking him.

* * *

Gwen woke Tonks up right on schedule, 15 minutes before noon, much to Tonks disagreement. However, she appreciated a cup of coffee Gwen made for her. In the last month, they shared a coffee almost every morning after the stakeouts. Remus would go to bed, and they would talk some more before Tonks departing for work. When she joined Moody, and Remus in the dining room, he wasn't expecting to see Sirius and Gwen to be there too. Sirius, of course, was too worried to not attend this meeting, and Gwen was there as a moral support. But no one minded that. Moody started with the meeting at once, as soon as Tonks entered, he stated his plan.

"So, Remus, you're my second, and if anything happens Kingsley is third." Moody grunted.

"And what am I? Sack of bloody potatoes?" Tonks wasn't happy to hear she is not the third, but she knew that Kingsley deserved it more than her. Moody decided to ignore her, and that meant there is no time for funny jokes, so Tonks decided to stay quiet if not asked.

"And we need more people. We will fly, so we need a whole formation." Moody stated, looking at Remus.

"I've heard Hestia is fair flyer, and she asked me when we'll start doing something more exciting," Remus said calmly. He was always the tactician in every plan. His brain was capable of seeing details, and Sirius wasn't ever good in that. "And Dedalus, and Elphias are good fliers too. Even James was amazed by the old man's skill on the broom."

Both Sirius and Remus smiled at the memory.

"Fine, who else?" Moody asked. He didn't want to leave anything to chance. It all had to be planned, and it should be mistake free.

"Are you sure we need more? There are seven of us already," Remus asked carefully.

"I agree with Mad-Eye, the more, the better. Harry needs to be safe," Sirius said, darting his best friend with his grey eyes. He wasn't happy to hear Remus complaining about the size of the Advance Guard.

"Well, it's a flying formation, right?" Gwen asked, and got everyone's attention. "That means that the best number is divisible by three. So, if you want more, than it should be nine."

Moody now stared at her, and Gwen felt a bit uncomfortable. This was, after all, a man who captured her father. But Tonks knew better. That meant that Moody liked what he heard from her just now.

"Smart lass over here," Moody grunted. "I guess Emmeline will be up for that, and that Sturgis lad was bragging about his skills. So let's see him on the field. Now all we need is Albus to give it a green light, and a date."

Gwen was proud of the compliment she's just got, and Tonks remembered when Moody gave her a compliment for the first time. It was a life milestone of a kind. To be praised by Mad-Eye Moody. They planned the mission in detail, and Moody even forced them to revise it a couple of times too much. But they didn't mind. They needed to be prepared for the tonight's brief meeting. It won't be a long meeting, they only have one concern – how to move Harry safely. The meeting was supposed to start at 7, and it did. Everyone except Elphias, and Snape were there. However, Gwen was hoping to see Snape. Even though she didn't really show it, she was worried for him since he spent so much time with the Death Eaters. She knew he will never switch sides again, but she was afraid he will be exposed, and tortured.

"Good evening, my dear order," Dumbledore greeted them politely, as always. He was in his usual spot, on the other side of the table from Sirius. And Remus sat right to him, Gwen to the left, and Tonks next to her. They really became a group of outcasts. Kingsley sat with Hestia again, and Gwen nudged Tonks to point that out. Tonks made herself a mental note to ask Kingsley about that. Are they dating? Well, she never thought of Kingsley to be a dating kind of guy, and he was about 15 years older than Hestia. But, both of them were the youngest over there. Tonks just turned 22, and Hestia was 25.

"I'm sure you all heard the bad news from yesterday's evening, and I want to assure you, all of you, that Harry is safe, and well," Dumbledore darted both Gwen and Sirius with his look. He knew, and Sirius and Gwen read that from his look. He knew that Gwen went to see Harry, but since he wasn't saying anything about that, they let it slide. "However, Harry must by all means be here as soon as possible. I'll give my word to Alastor now."

"Thank you, Albus. Well, me and those four," he gestured at Gwen, Tonks, Remus, and Sirius. "We made a plan. Harry will be transferred by broom. We'll fly in formation, nine of us: Tonks, Remus, Kingsley, Hestia, Elphias, Dedalus, Sturgis, Emmeline and myself."

All the called out Order members agreed with the plan, and they discussed it a bit more. Dumbledore agreed with the plan, and set the date, 6th of August. He instructed Tonks to send the notice to Dursleys to get them out of the house, as she proposed at the last meeting. Tonks was so happy that she was given such an important task, and Remus was amused by seeing her so excited. That woman made even war vibrant, and interesting.

When the meeting was over, Dumbledore asked for a word with Sirius and Gwen. They were, however, glad that he didn't scold them in front of the Order. They walked into the sitting room, and sat on the dusty couches.

"I'm not angry at you, just to make it clear," Dumbledore said as soon as he shut the door. "However, I'm not glad you did what you did. I guess both of you know how risky and dangerous that was."

Both of them nodded, but Gwen wasn't feeling any remorse.

"It was my idea. Better for me to get out than him, and I'm not sure I could stop him, professor," Gwen said, and Sirius nodded.

"Don't get me wrong, I understand both of you. You, Sirius, is afraid and you're stuck in here. I expected for you to try to break out. And I admire your courage, Gwendolyn, not many people would dare to visit Harry after the night he had. However, I kindly ask you not to do that again. Not alone, anyway."

"I can defend myself," Gwen scoffed, and realised how rude that was.

"I know that, Gwendolyn, don't get me wrong. But you must understand, both of you, that there are people who are risking their lives to keep you safe. Please think about that next time. I understand, but I don't think it was a sharp move. Harry is perfectly safe in that house, and I made sure he won't leave it until we got him."

Sirius and Gwen shared a look, but said nothing.

"Secondly, Harry will not be expelled from Hogwarts. He will have a hearing, and I'll make sure he remains a student."

Sirius sighed loudly at the thought. He already started thinking about Harry being expelled, and them on a run from everyone. It wasn't ideal, but it was something.

"I must say, I'm glad to have you around, Gwendolyn," Dumbledore said calmly, "You bring peace in two of the most restless person I know. I admire your will, and I know you will never join us, just like your mother never did… You may never say it, but you are the part of the Order. And the Order is your family. A family for both of you. Think about that, and take care."

Gwen and Sirius remained sitting on the couch, while they heard Dumbledore leaving the premises. They were surprised with Dumbledore's calmness, as they expected him to be furious. Gwen stood up first, and offered a hand to still confused Sirius. They joined the rest of the Order for a dinner. Just a few more days, and Harry will be here. That thought was the only thing that calmed Sirius now.

* * *

Meanwhile, Tonks wrote the note for the Dursleys in a company of Remus. She had a grin on her face, just like he did when talking about his Marauder time. She was content with herself. She even read the note out loud to him a few times. Her eyes sparkled while she did that, and she lifted her look to look at him from time to time. Her big blue eyes made Remus so distracted. She told him that's her real face, not morphed at all, and since the day she said that he studied her face features to remember them correctly. Her face was sharply heart-shaped, and her nose was in perfect proportion to the rest of her face. Her cheekbones were the only thing connecting her with the Blacks. Those were famous Black women cheekbones, the same her mother had. Her hair was in a shade of teal, and he admitted to himself he liked pink more. And that he liked Tonks. His eyes wandered to her lips. Her full, wide lips, which were now curved in a bright smile. Only one thought passed through his mind, "She's beautiful."

"What do you think?" she asked him, blinking hard, and smiling mischievously. Remus had to admit the sight of her face distracted him so much that he wasn't paying attention to her words. Not because she had nothing to say, but because he knew that whatever she does will be brilliant.

"You're brilliant," he said shortly, and tried so hard to look as normal as he could, even though he was so flustered. Like a teenage boy. Like a smitten teenage boy falling in love with someone he'll never have.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love is in the air... :3
> 
> In the next chapter..
> 
> The Boy Who Lived joins us! More drama? Yes!
> 
> Get ready for impressed Tonks, smitten Remus, relieved Sirius, and well... Snape's opinion about Gwen's little trip to Little Whinging.
> 
> Don't forget to let me know what you think :)
> 
> xx


	13. Birthday no.2

_6_ _th_ _of August 1995_

The day of Harry's transfer came, and Tonks was eager for some real field work. She didn't mind the nights she spent with Remus on a stakeout, but she wanted something more exciting. And, he is joining this Advance Guard mission, so she'll see him anyway, and there is an Order meeting afterwards, followed by Molly's dinner. Tonks was really excited to meet Harry. She liked all the children that occupied the Headquarters, and Remus and Sirius spoke only very best about Harry. And, as a real Auror, she wanted to meet the only person who survived the killing curse. She was just getting ready, and she decided to make her hair short and violet today. Her hair was now different with every time she stepped into Grimmauld Place, and Remus noticed all of the changes.

Tonks entered Grimmauld Place in a really good mood, carrying her broom over her shoulder. She tripped, and accidentally hit old Walburga's portrait with the broom. The portrait screeched, and screamed, until Sirius came to rescue.

"Oh will you shut up? I will set this house on fire along with you in it, as soon as I don't need it anymore, I swear," Sirius gasped, while they pulled the curtains to cover the portrait.

"Wotcher, Sirius," Tonks said embarrassed. To be honest, she, Sirius and Remus were the people who Walburga mostly cursed. Abomination, blood traitor, and a half-breed; those were the nicknames she generously provided for them.

"Hi, Tonks. Moony is waiting for you in the drawing room. Mad-Eye asked not to meet here, so get him for more information," Sirius said with a frustration in his voice. He was frustrated with not being able to help in any other way than stay out of everyone's way.

"Thanks, Sirius," Tonks said, and saw the flinch on his face. "We'll bring Harry here safely, alright? I promise you that! I get that you maybe don't trust Moody, or the Order, but trust me. And Remus."

Sirius nodded, but haven't said anything. He appreciated her words.

"Where is Gwen? She's usually the one at the door," Tonks asked, looking down the hallway.

"She has a study session with Hermione, and Ginny. I thought of joining, but when I hear her talking about potion making, all I see is Snape floating with his cloak, his ugly face all over the place," Sirius twitched, and Tonks frowned.

"Well, I guess that her potion skills are as high as they are because of him, so we can at least be grateful, right?" Tonks smiled, and went to find Remus. She didn't like Snape, but Gwen told her about how many times he helped her, so Tonks grew some respect for him. However, she was still resenting him that he outed Remus' condition, forcing him to quit the job he liked, and was surely brilliant at.

She found Remus curled up in an armchair. He looked peaceful, and so focused on the book he was reading. This was the cosiest he ever looked, but the effects of the coming full moon were visible. His eyes were bloodshot, and the dark circles were more darker on his now paler skin. Tonks never thought to catch him this relaxed, but he didn't flinch much.

"Hi, Tonks," he said, uncurling himself, and placing the book on the coffee table. "Talk to me while I gather my things, right?"

It became their thing. When she came for a mission, she would tail him, and talk about her day while he gathered the things he found useful.

"Well, Kingsley was pretty tense at work, and Scrimgeour gave us a bunch of his so-called homework," she rolled her eyes at the thought of that, and Remus noticed that with the corner of his eye, thinking about how cute she is rolling her eyes. "But I have a day off tomorrow, so, It's not all that bad, I guess. And you? I've never seen you so…" she did some funny body movement, imitating the pose she found him in. He smiled under his breath when he saw her.

"I get really uncomfortable before the full moon. Weirdly enough, that was the only way to feel comfortable in this body," he moved his torso, looking like he is in pain, as he picked up his coat, and a wand.

"Are you sure you're okay? We have a long flight in front of us," she said, biting her lip nervously, looking his tired face. She didn't doubt his skills, she was worried about his well-being.

"I'm alright, I look worse than I feel, actually," he said brightly, and that surprised Tonks. "I mean, my body is feeling it, but I don't feel… off." His tone changed, as he stood in front of her, and looked her straight in her eyes.

"Gwen really knows what she's doing," Tonks said. Because of some unknown reason she felt relaxed as soon as she looked him in his eyes. His eyes were bloodshot, but they looked calm.

"I can't argue with that. Shall we?" he let her go in front of him, as he grabbed Sirius' old broom. It was old, but in good shape and it will definitely serve its purpose. Tonks left her broom at the entrance, because she was afraid she will knock some of those hideous elves' heads off the shelves, just like she woke Walburga. Sirius waited for them, looking nervous, but he knew that now he simply must wait for them to get back. With Harry. He stood in front of the front door, and took a deep breath.

"This is it," he said trying to remain calm, but his voice shook a bit. "Don't mess it up. Get him here safely."

"We will, Padfoot, I already told you that," Remus said, patted his best friend's shoulder, and opened the door, waiting for Tonks to get out first. She stood for a second, and then hugged Sirius hard. He stood there frozen for a second, when she protested.

"Hug me back, tosser!"

And he did. Remus was watching them, and felt warm. Because the craziest idea was on his mind. That Tonks was hugging him like that. He didn't even notice when Tonks skipped by him, carrying her broom. He gave Sirius a worried smile, and left.

"You ready?" she said, mounting her broom, with a strange spark in her eyes, shining like a brightest star.

Remus mounted his broom, feeling a bit sick. To be honest, he never liked flying with a broom. He was good at it, but he didn't like it. His head used to hurt like hell after every flying lesson, and he read in some books that it's, of course, because of his lycanthropy. It was kind of obvious. Who saw a wolf on a broomstick? No one ever.

"Ladies first," he looked at her, giving her a shy smile, and she returned with a devilish one, as she took off.

* * *

_7_ _th_ _of August 1995_

Gwen was nowhere to be seen during the Order's meeting, and she didn't even go out of the cellar for dinner. Molly sent Ginny for her, but she refused. Why? Because she messed up one of Remus' potions, and now she had to brew two others. She couldn't just redo the one she messed up because it needed some time to be perfect. And you can't stop the full moon. She was nervous, and frustrated with herself, and blamed Sirius for it. Since he took her main potions set, she worked on her spare one, and he didn't give her any ingredients, so she had Snape sent them to her. Being so focused, she became completely oblivious of what was happening in the house.

When she finally got up in the dining room, there were only two people sitting in the long room. Remus and Tonks shared a box of chocolates, and a cup of tea. They didn't even notice Gwen walking in, so she looked at them for a second. Tonks laughed so naturally, and Remus looked tired, but she could almost see the sparks in his eyes shining like stars. She was wondering does anybody else see that, or is it only her.

"Hey, Remus, Tonks," she said quietly, quite confused. She wasn't even sure what time it was. She never looked at the clock while making potions. She just knew when it was ready, and when to do the next step, or add new ingredient. Like a little clock inside her head, telling her what to do.

"Wotcher, Gwen, I thought you ran away," Tonks looked at her smiling. "Sit with us?"

"Where is… Well, everybody?" She asked, looking at the clock hanging on the wall. It was half past midnight. "Oh my…"

"Gwen, I know what you're doing down there, and you really don't have to… Breathe a little," Remus said kindly. "Everything went well, I think Harry must be asleep by now. Sirius too. He had one too many glasses of firewhiskey to celebrate that Harry's here."

Gwen stood in front of them, widening her eyes. She forgot about Harry.

"I'm such an idiot…" she said and rushed from the room, on her toes bare feet. She ran up the stairs like a wind. She didn't know where Harry is but that was not important now. She felt bad she wasn't there for Sirius while he waited for Harry. And the meeting was tonight… She cursed herself as she reached the fourth floor, and opened Sirius room a bit too abruptly. The room was dark, and the candles were off, but she noticed the shape of Sirius laying in the bed, snoring silently.

Gwen closed the door and rush by his side. She looked at him for a second. He really slept like he didn't have anything to worryabout, when he had everything to worry about. But she had to wake him up. She kneeled by his bed, placing her arms and her head on the mattress.

"Sirius, wake up," she whispered softly, and nudged him a little. But he was still asleep, and now she smelled the liquor on his breath. "Sirius!"

He opened his eyes at once, and looked straight into her, not even flinching.

"If you changed your mind about me seeing your underwear, you could come before I fell asleep," his voice was husky, and sleepy. He laid on his stomach, lifting himself on his elbows.

"Are you alright now?" she asked, ignoring what he just said. She just can't joke like that.

"I am, but if you let me…"

"Stop it. I'm sorry I wasn't here for you today. I'm such a mess… I tried to fix the potion for Moony, and I lost track of time…"

"Oi, don't worry, mhm? Everyhing's alright, and Snape was asking for you, but didn't want to come to get you," Sirius said, rubbing his eyes. He was a bit embarrassed because he was naked under his sheets, and even though she saw him naked, he felt uncomfortable being butt naked and aware of it in front of her.

"It'll never happen again, I promise," she said softly.

"Right, right, can I sleep now?" he asked as his head fell on the pillow again.

"I'm sorry I woke you… I felt terrible, and I had to apologise," she lowered her look and stared at the mattress now.

"'ey, don't worry about that, believe me if I really needed you I would come and get you. You know how needy I can be," he pinched her cheek, and she slapped him softly on his biceps.

"Good night, Sirius," she stood up, and walked towards the door. Now she needs to search the house to see if maybe this boy Potter is awake.

"Oi, Gwen," Sirius called out, and she turned to look at him in the dark room, now enlighten with the candle light coming from the hallway. "How can you promise something like that? What if we're apart? You haven't thought of the details, Brainy." He teased her, and when he wanted to point out that she's a Ravenclaw, he called her Brainy.

"That's easy. I'll always find you," she said, and left the room.

He descended down to the third floor. Remus' room was open so that meant he's still in the dining room with Tonks. The other bedroom there was opened too. She saw the lights on in the library, so she peeked through half-opened door. Harry was in there, looking at some books. He was looking so distracted. And that meant he felt safe, because his guard was completely down.

"Oh, hi there, Harry," she said, entering the library. The boy looked confused at her, but when he saw the colour of her hair, he knew who she was. Sirius told him about one of his roommates, and he spoke fondly about Gwen. For a second, Harry thought about how familiar she looks. Like he knew her.

"Hi," he said, trying to remain calm. "And you are?" Harry decided to play like he doesn't know anything about her. She wasn't at the meeting, or the dinner, so she wasn't familiar to him enough to get comfortable.

"I'm Gwen," she approached him, and stretched her arm. Harry noticed her nails being painted in black, and that her hands looked like she never did anything in her life. Somehow, Harry wondered why her hands are so nice, and Snape's just aren't. They shook hands, and Gwen gave Harry a small smile.

"Oh, you're Sirius' roommate? And Remus'?" he asked, wanting her to talk more, and not asking him anything.

"Yes, in a really strange circumstances, I became their roommate," Gwen sat on the couch, inviting Harry to sit. He did, and was surprised by her. He couldn't figure what was she up to.

"Let's be honest here, okay?" Gwen asked him, and Harry nodded. "Right. Well, you're not playing me with acting oblivious. I know Sirius told you about me… Look, I know how smart, and talented you are, and I want you to know I'm completely on your side. I'm not part of the Order. I help around, but I'm not part of it. But I'm on your side because…"

Harry looked at her surprised. She basically talked like she could read his mind. And he was suddenly asking himself if that's possible.

"You're not the only one who lost a family because of You-Know-Who. He didn't kill my parents, sure, but in a way he did. And believe me, if I can help in any way with getting him, I will help you."

"Right," Harry said surprised, but Gwen felt and looked honest. And Sirius believed her. So he should too, right?

"Now when we got that straight, I want to see that map those two quacks are bragging about," Gwen smiled at Harry broadly, and he returned her smile, summoning the Marauder's map from his suitcase. They stayed at the library, and talked some more. After a while, Harry felt more relaxed, and he now understood why Sirius talked so nicely about her.

* * *

_8_ _th_ _of August 1995_

It was half past 2 in the morning of Gwen's birthday. The broken window handle was swinging in the air coming from the open window. The pitchy noise woke Gwen up. She went to bed earlier, so she can at least postpone the fuss Molly will make because it's her birthday. But Gwen played that tactically. She asked Ginny to tell her mother not to do anything grand, so Molly agreed on making a cake, and maybe a bit fancier dinner than usual. Gwen agreed on that. It was a compromise, even though she didn't want it. She rolled on the fresh cotton linens, wearing a dark red babydoll set. She stood up to close the window, so that maybe she could fall asleep again. When she closed the window the room fell silent. She curled on her bed, and fell soundly asleep.

On the other side of the wall, Sirius slept like a baby. He felt really calm since Harry was there, even with his hearing, and all that drama. He knew that Dumbledore won't let Harry get expelled, and Dumbledore assured him of that. His sleep was interrupted when silent screams woke him up. A woman's screams. Not too loud, but loud enough. He wasn't sure what was happening. He sat on his bed, listening carefully. Remus and Tonks were on their mission, and he couldn't possibly hear girls or Molly. Gwen. Sirius darted from his bed, and entered Gwen's room only to find her shaking on her bed, half asleep.

"Gwen, wake up, it's just a dream! Wake up!" As he kneeled by her bed, he used her wand to light up the candles. She wasn't sleeping. It must've been her vision. Sirius' eyes widened, and he was petrified. He wasn't sure what he was supposed to do, or how to help her. He just stared at her, and in a second, she was looking at him. Completely conscious.

"Sirius…"

"Was it…"

"I think it… Ah!" she blinked hard, and started to rub her temples. "Yes, it definitely was. Did you…"

"No, I came here at the end, I guess… Do you need anything?"

"No, no," she waved her hand, and two vials came out of her suitcase, right in her hand. She drank both of them instantly, shook her head, and sat on her bed. Sirius was steel kneeling on the floor, looking at her carefully. She looked fresh. Her hair was loose, long and curly, and her eyes sparkled like stars.

"I'm fine, don't look at me like that, please," she asked him.

"Can you walk?" he asked her, completely not planning it.

"Yes, why?"

He stood up, and offered her his hand. She took it, and he helped her get out of the bed. Her night attire wasn't see-through, but it was provocative in a way. He felt uncomfortable, like she shouldn't look at her, but he couldn't help himself. He was a man after all. And she was a good-looking woman.

"Please, put something over yourself," he said, and couldn't believe he just said that. She looked at him a bit embarrassed, and put on a long, black silk robe. He grabbed her hand again, and they walked out of the room. He led her to the bookcase standing in a hallway.

"Pick your favourite book," he said, and let her hand at once. He looked at her curiously. She smiled at the sight of books. Those were both Muggle and Wizard books. Brilliant. But, she picked the Muggle book. _The Stranger_ by Albert Camus with dark green leather hardback. But as soon as she touched the book, the bookcase became transparent. She looked surprised at Sirius, who gestured her to walk through it. And she did, followed by him. When she entered the secret room behind the bookcase she saw her potions set placed in the centre of the room, walls were full with various ingredients, and her utensils were shining on the cabinet. It wasn't much, but it was something that made her heart melt. She looked at Sirius confused.

"Well, I figured you'd like a place for your experiments, potions eh, and I remembered this room. Of course, there were no Muggle books here before, but… Well…"

"This is… Wow!" Gwen placed her hands on her mouth. She felt so happy because she wasn't so pleased with making potions in her room, and the cellar was too dark, and it smelled rotten. Her wasn't so dark because she charmed the ceiling, and it definitely didn't smell so rotten.

"It's not like your place at Hogsmeade, but at least it's not boiling in your room." Sirius smiled at her, and she jumped in his hug. This time Sirius didn't need to be told, so he hugged her back briefly.

"It's… Everything I would want, definitely," she said, forgetting about her vision, and a nightmare she had before it.

"Well, I wanted to tell you sooner, but when you decided to deviate from our Remus and Tonks plan, I wanted to make you wait out of pure spite," he said mockingly. "And Remus helped me to the point we found aconite. It almost made him throw up. Quite funny seeing him green!"

"You don't understand. They both like the way that is now. If we make them work together every night, like you proposed, it won't be good. Tonks would be too exhausted, for first, and maybe they would get bored with each other. This way, they definitely won't. And as I said, they love working together." Gwen said, explaining herself. "And don't ever touch my set again, thank you!"

"I made you fail a potion," he stuck out his tongue at her.

"And I made two others," she stuck her tongue out too, and they shared a laugh.

"Happy birthday, Gwen," he pinched her cheek, and gave her a small peck.

"Thank you!" she smiled warmly at him. "And thank you for this."

They left the secret room, and Sirius stood on the doorstep of his room now, looking at Gwen.

"So I…"

"A moment, please. Do you think I could borrow Hedwig to send Sev a message? We should know what happened in the vision," Gwen said determined, and Sirius wasn't happy because that meant that Snape will come over again.

"I guess not, but shouldn't we use the Patronuses?" Sirius asked, frowning.

"No, Sev told me not to do that because I might be revealed in front of the Death Eaters. You know, if they know the shape…"

"I don't know the shape of your Patronus," Sirius stated, just sharing this thought. He didn't know how her Patornus looked alike. And he knew the Patronuses of all the Order. "But I guess you could use Hedwig."

"Right," Gwen skipped down the stairs, looking like flying. She moved so gracefully, and her robes danced around her body, and the ending tickled her ankles. She wrote a short note – _See you at five._ Hedwig was reluctant to take the letter to Snape, but eventually she gave up and flew away. Gwen came back in her room, but she felt strange when she laid down. She rolled for a half an hour when, she heard Sirius' door opening, and closing. What is he doing? She didn't have to wait long for an answer, as Sirius entered her room.

"Awake?" he asked.

"Come in," she invited him.

"I thought if you…" he felt awkward. He wasn't really sure what he was doing, but he saw she's still not quite right. Maybe she needed to talk, or just not be alone.

"Stay here with me, will you?" she interrupted him like she was reading his mind.

"Okay, but I won't sleep in a same bed with you."

Gwen frowned, and laughed under her breath, trying not to burst into laughter.

"Gwen, I'm not joking now. Only if…" he turned into a dog in a second, and climbed her bed. He placed himself a little lower than her, curled up, and squealed a few times. He left her speechless again. But she patted him on his head, and fell back to bed. Both of them fell asleep quite shortly after that. Even in the house full of people, they felt alone for a second before, and now they weren't. Making falling asleep quite easier.

* * *

Meanwhile, Remus and Tonks were sitting on a cushions, sharing a bar of chocolate, and drinking tea from the thermos Tonks so thoughtfully provided. It became their thing too, sharing a chocolate and drinking tea. Tonks always drank the fruity one, and Remus herbal ones. Tonks hair was now black with neon blue tips. She looked older with darker colours, and Remus liked bright ones better. Pink, especially.

The night after they brought Harry in the Headquarters, Tonks slept there too. They stayed up talking, and playing Muggle card games until almost 3 in the morning. It was the time Remus would most likely wake up, not still be awake. But he wasn't sleepy at all, he wanted to spend some time with her, and he let her cheat purposely, acting like he doesn't see her doing so. She grinned mischievously, and he would let her cheat ten more times, just to see her smile like that. But the morning after that was kind of embarrassing since Tonks did the most Tonksian thing ever. Fell.

_It was almost 10 in the morning, and Tonks just walked out of the shower. Her bed in this house wasn't as comfy as the one in her apartment, but she never liked apparating while tired, because she would always apparate too far away, and the walking made her even more tired. Gwen usually let her borrow some of her clothes, and as much as they weren't Tonks' style at all, she managed to find some pieces that fit her right. She even thought about bringing some of her own clothes there, so that she could have something new to wear when she sleeps over._

_While she was wiping herself with a towel, she figured she forgot the clean clothes. Of course. She wrapped herself in a towel, and tried to leave the bathroom. But the door was stuck and she couldn't open it. Great. Just what she needed. To be naked, and stuck. As she pryed the door with her weight, Remus was just passing by, and he heard her attempts. But as soon as he reached for the handle, something warm, damp, and pink landed onto his chest. Again._

" _Oh my God…" she muttered, when she figured what just happened._

" _Are you alright?" he asked, straightening her up, holding her by her upper arms. Her skin was so soft, and she smelled so fresh. Like a field of flowers. He saw her cheeks turning red, and at that moment he figured. She's naked. Wrapped in a towel. In front of him. And she was pressed to him just a second ago. Naked. In a towel._

" _Yes… I… Um… Can we talk? Like after I fall from the face of this world out of embarrassment?" she said, and darted into her room, closing the door too harshly. She looked at herself in the mirror, and saw that her cheeks are pink just like her hair. And she went to take a shower with blue hair. When did that happen? How could she ever talk to Remus after falling on him. Again. This time naked, and soaked._

_Remus, however, stood in a hallway for a half of a minute. He was trying to comprehend what just happened. And he was surprised by himself. The full moon was in three days, and naturally, he would firstly notice that Tonks is naked, not worrying about her well-being. But no, he wanted to know she's okay first. And he didn't even notice that she was naked while she was practically falling into his arms. The arms which caught her once before. He was struck by the fact that a young, beautiful woman just fell into his arms, and the first thing he looked at were her eyes. Which he saw for a second, because she was embarrased. But he felt kind of embarrassed too. Because she thought about her in a way he never expected to._

They were now sitting, eating, and chatting, when Tonks decided to overcome her embarrassement.

"So… About this morning, I got stuck, and I…" she felt the rush of blood on her cheeks again. Why does she keep blushing like that?

"Oh… I was looking to fix that door, but I forgot. I got stuck once, too. Only I haven't fallen out," he mocked her, because he wanted her not to feel embarrassed. If they tiptoe around the topic, she would be more embarrassed than before, right?

"Mad-Eye was right, I am a catastrophe on two feet," Tonks said, disappointed, and still a bit embarrassed.

"No you're not," Remus smiled at her. "You're many things, but you're not a catastrophe."

"Is that a compliment?" she asked, frowning at him. "No, don't ruin it, I'll just say thank you like a real lady, and ignore the rest."

Remus laughed at her for a second, and then stretched his arms in the air.

"So, I guess it's your time to talk. What will you tell me, Tonks?" he looked her straight in the eyes, and she felt like she was again naked in front of him. But this time she didn't mind. As a matter of fact, she liked it.

"Oh, I can tell you about the time Charlie and me got detention because we put soap in the courtyard fountain," she smiled widely now, and Remus lifted his eyebrows.

"I'm listening."

* * *

Snape entered the house at five sharp, only to find Gwen waiting for him.

"Hey," she greeted him uncomfortably. She knew why he looked for her; he knew that she went out of the house, and was mad.

"I would like to talk to you in private, if you don't mind," he said sharply, and she nodded, gesturing him to follow her. She led him to her room, closed the door, and put a silencing charm, so no one could hear them.

"Do you have any idea how stupid that was, Gwendolyn?!" he spat at her at once, and she couldn't really argue that.

"I know it was, but…"

"No buts. You must stay here and safe. You don't understand what's happening out there, and I really don't want to see you at ne…"

"Whatever I do, I surely won't be captured by them, and I believe me when I te…"

"I'm not listening to this. You're careless, just like that Black. I guess it's his influence," he scoffed at her, and his voice sounded so mean now.

"That's unfair, it's not like I've never done something as stupid as this." Gwen hated that they hated each other. They did manage to be civil around the order, but they weren't sparing each other behind each others backs.

"You really don't get it, huh?" Snape was now standing in front of her, grabbing her by her upper arms. He wasn't hurting her, but it was something unusual. Physical contact. "I risk my life every day, lying to those who are hard to deceive. I lied them about you, risk it all because of you, and why? So you could strut around to see that fool?"

"You're not doing this because of me, don't say that when you know it's not truth," Gwen scoffed rudely.

"I beg your pardon?" Snape flinched, lifted his eyebrows, waiting for an answer.

"And this is our problem from the beginning. You're talking like I'm on the first place, when you and I both know that I am not," Gwen shook his hands off her, crossing her arms on her chest.

"That's not fair," he said, gritting his teeth.

"Oh? It's not fair you are still trying this. I told you, Sev, I'm not a second. First or nothing."

Snape looked at her swallowing the words he wanted to say so bad, but was too afraid to.

"And if I could ever be that in your life, we would be in a really different situation here, right?" she said matter-of-factly, and Snape shook his head.

"I know you can protect yourself, but don't do that again. Do I have to say please for you to listen to me?" he said flatly, trying to seem as emotionless as possible.

"Don't play those tricks on me. But alright, I won't do it again, only if really necessary. Okay?"

Snape let out a loud sigh. It was one of the rare times she agreed with him quickly. Other times he really had to make some effort for that. But he liked that about her. She being so stubborn and determined.

"Happy birthday," he muttered under his breath, standing awkwardly. Gwen smiled at him widely, and flied to hug him. This time she didn't even need to threat him with Imperio curse to hug her back.

"Thank you," she said softly, while hugging him. When they parted, she took a deep breath. "I need you, though."

"For what?" Snape asked suspiciously.

"Well… I had a nightmare, and Sirius thinks it was a vision. But he came too late, so he didn't hear me saying anything, but I would like you to check," she asked reluctantly. She knew he doesn't like to roam through her mind because he always found something that she didn't want him to find. And then they fought, and he didn't have time for that. He rolled his eyes, sighted loudly, but pulled out his wand at once. Gwen understood the hint, and distanced herself from him.

" _Legilimens,"_ Snape said, and pointed his wand at her. She saw a building that was a source of even his nightmares. Azkaban. Dementors flowing. And a crackling laughter. Woman laughter. And Snape knew that laugher. Bellatrix. But what does that mean? He wanted to look some more, but then saw Gwen hopping into Sirius room the day he found her knickers in his clothes.

"That's enough, Sev," she said, and the spell was off. He wanted to see what happened, and why Sirius had her underwear in his hands, but he respected her too much to pry, and find out without her consent. Only one question roamed Snape's mind now; are Gwen and Sirius more than roommates, and friends?

"I'm not shagging him," Gwen said with a small laugh under her breath. "It's funny because he at least asked me directly if I'm shagging you."

Snape lifted his eyebrows as high as he could. Black asked her that about him? Really funny.

"And what did you say?" he couldn't help himself, he was too curious to let it slip.

"The truth? What kind of question is that?" Gwen scoffed at him. "He doesn't know, though… About what happened."

"I guess nobody does then. Accept us two," Snape said flatly. Gwen was now a bit annoyed by his flat voice. He did that when he wanted to change the subject.

"Right. Well… How are you?" she asked him genuinely concerned.

"Fine as I could be. The thing you saw… I think they will break Bellatrix and others out. I already thought of that idea, but that idiot Wormtail is the most useless lump of human parts I've ever seen," Snape's voice was now filled with hatred, and he couldn't help it to not sound so flat as before. "You saw Azkaban, the Dementors, and you heard Bellatrix laughing even more maniacally than before."

"So they are breaking them out?" Gwen asked.

"I suppose. But, I think Lupin and that clumsy klutz could investigate some more on that?"

"Tonks is a magnificent Auror, and a friend, just so you know," Gwen said kind of offended now. Snape was surprised to hear Gwen calling someone her friend. She hasn't done that since Polly died.

"Fine. Lupin and Tonks, happy?" he gritted through his teeth, and Gwen smiled widely. "I'll try to gather some clues to investigate. I'll send you a note as soon as I find out more."

"You won't stay?" Gwen was kind of hoping he'll make an exception to share a meal.

"Surprisingly, not," he said sarcastically. "I have some other things to do. But I got you this."

He handed her a small package, wrapped in a usual brown paper. His hands cupped hers as she took the package.

"Thank you," she said, but knew better than to open it now. Snape waited to give her this gift, so he probably doesn't want her opening it right away.

"If you need me, send me a note, and I'll be here as soon as possible. Just don't…"

"Leave the house, I know, and I won't."

Snape looked at her, let her hands, turned and left. Gwen shook her head behind his back. However, she didn't notice Sirius noticing Snape leaving her room.

She sat on her bed, and carefully opened the package he gave her. It was an antique brooch. The middle was a big, blue sapphire looking stone, rounded by black gems. It was a beautiful piece of jewellery, and she figured it wasn't something he picked personally, so it must've been an heirloom. Maybe his mother's? With Snape, who knew? Sirius caught the sight of Gwen admiring the brooch, and felt a bit disgusted. He would gladly give her a better gift than the one he gave her, but he wasn't in a position to go around and choose gifts. And he didn't want to give her any of Black's jewellery because he hated them. He wasn't jealous, he knew his gift was rocking, but he was most displeased to see Snape gave her a gift she liked, too.

* * *

In the evening, Tonks, Remus, Sirius and Gwen got together at the library again. They toasted to Gwen's birthday, and Tonks brought her a gift wrapped in a shiny blue paper. Tonks morphed her hair in Gwen's colour, but her hair was short and flat, not curly at all.

"Open it, open it!" she was eager to see Gwen's face, even thought the gift wasn't much. Since Gwen couldn't leave the house and buy Tonks a gift, she gave her a vial of her _Felix Felicis_. Tonks carried it with herself since then, because as Gwen said, you never know when you could use some luck. Tonks wanted to return the favour, so she bought Gwen a little something. Gwen unwrapped the paper, and she found a really nice vintage dark orange daily planner, a stack of fine quills, and a box of random chocolates.

"Thank you! This is really nice," Gwen said and hugged Tonks. "And thank you Remus, I almost forgot… Sirius told me you helped with his plan."

"Don't mention it," Remus said. "Just keep that aconite out of my site, because it makes me want to… I don't know is it leave, or die."

"Moony, stop with depressing jokes," Sirius growled, being rather cheerful. "Let's play some music, eh?"

"I choose!" Tonks jumped, and rushed to the Remus' room. All of them looked confused by her outburst of energy, but went with it. Remus showed her his record collection on the first morning she slept in the house. And she knew those were precious to him, so she was extra careful. She chose _Led Zeppelin II_ , and rushed back to the library. Remus' old record player found a permanent spot in the library, since they mostly hung out there and the music was a must for their meetups.

All of them grew quite fond of each other. Gwen and Remus were each other's reading partner, and that was something for both of them. They valued their privacy, and solitude, but yet found it rather comforting sharing it. When they talked, they talked about the things that fascinated them. Remus could never talk like that to Sirius, since Sirius had a nasty habit of turning everything into a joke. With Tonks, he let her lead the conversation in a direction she liked. It was different with Gwen, because both of them were bookworms, and thought similarly because of it. They even commented, and talked about Muggle books, and that's how Sirius knew which is her favourite – Remus found that out, and told him. Gwen and Tonks established a ritual in their coffee drinking, and both of them felt glad with having a female friend to talk to. Sirius and Tonks talked seriously only when something important was happening. Otherwise, they would just joke around. All of them were similar, but different, and that's why they liked to be together like that.

Tonks put the record on, and started dancing when she heard the first notes of _Heartbreaker_. She looked so unsafe on her legs, and she didn't really know how to dance. Gwen came to her rescue, and stood up and started dancing too. Sirius was always the one to dance, or at least simulate dancing. Remus was, however, a good dancer. He had the rhythm, and he felt the music differently. And was now the only one still sitting. Tonks decided that he won't be sitting this one, so she grabbed his arm to stand up. As uncomfortable as he was because the full moon was in two days, he stood up and started to move in rhythm. In seconds, all of them danced. And they danced some more, while drinking Sirius' father's firewhiskey. For that one night, they acted like there isn't a war raging. And like everything is normal, and they were free, alive, and happy.

It was another night Tonks decided to stay at Grimmauld Place. After their mission, and the breakfast, she went home only to get some sleep, and to get her things for the next day. Kingsley gave her an extra free day, but she had to do Scrimgeour homework as soon as she comes back to work. But she already did that on her mission with Remus last night. He helped her with some stuff, but she mostly knew how to do the reports, and she did them perfectly. She didn't like it, but she knew how to do it. Just like Moody. She was already in her bed, reading some drama book Gwen borrowed her. It wasn't too interesting, but it wasn't completely dull, so it might get her to sleep. She was, however, distracted by soft knocks on her door.

"Come in," she said quietly, expecting drunk Sirius or Gwen. But it was Remus.

"Am I interrupting something?" he asked politely.

"No, I've been just… No."

"Good, because I totally forgot about this," he gave her an old piece of parchment. And she instantly knew what that was.

"Oh is it…?" her mouth was now O shaped, and she looked at Remus, who chuckled devilishly. "Sit here."

"Only one way to find out," he said, wiggling his eyebrows with a clear message. Tonks cleared her throat at once, grabbing her wand. Remus now sat on her bed, looking at her.

"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good," she said and tapped the parchment.

When the letters were presented to her, she widened her eyes in surprise. She opened the parchment and saw why Remus said it's not an usual map. It wasn't a floor plan, but the pieces of Hogwarts placed together. Like a mixed up puzzle.

"I can't… Oh my… Look it's Dumble… Oh my holy Merlin!" she said, and Remus was now chuckling harder at her.

"Let me explain it to you, right?"

"Oh explain it to me, Messr Moony, the first of the Marauders," she mocked him, inviting him to sit on her bed.

She was in her usual pyjamas – an oversized T-shirt and knickers. She said a little thank you to God and Merlin for being covered from waist down. Remus sat on her bed, and got closer so he could see the map better. Their arms touched, but both of them liked the feeling the other one's body warmth. He explained her the map in details, with his Marauder spark in his eyes, looking younger than ever during the full moon week. He stole small glances of her, while she was focusing on the map. But he didn't notice something else. Even though she was listening to him carefully, she lifted her look from time to time just to see his face shining so bright while talking about the past he and his friends lived. And again, Tonks was jealous at the Marauders. But for the first time because the Remus then was the one she was looking now. The one with a spark in his tired eyes shining bright like stars on a clear night sky.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Interesting days at Grimmauld Place :)
> 
> In the next chapter...
> 
> What will happen on the night of the full moon?
> 
> We'll do some time jumping, but I guess the chapters will be a bit longer ;)
> 
> Review, comment, whatever :D
> 
> xx


	14. Girls talk boys, Boys talk girls

_10_ _th_ _of August 1995_

It was the night of the full moon, and Remus was more tense than ever. It will be the first transformation since Gwen started to make him Wolfsbane, and the first one in a such small space surrounded by children. Of course, all of the children were strictly forbidden to even set a foot into the cellar, and Gwen took it to another level with drawing the age line. Remus never thought of that, and both he and Sirius stared at Gwen as she performed a spell. She just wanted to make Remus feel as comfortable as it was possible. He appreciated her efforts, but he was still worried, and flustered.

He descended into the cellar wearing an old robe Sirius gave him. Since he agreed to let Gwen watch his transformation, he was too uncomfortable to be naked in front of her, and a robe was good enough to cover everything he thought that needed to be covered. The last room at the end of damp, and smelly corridor was the one intended for Remus' transformations. The one with two steel cages. Old Walburga locked Sirius in a few times there, and Remus knew that, making that place even more disgusting. But it was proper. The wolf must remain in the cage. He left his wand, and spare clothes on the shelf just outside the room. He felt tense because of the people in the house, but he wasn't afraid he will do anything. His mind was not corrupted by the wolf, not even for a bit. Usually, he would feel off as the full moon was approaching, and Wolfsbane successfully prevented that.

The cellar was empty, and Remus wasn't sure what exactly Gwen had in mind. He felt uncomfortable in his body, though, and couldn't wait to transform to release that tension. In a matter of seconds, Gwen joined him, trailed by Sirius.

"I decided to spend the night here," Sirius said, not letting Remus say anything. Remus looked at him, and then switched to Gwen. He was hoping that she won't be there the whole night. They agreed – transformation, and then she's out.

"If you must…" Remus gritted through his teeth. He didn't mind Sirius, but he knew Sirius thought about this before tonight, and he should tell him things like that.

"How are you, Moony?" Gwen asked him cautiously.

"Feeling like I will explode, and not from happiness," he said, and entered the cage, unsure what he to do. Sirius joined him shortly after that. Remus, however, noticed the single hand movement Sirius did while he passed by Gwen, brushing her hand slightly. Gwen shut the cage's door, locking them with a Muggle padlock. She then waved her hand to add extra magical safety. Both of the men looked at her, and Remus was grateful for her being so understanding.

"Well, mine is easier, so…" Sirius turned into his dog form, and jumped a few times around Remus happily. Remus wasn't so thrilled, or excited. He just wanted this to be over.

"Are you still sure you want to look at this?" Remus asked Gwen shyly. He wasn't comfortable with this, but he couldn't refuse her because she helped him so much. The safety he felt because of the Wolfsbane was worth it. And she agreed to leave shortly after the transformation.

"Told you already. I'm just damn curious, and you're here, so…" she tried to smile at him, but she knew that what she will witness tonight is not easy, or anything like that. It's torture for Remus. Pure, painful torture.

Remus' eyes flinched even before he could force a smile out of himself. He twitched a bit, but he knew what's happening. He exactly knew what was happening. And this was the 380th time he faced his fears. The moon. The wolf. Himself.

"Welcome to the freak show," he muttered under his breath, as his pupils dilated and his irises changed colour into sky blue. Gwen stood back a couple of steps, and Remus did too. His body started to shake, and his limbs looked like leaves in the wind, easy, light. He clenched his fists, but didn't make a single sound. Remus fell to his knees, and Padfoot was circling around him. As Remus closed his eyes, he saw the sunflower field. He opened them only to see the stone floor, and Gwen standing there, with her hands on her mouth. Remus didn't make a sound, but the pain was visible by his moves. He twitched more and more, as his back began to hunch. The fabric of the old robe began to crack. Gwen saw Remus' face becoming hairier, and taking a shape of a wolf's head. He closed his eyes, and still saw the sunflower field, and Tonks running through it. This shouldn't happen. This meant he purposely saw her. It wasn't something the wolf did to his mind. It was something Remus did to his own mind. His light brown hair became fur. Grey fur, sprayed with the light brown. The opposite of what his hair was like. Remus' legs slowly grew into paws, and his body didn't look human anymore. His hands, touching the grounds were turning into a wolf's paws, and the cracking of the joints was the only sound in the cellar. Gwen stood breathless, and speechless, looking at small signs of Remus in the wolf he just became in front of her very own eyes. Padfoot stood right next to the wolf, nudging his head. But Remus' head, and thoughts were stuck in that field… Watching Tonks smiling warmly in a summer sunset. She was still there. His mind was right, and she was still there.

Remus stared at his front paws when he finally opened his eyes, head hanging low. It was the sight he hated to see, and be aware of it. He wasn't a man. A man he wanted to be at this point. But he lifted his head, much to Padfoot's delight. Gwen still stood frozen, but all the fear stopped when she realised that Remus was looking at her, piercing her with his wolf blue eyes. She took a step closer, still shocked and impressed with what she's just seen.

"Moony? Are you alright? Are you… You?" she asked, her voice shaking. Who knows if he'll understand her. But he did. The wolf nodded its head, and let out a howl. And with that howl, all the tension brought up in Remus Lupin disappeared. He hated to admit it, but that howl filled his soul in a way nothing else could. Or he thought so…

"Can I?" she stretched her arm. She wanted to feel the wolf's fur under her fingers. She saw it, heard it, smelled it, and she only just wanted to touch him. Remus stretched in his old new body, and walked closer to her, so she could touch him. She placed her hand on his neck, feeling the pulse. The pulse of the same heart that was beating in a man that lived with her in this house. And Remus was surprised with her reaction. She didn't flinch, she just let everything she just saw, and experienced soak in. She wasn't disgusted, or afraid.

"I will make you alright in the morning, don't worry. Now rest, okay?" she said, looking him straight into his eyes. Wolf nodded. He couldn't answer to her, but he understood every her word. And he knew she was right. Padfoot stood behind, looking at them wagging his tail. He was amused with Gwen's surprised, but not at all scared or frightened face. Of course, she knew Remus won't do anything to her, but still. Sirius walked to stand by Remus' side, in Gwen's reach to give him a pat on the head, too. And she did, before she turned, and left the room. She really did keep her promise. As soon as she sees what she wants to see, she's out.

* * *

 _11_ _th_ _of August 1995_

Tonks was pacing nervously at her apartment. She was on the night guard for the prophecy, and the Order missions without Remus were just boring. She almost fell asleep one too many times, and she couldn't allow that to herself because the prophecy must be protected. Sleepy Auror is not much of a protection. She woke up after only a few hours of sleep, like she was worried about something. Gwen asked her not to come in the morning because of Remus, but they agreed on Tonks visiting before her night shift at the Ministry. Kingsley was, once again, the one who made her life easier. He signed her up for night raids, and the one tonight was with him. Some poor bloke in Bristol thought he could smuggle a bunch of tampered goblets without getting caught. Kingsley was on this case because the Ministry thought that the smuggler is connected with Sirius.

She was still in her pyjamas, as she was while she made an entire tray of cornish pasties. Tonks was dead awful at everyday cooking. Not like she didn't know how to cook, more like she always found a way to mess up whatever she did. Or the kitchen. And her kitchen was a real mess now, but Tonks was an expert in comfort foods. So she made Cornish pasties with extra cheese, and the cream pudding was boiling on the stove. She will bring that to Remus. She saw him after the full moon, and that man needed some comfort. She decided she will come even earlier than expected to Grimmauld Place. If Remus is not awake, she will share some coffee with Gwen, and possibly Ginny, Hermione and Molly. And Hestia was on the prophecy guard, so maybe she'll be there too. Real women gathering.

She took a quick shower, and morphed her hair into medium length, baby blue locks. She picked her not-so-favourite casual outfit – regular jeans, and pretty regular shirt. After all, she must control herself because of the raid. Kingsley would curse her into oblivion if she came there dressed improperly. The food she made was in enchanted plastic boxes, packed for the go. The enchantments were supposed to make them best possible – pasties just hot as they needed to be, a cream chocolate pudding cold as just taken from the fridge, and a warm green tea, Remus' favourite, sealed in a Muggle thermos. The very same one she would bring with her on their missions. She packed the things in her rucksack, put on her boots, and she was ready to go.

Tonks entered the Grimmauld Place cautiously. She heard all of the children's voices from the sitting room, which was closed. Tonks decided not to bother them. She was here with a goal: bring Remus some comfort food. She went straight to the staircase, thinking about maybe finding Gwen, or Sirius. However, that was quite impossible because Gwen was in her potions room, and Sirius was with her. She climbed, as silent as she could be, up the stairs to the third floor. In seconds, she stood at Remus' door, a bit nervous. What if he doesn't want to see her? She took a deep breath, and knocked four times.

"Come in," Remus voice was huskier than usual, but she was relieved to hear him. He was there, and well. She opened the door slowly, and smiled brightly.

"Wotcher, Remus," she closed the door upon entering. Remus was sitting in his bed, covered with sheets, reading a book. He had a plain white T-shirt on, and a pair of training trousers. He looked so comfy, yet better than the day before when she saw him. He didn't look tired at all, and his skin was less pale than before.

"Tonks," he put the book on the nighstand. "I wasn't really expecting to see you today." He straightened himself, his bottom part of the body still covered by sheets.

"Well, I came earlier than announced. Gwen forbid me to check out here after the guard because of…" she figured she began rambling before even asking him the most important question. "Forget that, how are you feeling?"

"I'm surprisingly fine. Gwen made her miracles again. I still feel tired, though, but I was just thinking about going downstairs to eat something. Join me?" he asked her, uncovering himself, sitting on the edge of the bed.

"No, no, no, stay in bed," Tonks jumped, and pushed him back in his previous position. "I brought you something!"

She put down her rucksack on his bed, and Remus was now looking at her amused, surprised, and glad. Her presence made him feel so warm. And he was happy to really see her, not only as a figment of his imagination. She pulled out the boxes.

"First, some Cornish pasties with extra cheese," Tonks handed him the plastic box filled with delicious pasties. He opened it at once, and took a deep breath.

"This smells delicious, I must admit," he said, amused. His senses were still quite high. "Didn't know you can cook. Pardon me, but by your attitude around kitchen work, I thought you must be awful at it."

"Well, you're not wrong. I'm terrible, and I mean really terrible with regular meals. But this is comfort food. And comfort food is something you must know if in Hufflepuff. So, eat! It'll make you feel better, come on." She was eager to see if he'll like her cooking.

"Join me?" he smiled. "And thank you. This is… Brilliant."

Tonks hopped happily on his bed, and they shared a bunch of Cornish pasties. Those were great, and both of them enjoyed them. Remus was surprised, and once again impressed with Tonks' abilities. If all of her comfort food is this delicious, she really is a master chef. They talked about how both of them nicked the food from the kitchen at Hogwarts, even though elves would give them whatever they wanted. But it was more fun that way. The green tea soothed Remus even more, and he was now pretty full. But of course, Tonks had more surprises.

"And for the dessert…" she pulled out another plastic box from the bag. "Creamy chocolate pudding, a dream for a chocoholic!"

"I won't admit I'm a chocoholic, but I won't refuse this either," he took the box from her hands, and opened it. Tonks summoned two spoons that came darting from the kitchen. When Remus tried the creamy pudding, he was even more delighted. It tasted like heaven. He watched at Tonks taking a spoonful, leaving a bit of the pudding on her lips. And Remus instantly though how sweet the pudding must be from her lips. However, he felt ashamed of his thoughts, so he lowered his look. He shouldn't think in that way about her. But she figured that something is going on, not sure what.

They talked some more, sharing a box of pudding, laughing, and joking. Remus never felt so relaxed after the full moon. Even with his friends at Hogwarts, he was sore, moody, tired, and passive the day after the full moon. He wasn't sure was it the potion, or just the presence of one colourful young witch, which sat on his bed in front of him. Which brought him the most delicious comfort food he ever had. Which talked, and joked with him, understanding he doesn't really want to talk about the horror he lived through at night. Tonks respected Remus' privacy about his lycanthropy, even though she had a hundred and one question about it. But she didn't want to pry, so she didn't even know how or when he got inflicted, just that he was bitten. She felt so warm, and familiar. Just like in his pre-transformation vision. She felt like the best soothing treatment there is, better than any potion or food. And he let himself absorb every her word, movement, flinch or smile.

* * *

 _9_ _th_ _of September 1995_

It was the night of the next full moon, and Remus felt more relaxed because the house wasn't filled with children anymore. Sirius was sad because they were gone, and spent three whole days after their departure in Buckbeak's room. The only person who he let in was Gwen, and only for food. Remus knew that when Sirius is in that shape, he should be left alone. He told that to Gwen, who respected it, and appreciated Remus' pointing it out. And he got a letter from Harry, just the other day, feeling worried about his scar. Remus, Gwen and Tonks hoped that Sirius' talk with Harry would at least relax him one bit. But nothing, he was still hiding in Buckbeak's room.

However, Sirius was standing right next to Remus in that cellar, when the time came for his transformation. Sirius was afraid for Remus, and he liked being with him better than being upstairs, waiting for him to come back. And he needed to think less, so spending the night as Padfoot was just something that might help. He revealed his plans to Gwen and Remus at the dinner, and Gwen sent Hedwig to Tonks, asking her to come by. Tonks agreed, and got to the house after Remus and Sirius locked themselves in the cellar.

Tonks and Gwen went to the library with a bottle of fine wine Gwen nicked from the cellar. Well, it wasn't really nicking since Sirius told her to use, and get whatever she likes or wants. Gwen made them some meat pie, and now they were lounged on a library sofa, with Remus' record player playing in the background. Tonks brought one of her records, newer music, grunge. Gwen liked it, so they let it play silently. They already finished two bottles of wine, when Gwen opened the third one. Tonks had the day off tomorrow, so she decided she can get drunk with Gwen, who obviously needed some relaxing. Gwen never mentioned it, but staying in that house really was maddening, and after she promised Snape she won't leave it, she had no choice.

"So, how do you like living here with those two? I somehow see them as really high maintenance," Tonks said, while Gwen braided her pink hair, which was now longer than she's ever seen.

"Well, Remus is not. He is so humble, and does everything by himself. He understands privacy. Sirius not so much, just the other day he walked into the bathroom while I was showering…"

"He did what?" Tonks flinched, but Gwen set her head steady right away.

"Yes, I threw him out, naturally, but he is sometimes so strange," Gwen smiled unknowingly when she said that. Tonks didn't see it, but she heard it in her voice.

"What do you mean?" Tonks asked curiously.

"Well… You know when someone is here, and in one moment you feel like he's 100 percent here, and in another moment he is elsewhere?"

Tonks nodded, even though she didn't really understood Gwen's words. She figured it's something similar to Remus' secretive behaviour. Sometimes he would just get so closed up, and in the other moment he would reveal some secrets to her. From extreme to extreme in a second. She didn't realise Sirius had the same behaviour.

"Well, that's something he does all the time… For instance, he got that Harry's letter, and he doesn't want to talk about it. And I'm sure he would feel better if he talked. It doesn't have to be with me,. To be honest, I expected him to talk with Moony."

Tonks braid was finished, and it resembled the thick braid Gwen loved to wear. She turned to face Gwen, who was now taking a sip of fabulously fine wine in some really expensive Black crested glass.

"Well, you know… I've seen a lot of things during my Auror training, and people after Azkaban… They just aren't the same. I get why, imagine being surrounded by the Dementors all the time," Tonks flinched, and took her glass.

"No, no, I completely understand that.. It's just…"

"Listen to me now… According to what I've heard from Remus, Sirius is still uncomfortable around people. Remus noticed that, and I get he's right. He knew him before, after all. You saw Sirius when Harry was here. I guess that's the happiest we'll see him around here…" Tonks said, sounding a bit sad at the end of her sentence.

"I understand all of that, believe me… I'm master in closing up, can't deny it. But he… I don't know, I just think he shouldn't keep his feelings bottled up anymore, you know? It's perfectly normal to feel concerned, given what's happening," Gwen said, and her voice shook for a bit. She just wanted to help Sirius, who obviously wasn't feeling well.

"What did Harry say in his letter?" Tonks asked, trying to think of a plan.

"I don't know, Sirius hasn't told me," Gwen said, and noticed Tonks eyes firing up. "And we're not breaking into his room now to get that letter. No, Tonks, that's not alright. If he wanted us to know, he would tell us…"

Tonks rolled her eyes, but understood Gwen's thoughts.

"Fine… Then I guess we wait until Sirius decides to tell you, or Remus," Tonks smiled devilishly. She knew that Remus will tell her what happened. Not because he couldn't keep a secret, but because they grew to share news, and things that happened around them.

"I guess… Have you asked Kingsley about Hestia? I'm sure there is something going on between them!" Gwen said, and poured them another glass of wine which was as red as her hair.

"No, I haven't had a chance, but I will! Definitely! I… WE must know that! If they are together, or something…" Tonks burst laughing. "That would mean that the Order of the Pheonix is a good place to find a boyfriend."

"You like Kingsley? Like in an I-want-to-shag-his-brains-off way?" Gwen asked surprised, as they cheered, and drank some more.

"No… Merlin's pants, no! He is repulsive to me in that kind of way. But he is a great bloke… And a really good colleague! But definitely not my type," Tonks said, thinking about who actually is her type. And surprisingly, an idea she never thought of, passed her mind. The werewolf in the basement would too be a great boyfriend. And he was… attractive.

"And what is your type? Or better said, who?" Gwen now grinned devilishly.

"I don't know… I guess I don't have a type like in looks," Tonks said. "Let me explain… Charlie for instance, is a really handsome bloke, according to some standards. But I don't find him appealing. He is a great friend, and we have so much in common, but I don't see myself… Doing some cute couple things with him, you know?"

Gwen nodded. Both of them were quite drunk by now, so they understood the words that were spoken, but their expression was lacking at best.

"Although, he was my first… you know," Tonks murmured, and took another sip.

"Oh? I don't get it…"

"You know… We were each other's first," Tonks wanted to avoid saying it out loud, but Gwen's confused face made her give up. "We shagged. Once."

"Oh… Oh! But I don't get it… You don't find him appealing, and you don't fancy him in that way, but you shagged him?" Gwen now asked straight forward. They went deep in women's topics, so there is no backing out now.

"We agreed on doing it… You see, it was in our last year at Hogwarts. Both of us haven't, and I couldn't find someone who wanted me, and not something I could morph out. Charlie wasn't ever really into dating, but he wanted to know what all the fuss is about. So we agreed on doing… that. It was kind of awkward kissing him, though," Tonks's face now had a weird grimace, but Gwen was listening to her carefully. "But we did it, and I'm glad it was him. I trust him, and he is a friend. So it was a mutual help. However, I couldn't… you know…"

"Come?" Gwen lifted her eyebrow, and smiled devilishly.

"Yes… And I guess it would be like that if I shagged Kingsley, too," Tonks said, and flinched a bit because she never, ever thought about Kingsley in that way.

"Right, I understand. Well, have you found someone after that? Your type?" Gwen asked.

"No, not really… I mean, I was in two serious-like relationships after that, but I wasn't feeling it, you know? Something was missing. Can't really describe it. The shagging part was great, the connection was made, but it wasn't… I don't know.

"I know," Gwen sighed. "Had one just like that. Everything was tense, and filled with… You know, sparks, magic and stuff. But when I kissed him… I felt something, but I knew he will never kiss me, with the same feeling I could develop for him. So I broke it off."

"Oh…" Tonks wanted to know more, but was too shy to ask. Gwen, however, didn't want to talk about that man in her life. "Was that the Muggle you were with?"

"No, no… It wasn't. And the Muggle's name was Felix, for real," Gwen smiled. "We met in Paris. You know, he sang me Elvis' songs under the window once. Have I told you that before?"

Tonks shook her head, and they poured another glass, even though it wasn't really necessary.

"Yes. It was when I first left him. I did that thrice, you know… First time it was because I was afraid he'll figure it out, and ran away. And I was right because eventually he did that. But you know, I was young… foolishly thinking the love can conquer everything. Second time was when he proposed to me for the first time…"

Tonks spit some of her wine when she heard the word propose. Gwen laughed at the sight of that, but she waved her hand to clean up the mess right away.

"I'm sorry, but what? You were engaged?" she asked confused.

"Yes. I left him, but he followed me… So I said yes. A month before our wedding, I decided to tell him. And well… When I showed him basic stuff I can do, he went green. We were together for a day after that. I couldn't stand him looking at me like I'm some kind of freak. He didn't look at me like before ever again… So I left him for the last time, and obliviated him. I still have the ring he got me…" Gwen said with sadness in her voice, and Tonks didn't know what to do so she hugged Gwen hard.

"That Felix is a prick! He could have magical children with a great magical woman. What does he know?" Tonks said while hugging Gwen.

"It's not his fault. I guess the love is not enough… Not always, anyway. I must say, it broke my heart. But you know, maybe I'm not destined to have a love like that in my life," Gwen said sounding like she will cry.

"Oh, stop it! You're pretty, nice, smart, a bit frightening, but in a good way, and the way you walk is hypnotizing even for me! I bet all the eligible bachelor wizards would date you in a second," Tonks wanted to cheer Gwen up. "And if anyone breaks your heart again, I'll hex his balls off, and pack him in his own ball sack!"

Gwen burst into laughter at Tonks words, and they shared a laugh.

"I would love to see that, I must admit," Gwen laughed. "And thank you! The same goes to you. I get it's harder for you to build a relationship, but you know, even without morphing you're quite interesting. You're a brilliant young witch, looking all lovely but I guess it's better not to piss you off."

"You bet it is!" Tonks said, cheering and finishing her glass. "But I think even I can get unnoticed."

"By who, please? Everyone with a healthy set of eyes would notice you! You have that unique appearance, and exuberant energy. Even Moony smiles all the time when you're around, and he is not smiling so often, you know?"

Tonks felt warm hearing those words, but didn't show it. She was sure that she doesn't have a romantic feelings for Remus. Those were friendly feelings. 100 percent friendly.

"You never told me what Felix looked like!"

"Oh… he had long black hair, and a pair of piercing dark eyes. A bit taller, quite muscular. I guess that's my type since not one of my boyfriends were fair haired," she shrugged, and Tonks' drunk mind had the craziest thought. But that thought was flushed by Gwen's drunk giggling.

They talked a lot that night. It was their first drunk talk, and they bonded over their bad luck with relationships. They finished two more bottles of wine when they finally gave up. But both of them fell asleep in the library, curled into fuzzy blankets which Tonks transfigured from old ones. Both of them looked so peaceful, and only empty bottles, glasses, and plates revealed they had quite the night.

* * *

 _10_ _th_ _of September 1995_

Around 6 o'clock in the morning, Remus opened his eyes slowly. He felt different, and he instantly looked at his hands. Human. Thank God. He saw Sirius sleeping with his back pressed to hard, cold stone floor. Remus stood up, naked now, and stretched. He wasn't ashamed of being naked in front of Sirius since this wasn't the first time to be in this exact situation. He stretched his arm to grab clothes he prepared for the morning. He needed a shower so bad, but the dark blue robes will provide him the protection he needed. When he dressed himself, he nudged Sirius. Sirius ignored, so Remus pulled his tail. The dog squealed, and woke up. In a second he wasn't a dog, as Sirius now stood in front of Remus.

"Moony… Are you alright? I hope those potions are working," he said, placing a hand on his friend's shoulder.

"I'm fine, I'm fine. I just need a shower," Remus sighed, but sat again on the floor, with his back pressed against the stone wall.

"You don't look like everything is alright. So, spill it, what happened?" Sirius placed himself next to Remus. They were still locked. The two of them locked in a cage. Ironic.

"Hmm…" Remus muttered, not quite sure how to talk about this. He wanted to tell Sirius what he saw before his transformation.

"Come on, Moony… Talk to me," Sirius tried to cheer Remus up. When there were at Hogwarts, Remus would mostly talk to James about those kind of things. The main reason was that James wouldn't tease him as much as Sirius, and Sirius would mostly embarrass him. But that was twenty years ago. And James is not here. No one is, except Sirius. He sighed loudly, and crouched his legs, pulling them to his chest.

"You know how I told you that sometimes before the… transformation, some images keep flashing my mind?" he asked cautiously, waiting for Sirius' reaction.

"Yes. You said that the picture changes… You can't control it, right?" Sirius asked, confused. "Why are you asking me this?"

"Well… For the last two, three transformations… I had the same image in here," Remus said, tapping his temple with a pointing finger, staring at the bars in front of him.

"What did you see? I don't get it the last two were… It's not wolfsbane… No, I don't get it," Sirius couldn't say anything. When his mind went like that, he couldn't make even the simplest sentence.

"I don't know. I can't control it without Wolfsbane. But with it… It's like I want to see what I'm seeing, and that doesn't make sense," Remus gasped, lowering his head.

"You're not telling me this right, Moony, what are you seeing?" Sirius asked once again, and Remus murmured something. Sirius couldn't possibly understand him. "What?"

"Tonks," Remus said so silently that it was almost non even hearable.

"Excuse me?" Sirius heard him, but he needed to hear it again to understand it completely.

"Sunflowers. You know? Wild ones. Field of it. Sunset. Summer. And… Tonks." Remus' head sunk lower than before, and he didn't see Sirius' eyes widening.

"Tonks? Really?"

"Yes. She's just… There, running, being herself. Nothing special, or I don't know…"

"So you… fancy Tonks?" Sirius asked straight forward. It was pretty a yes-no question with no much space for diversion.

"Well, of course. She is funny, brilliant, creative, determined… And she can really pick a right chocolate," Remus raised his head, and his lips curled into a smile while he talked about Tonks. Sirius saw that, but he knew if he goes further it might be wrong. On the other hand, he couldn't help himself.

"So you fancy Tonks?" he repeated the question, expecting a more detailed answer now. Yes answer.

"Well I do," Remus said, but only then understood he fell into Sirius' stupid trap. "Not like that, Padfoot, you know…"

"No, I don't know," Sirius interrupted him. "Lie to yourself if you must, but I've never seen you smile like that when talking about someone."

"I wasn't smiling," Remus felt like his cheeks will turn pink. If that happens, Sirius will never, ever leave him alone.

"And you're not blushing now," Sirius noticed, and took the chance that was given to him.

"I'm… I don't know, alright? It's strange. She is so different, and yet I like time spent with her. She is a great storyteller, and she is very interesting. And very observant…"

"Alright, so, you like being with her, and you talk about her like James talked about Lily, but you don't fancy her in that way?" Sirius mocked him now a bit, but he knew Remus needed some push when it came to women. "You'll see it soon…"

"How did you know? About Marlene… You know, when you came to me that night, and told me there is no grey with her. All or nothing," Remus said under his breath. Sirius words were his thoughts, to be honest. It was something that crossed his mind. He shoudn't be thinking about Tonks' lips, or hugs just casually like that. Was he really lying to himself?

"Marlene? Oh… That lasted for so long, you know. I knew I didn't want casual with her from a moment I wanted to be with her every day. I just didn't want to be without her, I guess…" Sirius sighed on a memory of his once great love. When Marlene died, he was devastated, but by then they broke up, and his feelings cool off. If it wasn't for the war, however, he would definitely propose, and luckily marry Marlene McKinnon one day. After at least five more years of pure fun.

"Oh… I've never…" Remus sighed, and refused to finish the sentence. He never felt that for anyone. Every crush he ever had was different. He knew that at some point he would want his potential girlfriend to leave him alone, and not to come any closer to him. And none of his fling knew about his lycanthropy. He could control himself quite fine, and he knew that he can't do anything sexual in a week of a full moon. His senses were wild then, and he was afraid he would lose control. Not that he was ever on a verge of it, or that he was ever in a situation where he felt endangered in that sense. The self-control he had was on an impressing level, always. And for the first time he felt like he was losing control.

"Never? Really?" Sirius asked. He always thought that Remus would find himself a nice woman who would love him and accept him. Sirius hoped that would happen because he knew how poorly his friend thought about himself. Remus shook his head, confirming his words. "Wow… your self-control…"

"It's not like I can control that, Padfoot, I just never felt it," Remus said, his head dropping again.

"And yet, you see Tonks in moments where you most likely want to be alone," Sirius said, grinning now. Gwen was right, he didn't even need Remus to admit it. It was a fact.

"I don't know why that's happening… Let me explain this, please. You see, I like spending time with her, and I won't deny that. I like talking to her, and I even sometimes feel like I could tell her everything. The whole story. And I never felt the urge to do that. Never have I wanted to tell someone, anyone… Everything. But she's different. She talks to me like I'm the same, like I'm normal," he felt Sirius' look, but he didn't care at this point about that. "She talks to me like there is nothing wrong with me when we both know that there is a lot of things wrong with me.

"I can't agree with you on that because the only thing wrong with you is your attitude. And you know, maybe she likes… Spending time with you, too," Sirius said flatly, but grinning like crazy. He knew if he said she fancies him too, Remus will cave, and the conversation will be over.

"I can't deny that either, since she does those little things that… I don't know," Remus sighed loudly.

"Moony… In my honest opinion, without any mischief or mockery, I think you do like her in a way you don't like to like anyone. But I don't see a problem with that, because she knows…"

"She doesn't," Remus interrupted him. "She knows what I am, but not what I'm capable of."

"Then tell her, eh? I think she would be eager to know everything about you," Sirius wasn't even trying to hide his grin now. He was obvious, and Remus accepted that.

"I don't know… I want to, but I feel like she will run away screaming," Remus said shyly, and sadly. Sirius spat laughing.

"Are you joking? She's a bloody Auror, trained by Moody. If she's not scared of angry Moody, then she is fearless, and as you said brilliant," Sirius stated, beating Remus with his own words. "And I guess she would be really interested in hearing something else than your shallow stories."

"What do you mean shallow stories?" Remus asked, confused now.

"Well, you have a tendency to tell a lot, but not really say anything. You can tell her all about the mischief we did, but you won't tell her how we treated you after the full moon. And that's just the first example out of many," Sirius was proud because he was beating this conversation magnificently. He always loved to win over Remus in an argument. And that happened rarely.

"At least something I could tell her is funny, and that's that," Remus said defensively. He was right though, the happiest of his times were exactly his times spent with the Marauders.

"Yes, but not all stories need to be funny, Moony. And I'm sure she would like to know more about the real you, not just funny you," Sirius now looked at his friend under his brows. He was right with every word.

"I don't know…" Remus sighed.

"Think about it, and you'll see I'm 100 percent right," Sirius said victoriously.

Remus remained silent. He wasn't sure what to say anymore. He was uncomfortable enough, and Sirius would like always try to reassure him. And now he did a good job, actually. Because Remus suddenly felt the urge to talk to Tonks. To tell her everything. Just like he broke in front of Lily. He would tell her about the night when the horror started. The night Greyback scarred him for life, and took the life he was supposed to have out of his hands. He wanted to tell her how he never thought he'll attend the magical school like his father, and how his mother slowly began to deteriorate because her perfectly healthy baby boy was now a werewolf. Or how his father grew cold with the resentment he had for himself, and regret he felt because he offended Greyback. He wanted to tell Tonks about the night Dumbledore visited his house, announcing he could attend Hogwarts. How he was placed in Gryffindor, and how the boys figured what was going on. How they didn't care, and how that was the first time he got real friends. How Lily found out, and how he had a whole group of people knowing, trying to help him in every way possible. And how all of those friends were dead for him for years, before he found out that Sirius is innocent. How he grew bitter, and hateful for himself mainly because he couldn't do anything to save James, Lily, Dorcas, Marlene… Even Sirius and Peter. How his friend circle was a really small one now, containing only Sirius, her, and well, Gwen he guessed.

"What's on your mind, Moony?" Sirius broke the silence. It wasn't an awkward one for both of them, because they knew what just happened. That Remus was contemplating Sirius' words, soaking them in.

"Ah… Too many things, now, to be honest," Remus sighed. "But I have a question for you."

"Shoot," Sirius said quickly.

"I saw the hand touch between you and Gwen. And that room… You care for her. That's obvious, and don't insult my intelligence with lying about it, so right?"

"I do, I don't have a problem admitting it," Sirius said at once, but figured they have a different meaning of those words. "But in a friendly way, you know?"

Remus scoffed, but accepted the answer without a fight.

"She's understands some things differently than others," Sirius said, his voice cracking a bit. "She had a really rough time, and I know she told you parts of it. I guess that's why she understands me better than, well you… Don't get offended now."

"I won't, but I don't get what you think," Remus frowned.

"You know how you used to criticise my ideas back at Hogwarts? You would always try to find flaws in my plans first, and then maybe allow it. On the other hand, James would always firstly say yes, and then thought about the details," Sirius sighed loudly at the mention of James. That wound will forever hurt him. The sound of James' name opened the wound apart every time. Remus learned how to live with facts, but Sirius was locked for way too long. He had twelve years to thing about everything, making his wound so deep, that sometimes it choked him to think about it.

"Yes, but I don't get that Gwen would be up to your plans, either," Remus said, frowning some more. He believed his words, and was right.

"She definitely wouldn't, but… Instead of thinking about the flaws like you, she would find my reasoning, and think about the compromise. A compromise that would, given the experience I had with her, be the best possible solution. And that's something I can't… I don't know. I appreciate her, and I respect her so much because of that," Sirius looked at the tips of his stretched legs.

"I see…" Remus said, he understood Sirius thoughts, but wasn't really sure what that meant. "What's up with her and Snape? I figured she doesn't want to talk about it, but maybe she…"

"She didn't, and I don't know. They seem, quite close right?" Sirius finished Remus' thoughts, and Remus shrugged, not sure what to think about that subject. Tonks mentioned that Gwen and Snape are close, and they joked about the possibility of Gwen and Snape having history. But on the other hand, they did have some strange vibe.

"The letter… Harry's. His scar hurts, and that Umbridge gal is giving him nightmares," Sirius changed the subject. He didn't want to think about the possibility of Gwen and Snape in any different relationship than they had now. And even that was hard to describe. Just the fact of Snape being around more turned his face into a grimace.

"Don't mention that woman's name in front of me. Frigid old bitch. She and her werewolf legislation. Tonks said she is a nasty piece of scum, too," Remus with obvious disgust in his voice. When he took the post in Harry's third year, he saw how hot-headed Harry can be, so he was afraid Harry will get into some unnecessary arguments with a new professor. "I hope Harry would find a way to reason with her. Or at least to hold his temper."

"Hardly doubt that, she gave him detention on a first class she held," Sirius said, and laughed under his breath. He was kind of proud of Harry.

"This shouldn't be amusing you, Sirius," Remus said reprovingly. "He should not get in any conflicts with her. There is a lot going on without him making the Ministry mad, you know? They are already bashing him…"

"I know, I know. I wanted to go to Hogsmeade, you know? To talk to Harry face to face…"

"You're mad, Padfoot. That's the same as walking into a Ministry. Your cover's been blown on the station, and you and I both know it," Remus said hardly, and Sirius smiled.

"Exactly what I mentioned earlier, you're always trying to see the flaws. And Harry said no, so… I guess there's no point in going there if he doesn't want to see me," Sirius sighed loudly.

"That's not true, and you know it. He's just worried. I heard him talking to Gwen in the library just the other day. She told him about her little trip, and Harry looked so relieved when he heard you stayed here. He's anxious, and afraid he'll lose you. And he doesn't deserve to lose someone again, Padfoot," Remus now looked at Sirius with his best professor face he had.

"I told him some things I think I regret now," Sirius said softly, thinking about his comment about Harry being less like James than he thought he is.

"And I'm sure Harry will get over it. But you must think about the safety of both of you, right?"

"I know, but I want to talk to him face to face. This way… I don't know, I don't like him being there with that awful hag. I would prefer if you were still teaching."

"But I'm not, and we must remain cold-headed, right?" Remus said matter-of-factly, and Sirius couldn't argue with that.

"I suppose," he sighed in defeat. "But I still think…"

"I know, but you back in Azkaban is not an option," Remus said, stood up at once, and offered a hand to his friend. He was surprised by how well his body felt. Gwen gave him some other potions to prepare for the full moon, and he took them along with the Wolfsbane. He felt… Normal. Sirius took his hand, and they left the cage finally.

"I can't believe how well you look… You've never looked like that, Moony," Sirius said genuinely surprised when he saw Remus under the soft morning light that peeked through old windows. Since the Weasleys left the house, and the cleaning was done, the house looked more homey than before. It wasn't a delight to be there, but it was definitely better than before.

"I don't know how I look, but I feel great," Remus said, surprised with the speed he had on the stairs. His joints hurt only for one or two times, nothing serious. And he felt less tired, even though he wanted to sleep some more in his bed. "Well, not great, but quite good."

"I'm glad to hear that, but I need more sleep," Sirius yawned. "All this talking made me sleepy."

They were now on the third floor, when Remus figured the library door being closed.

"I don't remember closing that door, and Gwen always leaves them open," he said suspiciously, and headed towards the door, with Sirius following.

When he opened the door, the scene in front of them made them both speechless. Empty bottles of wine were laying on the table, a few of the records were there too, along with the dirty dishes. Curled up on a couch were both Tonks and Gwen, each of them on a different end of the couch, covered in fuzzy blankets. Sirius and Remus shared a look, and started laughing quietly. Remus closed the door, so they wouldn't wake them up.

"I can't believe what I've just seen," Sirius said through his laughter. "They got drunk as fuck while we were sleeping downstairs. I must admit, that's something."

"We should wake them, they will be so stiff if they sleep like that. And Tonks has her day off anyway," he said when he finally could control his laughter.

"Hm, I don't want to wake them up. Think I could get Gwen upstairs with some levitating charm?" Sirius asked, making a wondering face.

"Yes, if you want to give her a concussion because you will definitely hit her head on the door frames. You always did that to… Peter."

"Well, fuck Peter Pettigrew! But I guess you're right. Man power then," Sirius said, and entered the room, gently taking Gwen in his arms. They didn't even discuss who should carry who, Sirius went to Gwen by instinct.

"I swear, I could put her in my room, just to make her frightened," Sirius whispered mischievously, grinned at Remus, who was still standing confused in the centre of the room, and left. He brought Gwen to her bed, and tuck her in. She looked so peaceful, even though she was now the one with liquor on her breath. The thought about sleeping next to her in his dog form again crossed his mind, but he moved a strain of her hair from her face, looked at her again, and left the room.

Remus still stood confused, but decided he should do something. He slowly, and silently got closer to the couch. Tonks had her mouth a bit open, and she breathed soundly, which made Remus smile. He took her into his arms, as gently as he could manage to do that. That was the first time he felt her closeness in that way. He walked slowly, almost on his tiptoes, struggling not to wake her up. She was so tired, and she looked so calm sleeping. She deserved a nice rest. He opened the door of her room with magic, not uttering a single word, with only slight hand movement. Tonks wiggled, getting her body even closer to him, curling in his arms. Remus stood frozen at her movement, and even stopped breathing.

"Is this a dream?" Tonks sleepy voice said, but she sounded like she was still asleep.

"No, but don't wake up, sleep now," he said softly, and his voice was as hoarse as ever, sounding so gentle, but manly.

"Pity. Because you really are dreamy, Remus," she muttered, and looked so peaceful again. Her body was limp, but it was curled up next to his chest.

Remus heart skipped a beat. This must've been some dream talking, or not real in general. Why would anyone think about him in that way anyway? And he was right, Tonks was still half-asleep. But the words she said weren't something she hasn't thought of before. Remus placed her in her bed gently, trying to make the less movement possible. The second the warmth of her body was removed from his, he felt disappointed. He felt like he could carry her anywhere. He tucked Tonks in, and left the room at once. In the second he laid in his bed, he decided. He will tell her everything. He is not dreamy, but she surely is. Dreamy.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got many messages about how you liked Gwen and Tonks bonding, so here it is :) Gwen would never say some of those things if not drunk! And Tonks really deserved to have a friend by her side, so here it is!
> 
> And we did some time jumping here!
> 
> In the next chapter...
> 
> How will Remus handle the talk with Tonks?
> 
> How will Tonks handle what she will hear?
> 
> Was Tonks aware of her words while Remus carried her?
> 
> And now really, what is up with Gwen and Snape?
> 
> New chapter is coming soon, so stay tuned! And don't forget to let me know what you think :3
> 
> xx


	15. Miscommunication

_12_ _th_ _of September 1995_

Gwen was just getting ready for bed when she heard three knocks interrupting the silence that filled her room. Remus was with Tonks on another stakeout, and Kreacher would never knock in almost midnight. So it must be Sirius.

"Come in," she invited him, sitting on her bed, looking at the door. The door opened, and Sirius' head peeked cautiously, and then darting to enter her room and close the door. Sirius was shirtless, in a pair of training trousers, his long hair loose. He coughed, preparing himself to talk.

"I came to tell you something very important," he said boldly, as he was strutting through Gwen's room. Gwen just sat there, and looked at him waiting for an answer.

"I talked to Remus," Sirius said, wiggling his eyebrows. "And he told me the funniest thing."

"Is that so?" Gwen pouted, and raised one eyebrow in response.

"Yes, apparently so, my dear friend likes someone," Sirius now sat next to Gwen, looking at her devilishly, mouth stretched into a grin.

"Let me guess. Tonks? Who, apparently so, likes our dear friend Moony," Gwen finished his thoughts before Sirius even had a chance.

"How did you… Oh, you got drunk, and she told you! I knew you were up to something, Doherty," Sirius eyes narrowed.

"She didn't have to tell me. Every time I made a comment about Moony, she smirked, and her hair became more pink, along with the face," Gwen now smiled just out of the provocation. She was winning the bet.

"Well, he didn't tell me directly, either," Sirius said, still looking at Gwen suspiciously.

"So, Black, I win the bet," Gwen now pierced Sirius with her devilish look, and Sirius was stunned for a second.

"Yes, but how about we raise the stakes," he gathered himself again quickly, his eyes fixed on hers, even though he did notice the corner of her lip twitching.

"I'm listening."

"Well, let's see who'll admit it to themselves first, shall we?" Sirius grinned. At that moment, he felt like he was seventeen again. "And the winner gets whatever they want."

"What do you mean?" Gwen asked suspiciously.

"Well… Let's see who'll win first, and then we'll negotiate the terms," his voice was soft, but he was half whispering now. His eyes now roamed from the spot they were focused on, looking Gwen's face expression with a bit too much excitement.

"It's a bet," she raised her eyebrows for a second, giving him his hand in a sign of agreement.

"Pleasure placing bets with you," Sirius took her hand, and she shivered from the touch of his cold skin. And she was a bit too warm. Sirius stood up, flexed a bit, and headed for the exit.

"Just so you know, Sirius," Gwen said, still sitting on her bed. "I'll win this one too."

"I wouldn't be so sure if I was you," he grinned, winked at her, and left the room.

Gwen decided she will definitely have to talk with Tonks about this. Not because of the bet, but because if Remus really likes Tonks back, Sirius might scare him away. And that wouldn't be so good. However, the craziest idea crossed her mind… Maybe Remus will even make a first move. With Sirius persuasion skills… Sirius. What does he have in mind? Raising the stakes. Why is he so sure about this? She must be up next morning to get both Remus and Tonks while they'll be eating their breakfast. Yes. She just has to have them in a same place. And she'll figure it out right on the spot. Perfect plan? Not really, but it's something.

* * *

Tonks and Remus were on their stakeout position, sitting on the comfortable cushions. Tonks just finished talking about her day at work, as they shared another chocolate bar she brought. Her hair was dark green, short and pointy. Remus looked at her with amusement in his eyes. However, Remus was really tense because he wanted to talk to Tonks, but didn't know how to start a conversation that would lead to him talking about his lycanthropy. Tonks noticed something is occupying his thoughts.

"So, what's on your mind, Remus?" she said, while she licked her fingers which were covered with traces of melted chocolate. "You're awfully quiet. Has something happened during… your time of the month?" Tonks asked the most obvious question so naively, not knowing how much was Remus hoping she'll mention his lycanthropy. And she wanted to see if he would accept the joke, or is it something serious.

"Well… Hm…" Remus was usually more cool, relaxed, and suave talking. He was surprised how confused he was all of a sudden. "Nothing happened, that's for sure. It feels easier, you know… After 31 years, being aware of what's really going on... It's easier."

"I'm sorry, you said 31… Wow…" Tonks knew he was a werewolf since he was a child, and that he was bitten before Hogwarts. But apart from that, everything else about Remus' early life was a mystery. He mostly talked about his times in Hogwarts, never before it. "So you were four when you…"

"When I got bitten, yes," Remus answered quickly, not wanting to hear Tonks saying those words. For some reason, he again felt ashamed. And he didn't feel like that usually with her. "Almost five."

"Oh…" Tonks didn't know what to say. She was interested in what happened to him, but she noticed how uncomfortable he was. Like he didn't know how to express himself, and he usually had his way with words. "Do you want to talk about it? I mean, we don't have to if you don't want to." Tonks chose to be straight forward. It was something her mother always said to do, just say it straight to someone's face. No hesitation. And it proved to be useful in her Auror training, so she figured it really is the best way.

"No, we can talk about it if you're… Interested," he gave her a small smile, and he noticed her hair getting a bit brighter. He wasn't sure what that meant, but he was sure about how pretty her eyes were, now having a special spark.

"I'm all ears," she returned him a smile, and curled up, crossing her legs.

"Well, as I said, I was almost five years old. The werewolf named Greyback didn't like what my father said about the werewolves, so he decided to teach him a lesson. And… Lesson learned," he sighed loudly, and looked in front of himself. Tonks was heartbroken when she heard his words, and she knew that was only the beginning. " _Act cool, let him talk, don't say a word… Don't say something stupid_ ," Tonks thought, biting her lip. Remus didn't notice that. He was too focused on not looking at her to notice anything.

"It was at Greyback's trial. My father said, and I quote, that werewolves are 'soulless, evil, deserving nothing but death' in anger, and Greyback… Well, he didn't like it, so he did what he did in revenge. And of course, nothing was ever the same. My mother, a Muggle, was a teacher, but she quit her job to stay at home with me. Sometimes she would tutor children from a village we would live at the time. We moved a lot, you see…" Remus' ran his hand through his hair, and gave up, now looking at Tonks. She had so many questions in her head at that moment, but she remained calm. She gave Remus a weak smile, and he moved his look instantly. "I don't blame him. My father. He said what he said, and I know that he doesn't think about me like that."

"So, where is he now?" Tonks asked quietly.

"Oh, he's retired, and living near Battersby. You know where that is?" He asked her, not really sure why. He shook her head, confirming she doesn't know. "It's near Middlesbrough. That's the last place we moved before I got accepted at Hogwarts. You know, my parents thought I'll never get in. And I never even dreamed about it."

"But there you are," Tonks said, with a bit bigger smile on her face. Remus noticed that, and smiled back.

"Yes, indeed I am. You see, I don't really have much to say about my life before I met James, Sirius and Peter because there really isn't much to talk about. I mostly spent time with my mother at home. I was never allowed to play with neighbourhood children. I completely understand why, of course," Remus sighed.

"I really don't understand why. You're… normal," Tonks shrugged her shoulders, saying exactly what was on her mind. He is normal. She really couldn't get why he thinks so badly about himself. She would mostly even forget he's a werewolf at all.

"But I'm not, Ny… Tonks," he corrected himself quickly. "I'm not normal. Don't be afraid to say that because it is true. It isn't that hard. I am a monster."

"No, you're not," Tonks just spoke her thoughts, not really sure where this conversation is going. "And I've heard about Greyback. We had to research his file for homework. You know, Scrimgeour is a real prick. Anyway, he is a monster, but you're not."

"But we are the same. I don't get your logic," Remus sad cooly, and Tonks felt a bit frustrated. She didn't like him being so self-deprecating. And she thought that by now he figured she doesn't think badly of him.

"You're not the same. You're not even similar. You just have a… furry little problem," Tonks burst into laughter, and Remus watched her for a second when he joined her. She reminded him of James in that moment. She was so cool with hearing about what happened, that he almost didn't believe it.

"Well… I think what happened torn my family in some way. My mother became tired, worried… She rarely smiled, and she always cried the whole day before the full moon, thinking I didn't notice. My father tried everything to help me, but he only grew bitter and resentful to himself. I appreciate that he tried, but you can't undo this. No one can. I'm grateful to my parents, don't get me wrong. They wanted the best for me…"

Tonks looked at Remus, chewing the hem of her sleeve, focusing on his story, and on staying calm, and silent. Remus was finally taking, and she enjoyed hearing his voice so clear, and hoarse. The more she heard, the more she respected him as a person. He talked about his first transformations, and how his father would go with him, afraid he would hurt his mother. That was breaking Remus' heart, but then, and now, he understood his father. He talked about how his father rarely used magic in front of him, trying not to get Remus' hopes up that he'll ever go to Hogwarts. He talked about how he looked at children playing on the streets, running freely, laughing… And how he thought he'll never have that. Tonks listened Remus talking about his earlier childhood hypnotized. And that wasn't really vigilant of her, was it?

"I guess the night Dumbledore came to our house was the night my father got the chance to feel at least a bit better. He always tried to help me as much as he could with school, magic, supplies. You know he attacked Dumbledore on that night?" Remus said with a half smile on his face, now focusing on Tonks who was still curled up, and chewing the hem of her sleeve. But when she noticed his smirk, she laughed. That meant it's okay to laugh, and she finally felt comfortable to do it without offending Remus.

"He did what? How? And why?" Tonks asked, now shifting in another position. She was now completely turned towards Remus. If something happened outside of that bloody house they've been staring for more than a month now, she wouldn't even notice.

"He tried to stun Dumbledore. He even hit him with one good stun charm, but Dumbledore overpowered him in a second. And my mother, well… She couldn't deal with magic. She sent me to run to my room, and hide. I guess they thought he'll take me away to some werewolf camp, or something. Funny how they tried to protect me from a man who gave me so much. You know, he asked to talk to me privately. I'll never forget it," Remus head tilted, and fell a bit. Tonks followed every word he said, and couldn't even imagine how did he felt in those moments. She thought about a lonely boy of eleven, scared he'll be taken away from his parents, scared of what is happening to him, convinced he'll never become anyone or anything in his life. But she didn't pity him, or anything like that. Tonks now understood perfectly why he was so secretive of his life before Hogwarts. He was so lonely, sad, and scared. And he didn't deserve to feel any of that. Remus just sighed soundly again.

"I told him I know I can't attend Hogwarts, and that I understand why. You see, by that time, I knew exactly what was happening to me, and what I am…"

"Who you are," Tonks blurted. She couldn't stand him talking about himself like he was a thing. Soulless. He was surprised by how quiet, and calm she was. He told her all that, and she corrects him about something that trivial? "Sorry, go on."

"Right... Um… Right. When I told him that, he told me that he knows about my situation, and that he sees no problem with me attending Hogwarts. The only thing he asked me was to be cautious. He didn't even ask me to keep it a secret. I didn't notice that until he asked me to teach, really. Because he didn't ask me to keep it a secret even then. Once he visited me in the hospital wing, and saw James, Sirius, and Peter waiting to see me. He asked me if they know. I lied, but I know he read right through me. I think that Dumbledore is the only living person who can always tell if I lie, actually," Remus said, and started to fidget his wand through his fingers. "James. He always knew. Sirius is oblivious when it comes to that. At least he was. And Peter… Well…"

"Go on with the story! I heard enough of the Marauders shenanigans already, I want to hear the Remus-Lupin-before-Moony story," she nudged him a bit with her fist, smiling. He looked at her, and suddenly felt a wave of warmness. Like he was in a warm bed, covered with the softest, and warmest blankets. And when he thought of that, he instantly thought about her being in bed with him, in his arms. That wasn't the thought he ever expected to have. Not about her, anyway. Not because she was missing, or lacking something. Quite the opposite. He thought of her as she's some kind of an unattainable dream. Someone he couldn't even dream having. And yet, she slipped into his thoughts regularly. Even in the most ridiculous situations, like when he was making tea. He always thought about her fruity teas, and hatred towards his herbal ones. She was a mystery to him, because he didn't understand what was happening to him, and his mind. And she wanted to hear about his childhood. Not his Marauder story, what he thought it would be most interesting to her.

"Alright, alright… Where have I… Oh, yes. Well, he explained how he already had the professors plant the Whomping Willow, make a tunnel to the Shrieking Shack, and build it from scratch. He encouraged the rumours about the house being haunted, because that would mean no one would dare to enter. That is one of the nights I haven't felt asleep not even for a second. I was so excited, and my father was too. He hugged me like never before when Dumbledore left. My mother wasn't so excited because she was afraid for me. And I can't blame her, but later I figured it was the best thing that could happen. You see, when Dumbledore explained her that I will have everything I need provided, and that I only need to ask if there is anything I need. She gave me a good lecture about not being humble, and scared to ask," Remus smiled softly at the memory of his late mother, he saw Tonks smiling shyly. She was so relieved that he was smiling. "Neither my mum or dad thought that I would be given the chance to live a normal life. Well, at least try to live a normal life."

Remus stopped fidgeting his wand, and now looked at it.

"You know, I would never trade this wand for anything," he pointed it at her, but not in a hostile way. It took a few seconds for Tonks to understand he is actually handing it over to her. She took it, and looked at it carefully. It was a beautiful wand, indeed. Subtle with details, cypress. It felt so light. "That wand was always something I saw as a… honour. I was honoured to carry it, and to call it mine. And I until the day I die, I guess."

Tonks handed Remus his wand back, and he started to fidget it through his fingers again. She stared for a second too long at his hands, and gathered her focus again, now looking at him.

"First year was the hardest… The first transformation alone, no one knew. And I had to lie to James, Sirius, and Peter about going away for a few days. As I said, James always recognized when I lied to him. They never admitted it, but I'm sure he was the one who figured first that something is wrong with me vanishing every month. But I was then too scared to tell the truth out loud. Now I have no problem with it. I'm a werewolf, have been for most of my life, and will be until the day I die. It's a fact, and now I see no point in keeping anyone in the dark," Remus sighed, thinking about how Tonks must've been so scared, or disappointed now when she heard all of this. This story was basically the proof he isn't a safe person. Because he wasn't a person in his mind. He saw Tonks' eyes filling with sadness, and instantly thought that she pitied him. But truth was far opposite from that. Tonks was trying to control herself from not hugging him hard. She didn't pity him, she understood him a lot better now.

"I thought that they would instantly ask for me to be kicked out of their room, or even from Hogwarts. And I figured how powerful, and esteemed were the Blacks. Don't ever tell this to Sirius, but I was afraid of him," Remus chuckled. "Until I figured he shares none of the Black family views, anyway. Right before Christmas of our second year, they confronted me. Actually, they cornered me, and refused to let me go without a logical explanation. When James asked me if his assumption about me being a werewolf was true, I was… terrified. Believe me, in those seconds, I already said goodbye to my friends, and life at Hogwarts. My kind is not…"

"Will you stop it, Remus?" Tonks blurted, but didn't regret a thing. "The story is top notch, but you speaking so wrongly about yourself, and speaking about yourself like we're not the same really annoys me."

Remus now looked straight at Tonks, whose hair was turning red. His eyes fluttered, but widened, as he looked at her. That meant she really was annoyed. He couldn't get why. He was only telling the truth.

"I'm… Please change your hair, it's too red," Remus said with a pleading voice. She didn't even notice her hair changed. She gasped, shook her head and turned her hair back to dark green.

"Here, now tell me the story without doing that," she made some funny hand movements, "stupid differentiation. I consider you as my equal." She smiled widely at him now, and Remus was now even more shocked than before. And he felt the urge to hug her. To hold her so tight in his arms. Like she was a plush teddy bear, and he was a small boy again.

"Alright, sorry," he said quietly.

"Don't apologise to me, you should apologise to yourself. But go on," Tonks said, again curling up.

"How to put this in a way that won't get you mad? Hm," Remus thought at loud. "Well, I was not supposed to have friends. Nothing like that. That's why I told you I'm quite sure about myself never having children. I'm not supposed to have them. It's not a part of the deal, you see?"

Tonks frowned again, but let him talk this time. Only one thought kept lingering in her mind; why would he think about himself like that? He is gentle, caring, funny… The only thing wrong with him was his low self-esteem. Every girl would be happy to have a boyfriend… A husband so well-mannered, pure, and interesting. At least she would. She thought about the slip her drunk self made just the other day. When she woke up she remembered exactly how he got to her bed from the library, and how she told Remus he's dreamy.

"It's alright because I made my peace with that fact. Anyway, when I told them the truth, all of them were stunned, but not scared. Sirius wanted to come with me during my next transformation that instant. I would never agree to that. It was before Wolfsbane, and them becoming Animagi. Oh, when I heard that idea… I can't say I wasn't amused, and flattered in a way. Having them as friends was like a prize for being alone before."

Tonks couldn't help herself anymore. She jumped, and wrapped her arms around Remus' neck, almost knocking him down. He was surprised by her sudden emotion outburst, but he sighed, and hugged her back. When he wrapped his arms around her thin waist, he realised how skinny she was, and how he could really wrap her in his arms. Like really wrap her up. And in that moment he realised that Sirius was indeed right. He likes her in every non-friendly way imaginable. When he breathed her scent, smelling like fruit, and warm summer air, he felt the sensation flowing through his body he never, ever felt before. Something that was so strange to feel, and yet the feeling had been so intense. He never felt like that in his life. And then he remembered what Sirius said. In the next moment he admitted to himself; he really was desperately in love. In love with Nymphadora Tonks. A younger, quirky, brilliant Auror, who would never see him in that way. Tonks broke the hug, but she was still quiet.

"I'm sorry… I felt… I'm sorry, I know you're comfortable with people touching you, and I… sorry," she mumbled, and couldn't get her thoughts straight. She didn't even notice how stunned he was by the hug. She stared at her sleeves, but Remus stared right at her. The feeling she just produced in him was still flowing through his body. And all he wanted to do is hug her again, feel her arms around his neck, her body pressed to his. He didn't even mind that she touched his bite mark on his left shoulder. And he always flinched even at the slight pressure on that place. He realised he should say something, so he gathered his thoughts as quickly as he could.

"No, it's alright. Don't apologise for hugging me anymore, please," he asked, trying to keep his voice calm. She lifted her head, and her cheeks were rosy, as her hair instantly changed to his favourite shade of pink. His heart skipped a beat when he saw her eyes sparkling. Because he mistankely thought he is seeing the sad truth in them; she pitied him now. She felt so sorry for him. Of course she did. However, he was so oblivious. The truth was quite opposite. Tonks' eyes sparkled out of happiness. Because she was happy that he finally talked like that to her.

"Right, no more apologies. And I think you should stop with the story here," she said, even though she was quite interested in the rest of the story he obviously wanted to share. But she figured he'll become too uncomfortable with her, and the way he now stared at her proved her thoughts. Or at least, that's what she thought.

"Oh… Alright," Remus muttered, and was on a wrong trail too. He thought that Tonks didn't want to hear more of his sad, pathetic story. Maybe she was repulsed by him now. For a second, he was happy that Snape's the one in charge for the pairings, because he was sure she would never come to Snape, asking him for a favour. But then again, if she'll feel uncomfortable around him, that won't work. He doesn't want her to feel like that. He was a mess now, but he tried to play it cool.

"So, is it my turn to talk then?" Tonks asked, trying to cheer him up, maybe even make him laugh. She will definitely talk about the time she, Charlie and Bill stole Snape's Felix Felicis from his cabinet. And how they never got caught.

"Sure," Remus said, now completely focused on her. As she talked, he felt his heart breaking. Because she couldn't even hear his story until the end. Because he felt like she changed what she thought of him completely now. She knew he was a werewolf, but he always felt like she doesn't really understand what that meant. And now when she does, she wants nothing to do with him. And that's the night Remus' heart put Tonks above all of the things he craved, but thought he would never have.

* * *

The following morning Tonks and Remus did their usual breakfast with Gwen. Remus seemed quiet, and distracted, not lifting his look from his plate. Tonks was in a good mood, and she and Gwen chatted brightly. Remus was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't even know what were they talking about. He stood up without even finishing his meal, excused himself, and locked himself into his room. Both Tonks, and Gwen were surprised by his behaviour, but didn't say a thing.

"So… Tonks, I think I'll need your help again," Gwen said, taking a sip of her morning coffee.

"Sure, what is it?" Tonks was a bit worried about Remus' sudden mood swing, but she figured it's because he thought he said too much. And she was glad that she switched the topic, before it became unbearable.

"I think I'll need to leave the house to do some errands. And I thought if you could accompany me. I don't want to get Dumbledore angry, even though I'm not forbidden to leave."

"Oh… Alright, you have my work schedule, so just pick a day, and tell me to be here," Tonks said with a smile, but she sighed sadly after it.

"What is it?" Gwen asked, now thinking that Remus brooding wasn't just the usual him. Tonks lowered her look, but decided not to say anything. She wasn't sure Gwen knew that much about Remus, and she didn't want to betray his trust. If he's telling her his story, that means he does trust her.

"Nothing, just tired. But this coffee… Heaven sent," Tonks chugged the coffee from her mug, and figured it's her time to go. "I must go now, shift starting. And I have to talk to Kingsley, it's time we find out what's with him and Hestia. I'll just change here, and I'll be on my way."

"Oh, right…" Gwen sighed, disappointed. She wanted to talk some more with Tonks. She missed company, even though Sirius has been always somewhere there. But after Harry's letter, and the night of the full moon, even he was distanced, and spent most of the time with Buckbeak. Tonks headed to her room, as she called it, to change. She picked orange jumper, and dark jeans, and now morphed her hair short, and platinum blonde. She didn't hear Remus snoring, or basically any sound from his room. The idea of knocking on his door, and asking is everything alright passed her mind, but she decided not to do it. He was probably asleep, and she'll only wake him up. Tonks now stood in the hallway, looked in the direction of Remus' door, and sighed loudly. She said goodbye to Gwen right before leaving, as she put on her Auror robes.

* * *

Tonks entered the Auror Office ten minutes early, but Kingsley was already there. The hall with the cubicles were almost empty, actually. Kingsley, Dawlish, and Williamson were only ones there, and Dawlish and Williamson were just leaving. They greeted her briefly, and Tonks couldn't be happier that she'll finally have some time to talk to Kingsley alone. She marched to his desk, and sat on the chair in his cubicle without greeting, or saying anything. Kingsley looked at her suspiciously.

"Good morning, Tonks," he said flatly. "It's what people usually say, you know?"

"Wotcher, Kingsley," she said, and stuffed her hands under her thighs. "Everything alright?"

"Yes, but I guess I should ask you the same question. You're acting weird," Kingsley's eyebrow rose, and he looked at her waiting the answer.

"Well, I've been wanting to ask you something," Tonks tried to remain calm, but she was really bad at being subtle.

"I'm waiting," Kingsley said, crossing his arms.

"Well, I've noticed you and Hestia got closer. Are you two, like, a thing?"

As soon as he heard that question, Kingsley burst into laughter. Tonks felt ashamed, but still she wanted the answer. The real answer, not him laughing like that.

"Tonks, I thought you noticed that we're partners. It's like I ask you if you and Lupin were a thing," Kingsley said, but his voice tilted a bit.

"A-ha! Now I know you're lying. You see, Moody told me that when your voice tilts like that, that you're most likely not telling the whole story, or the truth at all," Tonks jumped a bit, not paying attention to Kingsley's comment about Remus. Sure, their friendship grew, but they weren't a thing. Or anything.

"Well…" Kingsley put his arms down. "Why are you all of a sudden so interested in my personal life?"

"I'm always interested in your personal life!" Tonks said in her defence, smiling.

"Right," Kingsley said, pouted a bit, and smiled at her.

"So you are a thing?"

"No, we're not. But Hestia is one really interesting woman, I must admit that," Kingsley said cooly, ignoring Tonks eyes widening, and a smile that was now on her face. Gwen was right, apparently.

"Noted," Tonks said devilishly, and stood up.

"Oh, Tonks, this just came in," Kingsley said, and handed her a rolled piece of parchment. Tonks unwraped it, and saw the Scrimgeour new idea. They are going to the Manchester, Glasgow, and Bradford for a week. A tour of raids. That meant she won't make it to the stakeouts. She felt sad a bit when she figured that means she won't be talking to Remus this week. Maybe he'll change his mind about telling her his story by then. She sighed sadly, and looked at Kingsley.

"I'll notify them, since I'll be visiting the House anyway," Kingsley said resolutely. "I advise you to go to home, and get your things because everybody are already on their way to a meeting point in Manchester."

Kingsley stood up, and Tonks nodded. Not really how she wanted to spare next seven days, and this weekend. But it was what she had to do, and to be honest, she missed some actions. Raids they did in London were usually small raids. And if they're going to other cities, that meant the raids were bigger, and therefore more exciting.

"Good, I'll be heading there then, and I'll pick you up at your place. Wait for me there," Kingsley ordered, and Tonks nodded again. She was now sad that she didn't knock on Remus door only half an hour before this. And the thought of him thinking she's avoiding him slowly slipped into her mind. But she couldn't do anything about that now. She followed Kingsley to the Auror Office apparition point. She, as a junior Auror, wasn't allowed to use it, but Kingsley often gave her a free pass. In a second, she was in her apartment, packing her bag for a week ahead of her.

* * *

Kingsley entered the Grimmauld place, and found Gwen doing the dishes from the breakfast.

"Good morning, Gwen," he said quietly, expecting Sirius and Remus to be asleep, and it was way to early for Walburga's manic episodes.

"Oh, hi, Kingsley," she greeted him with a smile, turned off the water, and dried her hands magically. "What are you doing here? I don't remember you were supposed to come. Is everything alright?"

"Yes, yes, everything is alright. I just came by to bring you these," he waved with the reports, and put them on the table. "And to inform you that Tonks and I are going to an Auror operation. We won't be available for a week. Since we're forbidden to contact anyone during this kind of operations, Tonks sends her best, too."

"Oh, she was just here… Alright, then Remus and Hestia will work together for a week. I guess Sev won't mind." Gwen didn't even notice that she slipped the Sev in front of someone who didn't know they were friends. Gwen liked Kingsley, and they oftenly joked they must protect Ravenclaw pride together with Emmeline. But they weren't friends, and she knew Snape doesn't consider him as a friend either. Kingsley frowned a bit when he heard her calling Snape like that, but decided not to ask. It's not his business, anyway.

"Yes, I though you can give those reports to Snape. When I met him and Dumbledore, he said he'll stop by on Friday." Kingsley remained cool, and when Gwen heard him calling Snape by his last name, she became aware of her slip.

"Sure, no problem," she smiled. "You hungry? I can pack you something on the go."

"No, but I really would appreciate some coffee in one of those thermos things. Those Muggles really learned how to make their own magic," Kingsley commented with a smiled. He often did tasks that included Muggles, and he learned to blend in with them to be almost unnoticable. And that was something not many wizards could do.

"Of course. Tonks left five of those here, so I'll give you one for her too," Gwen rushed to get the thermos ready, and Kingsley noticed how the house was really clean now. He, as everybody else, knew it had nothing to do with the house owner. Gwen handed Kingsley two thermos, and walked him out, wishing him good luck. She immediately went to the drawing room, where she and Sirius usually did schedule planning to make the changes. She was still curious about what happened tonight, but figured she won't find out that soon. On the other hand, now she can ask Remus to escort her, and maybe talk to him outside of this house, without Sirius behind the corner.

Gwen asked Remus to accompany her when she told the news to him and Sirius over dinner. Sirius looked like he doesn't really care, since Gwen already did all of their job anyway. Remus, however, now looked even more worried than he did in the morning. The fact that Kingsley came here to tell them, and that Tonks didn't mention anything led him to a conclusion that he really did scare her. He already saw this temporary change of partner as something permanent, and his head became heavier with thoughts about Tonks avoiding him. Both Gwen, and Sirius noticed his mood changing, and his look becoming emptier as the conversation went on. Remus, again, excused himself, and was now closed in the library.

"What happened yesterday?" Sirius asked Gwen, worried about Remus.

"I don't know, but he seemed distant since they got here in the morning. And she felt… off," Gwen's eyes were narrowing, as she and Sirius shared a glass of firewhiskey.

"I should talk to him, obviously," Sirius said, and stood up. "And I really hoped to finish that bottle with you tonight."

Gwen frowned at him, rolled her eyes, and shrugged.

"Less drinking, Sirius, and I mean it," her voice was firm. "And, I'll be in my room. Reading."

"Ahh… You're so boring sometimes," Sirius winked at her, and left the room. He reached the library, and opened the door without knocking. He was in his house after all. He found Remus in an armchair, reading, of course. Sirius closed the door quietly, and sat on the couch, looking at Remus who ignored him completely.

"Moony, are you alright?"

"Yes," Remus lied, not even lifting his look even for a bit.

"Moony," Sirius now sounded concerned, but Remus really didn't want to talk to him now.

"I'm fine, Padfoot. Haven't slept well," Remus still didn't look at Sirius. He didn't want to talk about what happened. How he disappointed Tonks, and how he was right about him. He is in love with her, but he was wrong about her. She obviously didn't like him in that way. Even if she did, that's over now. He isn't supposed to have a girlfriend anyway, so why bother? Sirius sighed soundly.

"Look… I see that you're lying, but let it be. If you want to talk I'm here," Sirius knew that you can't really pry Remus to talk if he really doesn't want to. So there is no point in pressuring him. "But whatever happened, I really don't think that you brooding alone will help you. I may be the king of rashness, but you're the master of jumping to wrong conclusions, so maybe another set of eyes on the situation would help you."

Sirius stood up now, expecting Remus to say something, but Remus stayed quiet.

"Very well," Sirius said, and left the library, leaving Remus alone with his self-deprecating thoughts. Remus knew Sirius was right in one, there is no point in brooding alone. But now that was all he wanted, to be left alone. He didn't sleep that night. In fact, Remus spent the whole night reading. Burying himself in books, as he did many times before. His coping mechanism. Isolation, and books.

* * *

 _17_ _th_ _of September 1995_

Kingsley took Tonks as her second for the raid in Glasgow. It was the first time for Tonks to be the second in a mission this big, so she was quite serious about it, and proud of herself. Their Auror group included both Dawlish and Williamson, Proudfoot, Savage, Mary and Audrey. Dawlish wasn't pleased with Tonks being the second, since he thought he'll be one, but Kingsley didn't even let him complain. The others were approving of Tonks, especially Mary, and Audrey.

The next raid took place in one of the Death Eaters houses. The owner was in Azkaban, but some of the neighbourhood magic residents reported strange activities happening there. Since the Death Eaters were always interesting for the Aurors, they had to check it out. The house was huge, and Kingsley paired them all up, and they split. Tonks was paired with Kingsley, and they sneaked into the second floor of the mansion. Tonks decided to wear sneakers instead of her clunky boots, because these were high risk missions, and she can't afford to trip over something. She is clumsy enough as it is, there is no need for playing with chances.

"Kings…"

"Shhh…" Kingsley put his finger on his mouth, pointing his head into now closed room. He tapped his ear with his finger, which meant he heard someone there. Tonks nodded, and they were both now pressed against the wall, each on different sides of the door. Kingsley counted to three with his fingers, and he casted a spell on the door. It opened immediately, and they heard three different voices asking the same question.

"Who's there?"

Kingsley nodded to Tonks, gesturing her to cover him. He jumped, and cast a strong stun charm, trying to subdue all of them at once. However, all of them cast strong protective spells, so Kingsley's stun rebounded, and Tonks' protective charm protected both of them. She immediately switched to attacking.

" _Stupefy_!" she yelled, as Kingsley managed to successfully harm, and overpower one of the three. Her stunner hit the opponent in the arm, so his wand flew across the room. She was focused on the wall when Kingsley's deep voice distracted her.

" _Brachiabindo_!" his spell bound the wizard without a wand in a second. But, while he did that, the only man standing cast a spell that hit Kingsley in the shoulder.

" _Depulso!_ " Tonks yelled, and hit the caster straight in the chest. He was surely unconscious now. " _Incarcerous!_ " Tonks cast a spell to both unconscious wizards, and jumped to Kingsley's side.

"You alright?" she asked, helping him to stand up.

"Fix my shoulder, will you? I think the bastard broke it," Kingsley said, taking his hand off his shoulder. Tonks nodded. One of the steps in Auror training was studying healing charms. She wasn't perfect doing them, but Moody forced her to practice, and practice all the time. She waved her wand, and blue stream of light flew to Kingsley's shoulder. He moved it, and smiled.

"Much better," he lifted the arm to high five Tonks. She did that a bit less enthusiastic than usual, worried it'll hurt Kingsley. "Let's get Dawlish to clean this mess up. I like pissing him off, just because he questions my authority."

"Wow, now I know never to do that," Tonks said sarcastically, since she knew that authority is something Kingsley really values. Everybody knew that. Well, except Dawlish, apparently.

"Come on, let's sweep this house," Kingsley said, leaving the room. Tonks followed happily, being content of her work here.

After they searched the mansion, and Dawlish and Williamson took the wizards to London for questioning, Auror group returned to the inn they were placed. It turned out that the three wizards were connected to the Death Eater who owned the house, and they planned on breaking into the Ministry to steal his wand. Which meant that they planned to get him out of Azkaban too. Kingsley was worried when the report of the questioning came in, but decided it'll have to wait until they got back to London. He had invited Tonks for a drink of gratitude for her help. Tonks knew that was Kingsley's way of a praise, so she gladly accepted. They were now in a pub, and she drank some cocktail, while Kingsley downed his second beer. Toasts were thrown like nothing; to Kingsley, to Tonks, to the Order…

"Um, you know what I noticed when I was at Grimmauld?" Kingsley asked Tonks with unusual relaxation in his voice.

"That old Walburga is more quiet since the Weasleys moved out?" Tonks laughed under breath.

"Yes, but I didn't mean that. I noticed that Gwen is the only person, well in the Order, that calls Snape by a nickname."

"What? She's not in the Order officially. And I never heard her using some special name for him. Sometimes she would call him Severus, or Sev, but…"

"Exactly!" Kingsley interrupted her. "Nobody calls Snape Severus except Dumbledore, and I've never heard anyone calling him Sev."

Tonks looked at Kingsley suspiciously. But then she figured he's right. Snape didn't have a nickname, if you don't count Snivellus. And she noticed them exchanging looks at the meetings.

"Where are you going with this, King?" Tonks downed her cocktail, and ordered another one.

"Well, they have some strange connection. I just noticed that they are rather close, considering we're talking about Snape."

"I know he was her mentor, or something like that. They worked on potions together, and she's really badass at those. But I don't see…"

Kingsley raised his eyebrows, waiting for Tonks to get his hint. And then she did.

"Oh…" Tonks suddenly remembered Gwen's drunk comment about her type being dark haired, dark eyed, and tall. What if Snape and Gwen are a thing? Like a thing, thing? Tonks jaw dropped. "You think… Oh…"

"I don't know, it was just rather interesting, I must admit," Kingsley clanked his third beer bottle to Tonks' new cocktail glass.

"I still… I don't…" Tonks was confused, but she must admit that Kingsley's theory has some good grounds. "You just gave me a lot to think about."

"Why? You like Snape?" Kingsley scoffed, and laughed heartily. Tonks made a grimace at his words.

"No, of course not. Are you interested in Gwen?" she counter attacked with a question. "Not in that way, no," Kingsley took a sip of his drink, looking like he has more to say. He looked indecisive.

"Spill it, Shacklebolt!"

"Well, the other day when you asked me about Hestia," Kingsley started his sentence, and waited Tonks to nod. "You weren't quite wrong with that. I mean… While she worked in the Ministry we went on a date. Or two. But when she left, she was mostly away, so it stopped. And I guess the age gap is frustrating her…"

"Really? Well I'll be damned..." Tonks muttered, almost spilling her cocktail, and the fact that Gwen was the one noticing them. "But you're not that much older than her!"

"Sixteen years, Tonks," Kingsley said, and sighed. "But us working together in the Order… I don't know, we got closer again."

"Well then, what are you waiting for? Ask her out!" Tonks cheered, and thought about how Gwen will react to this news.

"No, I don't think it's proper, and besides, with the war…"

"All I hear are excuses, and you're terrible with those," Tonks looked at Kingsley matter-of-factly.

"Well… I guess you are right. I'll think about it," Kingsley said giving up.

They finished their drinks, and called it a night. Tonks laid down on the rented bed, which was way too hard. Kingsley's room was next to hers, and she heard him snoring in seconds after they entered the rooms. She smiled, at the thought of fully-clothed Kingsley stretched over the bed, sound asleep. She took a shower, and slipped into her pyjamas. She wrapped herself in the comfy duvet, and thought about what Kingsley said. Everyone, apparently had someone they fancied. If Kingsley's right, even Snape has someone. And she's alone. Well, to be honest, she didn't have much time for dating, but never mind that, she would love to have someone in that way.

Tonks thought about Gwen's story about Felix, or how Sirius once or twice mentioned being in love with Marlene McKinnon, or how close Molly and Arthur were. And now the love was blossoming even in Kingsley's garden. The craziest thought of even Mad-Eye having someone in secret crossed her mind, and she felt like the biggest loser. She was, in the words of others, brilliant and fantastic, but she never found someone who wanted to be with her on long term, or someone who liked her simply because of her. While she thought about the relationships of the Order's members, she figured that she's not the only one alone since Remus was so determined he'll never find love. Tonks had to admit to herself that she was still feeling bad for not checking on Remus that morning. And she got the feeling that he was alone too, feeling just as lonely as she does. She grabbed her wand, and muttered the incantation silently.

" _Expecto Patronum."_

The silver jack rabbit appeared from her wand, wiggling his nose. Tonks whispered her message into the rabbit's ear, smiling lightly.

"Now find Remus, and get him my message," she said, and the rabbit happily jumped out of the window to find Remus Lupin

* * *

Remus was in his room, dressed in his pyjamas, but restless. He couldn't sleep well since Tonks left. He felt so tainted, not good enough, and his dreams were terrible. It wasn't the first time he felt like that, but it was the first time he missed someone in a way he now missed Tonks. He knew she'll be back on Wednesday, and that he's being dramatic, since he has no right to miss her in that way anyway. He was buried in his thoughts, laying on his bed, when a silver jack rabbit hopped through his window right next to him. He flinched, and straighten himself up immediately. Tonks' patronus. This can't be good. The rabbit wiggled its nose, and jumped around. When it finally calmed down, it spoke in Tonks' voice.

" _Kingsley snores louder than you. See you soon!_ "

The jack rabbit disappeared right after delivering the message, and Remus was frozen. He wasn't even sure if that really happened, but figured it really did since he could feel the warmth her patronus left behind it. And the scent of fruit, and summer air filled the room. Like she just left it. His heart started beating faster at once, and he felt happier than… well happier than he felt in a while now. He smiled at what she said, that Kingsley snores louder than him. Then a strange feeling flown through him. How does she know that? Is she sleeping with Kingsley? He felt his ears burning, and his body temperature rising. It was the feeling he had felt before, but they were never this intense. He was usually jealous of James' and Sirius' flying skills, or Sirius' being surrounded by all the pretty girls at Hogwarts. But not like this. He felt like he will explode.

As hard as it was to admit to himself, this was the final proof he needed to finally make his peace with his feelings. He was in love with her. And now he was jealous like a teenage boy, not behaving like a 35-years old werewolf. Not controlling the emotions that overwhelmed him. He jumped from his bed, and left the room. He has to talk to someone, and well, who else is there? He found Sirius in his room, listening to some '70s records quite loudly, but he obviously cast the silencing spell. Gwen was already asleep, so Sirius would never blast his music that loud without it.

"Padfoot, do you have a moment?"

"Oi, for you always, mate" Sirius jumped from his laying position to sit on the bed. "What's bothering you? I guessed you were asleep."

"Well… I can't really sleep these days," Remus finally admitted the truth that Sirius already knew. "Actually, I can't sleep since my last stakeout with Tonks."

"Oh, now we're talking. What happened?" Sirius said, wiggling his eyebrows. "Did you make a move on my baby cousin?"

Remus frowned. He disliked him calling her like that because it only reminded him of the fact she was 22, and he was 35.

"No, I didn't. But I told her some things, about before Hogwarts, you know," Remus sighed. "And I guess she changed her mind about me now."

"Why do you think so?" Sirius frowned hardly, and demanded answers.

"Well… She changed the subject right after I told her how you, James, and Peter…"

"Fuck Peter Pettigrew!" Sirius yelled. "Go on."

"Right… When I told her about that, she decided to close the topic. I guess forever," he lowered his look, and started to fidget his fingers.

"If you did that," he pointed at him. "No wonder she did that. You look like you'd rather kiss Kreacher than talk about this."

Remus looked at Sirius now, confused.

"What do you mean? I don't think…" Remus then thought about himself fidgeting the wand, trying not to look at her, and that hug. Oh, that hug.

"Oh, but you do! Now when I said it, I see that something is on your mind. Maybe she didn't want to force you to talk to her about that? I mean, you didn't even want to tell her that story before our little talk."

Sirius was right, but Remus was still not convinced.

"I don't know, but she's sent me a patronus tonight. Saying that Kingsley snores louder than me. What does that mean?"

Sirius started laughing when he heard Tonks message. He liked her sense of humour, and he found it obvious that she remembered Remus, so she's sent him a message. A message she didn't send to anyone else. Because Gwen is right, she does like him.

"You don't mean Kingsley and she…" Remus started the sentence, but Sirius interrupted him.

"No, I don't think so. I think he fancies Hestia, though. I tried to sweet talk her, just to see if I still have my charms, but she wouldn't budge. And he was looking at me like McGonagall when she was suspicious of us."

Remus felt at least one ton lighter than before. And when he heard Sirius' words, he realised how he really did jump into the worst conclusion there was. She is most likely sleeping in the room next to Kingsley's, not in the same room, or bed with Kingsley. He remained silent, but it only gave Sirius' more reasons to start talking.

"So, you're now jealous? You're still denying you fancy her?"

"I'm not…" Remus couldn't even finish the lie he started. "No, I don't deny it. I must admit you are right. But she doesn't like me like that. I'm sure of that."

"Right, and why is that? Because you jumped into a wrong conclusion just like this with Kingsley?" Sirius fluttered his eyes, feeling helpful for once. He couldn't really help the Order's work, but at least he could help his best friend.

"How did you figure it out?" Remus asked.

"Because you're brighter with her. I get she has that bright, and shiny energy surrounding her, but you've never smiled like that, mate. I was stuck in that horrible place for twelve years, and I see it. It's that obvious. And the subtle looks you were giving her during the meetings. Not so subtle. Or the chocolate bars you hide from me to eat with her."

"How do…"

"I know everything," Sirius said triumphantly, but that wasn't true. Gwen was the one who figured this one out. "And I'm glad you finally admitted this to yourself."

Sirius now remembered the bet he and Gwen had, and how this meant he won. He won, and she lost. The mischievous Padfoot woke up inside him, and grinned like crazy. But his face remained calm. They talked some more about Tonks, but Remus grew more uncomfortable to discuss the topic. However, when Sirius talked about all the things he noticed in his behaviour towards Tonks, he couldn't help himself but notice something. There were similarities in his behaviour with Sirius' behaviour towards Gwen. For instance, Sirius started helping with house chores, and Remus could swear he even saw Sirius making himself some food on his own. And he teased Gwen, his bark like laughter filling the house. Right before they went to bed, and before Remus opened the door of Sirius' room, he turned to look at his best friend.

"Just one more thing… What will you do about Gwen, hm?"

Remus didn't even wait for an answer, because he knew he won't get it. Because Sirius didn't even get what Remus' thought of. In the morning after, Sirius thought about those words while he and Gwen shared a breakfast. However, he still didn't get what Remus meant with them.

* * *

 _22_ _nd_ _of September 1995_

Tonks walked into the Ministry along with other Aurors from the unit. Kingsley praised them all, since they captured fifteen suspects, and found a few dark magic, now contraband items. However, their operation prolonged for two days. She was so tired, but more worried. Because she expected to get at least a one-word message from Remus, but he stayed silent. She even got to the right conclusion; that he misunderstood her. She thought she offended him in some way, and that he doesn't want to talk with her anymore. Or that she said something stupid, and now he thinks she's an idiot. Even though, she couldn't really tell what she actually said wrong.

Right after Kingsley sent them home, she went to the Grimmauld Place. It was already evening, 7 o'clock, and she really hoped that Remus will be there. When she entered the house, she noticed most of the lights downstairs were off, and that was odd. She didn't even notice the kitchen light, or that Sirius was preparing dinner today. Gwen caught some cold, so she decided to stay in bed for the whole day. Tonks went upstairs, but found all of the usually occupied rooms empty. She was now a bit scared, because she expected at least Sirius to be there all the time.

Gwen's room was the last one she checked, and was relieved when she found her friend laying in bed.

"Tonks! Come in, I'm so happy to see you!" Gwen greeted her.

"Wotcher, Gwen! I was afraid the aliens abducted all of you. Where are Sirius, and Remus?"

"Remus is on a stakeout with Emmeline, so if you want to see him you'll have to wait. And Sirius should be cooking, or at least trying to cook," Gwen smiled. "How are you? How did the mission go?"

Tonks moaned in discomfort, and jumped to Gwen's bed. But she didn't sit, she laid down next to Gwen, placing her head on her legs.

"I think I made a mistake, and now Remus hates me," she muttered.

"That's nonsense. What did you do?" Gwen said, and started to comfort Tonks, rubbing her shoulder.

"Well… We talked about some pretty… You know, personal things. And I guess he wanted to tell me the whole story, but he didn't seem so comfortable with it, so I changed the subject, and talked about some dumb things I did," Tonks said with a crying voice, but she wasn't crying. Gwen laughed under her breath.

"Yes, well that sounds like Moony. And I heard him walking to Sirius' room on Sunday I think, after a week of brooding alone."

"Sunday? I've sent him my patronus on Sunday. He never sent the answer, or anything, really. Oh, I fucked it all up…"

"Don't be so dramatic, just talk to him when you see him, and ask him what's going on. I doubt he'll lie straight to your face, so…"

Tonks let out a small whine.

"I fucked it up. Stupid, stupid, stupid," Tonks repeated, and Gwen slapped her lightly on her forearm.

"Don't be like that! And besides, why are you so upset?" Gwen found a chance to slip in her theory in a conversation.

"I don't know… I don't want him to think I'm some prejudiced idiot, or something like that," Tonks sighed loudly.

"Tonks… May I ask you something?"

"Sure, what?"

"Are you sure your type is not older, bookwormish, professor type werewolf living in this house?"

Tonks took her head off Gwen's lap, and now was looking at her. She had to admit Remus was attractive to her. Not just by his looks, but by his modesty, funniness, and the spark in his eyes. And his hands. His sense of humour. His warmth. But she didn't get the chance to answer to Gwen's question since Sirius barged into the room.

"Gwen, quick… Oh, Tonksie! I didn't notice you coming in," he frowned. "Oh, two girls in one bed. I like what I'm seeing."

Both Gwen and Tonks rolled their eyes, but Gwen was now uncovering herself. She was in a maxi length silk nightgown, since she spent all day in bed. It wasn't see-through, or lacy, but it complimented her body nicely.

"Sirius, what happened?" She asked.

"Right, old Minnie is here. It's about Snape."

Gwen's eyes widened. She grabbed the robe she usually wore around the house when she was cold, the one that resembled Snape's robe. She ran downstairs bare feet, with both Tonks and Sirius following her. She found Minerva McGonagall in the dining room.

"Oh, here you are, Miss Doherty…" but McGonagall didn't manage to finish her sentence.

"What happened to him? Where is he?" Gwen's voice was a bit too high, and loud. But she was frantic. What if the Death Eaters found out? What if his cover was blown? What if Voldemort…

"Severus was attacked. He's resting in his quarters in Hogwarts…" Another sentence Gwen didn't listen thoroughly was said, as she darted to exit the house. She summoned her wand, and Sirius stood in front of the door.

"Gwen… Are you…"

"Sirius, move, or I swear to everything holy I'll hex you into another dimension," Gwen's wand was in her hands now, and she didn't care that she was in her nightdress, and how treathening this may sound. She summoned her boots, similar to Tonks' only higher, and less clunky. McGonagall, and Tonks stood behind her.

"I'll accompany her," McGonagall said. Dumbledore warned her that if she's going to tell Gwen what happened that she'll most likely want to come to Hogwarts. And if she does, that McGonagall should get her there safely. "Miss Tonks, you should get some sleep, you look really tired. And mister Black, I think your curry's burning."

Sirius instantly smelled the burning curry he left on the stove, but didn't care. He looked at Gwen, and muttered.

"Please, take care of yourself."

Gwen nodded, and she and McGonagall left the house. They apparated to the top of the Astronomy tower, since Dumbledore decided to lift the charm for McGonnagal only.

"Thank you, professor," Gwen said, and smiled to her former transfiguration professor.

"Miss Doherty, I advise you to stay away from professor Umbridge. I presume you know about her," the older witch said, and Gwen nodded.

She then started running down the tower, heading to the dungeons where Snape's quarters were. Her hair was losoe, and it flew behind her, just like her half-opened robes. Some of the students saw her running, but she didn't care about their comment, or what they'll think. She just wanted to get to Snape as soon as possible. She passed the entrance to the Slytherin common room, which was close to the entrance of Snape's quarters. While she did that, she was noticed by Draco Malfoy, and his cronies, who laughed, and probably thought that Snape has a booty call, or some one-on-one tutoring. Gwen didn't care, she entered Snape's office, which was the first room to enter. He wasn't there, but she noticed the light coming from his room. She ran to enter the door of the room, and as soon as she did, her heart felt at peace. Because she found Snape standing there, cursing under his breath, while he took off the bandages from his torso. Of course he took some potions not to feel any of the wounds present. He turned to face her, and was surprised to see her now relieved face. He was, after all, here for only 20 minutes.

"Oh my… Sev, you're alright," Gwen flew across the room, and smashed her body to Snape's, hugging him tightly.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this is the longest one, but I couldn't help myself!
> 
> Some really interesting things are about to happen in the Grimmauld Place, and to its residents ;)
> 
> Stay tuned, and don't forget to let me know what you think! Ask, review, comment... My tumblr, moonyinchaos, is always open :)


	16. A Piece of Advice

_22_ _nd_ _of September 1995_

Gwen stood in front of Snape, cupping his frowned face with her palms. He removed her hands from himself with a gentle move, looking her straight in the eyes.

"I should've guessed you'd come here," he scoffed at her coldly.

"Of course I came, what's wrong with you? I don't see anything on your head, so stop talking nonsense, and tell me what happened," Gwen said resolutely. Snape moved away, and put his shirt back on.

"I was in London to attend a meeting. But when Lucius, and I came there, we got attacked," he said grudgingly, stretching his arm. A quiet gasp left his mouth in a sign of discomfort. "And the funniest thing, I think they were one of them. The Death Eaters."

"Why would they attack you? I don't get this," Gwen stepped closer to Snape, who was still stretching his arm.

"I don't know, but knowing Lucius, he has already informed the Dark Lord about that," Snape scoffed, and frowned because he still felt pain when he moved his arm.

"Can I help you somehow?" Gwen asked, noticing the signs of pain on his face.

"No. Oh, and one more thing. They know we know each other. Lucius, and Narcissa couldn't deny it when they were asked," Snape sighed, looking annoyed. "That's why you shouldn't come here tonight. Did perhaps that little brat Malfoy saw you?"

"Yes, but he knows he must keep his mouth shut when it comes to me, so don't worry about him," Gwen sighed, and Snape scoffed again.

"You're really naïve, and rash. I guess it's the effect of Black."

"I don't care what you say, Sev, I really don't. You are my friend, and of course I came to see you. Now tell me what did they do to you?" Gwen had her arms crossed now, looking at Snape waiting for some answers.

"Badly performed curses. Amateurs. If I hadn't had to take care of Lucius, I would've taken them all down with two hits," Snape muttered under his breath, but still loud enough for Gwen to hear him.

"He is really good for nothing, next time use him as a shield," Gwen joked, trying not to laugh. Snape now looked at her with disbelief, but soon after burst into laughter with her joining him.

"Perhaps I should, yes," Snape sighed. "However, I think Dumbledore won't let any apparition from here tonight."

"Oh… I haven't really thought of that," Gwen admitted. She really haven't thought about that when she decided to come to Hogwarts tonight. Snape sighed loudly. He expected this.

"I'll ask Minerva to set you up some of the guest quarters, then. I'll escort you tomorrow to that… house. And you're already dressed for what? A sleepover?"

"I'm a bit sick, so I stayed in the bed the whole day. And I didn't have much time to change," Gwen sighed. "But I reckon this look really fits me, what do you think?"

She made a few mannequin moves, and noticed Snape's robes on the chair next to him. In a few fast moves she pulled herself out of her robes, and put his on.

"Or do you like me better in your clothes?" she laughed, and he did too, only under his breath. "I'm staying here with you. It's not the first time, and I'll take the couch."

"You're the devil, Gwen," Snape scoffed at her. "And I won't argue with you."

"Good, because I'm not here for arguing. Besides, we haven't spent some time together in a while now," Gwen smiled widely now. She was right though.

"Alright, and tomorrow during breakfast you're out of here. I don't want that Umbridge bitch to see you here."

"Yeah, what's wrong with her?" Gwen jumped happily on the couch placed near the fireplace, unzipping her boots, kicking them aside. Snape was always annoyed with her when she was like that. Careless. But it somehow amused him too.

"Oh, I don't know… Everything," Snape sat next to Gwen, and told her about Umbridge. After that he went to the kitchens to get them something to eat, and they shared a dinner. Gwen suddenly remembered Sirius being ecstatic about making his first curry. She felt sorry she wasn't at Grimmaulds to eat with him, and she hoped that Tonks stayed for dinner. Sirius felt useless closed up in the house, and the only thing that kept him from pure alcoholism was having Gwen, and Remus there. Even though she could leave the house if she wanted to, she chose not to because she was afraid for Sirius to break out. But that night she slept at Hogwarts, in front of the warm fireplace in Snape's bedroom. Snape didn't even offer her his bed, because he knew she would never agree to that. And he didn't want to hear her complaining about him being hurt. He had enough of the night already.

* * *

Meanwhile, Tonks did stay for dinner. Sirius was nervous because Gwen left, but the fact he's not alone soothed him. His curry did burn a little, but he charmed it to be delicious. Even though Gwen told him to cook without magic, she wasn't here, so why bother following her rules? Tonks was nervous too, but not because of Gwen. She was still worried about Remus, and she really hoped to get some advice from Gwen. Tonks was sure that Snape was fine, and that Gwen can take care of herself, so she wasn't worried as Sirius was. The only thing lingering in her mind was Remus not talking to her.

"So, how would you grade my first curry?" Sirius grinned after they finished dinner.

"Oh… Magically O because you charmed it well. Culinary hmm.. A. I love that burnty aftertaste," Tonks licked her spoon before placing it on a plate.

"Maybe I'm secretly very talented at cooking, imagine!"

"Oh yes, rich boy ex-con turning his life upside down by becoming a master chef," Tonks said mockingly, and Sirius started laughing with his significant laughter. Tonks morphed herself to look like one of _the Daily Prophet_ journalists. "And now, ladies and gentlemen, I present you Sirius Black." Tonks clapped to finish her act, and Sirius was choking on his laughter.

"Thank you, thank you," Sirius gasped with laughter, and Tonks joined him. They laughed for a minute or two, when they finally got a hold of themselves.

"So, what happened on your Auror duty? Was I mentioned?" Sirius eyebrows popped a few times.

"Surprisingly, no. We were after some Death Eaters. Caught some bastards too. Oh, I was made second, and Kingsley and I totally kicked some nasty dark arse there!" Tonks cheered herself.

"Wow, who knew you'd turn up to be a kick arse auror!" Sirius smiled at her. "That Kingsley is a bit too calm. During the first war, James and I placed a bet if we'll ever see him smile. He laughed at some jokes, sure, but never smiled."

"Oh, Kingsley can smile! After the raid we had, we went for some drinks. He got a bit drunk, and he was smiling all the time."

"Drunk smiling does not count!" Sirius proclaimed. He figured Tonks will give him some valuable information. Maybe that was the night when she's sent that patronus. "Where were you then?"

"Oh, Glasgow. It was on Sunday," Tonks didn't suspect a thing. "In fact, when we got to our rooms, I think he fell asleep instantly. He snored so loud it was almost unbearable."

"Really?" Sirius played as dumb as he could. Of course Remus jumped into wrong conclusion. Exactly what he thought.

"Totally. Remus is nothing comparing to Kingsley," Tonks said, alluding to the comment Sirius made about Remus when she stayed there for the first time.

"Moony is not the worst, I know. I just said that to involve him in a conversation, because he was so distracted. Probably thinking something rather stupid about himself."

Tonks face suddenly became serious. Maybe she should talk to Sirius about Remus' behaviour. And she knew Sirius already knows everything about Remus.

"I really don't get why he thinks so badly about himself," Tonks sighed.

"Tonksie, Moony is used to people avoiding him, or rejecting him from a moment they find out about his condition," Sirius face was now without a smirk, or grin. Steady. "He has a hard time trusting people."

"I guess…" Tonks sighed again, now more sadly. She didn't want to tell Sirius straight forward what Remus told her. It felt like she's betraying him, and she didn't want that.

"I noticed him being even more silent, and isolated after your last mission," Sirius smirked. "What happened there, hm?" He however didn't have any shame.

"Really?" Tonks lowered her look now feeling worse than before. She really did fuck things up. "I think there's a big misunderstanding between him and me."

"Care to elaborate?" Sirius asked, holding his wine glass now, taking a small sip.

"We were talking. And he told me some stuff, you know," Tonks said still looking at her lap. "I thought he's uncomfortable, and that he doesn't want to talk anymore about a certain topic. So I started talking about myself."

"Oh…" Sirius still played dumb, even though he already knew that. And it turned out he really was alright. Remus' attitude complicated this whole thing unnecessarily.

"Yes… I noticed it straight away. But I thought he was embarrassed, or something. And now he's acting so strange…" Tonks sighed again.

"How do you know? You weren't here for the past week," Sirius now enjoyed playing dumb. Tonks bit her lip because she trapped herself now. She couldn't lie because Sirius would now, and that meant she could only tell him the truth.

"Well, I've sent him a patronus on Sunday. And he didn't sent anything back. I felt like an idiot, really."

Sirius started to laugh now, pretending, but the small part of him was really amused.

"I'm sorry, but it seems you were a bit impatient with him. Do you know what his patronus is?" Sirius asked Tonks, and Tonks realised she doesn't have a clue. And he saw hers a few times now. "Exactly, Tonksie. It's a wolf. He was convinced it was a werewolf for two years, but it's just a regular wolf. He hates it."

"I haven't even thought of that. You think he doesn't want me to know that? I mean… I don't know. If we're going to work together, I should know stuff like that," Tonks now curled on the chair.

"Mhm… Work. You know, he is a great bloke, Tonksie. He really is. But don't be hard on him. What did you talk about?" Sirius now wanted to see what will Tonks say. He was testing her in a way. If she doesn't say, that means she cares for Remus, and his trust.

"Oh… I'd rather not say," Tonks said determined, fidgeting with her sweater sleeves. "You know everything about him, and you're quite the blabber mouth. I don't want to know things he didn't tell me himself. Alright?"

"That's fair. But I want to know what do you think about him?" Sirius was persistent. Tonks sighed. Maybe if she tells Sirius what exactly she thinks, he will try to help her. However, she decided to hide the truth a bit.

"Well… I think he is rather funny, and interesting. I like working with him, and I would like him to trust me. You know, business matter."

"Again you with business, and work. This has nothing to do with that, and you know it," Sirius grinned again, and it reminded Tonks about her mother. That's how she grinned when she was right, or when her plan got realised perfectly.

"Well, I like hanging out with you here, too," Tonks admitted, and shrugged. She felt a bit embarrassed to say things like that. She must've sounded so miserable. "Don't know, I don't want him to dislike me. And my tongue is sometimes faster than my mind."

"Oh, Tonksie, don't feel bad. I love having you here!" Sirius nudged her gently, and she smiled at him. "And according to Moony being all giddy during our meetups, I reckon he does too. Talk to him when you see him. Straightforward. That's the best way with him, you know?"

"I guess," Tonks sighed.

"Don't look so worried, c'mon. Let's play some cards, hm?"

"Sure," Tonks smiled shyly. She and Sirius played cards, and talked about various subjects, but mostly making fun of people they knew. Sirius made a remark about Hestia, and Kingsley, but Tonks didn't say anything. She'll share that information with Gwen only. And the information about what she said to Remus while he carried her into her room. She can't talk to Sirius about that. He was too much of a tease, and she figured he would smother Remus with stupid comments. So, she'll have to wait. For Gwen or Remus, whoever comes first. They figured how late it was just around 3 o'clock, and Tonks agreed to sleep there. It was the first night there were only the two of them in the house. No Remus. No Gwen. When Tonks laid in her bed, she thought how she almost misses hearing Remus' snoring in the room next door.

* * *

_23_ _rd_ _of September 1995_

Tonks woke up exceptionally early. It was almost 9 o'clock, and she laid quietly to see if she'll hear Remus now. To her disappointment, she didn't hear him. But she heard Gwen humming while passing next to her door. Tonks jumped from her bed, and opened the door a bit too sudden.

"Gwen," she said, whispering loudly, and Gwen flinched. "Come 'ere!"

Gwen nodded, and entered Tonks' room.

"I didn't know you were here, good morning," Gwen greeted Tonks with a smile.

"Is Snape okay?" Tonks asked. She saw how worried Gwen was yesterday, and she didn't really want Snape to be hurt, or something.

"Yes, he is. I couldn't apparate back yesterday, though. Listen, I was just going to get some coffee. Want some? We can finish our talk if you want," Gwen was glad to see Tonks here. Because she really did want to talk to her some more.

"Sure, but where are the two tall gits?"

"Well… The tall, dark-haired princess is sleeping soundly in his room, and the tall wolf-queen decided not to sleep at all, so he went to the Diagon Alley right after reporting in. Hestia told me he was awfully quiet."

Tonks now felt even worse. Remus is now avoiding her, feeling miserable, and it's all her fault. And she really needed a shower.

"I'll go and take a shower, and you make us some coffee. Deal?" Tonks asked.

"Deal, I'll meet you here, then," Gwen said, and left the room. She was, again, barefoot, but now at least her feet were clothed in some fuzzy socks. Tonks picked some clean clothes – Aerosmith hoodie, and a pair of dark blue stretched jeans. She hurried to the bathroom, and removed her clothes quickly. The shower was not long, but she felt better after it. She morphed her hair to be peach pink with teal tips, short, and pointy. When she entered her room, Gwen was already there, placed on her bed with two coffee mugs in her hands.

"Right on time!" Gwen said, and Tonks joined her on the bed. "Oh, and one more thing. _Muffliato._ " Gwen waved her wand, and cast a spell Snape taught her a few years ago. It was useful spell, and she liked his spells. They were useful, and practical. Once she even defended herself with his _Sectumsempra_ curse, and she did that rather successfully.

"Oh… What does that do?" Tonks asked, unaware of the effect of the charm she just witnessed.

"It's in case someone comes here to eavesdrop on us," Gwen handed the mug to Tonks, who took a sip instantly. She burned her tongue, but she didn't care.

"I've been dying to tell you this since it happened," Tonks started. "You know the night of the full moon? Well, Remus carried me to the bed. I guess Sirius carried you, hm. Anyway, while he did that, I made a stupid drunk comment. I was teasing him."

"What did you say?" Gwen asked.

"Oh… that he's dreamy," Tonks felt her cheeks blushing, but she couldn't help herself.

"Really?" Gwen smiled now, making the approving face.

"Yes. It was stupid, Gwen, really stupid from me to say that. And he told me some stuff on the last stakeout, and I guess I acted differently than he expected me to act," Tonks shrugged.

"I noticed he's a bit more moody, and gloomy, than usual. We were reading in the library just the other night, and he didn't even comment on Sirius childish notes he wrote with disappearing ink on some pages," Gwen concluded.

"I think it's connected to what I did on the stakeout. Combined with that slip… Oh my, he must've been thinking I'm a mental case," Tonks cried a bit, and took another sip of coffee.

"No, Tonks, just talk to him when you see him. And besides, maybe he didn't understand the drunk you. Talk to him, and it'll be fine."

"What do you think about him?" Tonks asked Gwen, hoping Gwen will understand why she's asking.

"Well, I think he is a great friend, a smart bloke, quite funny, but too quiet. He has so much to say, but he opens up so hardly. And I had some experience with those types of people. Being straightforward is the best thing you can do with them. And I hate pretenders, so I guess that's why we get along so well," Gwen sighed, taking a sip of her coffee.

"Gwen… is the one you're talking about Snape? I mean he is quite… closed," Tonks didn't know how to describe Snape without sounding insulting. Her first association was friendless, but it seemed Gwen really was his friend.

"Well, yes. Sev is similar with Moony in that, I guess. They both don't trust people easily, and they have to feel comfortable around people to start talking, or whatever," Gwen said, knowing Tonks will ask more about Snape. Gwen kind of guessed she owed Tonks an explanation, since she abandoned her yesterday.

"I see… And he is comfortable around you? He rather seems so," Tonks said curiously.

"I guess he is. But not comfortable enough, apparently. He says we're not even friends," Gwen scoffed a bit.

"That's bollocks. I saw you two interacting with each other a few times now, and he doesn't act like that with anyone else," Tonks said, not really sure how will Gwen understand this. Maybe she'll say more about Snape. Maybe Kingsley was right.

"Well, I guess so, too. But he insists for some reason," Gwen shrugged. "There are a few things I don't understand about him, Tonks, and don't even ask me what. Because I couldn't verbalise it, anyway."

"So you think Remus is complicated as that too?" Tonks decided not to pick on Snape topic anymore.

"Well, maybe even worse. Because he thinks he doesn't deserve anything. Severus, on the other hand, made a choice to be cold. Remus just grew to live with feeling hated all the time. I can't imagine how hard that must've been," Gwen sighed once more, and took another sip of her coffee. "You should definitely talk to him, and I mean it. He is used to rejection, so maybe he'll get the acception even harder. Not trusting, remember?"

"But he believes you accepted him, right?" Tonks asked, now feeling like she is once again left out.

"Yes, but I'm in a different position. We're sharing this living space together, and I don't see him as any different than me, or Sirius. You're, however, a special category," Gwen mocked Tonks a bit, but just for the laughs. She didn't think anything bad, just that Tonks is different. Both by abilities, and to Remus, than Sirius and she.

"I'm not different. At least I don't want to be," Tonks sighed. "Look, all my life I was different, and special. But I don't want that. I'm just Tonks. And I see him as equal, just Remus. You're just Gwen, and Sirius is just a bloody prat. But aren't we all, really?"

Gwen laughed a bit at Tonks' words.

"Sure, and I understand you because we share that thought. But be sure to explain that to Remus in a way he won't think you're pitying him, or feeling sorry for him. I'm sure you'll make him listen, and understand your words just right, eh?" Gwen nudged Tonks a bit, who was curled on the end of the bed.

Tonks thought about Gwen's words, and realised she's right. If she just blurted things at Remus, he would most definitely found himself endangered somehow. And he won't want to talk anymore. So there is no point in taking that approach. She will have to think about something soft, but yet direct enough for him to understand that she really does accept him the way he is. She wasn't afraid of him not even a single bit. Moreover, she now wanted to spend time with him more than ever.

* * *

It was Tonks' day off, so she decided to spend the whole day with Sirius, and Gwen. To be more honest, she wanted to catch Remus, and talk to him. In fact, since she was on an away raid, she got the whole week free, so she knew he'll catch him in some point. But Remus wasn't there even in the evening. While Sirius, Gwen, and Tonks had dinner, they didn't even notice Remus sneaking into the house. He thought that Sirius, and Gwen are having dinner alone, so he decided to just hide in the library, or his room. Anywhere, just to be alone.

Gwen did the new schedule. Some new names were added on to watch list, and she purposely made a plan for Remus, and Tonks to go to another stakeout tomorrow. It was a stakeout mission, but with a possibility of trailing the suspected Death Eater. Gwen explained that to Tonks during dinner, and noticed Sirius' worried face because Remus wasn't there. Their peaceful meal was interrupted by Kreacher stumbling into the dining room, cursing under his breath.

"What is it, Kreacher?" Gwen asked him. Kreacher kind of respected Gwen, and he would mostly talk with her normally, without insults. However, Sirius' mother didn't. She would usually throw a _blood traitor_ every once in a while, just to remind Gwen of her pure-blood.

"Kreacher is dissatisfied because the half-breed kicked him out from the library. Kreacher just wanted to clean up a bit," the elf said quietly, but all of the present ones heard him just right.

"Remus is here?" Tonks jumped a bit, knocking over her glass of pumpkin juice. "Oh…"

Tonks sighed, but Gwen already made the juice vanish with a swift wave of her hand.

"Just go," she winked at her, and Tonks stood up, heading to the library.

"Did you…" Sirius started the sentence.

"Yes, and I guess we told her the same thing," Gwen smiled at Sirius.

Tonks was running up the stairs, managing to skip one or two steps while doing so. She didn't even trip, and she was way too excited. She wasn't usually this rushed. She found herself in front of the closed library door, and stopped for a second or two. She didn't really have a plan, and she really didn't know what to say to him, but she knew she has to talk to him. She opened the door without knocking, slowly. Remus was so buried in his book that he didn't even notice her entering.

"Remus," she said softly, and he flinched a bit too hard at the sound of her voice. He expected Gwen, or Sirius to sneak up on him, but not her. He took a quick, but thorough look at her. She looked thinner than usual, but it was hard to estimate that since she wore baggy clothes. "You're here." Tonks now smiled widely, and brightly.

"Tonks… What are you doing here?" he said, closed his book, and put it on the coffee table.

"I slept here yesterday. Gwen went to see Snape, and I stayed with Sirius for dinner, and some company," Tonks didn't want to talk about that, but it was a start.

"Gwen went out? Did something happen?" Remus asked, and stood up, moving closer to Tonks. He was now worried that something happened to her too. He was, however, surprised that she didn't flinch, or move backwards. Instead, she moved two steps closer to him.

"Well, Snape was attacked. It's nothing, and he's fine, but Gwen rushed immediately to see him. You missed Sirius' first curry, and it was pretty good," Tonks now looked straight at Remus, whose look was focused on everything, just not her.

"Sirius, cooking? Miracles do happen, then," Remus said under his breath, turning away from Tonks, and sitting in the armchair again. She's fine, obviously.

"So, how are you?" Tonks asked, and she sat in the corner of the couch that was closest to Remus.

"I'm alright, you?" he answered shortly. He really didn't want for her to ask him about the patronus, but he knew that can't be avoided.

"Well, I was on the Auror mission, but of course you already know that. I was so pissed when Kingsley told me about it. I reckon they could give us some notice, not just… A note that we're going there like right now," Tonks said, now fidgeting her sleeves in her fingers. She was way to nervous. She really didn't get why. Remus was quiet, so she decided to go on. "And it was supposed to be a week, but Mary and Audrey found another trace, so we stayed a bit longer."

"Mission went well?" he asked, not really sure why.

"Yes, oh my… In the night I've sent you the patronus I had my first mission as Kingsley's second! It was dope," she now looked at him straight in the eyes, as she caught his look. She wanted to know if he purposely ignored her.

"Congratulations," he said shortly, trying to control himself. He really controlled himself not to do, or say something stupid, or even running away from the room. She broke the peace he hoped to have, but somewhat he didn't really mind her presence. Melancholic melody of _Dazed and Confused_ filled the room, as they both sat quiet.

"I'm sorry!" both of them said it at the same time. He gestured her to start first. Ladies first, always. She was, once again, surprised by his manners.

"No, please, you first," she said. "I feel like I'll fuck it up even more with my non-coordinating brain, and tongue."

"Very well," Remus said. "I should've sent you something after you've sent me the Patronus. I thought you don't really want to talk to me, after the last stakeout. And don't worry, I completely understand if you want to work with Kingsley on Order missions, too."

"What are you talking about? Why would I want to work more with him? You think he's not sitting on my head enough in the Ministry?" Tonks was confused with the question, but remembered Sirius' words, and Gwen's too. She needs to make this right, make him understand that her view of him didn't change a bit.

"Well… I figured you… After what I… Oh bloody hell," he cursed himself under his breath. How, and why does she mix his brain like this? It's not like he didn't know what to say. He knew perfectly well, but the words came out just wrong.

"After you what? After you shared something that wasn't easy for you with me?" Tonks lifted her eyebrow, and Remus was speechless. He wasn't sure what's happening, but the more he looked at her, the more sure he was that he really did jump into wrong conclusion.

"Tonks… Nymphadora…" he said, and sighed.

"Don't Nymphadora me! Do you really think I wouldn't want to work with you just because you told me something that happened 30 years ago? I don't understand how you got that vibe from me," Tonks said, but she was bolder now. She didn't look away, and she found herself mesmerized by Remus' eyes.

"I didn't say that," he said shortly.

"Remus, listen to me now. I don't think you're a freak, a monster, soulless, or whatever the fuck you think you are," Tonks exclaimed a bit too loudly, and sounded harsh. That wasn't being no hard on him. She took a deep breath. "I'm sorry."

"No need to apologise," Remus said flatly. "I'll always appreciate your thoughts, even if I don't necessarily agree with them."

"Right," Tonks was flustered a bit, but knew she must keep talking. "I really didn't want to turn out that way. I thought you're not comfortable enough to tell me the whole story. That's why I stopped you."

Remus' face was now frozen, along with his body. Her fierceness left him in awe, as he looked at her face, looking a bit scared. She bit her lip nervously, and he found that very tempting. An image of him kissing her, laying on top of her on that couch. She smelled like fruits, so she must've taste sweet too. Kissing her.

"Stop staring at me, and say something… Please," Tonks said, because the silence was unbearable.

"I didn't feel uncomfortable at all, Tonks," he pulled out a half-smile, and Tonks let out a loud breath of relief.

"See, I'm an idiot. I'm sorry. I'll never ever do that again," she lowered her look. She did feel a bit embarrassed.

"No, don't apologise. I appreciate the thought, really," Remus voice was steady, but he sounded honest. "Someone once's said to me I'm the master in jumping into wrong conclusions, so I guess you don't know who you're dealing with."

Tonks looked at him for a few seconds, and then burst into heartfelt laughter.

"You see? How could I ever think badly about you?" Tonks sighed, and Remus stayed quiet. "Anyway, Gwen set us up with another mission. Stakeout, maybe finally some action."

"She didn't say anything to me," Remus frowned. He was still surprised by the image that was still lingering in his mind. She seemed sincere, and he couldn't help himself but trust her. He said it point blank, he appreciates her thought, no matter how wrong he thinks they are.

"Come on, you must eat something. We just ate, but I'll keep you company," Tonks jumped from the couch, and Remus gave up. He thought she was wrong with thinking he's normal, but he couldn't hide the fact that her affection, and attention made him extraordinarily happy. He never felt like that. Not even while at Hogwarts. Tonks stretched her arm to help him get up, and he accepted it. The touch of her smooth, warm skin gave him goosebumps. Of course, she didn't know that.

"Alright, but you must tell me all about your Auror mission, hm?" Remus smiled at her, standing right in front of her. She seemed so tiny, and he again felt the urge to kiss her. Or at least hug her. But he can't do that. He shouldn't do that.

"Deal," Tonks said, she let go of his hand, and turned to exit the library, with him following her. " _This went well. Quite well, actually,_ " Tonks thought while they were descending to the dining room. Sirius and Gwen were still sitting in the dining room, now sharing a glass of wine.

"Oho, look who finally showed up. See Gwen, I told you he's not dead, or kidnapped," Sirius nudged Gwen, who rolled her eyes, and clapped his hands.

"Padfoot, what a coincidence, I was just telling Tonks what a prat you are," Remus said with a sarcastic grin on his face.

"Oh la-la! You're talking about me? I'm flattered," Sirius waved his hand funnily.

"Yes, we talk about you all the time. In fact, we don't talk about nothing else. Just you," Remus raised an eyebrow with a sarcastic look, and Tonks tried not to burst into laughter behind him.

"Really?" Sirius said being too serious.

"Sorry, but no. I know it's hard to comprehend such things with your head stuck in your rear end, but the world, once again, doesn't not revolve around you," Remus stuffed his hands into his pockets now. "But I've been telling Tonks what a prat you are, don't worry."

"O-ho! I haven't heard a comeback this hard from you in a while now. Gwen, open the champagne, Moony is back in the house," Sirius clapped a few more times. Remus rolled her eyes, but Tonks decided to get back at Sirius. He really was a prat sometimes. She morphed her hair to look like Sirius', and put a beard on her face, not morphing it, and clapped mockingly a few times, and Gwen into a loud laughter at that scene. Tonks morphed herself back to her previous self, and laughed at the sight of Gwen kicking Sirius in the shoulder, gasping for air with laughter. Remus started to laugh too, and soon all of them made an ancient house filled with laughter.

* * *

_30_ _th_ _of September 1995_

It was a week after, and Tonks and Remus were on another stakeout. It was the different house, but the task was as boring as it could get. Tonks spent the whole week on the stakeouts, since she was off from her Auror job. Kingsley, however, announced that there will be more of those missions, and that they will be travelling again soon. Tonks liked her Auror job, and it was exciting doing those kind of raids. But, she couldn't deny that she liked Remus' company too. Since the talk they had, he seemed more relaxed. But Tonks still haven't heard the rest of the story. Remus was more talkative, and he joked more with her, but he didn't mention any of the personal topics. She hoped he will because she really wanted to know the rest of his story. Even though she was impatient by nature, she decided to listen to Sirius and take it easy.

"So, Remus, you're pisces in zodiac. I guess that's why you're so gentlemanly," Tonks licked the spoon with which she ate the chocolate pudding. She didn't get to buy chocolate, so she made one of her puddings. Neither she or Remus needed any comfort, however. Remus looked at her, and laughed under breath.

"And you're leo, that's why you're so… colourful," he pointed at her pink hair, now flat and shoulder length.

"Could be, could be," Tonks smiled. "But how do you explain then Gwen's not colourfulness. She's a leo too."

Remus totally forgot about Gwen, and her birthday. He was too amused with Tonks speaking those things. When he laughed at her jokes, or when he listened to her, it began hard to concentrate on the world outside of that bubble. He longed for her, but knew he can't really have her. Remus figured he will have to get used to that feeling. He was, once again, sure that she is now the top thing he wanted, but still knew he can't have. Was that love? He wasn't even sure what that infatuation meant, but with every moment he spent with her he felt more full than ever.

"Well, she is… Not so colourful, I guess," Remus said, smiling.

At that moment Tonks jumped, and nudged him to look in front of him. The Death Eater they were watching just went out of the house. In almost midnight? There was definitely something going on. Tonks quickly placed the boxes with food in her bag, and stood up, taking Remus' hand.

"You ready?" he asked her.

"Let's see what you're made of, professor," Tonks winked at him, and started walking in front of him. Of course she will be in front. She's the smaller one, and this was he protects her back. And nothing can happen to her. Nothing. The sense of protectiveness towards her grew with every day they spent together. Remus felt the need to keep her close, and he felt a bit anxious when she told him about Kingsley's plans.

They followed the hooded figure through the narrow streets, trying to not look suspicious. The figure led him straight to the Diagon Alley, which was just a few blocks away.

"I think he's leading us straight to Diagon Alley, or Knockturn," Tonks said quietly, and Remus nodded, now walking next to her, but still a step and a half behind. They walked silently, trying to be as subtle as they could. Both of them were happy that their mission took place in the centre of London, so there were people around them. Still, Tonks' hair was quite recognizable, and Remus thought of that after a few minutes of walking. Tonks murmured an incantation, and waved her wand. The almost invisible strain of light flew towards her target. It was tracking spell, but they can't get too far. But just in case they lose a sight of him for a second or two. It was the spell she learned from Moody, and was quite proud to master it.

"Tonks, your hair. Morph it, it's too bright, and flashy," he spoke softly, and she instantly made her hair chocolate brown.

"Ordinary enough?" she asked mockingly.

"You can never be ordinary," he whispered, not really sure she'd hear him. A part of him really wanted her to hear him, though. Tonks heard him, but decided to stay quiet. Actually, he wasn't quite sure she heard him right, or that maybe he wasn't sarcastic. It was his specialty after all. He opened the door of _the Leaky Cauldron_ for her, waiting two minutes. They entered the pub, which was crowded, considering it was Saturday evening. They passed through the crowd completely unnoticed, and snuck in the back. The Diagon Alley wasn't so crowded, since all the stores were closed, but still it held some people. Remus now looked at Tonks, wanting to see what does her spell do. He was quite sure it was Moody's tracking spell, so he didn't ask anything. However, he wanted to be sure. Tonks waved her wand, and a small trace of almost invisible line appeared in front of her. Remus didn't see it, though. But he believed she knows what she's doing. He trusted her.

"This way. Knockturn, I bet," she said quietly, and grabbed his hand. She let him go after a few seconds of walking holding his hand. He was so flustered, that he didn't even resist. They stepped into the small passage that connected Diagon and Knockturn Alley, and she, of course, was the first one to pass through it. Remus noticed a few dodgy, crooky looking wizards. Someone who he would expect to see in a company of Mundungus Fletcher. They followed Tonks' trace, but they got behind the corner a bit too suddenly, since their target was not so far anymore. Tonks grabbed Remus hand again, and they continued to walk, passing by the Death Eater. She led them to the small passage nearby. Still, they both felt watched.

Tonks figured they can't go anyway from this alley. The only way out was the same one they came in, or to enter one of the houses. She noticed Remus looking carefully at their target, and he cursed under his breath.

"What?" Tonks asked.

"I think he's coming to check up on here," Remus gritted.

Tonks pushed her back against the wall, and pulled Remus close to her.

"Tilt your head," Tonks whispered, and Remus did. He was so surprised by the position he found himself in now. Her body was pressed to his, and he felt her fruity scent more than before. He did tilt his head, as she said, thinking about how he wants to kiss her again. But he gathered his thoughts quickly because now she needed to be safe now. To someone who passed by the alley, it would seem like they were kissing. And that's not the most unusual thing to see in the Knockturn Alley, really. But it wasn't the Death Eater who came to check up on them. It was some hired cronie, who fell for their trick instantly. He turned, and left, and Tonks let out a deep breath, right to Remus' neck. He felt the goosebumps one more time just because of her being… Her. And there.

"Let's try this," he grabbed her arms, and gently switched their position. Since she was smaller, she was harder to notice, and if there was someone who he knows, they would be in danger.

"Oh, I see," Tonks said, and wiggled her nose as she morphed her face not to resemble her anymore. Remus was stunned by her ability once again. But this time he really wanted to have her looking like herself. Pressed against him. She leaned a bit.

"Yaxley, Bedsworth, Acker," Tonks said quietly when she recognised all of the group that stood so close, yet far from them.

"Oh… I know Yaxley, but…" Remus really didn't know any Bedsworth or Acker. He wrapped Tonks' small of the back with his right arm, and rolled her so she was pressed against the wall again. This was he was more in control, and she really made him feel things he didn't want to feel in that moment. Lust. Desire. And the adrenaline of a mission was already pumping through his body. They couldn't possibly hear what they were talking about, but this way Snape could maybe find something out because he knows who to ask.

"Bedsworth worked in the Ministry. Improper use of magic, I think. And Acker is in one of the Scrimgeour files. And Moody's too," Tonks said a bit too quickly, but she was excited she could help with her knowledge of people. Since she was a metamorphmagus, she remembered people's faces rather well. The names weren't her strong suit, but both of those people were on Moody's list for a long time. The group left after ten minutes, and Remus finally let Tonks out of his arms, who were pressed against the wall in a line of her shoulders.

"Finally, something interesting happened," Tonks said, while they stepped into the Diagon Alley. She morphed her hair back now, and ran her fingers through it. Remus was now a bit less tense, and he enjoyed just watching her move. She really was the prettiest when she was herself. And he found what her closeness far more interesting than the Death Eaters.

"You know, you morphing… It's so amazing, yet so terrifying," Remus said with a smile on his face.

"Why terrifying?" Tonks asked, pouting. "I know I'm amazing."

"Because…" Remus almost told her that she's the prettiest not morphed, but knew she can't just blurt that out. If she wasn't scared until then, she would definitely be after hearing his thoughts. "Just don't morph in front of me if it isn't necessary?"

"Alright, I'll let you slide for now, but you owe me an explanation for this," Tonks smiled widely, and Remus nodded. "So I guess our mission is over for tonight."

"I guess so, yes," Remus sighed, not quite ready to finish the night.

"Walk me home?" Tonks asked, and jumped a bit.

"Sure," Remus nodded, and smiled at her.

Tonks' apartment was a half an hour walk away from there, but the night wasn't so cold. Grimmauld Place was not far from there, and it only took Remus a ten minutes of walk. And that's nothing, because the moments they spent together meant much more. Tonks owl, whom she named, Jammie, was now at her home too. While she was away, Gwen took care of it at the Grimmaulds.

"You know, that bloody owl of yours really bites," Remus complained mockingly.

"I know, I thought it that. I'm not sure is it a male or a female, so it's it," Tonks was half skipping in her clunky boots. Remus certainly walked quicker than her, but she didn't mind.

"I should've guessed that," Remus smiled at her.

"Yes, you should've. Seriously, Remus, it's your fault," Tonks stuck her tongue out goofily.

"Nobody's fault but mine," Remus' voice was melodic, singing the song they both knew. "How come you went to the stakeouts for the whole week? I meant you wanted to spend some time, I don't know, doing your own thing."

Tonks laughed at his choice of words, which was quite poor for his usual eloquent him.

"Well, I really don't have the need to hang out with any of the Ministry colleagues, and I went to my parents twice, so… And besides, I like drinking coffee in Gwen's little potions lab. It's so charming, and it has a nice view."

Remus caught Tonks and Gwen giggling, and talking about something rather amusing just the other day. Gwen was preparing the Wolfsbane, since the full moon is inevitably coming, and Tonks was sitting on a window bench, drinking coffee from the biggest mug she could find. Remus couldn't know what they were talking about, but he interrupted them in a really steamy conversation about Gwen's sex life. Tonks liked talking with Gwen about everything, because Gwen always had some cynical, or funny comment. And the way Gwen talked about her previous partners made Tonks emphatise with her. They had similar experiences, if they counted out Gwen being engaged, and Tonks' morphing.

"I figured that, yes," Remus nodded. They continued walking, and Tonks felt so light. Like she was floating, but didn't really understand why. The conversation she had with Remus was not so serious, and it amused her. And so did him, since the smile haven't left his face for almost the whole walk. They got to her building, and Tonks stood in front of Remus now, smiling.

"Thanks for keeping me company," Tonks said, lowering her look. She felt her cheeks burning, not sure why since she hasn't done anything embarrassing. Not yet, anyway.

"It's a pleasure, really," he smiled softly, and removed a leaf that fell on the top of her head.

"Well, then… See you tomorrow?" she lifted her look up, and now looked straight at him. He was so taller than her, and she found that so… alluring.

"You know Gwen is expecting you for her Sunday lunch, right?" Remus asked Tonks, even though he already reminded her. The fact was that she didn't really need to be reminded.

"I know, I know. See you, then," she said, stepped a step closer, stood on her tiptoes, and gave him a brief kiss on the cheek. "Good night."

She turned, and headed to the entrance of the building. Of course, this hasn't gone smoothly, since she tripped on the first stair. She wasn't quite sure why she just did what she did, but she felt the strange wave of warmness while she was going up the stairs. When she entered her apartment, she let out a loud breath, and closed the door with her back. Her legs failed her, and she slowly dropped her behind on the floor. Maybe Gwen was right… What if her type really is Remus Lupin?

In front of the building, Remus still stood frozen for a few seconds before his palm flew to a place Tonks just touched with her lips. His heart skipped a few beats, and now beat too fast. Good thing he has a ten minute walk in front of him. Because if Sirius saw him in this state, he would never leave him alone again. Even if he wanted, he couldn't deny the effect she had on him. Not only he couldn't deny it. He couldn't help himself but to enjoy every second of her attention, and presence.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh hey!
> 
> So both Tonks and Remus now are aware of their attraction for each other. But what now?
> 
> What will happen next?
> 
> Who is getting out of the Grimmauld Place again?
> 
> Will Sirius ever get his head from his rear end back?
> 
> The most curious event will happen soon, too! Stay tuned, and let me know what you think xx


	17. the Revelation

_8_ _th_ _of October 1995_

Another full moon came, and it was just the day after Sirius' talk with Harry, Ron and Hermione. He was almost caught, and that made him feel anxious even more. The first reason was what will Umbridge do to Harry, and the second reason was if she maybe recognised him. Sirius was sure that Umbridge caught a glimpse of him, but he looked better now than when he escaped Azkaban. He told Remus what happened, and he remained quiet, which usually meant he doesn't have anything good to say. He didn't tell Gwen because he now knew her a bit better, and was sure she would make such a drama out of it. And Tonks was an Auror so it was better for her not to know those kind of things.

However, Sirius' mind was restless. He couldn't sleep for a whole night before, so he decided he will spend another full moon with Remus, who shrugged in a sign of agreeing. He liked having company, and Sirius knew that, so Sirius' plan was good for both of them. Gwen decided to invite Tonks over again, already preparing a bunch of Bulgarian banitsas them to munch on. Since the night of the full moon was obviously boys night, why not having them their monthly girls night? Gwen was so focused on the pastries that she didn't even notice Sirius sneaking behind her back. He closed her eyes with his hands, and felt her flinch, as she jumped so hard that her back were now pressed against his front.

"Whoa! It's just me," his hands slid from her face to her waist, hugging her lightly. She turned to face him, and touched his nose with her flour covered index finger. She smiled at him weakly, and then turned again, causing his hands to fall from her body.

"Don't scare me like that, I already told you," she resumed her banitsa making.

"Is there anything for me to eat?" he asked pouting.

"Yes, over there," Gwen pointed into already baked pastries on the counter, and Sirius jumped to get one.

"I'm so surprised I didn't get really fat because of you," he said, taking a bite of the pastry.

"Well, it's magic," she winked at him, while he chewed on the still warm food.

"I agree, you are magical," he said, hopping on a counter, taking another bite. Gwen didn't say anything, just gave him a look. A look which Sirius considered tempting, but couldn't really read what she meant by giving it. Even after months of living together, she was still a mystery to him. Considering he knew almost everything in that house, she was the most interesting thing, or human being there.

"I know I am, I don't need you to tell me that," she smiled at him, and focused on the half-made food in front of her.

"That's true, but it doesn't mean you shouldn't hear it from someone else every once in a while. For instance, I would be delighted if anyone said to me that I was, I don't know… Brilliant, creative, haughty… Anything really," Sirius sighed. Even though he joked, the joke was kind of true. He did miss receiving compliments. Now he was useless, his looks weren't that great, and his creativity hadn't really hit him. He was good at drawing, but when he tried to draw Gwen and Remus one day in the library, he lost focus, and got annoyed with every single mistake he made. The result was him throwing the drawing in the fire before both Remus or Gwen could see it. It was unfortunate because the drawing wasn't that bad at all.

"Since you're so obviously fishing for compliments," Gwen now turned to face him again. "You look better with your beard trimmed like this. And thanks to the all mighty I'm here because you're not so disgustingly thin anymore."

"I wanted compliments, and you tell me I'm disgusting… Not really what I was hoping for," Sirius pouted, and set up a sad puppy face.

"The biggest compliment I could give you, I gave you in the night Sev brought me here. Everything else is just shallow," Gwen washed her hands from flour and oil, wiped them, and now stood right in front of Sirius. "I know you may not understand what I mean when I say that, but trust me… I'm not able to give you a better compliment than that. And besides, I was always terrible with making people feeling better with my words. I can make you dozen of potions to make you feel better, but I can't pick the right words."

"Humph," Sirius scoffed. "Brainy, but bad with words. If you were paler, less self-confident, and mysteriously disappearing once a month, I would say you're Moony 2.0."

"I'm not bad with words, and neither is Remus. Emotions are what makes things difficult, and I must admit both of us are quite bad at emotions," Gwen sighed loudly.

"His problem is being a werewolf, your problem is spending too much time with Severus I-Feel-Nothing Snape."

"Stop mocking him, will you? He has his faults, but so do you," Gwen crossed her arms on her chest, looking at Sirius kind of annoyed. She was really tired of him talking about Snape like that.

"All right, sorry," Sirius said, trying not to roll his eyes. "So, what do you mean you living here is the biggest compliment? I mean, I know the house is… well, what it is, but I don't see where is a compliment here."

"What did I tell you the first night we met? What was the only thing I wanted in return?"

"To not lie to you," Sirius frowned. He remembered that night quite well.

"Exactly. The fact I chose to come to you while in danger, and what I told you that night…" Gwen shrugged. "I can't really explain it, Sirius. You could notice I'm not much of a people person, and that I would rather be left alone most of the times. But, that night when that happened, I just wanted to be close to you. I can't explain why, but with that, my brain gave you the best compliment it could comprehend, I guess."

"So, you're saying that your wish to be with me in hiding is a compliment?" Sirius was now confused.

"Yes, and no. Not the wish, just reasoning. Look Sirius…" Gwen now stepped closer to him, standing almost between his legs. He was wearing his house attire – old sweatshirt, and a training trousers. She, however, was already ready for Tonks' company, and was dressed in a black knitted sweater, and a pair of black jeans. Her hair was tied in a messy bun on top of her head, with many strains falling out. Her hair was just too thick, and there was too much of it. "Trust is the hardest thing for me to give. You may not think so, considering the circumstances of our meeting, but you're the second person who I willingly chose to be someone with whom will I share a space. My privacy."

"Hmm… And who was the first?" Sirius raised his eyebrow.

"A Muggle I almost married," Gwen said without a twitch on her face, and Sirius' eyes widened. He didn't know that. In fact, they never discussed their past romantic relationships in details.

"You're saying you want to marry me?" Sirius decided to joke better than to say something entirely inappropriate. Gwen burst into laughter when he said that, and he joined her.

"I'm over marriages, and love. What good did the love give us? Absolutely nothing," Gwen said harshly, and Sirius frowned.

"Don't say that. I've seen love, and I've seen Harry alive. And that's enough for me," Sirius said, but regretted his words because he remembered the story about Polly and Brianna. "But I do understand you. I gave up on love long time ago…"

"Well, maybe you and me are more similar than you would ever think we are," Gwen smiled at him, as they were interrupted by flustered Remus.

"Gwen, Padfoot…" Remus noticed how close they were, and overheard a bit of their conversation, which made him even more flustered. "I'm just on my way down…"

"Remus, breathe. I already set everything up, and you'll be fine," Gwen turned to Remus now, smiling softly. "And tomorrow you'll wake up feeling maybe a bit sore, but much lighter."

"I hope so… Because currently, I feel like there are at least four of me inside of this body, and all of them have their own wishes. My headache is so bad, I can barely see," Remus' face was paler, but it still wasn't awkwardly pale. He too didn't look so thin as before, and Gwen was happy to see that. She didn't know how to speak her appreciation, or emotions, but she knew how to show them. Making food for them, and keeping both of them healthy was one of the ways.

"You want a… What the hell is that, Gwen?" Sirius asked, still holding a piece of banitsa.

"It's banitsa, and if you want, Moony, take some," Gwen pointed at the done pastries.

"No, thank you. I can't really eat… Well, you know," he sighed once more, now even louder than before, and headed downstairs. "See you tomorrow, I guess," he said over his shoulder, as he disappeared in the darkness of a cellar.

"Oh Gwen, I forgot to tell you. I won the bet," Sirius said grinning.

"You what? I didn't…" Gwen was confused, but not quite ready to give up on this.

"Yes, Remus is completely aware he fancies Tonks. I doubt he would admit it if you ask him, though. He told me himself," Sirius now grinned even harder. "And that means I won the bet."

"All right, what do you want?" Gwen looked at his grin now, a bit scared of what's going through his mind.

"I don't know yet, so I'm holding that for a while, if that's okay with you," Sirius winked now, still grinning.

"Fine," Gwen said flatly.

"Well, I shouldn't miss my cue. I'll see you tomorrow," Sirius jumped from the counter, pinched Gwen's cheek, and headed to follow his friend, finishing the banitsa. "You know, with cooking skills like this… Maybe I should marry you."

Sirius didn't even wait for Gwen's answer, as he disappeared in the same darkness as Remus did. Gwen stood frozen in the kitchen, and only the thought of talking to Tonks came to her mind. Thank God she'll be here soon because this… This wasn't normal, and Gwen was sure of it. Tonks was actually the only person she wanted, and could talk to about this.

When Sirius reached Remus, who was already sitting on the floor of the room they intended for his transformations, raised both of his eyebrows instantly.

"What?" Sirius was oblivious, and Remus sighed loudly.

"When will you admit to yourself that you grew out of looking at her only as a friend? I really can't go through the same thing you did with Marlene. That was so exhausting, and I just can't," Remus was a bit cranky, but he meant what he said. Marlene and Sirius were chasing each other for years before they finally decided to do something real. They did break up at one point, but not because they stopped loving each other.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Sirius said flatly, and became a big black dog. Remus rolled his eyes, and sighed even louder than before. That was Sirius' usual behaviour when he didn't want to talk about something. Just the proof that he's right; Sirius really does like Gwen in another way, not just as a friend.

* * *

Even though it was Sunday, Tonks was at work. It wasn't mandatory, but she chose to work it. The fact that Kingsley, and Mary were the only ones there made it even better. She spent almost the whole day in Kingsley's cubicle, because they were in a middle of preparations for their next field mission. Mary joined them for some time too, but since she wasn't a part of the next field mission, she went to do her reports from the past week. Tonks was now sitting curled up on Kingsley's spare chair, and was doing the finish touch ups of their mission day-by-day plan. The start of the mission was set in two days from today, and since she was working the Sunday, Tonks got a free Monday. Kingsley told her that the expected duration of the mission is two weeks, but he thinks they can wrap it up in ten days. And the Order meeting will be tomorrow, so she will likely spend the night at the Grimmaulds.

"Do we really have to start that early? Travelling at 6 in the morning is just brutal. Pure torture, King," Tonks cried, while doing the plan.

"Well, Tonks, that's not up to me. Scrimgeour said so, and that's not negotiable," Kingsley said not lifting his look from a stack of papers he was reading.

"I just can't with him, you know?"

"Not here, Tonks, how many times do I have to tell you?" Kingsley was a bit annoyed by Tonks' lack of self-control when it came to comments in the Auror Office.

"Right, right. Who will be your second this time? Should I put Dawlish?" Tonks asked, chewing the tip of the pencil she used for writing notes.

"Do you hate me that much? Of course no. Write this... Now listen very carefully, N-Y-M-P..."

"All right, just shut it. Don't finish it. Ever," Tonks said, and wrote her name as the second.

"Or what?" Kingsley asked her, raising his eyebrows.

"I'll kick your arse, and hex you into oblivion," Tonks said, and did a sudden leg move towards Kingsley, but as she did that she fell from the chair. Kingsley just burst into laughter at her.

"You know, this place was so dull before you joined. Really," he said, shaking his head, focusing back on the papers.

"Yes, well, I know I'm the spirit of every party," Tonks made a dramatic head movement, which made Kingsley laugh even harder.

"All right, party queen, let's finish that plan so both of us can get the hell out of from here," Kingsley suggested.

"Sure," Tonks took the plans again. "You're in a hurry? I can finish it on my own, really."

"I know you can, but I have something else to finish while you do that," Kingsley gave her a matter-of-factly look, which meant no joking, just business.

Tonks finished the plan in the next hour, so she took off. Kingsley was still there, frowning over the papers he so thoroughly studied. It was evening, and Tonks was a bit cold, so she buckled her Auror robes, since she didn't bring any jacket. Her hair was orange, short and curly today. She really wanted to walk, but the freshness of the air made her change her mind, so she apparated right at the door of the Grimmauld Place. She opened them slowly, not wanting to break the peace in the house. However, as soon as she entered, she heard music blasting from the kitchen. Tonks hurried there, and found Gwen dancing by herself on _Led Zeppelin IV_. Tonks noticed it was Remus' record player, and probably his record.

"Oh, hey Tonksie," Gwen jumped a bit, and hugged Tonks instantly. Tonks smiled brightly now. The warmness Gwen had as a person was so contradict to her character, and Tonks found that really curious. Gwen was so closed to the world, acting like Snape for people who she didn't know, like or trust, but when she relaxes, she was so warm, loving, and caring. The idea of Snape being exactly the same made Tonks flinch every time it went through her head.

"Wotcher, G," Tonks said, and instantly went to the basket where the banitsas were stored. She jumped on the counter, just like Sirius did before. "I don't even know what that is, but I'm so hungry, that I won't even ask."

"Though day at work?" Gwen said, as she charmed the mess she made in the kitchen away.

"No, no. It was rather cool, I must admit. But Kingsley, and I didn't take any breaks so… Bon appetite to me!" Tonks cheered, and took a bite of pastry.

"Bon appetite then!" Gwen exclaimed.

"Where are the pair of sod tossers?" Tonks asked in the middle of the bites. The pastry was delicious, and she just wanted to hug Gwen one more time for making it so tasty. "And this… whatever that is… It's magnificent."

"Both of them are downstairs already, but I didn't hear a howl, so I think Remus is still Remus if you want to…"

"No, no," Tonks shook her head. "He asked me not to do that. And I respect that… Although I don't get how he let you see it."

"I made him a deal he couldn't refuse," Gwen said, and winked at Tonks. "And the thing you're eating is called banitsa. It's Bulgarian traditional pastry. And thank you! I'm sure you would make them as delicious as I did."

"Hardly doubt that. I'm terrible at cooking, really," Tonks said, finishing the first pastry, taking another one.

"This is baking, and that's not what I heard from Moony," Gwen now looked at Tonks significantly.

"Oh… Comfort food is something else," Tonks said in her defence, but Gwen scoffed at her a bit.

"No it's not. Every food can be comfort food if you make it that way. Now, take those banitsas, and move your arse into the drawing room. We're changing the venue today."

"And the drink too!" Tonks jumped, and ran to get her rucksack she left on the dining table. When she came back, she had a bottle of tequila in her hand.

"Oh my… I hadn't drank tequila… In ages!" Gwen said excitedly. "Shots?"

"Is there any other way to drink it?" Tonks asked, grabbed the basket, and left the kitchen, now heading to the drawing room. Gwen followed her with the record player, and two shot glasses flowing behind her.

Tonks and Gwen were now lounged into the drawing room couch, music blasting from the record player. They drank half of the tequila bottle, and both of them were now right between tipsy and drunk. Gwen still couldn't shake the thought of what Sirius said. Why did he proclaim his bet victory right then? And what about that comment? Marry her? What is he thinking? Tonks figured something was on Gwen's mind since her comments were less cynical, and were less often than ever.

"So, G, what's bothering you? And don't say it's nothing because it's too obvious," Tonks said, and poured them another shot. They had lemons and salt too, because that was the only way Gwen accepted to drink tonight. "So spill it! Did the gits do something wrong? Because if they did, I'll kick their arses so hard!"

"No, no, they didn't do anything… Although, one of them did," Gwen sighed, they cheered and downed the freshly poured shot. "It's Sirius."

"Oh… What did he do? Does he need some arse kicking? Because I'm really in a mood!" Tonks jumped a bit, but Gwen pulled her down.

"Don't do that, you'll fall down. And no, he just made a comment… I don't know," Gwen said, now pouring another shot.

"What kind of comment? I don't get this, cooperate with me girl," Tonks said excitedly.

"Well… Hm… You see we made a bet, and the first time I won, but he raised the stakes. And now, as he says, he won. I can't really prove it, and the prize is whatever the winner wants," when Gwen finished the sentence, they cheered again, and downed another shot.

"So what was the bet about?" Tonks asked, still a bit confused.

"Doesn't matter, really," Gwen tried to not to laugh. How funny would it be if Tonks knew that she and Remus were the subject of their bet? "But that's not the problem."

"I don't follow," Tonks' brain was a bit blurry, but she could still think straight. She poured them another shot.

"Well…" Gwen licked the salt, downed her shot, and then bit the lemon. She was anxious, as she wasn't used to talking about this kind of things with someone. She wanted to talk to Tonks, but felt like she needs some alcohol braveness to tell exactly what was on her mind. "So, just before you came here, we talked a bit. And I told him some things…"

"Stop. If you want me to understand this, tell me the whole thing!" Tonks insisted, and then downed her shot.

"Sure… All right… Well…" Gwen felt the lump in her throat. "He was fishing for compliments, you know? And I told him that my biggest compliment was when I decided to come here. Look, Tonks…"

"I get you," Tonks interrupted her, and Gwen for once didn't mind that. She struggled with words, and kind of hoped Tonks would jump in. "Maybe you won't admit it right away, but you're one of those who doesn't trust easily too. You were kind of forced to trust me at first, but you changed when you became comfortable with me being around. And as you told me the story, you chose to come here after the attack. So, you trust Sirius. And in your case, I would really get that as a compliment, if I were him."

Gwen was speechless for a second. Tonks really got her right this time. Gwen wasn't sure was it tequila, or just the thought of really having a friend who gets her, but she somehow felt warmer. Another shot appeared in front of her in seconds. They cheered, and downed the drinks.

"I can't add, or deduct anything from what you just said. Except I wasn't forced to trust you. I was kind of forced to work with you, but I chose to trust you on my own," Gwen smiled at Tonks, and Tonks returned her the smile. "Well… After I said what it meant, and that he is the second person I agreed to share a space with, he asked me who. You see, I told him about Felix before, but not the whole story. He was kind of stunned when I told him I was supposed to marry him."

"Well I was too! But I don't get why would he care, I mean he acts like he doesn't have the kind of feelings that would make him feel jealous," Tonks was now confused.

"I thought so too, but he asked me does that means I want to marry him…"

"He what?" Tonks blurted a bit too loudly.

"Yes… And when he was leaving the room, right after he told me how he won the bet, he made a comment…" Gwen took a deep breath. "He told me, and I quote 'Maybe I should marry you'."

Tonks choked a bit, and then looked at Gwen surprised. This wasn't what she expected to hear, at all. What is this all about?

"What. The. Fuck?" Tonks was frozen.

"My thoughts exactly. He said I cook so good before that… You know, like that's a reason why he should marry him. But how stupid is that, really?" Gwen poured them another shot, and now Tonks was the one who didn't wait.

"Do you think he… fancies you? Like he wants to shag you brainless?" Tonks asked point blank, realising what words she picked right when she already told them.

"Well… he did make a few comments that alluded that quite a few times now," Gwen said quickly, and downed her shot.

"And you failed to mention that?" Tonks was now even more shocked.

"Sorry. I thought that was a joke. Like, one day while you and Remus were on a mission, he got into my room and told me there are many fun and exciting things we could do indoors. As I was already in the bed then, he didn't fail to mention that. Or when I woke him up after… you know. I'm so bad at this, Tonks," Gwen sighed sadly. That was the first time Tonks saw another part of Gwen. Gwen that wasn't confident or sure in her words. Gwen, who doubted herself badly. Not because she didn't know what to do, but because she didn't know what to think.

"Well, in my experience, and I must admit I don't have much of that, those kind of jokes are never just jokes. He is joking, but I bet if you showed any chance he might shag you, he would do that with no second thoughts," Tonks said, smiling devilishly. "And I can see why, I mean, let's not lie ourselves here, you're one really pretty woman."

"Well, thank you, Tonks, but… I don't know. I'm not the kind of person for casual sex. And especially not with the person I live with. If we were… Oh, I don't know!" Gwen sighed loudly.

"So you don't want casual, but you do fancy him?" Tonks now asked straightforward, with no hesitation. Gwen thought for about thirty seconds about her answer, and Tonks waited patiently, but then broke the silence. "Answer me, Gwendolyn."

"Well, Nymphadora," Gwen teased her. She didn't despise her name as Tonks did hers, but she didn't like to be called by her full name. And Tonks was now too drunk, and too amused to argue with her about that. The answer was more important. "I don't know… After the last man I thought in that way, I kind of… deleted that part of my brain?"

Both of them burst into laughter at her choice of words.

"I mean, not like deleted it, but chose not to think about that things. And I didn't… Until a few days ago when Sirius and I made that peach pie."

"The one that jerk ate before I even tasted it? He really is a criminal!" Tonks said overexcited, but calmed herself in a second. "And wait a minute, you thought about him? Like you fancy him? In THAT way? And are you talking about Felix again?"

"I don't know, Tonks. I mean, he is… handsome, and he looks so good when he trims that beard. And he is funny, he understands me... Well, not in a way he doesn't need explanations of my words, but in a way he doesn't question my doings, or ideas. I trust him, and it is nice to sp… oh my God!" Gwen realised what she was just saying. It was either tequila, or Tonks slipped some Veritaserum in her drink, and she knew Tonks would never do that. Maybe she really did fancy Sirius.

"I'm sorry, G, but from my point of view, you do fancy my idiotic cousin," Tonks told her flatly. "A lot. How did you know the last time? With Felix?"

"Felix wasn't the last one with whom I had… a connection," Gwen said silently, and Tonks frowned. "And that time… oh my God… It was the same as now. Kuchi sin!"

"Fuck… You're swearing in Bulgarian," Tonks was now even more surprised. Why was Gwen so upset about this. "So, who was it?"

Gwen gave up on shots, and now licked the salt from her hand, and took the whole bottle, taking few chugs, followed by biting lemon. Tonks now looked at her, waiting for her to drop the name.

"I'm waiting," Tonks said.

"All right… But you must swear, Tonks, you will never, ever say what you're about to hear now. Because there are only two living people who knows this. Me, and him."

"Sure, you have my word. Pinky swear? Unbreakable vow? And now you're scaring me…" Tonks looked at Gwen's face, which was motionless now. "Oh. My… Don't say. Please don't say it. No. I can't imagine… "

Gwen let out a small squeal, and took another few chugs of tequila.

"It was Sev," Gwen now pierced Tonks with her eyes, and Tonks' palms flew to cover her cheeks. Tonks' face was surprised, terrified, excited, confused, and interested at once. The cat was out of the bag, and Gwen was nervous by the lack of Tonks' speaking ability. "Oh God… I broke you." Gwen sighed with a crying voice.

"This explains EVERYTHING!" Tonks jumped on the couch. "Oh my holy fucking Merlin, Myron Wagtails vocal chords, and the whole most ancient and noble house of fucking Black!"

"Tonks…"

"No, tell me everything now. You have to. Snape… and you. I could scream now, you know?"

"Why? Why is it so unimaginable?" Gwen asked in her defence.

"Well, you're so…" Tonks pointed at her. "And he is so…" she morphed her face to resemble Snape's most snarkiest face.

"He is much more than that. And I know people here don't like him, but he is a great person when he chooses to be one," Gwen felt the urge to protect Snape.

"All right, then tell me what happened there so I might understand it better," Tonks placed herself closer to Gwen, and now looked at her eager for the whole story.

"So… Hm… Soon after my mother died, we started working together. You know that already. And Sev, he's a really good company when he lets himself be one. We talked a lot, and worked a lot together. After two years of that, I guess both of us noticed the tension… The connection, it's hard to explain. He tried to deny it when I made some remarks about it, but I was sure he does feel something. Just like I did. It wasn't like we were madly in love. But we were… attracted to each other. I can't really describe it, really," Gwen sighed, feeling the alcohol flowing through her body. She was drunk, but she didn't regret telling this to Tonks. She felt like she could tell Tonks everything.

"Go on, I want to know!" Tonks was impatient.

"All right, but don't interrupt me until I'm finished, right?"

"Sure!"

"Well, we played that teasing game for a while… Until the night I decided to end the game."

_It was a winter night at Hogwarts, almost two years ago from today. The snow was storming outside heavily, and by the next morning the grounds were covered in a thick layer of snow. Gwen and Snape were in his office, trying to make a better Felix Felicis. Both of them struggled, but then decided to work together better than doing it separately._

_"So you think we made it, hm?" Gwen asked cautiously, looking at the potion Snape was stirring over his shoulder._

_"Oh, I certainly think we did," Snape said confidently, enjoying the warmness of her breath that he felt for a moment on his neck._

_"Test it," Gwen demanded, and distanced herself for a bit. Since she admitted to herself that there is something between Snape and her, she tried to see his reactions. He was mostly stone cold, but sometimes he would flinch, or his voice sounded exceptionally smooth. Snape tested the potion, and it seemed they really did make a good one._

_"As I said, we certainly did it," he turned to see her, and she clapped in her joy._

_"We make a good team, Sev," she said, now stepping closer to him._

_"Obviously," his tone was deep, but his voice cracked a bit when she took another step._

_"I thought you'll never admit it," she almost whispered, taking another step closer. Snape frowned. She did some strange things before, but this was too much for him. Even though he didn't admit it to her, and he decided to hide it as best as he could, he couldn't hide the effect her closeness had on him. He gasped once, not being able to stop it. She took another step, and she was now so close. She stood completely straightened, and her breasts almost touched his chest. Snape looked down on her, not sure what was happening._

_"Stop denying yourself, Sev," she whispered, as he felt her breath on his neck. A strange sensation flown through his body, but he was frozen, and unable to say anything. Speechless. Left speechless by her for the third time._

_Gwen got even closer, pressing her body to his, lifting her head, brushing his lips with hers. He didn't even flinch, or move away, but his breath trembled and she felt it right on her lips. In that moment, she decided to kiss him. She closed her eyes and pressed her lips on his. Her lips were so soft that he couldn't resist but to kiss her back. It was one kiss. One brief kiss. She removed her lips from his, opening her eyes, expecting to see him terrified. But he wasn't. His eyes were already opened, and he looked at her surprised, but the tension was too obvious._

_"I shouldn't…" Gwen wanted to apologise._

"Wait, wait, wait…" Tonks interrupted Gwen's story for the first time. "You kissed him first?"

"I told you not to interrupt me if you want to hear the whole story!" Gwen exclaimed, and continued.

_The lack of his reaction made her believe he doesn't really feel like her at all. But he interrupted her by grabbing her by her waist with his right arm, tangling the left one in her half-tied hair. He pulled her close suddenly, and kissed her. But that kiss was much more than the one before. He took the complete lead, and she let him. Her left hand rested on his right upper arm, and her right palm was now on his cheek. The sensation of the kiss broke free all of the tension that piled up in both of them. She deepened the kiss, by parting his mouth with her tongue. He let her do that, and was again overwhelmed by the sensation she brought to him. The taste of her tongue made him crazy, so his hand clutched her hair harder. He made a few steps towards her, and she followed him, not breaking the kiss. He pinned her to the small potion cabinet that stood right behind her. As he did that, the vials fell down from shelves, breaking loudly._

_However, that didn't distract them even for a second. The kiss was now more passionate and intense, but she took the lead, pushing him a bit, then switching positions, but she pinned him to a wall instead. His hand was still stuck in her hair, but the other one roamed her sides gently, but passionately at the same time. She took ahold of the buttons of his shirt, and unbuttoned first few. But then he stopped her, breaking the kiss suddenly._

" _Wait," he gasped, trying to catch some breath. Gwen didn't know what was going on. Why would he kiss her like that if he didn't want to do something more about it. "Are you sure you want to do this?"_

" _What kind of question is that?" Gwen frowned at him, letting go of his buttons._

" _Look…" Snape tried to find the words._

" _Don't complicate things with words for now," Gwen put the finger on his lips, and he did remain silent. He pulled her closer again, and kissed her with even more passion than before. Both of his hands now roamed her sides, and back, going even lower. Her hands were once again busy with his buttons. She unbuttoned a few more buttons, and she finally felt the feeling of his bare skin on her fingers. He flinched a bit when he felt her hand on his chest, as his hand flew to her hair again, and the other one under her jumper, caressing her back. Both of them knew it would be wiser if they talked, but decided not to think about that for a moment. Or an hour. She hung her hands around his neck, and that was his cue. He wrapped her in his arms, lifting her up, now carrying her into his bedroom._

_He placed her in his unusually big king size bed, and she pulled him down with her. They tried their best not to break the kiss, as she got a hold of his shirt again, letting him out of it. In seconds, both of them were naked. And in a few more seconds they crossed the line of friendship, both of them aware they could never come back from this._

"Oh… my… I can't," Tonks said, and chugged the tequila from the bottle without any salt or lemon. Her face turned into a grimace from the strong liquor, and she couldn't believe what she just heard. Severus Snape had sex. With Gwen. In Hogwarts! Gwen took the bottle from Tonks' hand, and chugged it.

"Yes, true story, Tonks. Want to make sure? I saw a pensieve…"

"No, no, I'm sorry, but I really don't want to see… Oh my… But you're not together. What happened?"

"The morning after?" Gwen burst into laughter. "I chose not to involve myself with him."

"I'm sorry, but after this story…"

"Yes, well..." Gwen continued her story.

_The morning after was exceptionally sunny, considering the snow storm that was raging whole night. And that wasn't the only thing that went on for the whole night. Gwen woke up alone in bed, covered with warm, soft, Slytherin green sheets. She noticed that the bedroom door was opened, and she took a glance of Snape sitting by the fireplace, now completely dressed. Gwen moaned, and he flinched. In seconds, he was by his bed._

" _Morning," she said with a smile, and for once he returned one without hesitation._

" _I brought something to eat, if you're hungry," he said softly, sitting on the bed._

" _I'm not, but I hoped I wouldn't wake up in an empty bed after the night we had," Gwen commented with a devilish spark in her eyes. Both of them never imagined the night turning in what happened. But neither of them were displeased, or ashamed of what happened._

" _Sorry, I woke up three hours ago, and couldn't stay in bed. And the night…"_

" _Was something, right?" Gwen now sat to, wrapped in sheets because she was still naked under it._

" _Yes, but we have to talk about this. And I can't be focused with you naked. In my bed," he lifted one of his eyebrows, and she rolled her eyes._

" _And they say women always want to talk," Gwen stood up, and picked up his cloaked robes from the floor, wrapping it around herself. He wasn't so amused with that as she was, but didn't say a thing._

" _Listen, Gwen…" he looked down now, not knowing what he actually wants to say._

" _You're regretting it?" Gwen asked him directly, since that was her only concern; that he'll regret it._

" _Well, no. But I'm not quite sure what do you want from this," he moved his hand between them. Both of them were standing now, and Gwen took her defensive state, crossing her arms on her chest._

" _What do you want?" she asked him._

" _What I want, and what I can are two different things," Snape said flatly. And then it came to Gwen._

" _Of course… Lily," she sighed. "Well, Sev, it's quite simple."_

" _Believe me it's not. If it was, I would do something about it long time ago," Snape scoffed at Gwen._

" _So what are you telling me?"_

" _I don't know, but I… Look, you are… I can't even describe how exquisite you are…"_

" _But I'm not her. And if you are thinking about this after the night we had, I guess that's my answer," Gwen said a bit offended, but she did understand him. Maybe that wasn't what she was hoping for, but he was honest. And now he was silent._

" _Look, Sev, either you want to be with me or not. There is no something in between. But if you want that, and you're willing to make this work…"_

" _I want, but I can't, and that's the problem," Snape was still staring at the floor, not wanting to see Gwen disappointed._

" _If you want me, then I should be the first. Not her. I'm not jealous, and look at me now," she stepped closer to him, and lifted his head with her hands. "I'm not jealous of her, but I can't be a replacement. If you want this to work, then I have to be the first on your mind, and in your heart. Can you do that?"_

" _I'm sorry, but I don't think I can," Snape whispered, and grabbed her hands, not removing them from his face, but just holding them. "But I want this."_

" _I do too, but not in that way. You don't have to apologise to me for not feeling the same thing as I do," she smiled weakly at him._

" _I do, Gwen, are you not paying any attention? I do… feel, whatever it is. But it's not fair to you. I don't want to hurt you, because I can't control what else I feel. And at some point you would be hurt. You deserve better than that."_

" _I agree. And you do too," she leaned, and kissed him again. He did kiss her back, even though he thought about not doing so. "We can't pretend that something is possible if it's not. You'll never kiss me like you would kiss her. I'm sorry, but I can't do that."_

" _I shouldn't ever let…"_

" _No. You and I both wanted that yesterday. And I'm not sorry it happened. It just proved what is the real state of things. It's better this way, before I fall head over heels for you," she pulled another weak smile._

" _You think you…"_

" _After what we did last night, I would most definitely. But it wouldn't be the same. We wouldn't be equal, and it would drive both of us mental," she concluded._

" _So now what?" he asked nervously._

" _Friends?"_

" _I'm sorry, but I can't be your friend after this," he said flatly._

_"Hah! We'll see about that," Gwen said, and hang herself around his neck._

Tonks was now curled on the couch, with her jaw hanging open in surprise.

"This is just… Wow," Tonks managed to say.

"Yes, well… Now you know," Gwen said matter-of-factly.

"I lost so many bets because of you! And I can't say this to anyone!"

"Tonks, you promised!

"I won't but, G…" Tonks fell silent for a second. "Was he… like good?"

"I'm sorry?"

"You know… did he shag you well? Like brainless?"

Gwen felt her cheeks getting pinker in seconds. She wasn't blushing through that whole story, but this question made her blush so hard.

"Oh my… HE WAS!" Tonks jumped suddenly, and fell from the couch. Alcohol brought her down hard. She quickly sat again.

"Well, I definitely can't say he wasn't," Gwen smiled now at Tonks.

"Now I want to know more, even though I don't want to know more. So… Tell me more!" Tonks now again looked at Gwen all interested.

That talk turned into a heated conversation about their ex-sexual partners. It was one of the most interesting drunk conversations both of them ever had. They didn't even hear the howl Remus made right after his transformation. It was half past 3 in the morning, when Tonks got the idea.

"Oh, let's barge into their rooms. I bet Remus has more of some precious records, and I always wanted to know what Sirius hid in his room," Tonks said excitedly.

"Well, mostly himself. And if I was in my right mind, I would definitely say no, but since I'm most certainly not, I say… Yes!"

"That's the spirit," Tonks said, and they ran drunkly to Remus' room since it was closer. Both of them tripped a couple of dozen times, but they didn't care. They laughed it off, and Kreacher cursed him under his breath. They didn't care about that either.

Remus' room was quite tidy, except his desk, which was full with papers, and books. Gwen almost instantly started rummaging his books, and Tonks laughed at that, while she looked his record collection.

"No way! He has the whole _Zeppelin_ discography, and _the Stones_ … _the Who_ , and oh… _Deep Purple_. _AC DC_. And I guess this is some of that boring jazz stuff," she sighed, and placed the records back, noticing his closet was opened.

"Oh my…" Tonks' drunk brain managed to comprehend what she was looking at. His wardrobe was half-empty. He had some suits, a few of tumbled down robes, and a few of those cardigans hanging there. "Fucking Dolores Umbridge!" Tonks cursed out loud because she knew that it was her legislation that made Remus poorer than before, and that it ruined his chances of getting a normal job.

"What happened?" Gwen flinched, but she didn't really figure why Tonks cursed.

"Oh, nothing…" Tonks decided not to talk about Remus financial status now. She grabbed one of his cardigans, not knowing it was his favourite one. "This is so soft!"

"Try it on!" Gwen teased her. "Oh don't be shy! He'll never know!"

Tonks didn't need to hear that twice, as she put the cardigan on. It smelt like him too; green tea, chocolate, and books. Old books. And rain.

"Looking good!" Gwen exclaimed, as she stood by the opened drawer. "But I think you would like this more!"

Gwen pulled washed out _Led Zeppelin_ shirt from the drawer. It was grey, and worn a lot, but it was funny to think about Remus wearing it.

"I. Literally. Can't. Imagine." Tonks was now having the shirt in her hands.

"Him in that? Me too! Never! That's a nice dare for him, you know," Gwen wiggled her eyebrows. Tonks suddenly thought about how cute Remus was when he wore that shirt. The nerdy boy turning into a bad rocker one. Remus to Moony.

"I agree! But I like this cardigan more!" Tonks hugged herself in the oversized cardigan. "Let's see what Sirius has in his room!"

They were in Sirius' room in a matter of seconds. Tonks played with his motorcycle models, and was amused by the posters on his wall. However, Gwen got ahold of Sirius' old leather jacket. Remus was keeping it safe in his cottage until the day they moved in Grimmauld Place. The leather was a bit cracked, but the jacket was still in good shape. Gwen put it on, and whistled, so Tonks looked at her.

"Wow! Rock n roll Gwenie! Tonks likes!" Tonks exclaimed with her thumbs in the air.

"You think it suits me? I never wore things like that before," Gwen looked at herself in the mirror.

"Oh please, with your looks, you can be dressed in a combination of a potato and rubbish sack, and you would still look stunning," Tonks said, winking at Gwen, who replied with a smiled. "Now let's dance some more!"

They got back into the drawing room, still in Remus' and Sirius' clothes. Tonks grabbed one of _the Who_ records from Remus' room, and now they danced and jumped all across the room. Both of them were still quite drunk, and energy filled. However, around six in the morning, they called quits, and returned the clothes where it belonged. They got to Gwen's room to talk some more.

"G, I must confess something," Tonks said quietly.

"Spill it!"

"I think you're right… I think I do fancy Remus a bit," Tonks sighed.

"A bit? You smelt that sweater like your life depends on it."

"All right… But I don't know what to do," Tonks was now sounding so sad.

"For that kind of advice, I need a clear head. So, ask me in the morning. Or better yet, sometime around dinner tomorrow," Gwen said, feeling so victorious. She was right after all. All of it was too much for that night. They fell asleep on Gwen's bed shortly after that, both curled up.

* * *

When Remus and Sirius woke up in the morning, two hours after the girls went to sleep, they got out of the basement immediately. However, Remus didn't let Sirius get away with his avoiding of an answer.

"So, what will you do with Gwen?" Remus asked him, as they walked through the dining room.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Sirius said again.

"Well, deny it all you want, but I'll keep asking you until I get the answer," Remus said trying to annoy Sirius on purpose.

"Oh great, just what I needed," Sirius scoffed sarcastically.

They noticed the drawing room door being opened, and took a peek at it. They noticed some of the precious Black vases smashed on the floor, along with the tequila, lemons, and salt on the table. The pictures that hung on the walls were crooked, and Remus noticed his record player and records near it.

"What happened here?" Remus asked a bit shocked.

"I think they got so trashed they trashed the place too. Let's find them. They must've been here somewhere passed out. Oh mate, I'll give them hell when they woke up," Sirius rubbed his hands with a mischievous grin on his face.

Remus gave him the look, but didn't say anything, heading to see if Tonks' is in her room. And to his surprise, she wasn't. And they weren't in a library too. Both Sirius and Remus were confused. They found them shortly after that, still curled in Gwen's bed. Much to their surprised.

"What the hell happened here tonight?" Sirius asked, but Remus just shrugged, as they the room as quietly as they could.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really don't have a lot to say after this chapter. The bomb is dropped, and can't be taken back.
> 
> Hope you liked it, and don't forget to let me know what you think.
> 
> Next one won't be so juicy, though, but it will be up soon!
> 
> Don't forget there are a lot of questions that still need to be answered.
> 
> Love you all, xx


	18. The Green-Eyed Monster

_16_ _th_ _of October 1995_

Gwen was sitting quietly in the dining room, having a cup of coffee, and reading the newspaper. It was Monday morning, and Tonks was on her mission, so Gwen asked Remus to accompany her to the Diagon Alley. She had to visit Gringotts, and while they're there, she intended to do some shopping. She wasn't forbidden from leaving the house, but Snape insisted she doesn't leave the house alone. Not wanting to argue with him, Gwen agreed, and Remus agreed to escort her. She was waiting him to wake up, so they could go. But Sirius was the one who woke up first, and entered the dining room with his robes open, only in his training trousers.

"Morning sunshine," he said cheerfully, and stretched while he walked into the kitchen.

"Morning. Slept well, I presume," Gwen took a glance of Sirius when he turned his back, not giving him the obvious attention.

"In fact, I did," he yelled from the kitchen, while he was making himself some coffee too. He noticed eggs, sausages, warm bread, and a few tomatoes waiting for him on a plate. "This for me?"

"Yes, and the other plate is for Remus," Gwen said, flipping the pages of the newspapers. "You haven't told me you went to Camden! It says here in _the Prophet_ that you were spotted buying purple wigs in Camden."

"Oh, I haven't told you? I decided to join the circus. Then I got there and figured that I already live in one. Shapeshifters, seers, werewolves, you see what I mean?" he teased her, as he placed his breakfast an coffee on the table, and sat on his usual chair.

"Remus awake?" Gwen asked, ignoring Sirius' joke.

"Yes, he's taking a shower. He seems a bit blue. I'm sure I heard that soft, depressing blues music from his room," Sirius said, as he started cutting his meal, and eating. Gwen chuckled.

"He misses her, that's so cute," Gwen squealed, and Sirius laughed under his breath at her.

"But I don't think they'll get together any time soon," Sirius sighed.

"Why so? They fancy each other, and Remus is totally in love!"

"Yes, but… I know Moony. He needs time. Believe me, no matter how direct she is with him, he'll be reserved. He is all cheery around her, but he's still one insecure git," Sirius explained, and was right.

"Well, I don't see that anyone is hurrying anything here, so I don't think there is a reason to worry. Plus, I mean what do we have to do for the whole days in here anyway? We can just think about the ways to make them both admit their feelings," Gwen concluded, and closed the newspapers, now looking at Sirius. "I'll try to cheer him up today. And if everything fails, I'll buy him a bunch of those chocolates Tonks always brings him."

Sirius laughed at her idea, but remained silent, and continued with his breakfast. Remus joined soon after, looking rather good. He wasn't pale at all, and he walked straight, not slouching even for a bit.

"Morning," he said, and went to get his tea, and breakfast. He sat in his usual spot, across from Gwen, and to Sirius' right. He was quite hungry, so he started eating immediately.

"Morning, Moony," Gwen said calmly. "You eat, and we're out, right?"

"Mhm," Remus murmured while chewing.

"It's not fair! Everyone can leave, except me," Sirius pouted sadly. He really was sad to know that he'll be alone here. Of course, there is Buckbeak, but that's nothing compared to Gwen and Remus, or Tonks.

"We'll bring you something," Gwen said, and smiled at him sadly. She knew how eager Sirius was to leave this house. He was locked up for so long, that all he wanted was freedom. Nothing more, and nothing less. Just pure freedom.

"That makes it only slightly better. It's still terrible being here alone," Sirius sighed.

"I reckon we won't be out for that long," Remus said between his bites.

"Well, we'll see," Gwen said, and stood up, heading to her room.

"Not fair, I would really love to go. I could go as Snuffles! Come on, Moony, if you're on my side, she'll cave sooner or later," Sirius was persistent, but Remus couldn't be coaxed into this idea.

"I know, Padfoot, but it's too dangerous for now. We can't risk you getting caught. Kingsley is doing a really hard work in not having you outed," Remus said, not lifting his look from the plate. Sirius grunted with displeasure. He hated when he was wrong, or denied like that.

"Fine, I'll stay here alone. The Order's housekeeper, and the biggest fool," he scoffed.

"You can't guilt trip me," Remus sighed. "And I think you could hardly guilt trip Gwen."

"Humph," Sirius grunted again, not saying anything. He gave up easily because he didn't see the point in saying anything else. They continued their breakfast in peace, joking about various things. Gwen joined them, and after Remus ate his breakfast, and drank his tea, they stood up to leave. Gwen was now standing in the hallway in her faux fur black coat, with her hair braided in a braid that rounded her face, and swirled in the back of her head. She chose to wear high heeled boots which made her lean figure look even leaner. Remus took out his best coat, the one he usually wore when he had an important meeting. Yet he felt like a beggar next to Gwen. Sirius looked at them, and almost burst into laughter. They were so different that they even looked suspicious. If the Death Eaters see them, they will be recognised for sure.

"You sure your attire is all right?" he said with a scoff.

"Yes, because even if someone does see me, they won't do anything. And besides, Sev thinks it's better for them to see me from time to time. That way I'm not all that suspicious," Gwen said, smiling softly at Sirius. Her face was covered in make up, and Sirius couldn't gather his thoughts because he was stunned with how beautiful she looked. Like she is a delicate flower, a princess in need of protection. Since he couldn't accompany her, Sirius was happy that Remus could.

"Right, then…" he stood nervously at the entrance. Remus made a step, and opened the door to let Gwen go first. She did, and they now stood on the first step of Grimmauld Place's porch.

"Oh… wait a second…" Gwen stormed into the house again. Sirius was just walking down the hallway with his hands in his pockets, his long hair hanging from his lowered head.

"Gwen, did you forget something?" he turned, and looked at her surprised. She ran a bit to be right in front of him, and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"I'll be back soon, cheer up a bit, will you?" Gwen said before she left the house again. Remus waited for her on the first step, looking at her suspiciously.

"Walk or apparition?" he asked her.

"Walk, I could really use a walk," she said, and hooked her arm on the inside of Remus' elbow. They walked like that, discussing the places they've both been to. Gwen really liked Paris, even though it held the hardest memory for her. Remus, however, didn't like it that much. All the love motives in the city made him melancholic too much, and that's why he left it after only a couple of weeks. He just couldn't bear being reminded about something he'll never have.

"It's funny how you say that, and again, I'm sure some fair lady would be happy to have a boyfriend like you," Gwen commented, and Remus felt his cheeks turning red. He wasn't used to getting compliments, and certainly not from a woman hanging from his arm.

"Hardly doubt that, Gwen," he said flatly, trying to remain calm.

"You do, but I don't. In fact, I'm 100 percent sure there is at least one lady interested in you," Gwen teased, wanting to see his reaction. Of course, his thoughts were focused on Tonks, and Tonks only. However, he was confused by Gwen's words.

"I wouldn't be on your place. Only if Molly is thinking about leaving Arthur for me," he laughed under his breath. "She is often friendly towards me."

"Mhm, and I'm sure you firstly thought of Molly Weasley," Gwen muttered under her breath, but Remus understood her. However, he pretended not to.

"I'm sorry?"

"Nothing, nothing," Gwen said. "I'm just sure you could get a girl if you wanted to, you know?"

"Gwen, I appreciate your effort of trying to make me feel better, but I made my peace with being alone, and I hardly doubt anyone would like to be with a poor, middle-aged werewolf." Remus sighed sadly because he couldn't make himself forget Tonks.

"Well, when you put it that way it doesn't sound that good, but if you put your good qualities first… That's what I'm talking about," Gwen shook her head.

"No point in polishing the truth, Gwen. I wouldn't feel comfortable with that, either way," he said matter-of-factly, and looked at her.

"Right, right," Gwen sighed in defeat. It was obvious Remus wouldn't say anything, so why bother? "So, after Gringotts we'll stop by some shops. Do you need anything, perhaps?"

"No… No, I don't," that was a lie, but Remus didn't have the money to spend it on trinkets now, even though he would love to get a few books, and a pair of better robes for the winter.

Gwen was quick with her Gringotts visit. The bank was barely empty, and she didn't like the looks Goblins gave her. Remus felt even more uncomfortable, because they looked at him with disgusted faces. Both of them wanted to leave the building, as soon as possible.

"Well, that was so fun that I in fact think we should never do it again," Gwen commented laughing, as they left the building.

"They looked at both of us like we were their mortal enemies. Usually, they only look at me like that. So, thank you!" Remus joked, sharing a laugh

"Yes, well… they had to count, and list everything at my father's, and my family's vault multiple times because of me not wanting to claim the inheritance. I think they were just preparing to claim it for themselves, when I came in, and ruined their pay day," Gwen said sounding amused.

"Well, you at least have a catchy story. They hate me because I guess they sense it, you know," he sighed.

"I'm sorry to say that, but you're right. They indeed do sense…" she stopped to look around herself.

"Don't say it, we both know what you mean," Remus interrupted her.

"All right, well, yes… Goblins can sense that quite easily. You see, they have an intense smell sense, and you smell differently to them," she said firmly.

"How do you know that? I've never read something similar to that," Remus was confused.

"Well, my mother, of course," Gwen smiled at him, and entered _Flourish and Blotts_. Remus followed her, but once they were in the store they parted ways. Remus went to look for some defensive magic books for Harry's teaching group. He thought those would be quite useful to him, but he didn't have any money to buy them. And he didn't talk to Sirius about that, and Sirius never mentioned it. Remus was still uncomfortable talking about his money problems with Sirius because Sirius had so much, and couldn't spend it even if he wanted to, and Remus couldn't even gather the money he needed for his basic living needs. He was now focused on the book, not noticing Gwen lurking behind him.

"Wow, if I knew you needed books about defensive magic, maybe I would've waited for Tonks," Gwen teased him, even though she guessed why was he looking at those.

"Oh, ha-ha," Remus faked a sarcastic laugh. "I was thinking about Harry, and his group… He is particularly gifted with defensive spells, and offensive ones too. However, I really think he could use some guidance. I was thin…"

"Remus, give me the book," Gwen said, but he didn't listen to her. "Fine."

She got one of the copies of the same book Remus read.

"Gwen…"

"What? I haven't bought him anything for his… birthday?" Gwen tried to turn the situation from being uncomfortable for Remus to being at least bit funny.

"Yes, but…"

"No buts… Besides, if you ever mentioned this to Padfoot, I guess he would tell us to do this. So, don't make such a drama out of me buying a one bloody book," Gwen said resolutely, and turned to give what she picked to the witch at the registry. Remus looked at her, and didn't know what to say. She really was a true Ravenclaw, always creative with the answers, and the plans.

They left the bookshop, and strolled down the street, watching through the shop windows. Remus stood in front of the second hand robes store, and looked at the robe on a mannequin. Gwen was, however, looking at some brand new ones in the shop across. But, she noticed how Remus looked at prices of pieces presented in the window. His fists clenched in his pockets, because he knew he wouldn't be able to afford something like this in the next few months. And with his stakeouts with Tonks, he would really need a better coat. Gwen reached Remus.

"You sure you don't need anything?" Gwen asked him, giving him the chance to say what's on his mind.

"No, no… I don't," Remus was a bit embarrassed to admit what was bothering him.

"Hm… You fancy those robes?" she asked him, pointing to the brown robes he looked through the window.

"Well, I do, but I can't buy them," Remus smiled weakly. "It's not important, Gwen, really."

"Humph," Gwen grunted displeased with Remus lying to her. Although, she did understand he was embarrassed, and Sirius told her he'll never ask for help. The plan made itself in her head. "Well, then let's head to the apothecary to get my supplies, and I need some new quills and ink. In fact, we all do since there isn't any in the house."

"Oh… right," Remus murmured.

"I stole the last one you had, don't worry you're getting a new one too," Gwen said smiling at him. They did the rest of the shopping chatting about various topics. Even though Remus liked talking to Sirius, getting away from the house was something completely different. And he was feeling better with being out, and joke with a person he considered a friend. In this short time, Gwen really proved to be a great friend, and Remus was grateful for her help, and for having her around.

"I'll meet Sev there," she pointed her finger at the meeting place. "Want to wait with me, or you're heading home?"

"Wait, wait, wait… Snape is coming here?" Remus asked confused, he expected to get back home with Gwen, just like they left.

"Yes, well… I need something from Hogwarts, and he agreed to accompany me. I would've asked you, but I know how bad you feel about leaving that place, and I didn't want…" "Don't explain yourself, Gwen, it's fine. You didn't tell this to Sirius?" Remus asked because he was really interested in hearing Gwen's reasoning.

"I didn't, but I will explain everything later. And, now I can deliver the book to Harry without it being seen by Umbridge," Gwen said boldly. "Two flies, one hit!"

"You really thought it through," Remus smirked. "I'll wait with you, of course. And give me everything you've bought, I'll bring it to Grimmaulds."

Gwen handed him her bags, even though he already carried some of them anyway.

"Thank you, Remus," she smiled at him, and Remus was in fact glad to hear Sirius didn't know about Gwen's meeting with Snape. He could see his honest reaction this way, and mock Sirius into admitting his feeling finally. Remus decided to remind him every day with something simple. "Oh, here's Sev."

Snape approached them with his snarky face expression, looking like his usual self.

"Hello, Gwen, Lupin," he greeted them. Remus nodded in acknowledgment.

"I'll see you later Gwen. Severus," Remus said his goodbye, and headed to the Grimmaulds.

"Shall we?" Snape asked.

"One more thing, and then we can go wherever you want," Gwen smiled.

"I really doubt that," Snape murmured under his breath, and Gwen didn't hear that comment. She, however, went back to the second hand robes store, and bought the robes Remus was watching. He wouldn't admit it ever, and he really needed better robes. She already made a plan of giving them to him, giving him a few months to pay her back, because she expected his protests.

"You're now shopping for Lupin?" Snape noticed.

"In fact, yes. It's called being a good friend, Sev," Gwen brushed him off.

"I am a good friend when I want to be," Snape scoffed at her.

"Can't argue with that," Gwen said, and hooked herself on Snape's arm.

"Ready?" he asked her.

"Yes," she squeezed his upper arm, and he apparated them right on the top of the Astronomy tower.

* * *

Remus got home shortly after he parted ways with Gwen. He was now really interested in Sirius reaction when he hears that Gwen left with Snape. He left Gwen's bags in the dining room, and found Sirius in Buckbeak's room.

"Hey… I'm back," Remus greeted him from the door.

"Hi… wait, what do you mean you're back? Where is Gwen?" Sirius asked, frowning.

"Oh, she had a meeting with Snape. Didn't she mention that earlier?" Remus said with a stone cold face. Sirius flinched with the news. He didn't like them. He surely didn't like them.

"No, she didn't," he gritted through his teeth.

"Oh, is that jealousy I hear in your voice?" Remus asked mockingly.

"No, I have no reason to be jealous of Snivellus," Sirius scoffed at Remus.

"Oh sure… Except he is with the woman you fancy right now, while you're here."

"Well, I can't be anywhere else, even if I wanted to, could I?" Sirius gritted his teeth again.

"Ahh… So you're still in denial? You say I'm stubborn, and what not, but I at least admit to myself what I feel, no matter how wrong itis," Remus said, stuffed his hands into his pockets, and left Sirius alone. A bit of shock therapy. Maybe just what he needs.

Remus got into his room, taking his robes off. Today he was on prophecy night duty, since Tonks wasn't there, and Hestia had a day off. He took one of the stacked books from his table, and laid on his stomach across the bed. He didn't manage to read two pages, when he noticed a jack rabbit patronus jumping outside, entering his room, and now jumping in front of him. Tonks.

" _This is such a drag. I have a surprise for you, though. Can't wait to be back, see you soon!"_

Her voice filled the room, and Remus' soul too. He was instantly overwhelmed, with a strange sensation in his chest. It was true he was gloomy lately, but as soon as he heard her voice he felt much better. Like he was somehow recharged. The jack rabbit disappeared with a really quiet poof, and Remus smiled, looking at the place it last stood. He thought about what is he supposed to do now. Should he send her a message too? He couldn't send her his corporeal patronus, because she would definitely hate him, but he could send the non-corporeal one. Or maybe he should remain silent? Remus chose not to make the same mistake as he did the last time, so he waved his wand and conjured non-corporeal patronus.

"Hmm… find Nymphadora Tonks, and tell her that now I'm really interested in a surprise she has, and that I'll see her soon," he moved his wand, and the patronus was sent. The feeling of embarrassment slowly took over his thoughts, as he was thinking about his awful patronus, and how Tonks will now think of him as incapable of producing one. Oh well, just another few things with which he could disappoint her. He guessed it's better that way, and focused again on the book in front of him. But his thought's became too much, and the room started to feel like it's suffocating him. Remus thoughts were somewhere between denying Tonks' opinion meant that much to him, and self-loathing. He got up quickly, and looked over the room. There are so many things to break in there. Remus knew he needed to remain calm, so he decided to take a shower. A cold one.

In Buckbeak's room, Sirius sat on the floor, leaned on Buckbeak's wing. He had a couple of game dice in his hand, and he played with them lost in his thoughts. He felt depressed oftenly, and really only needed to get out of this house. In the house, he felt like his mother was strangling him all the time, only sometimes she would loosen up the grip around his neck. He never wanted to get back here, and now it became a new prison of his. Only this time, he had Remus and Gwen here full-time, and Tonks occasionally slept over. He thought about taking a walk through Hyde Park, and not as a dog. Breathing the fresh air, feeling the smell of grass, and rain. Nothing he could do inside of this house could ever make him feel that fulfilled, and that was a cruel fact he lived every day.

Sometimes he felt like he was losing his mind, even more than when he was in Azkaban. In Azkaban, he knew he was losing his mind, so he could focus on trying not to lose it completely. Here, he should be better. He should feel better. But the sadness in him grew bigger with every day. The anniversary of James' and Lily's death was so close now, and the feeling was getting heavier and heavier. It was like that every year, but since Harry found out the truth, Sirius felt the obligation to protect him again. And that made him even more tense, and anxious. The fact he can't do anything really to help Harry annoyed him to the point of breaking.

He rolled the dice, and they showed two sixes. The biggest score. He scoffed at it, because nothing in his life was a score really. He lost most of the things he loved, and so much death, and betrayal left a wound that kept pinching. But it pinched less when she was here… Sirius hated Remus mocking him about Gwen, because he never thought about her in the way Remus was implying. But since he mentioned it, he gave it a thought, and noticed he really feels less miserable when she is around. Sharing a glass of firewhiskey with her, talking about hers, or his favourite things, memories, or thoughts they had. He liked how natural he felt when he was with her. With Remus, he tried to act more like Sirius Remus knew. But sometimes, he wasn't all fun and jokes. And Gwen saw right though that. Remus did too, but he decided to not ask, because he doubted Sirius wants to talk about it. Both of them gave each other space in that way, and Sirius knew he could always talk to Remus. But when it came to this, he didn't really want to. Not because he didn't trust him, but because he didn't want Remus to feel bad because of him.

But Gwen was now with Snape. Somewhere. Alone, probably. He noticed they are suspiciously close, even closer he thought at the beginning. At the last meeting, he noticed them leaving the room together, hand in hand. Well, not really hand in hand, but Sirius saw it like that. Gwen was holding Severus hand as he led them out of the room. Sirius couldn't deny feeling possessive. Why does he touch her like that? He shouldn't even look at her. He is snarky, and scummy, and she is everything opposite. And he saw how occasionally Snape would put his hand on the small of Gwen's back, if she was in front of him. Those things made Sirius feel like he would punch Snape right in the face, without even regretting it. However, it seemed Gwen didn't mind, so it's not all Snape's fault, really. And the next thought that came was that Gwen indeed likes Snape, and it made him feel sick. Not because of Snape, but because of the thought of Gwen with him. Was that really just jealousy?

He rolled the dice again, getting two ones. Great, almost nothing. That's what he felt like. Like almost nothing. He was still here, feeling, but he was useless. His birthday was close too, and somehow he didn't want to remind anybody about it, but he still wanted people to remember. Sirius was sure Remus will remember it for sure, but he didn't expect any present, though. Whatever happened, the 3rd of November became the anniversary of Lily's and James' funeral, not his birthday. He didn't feel like cheering, or anything. He felt guilty he was still alive, and they weren't. He felt wrong. And to celebrate on that day would make him feel even more wrong.

However, Sirius couldn't deny he was hoping to at least get some birthday treats from Gwen. He really did like her cooking, and he enjoyed spending time with her learning how to cook. At first, Gwen didn't let him join her while she was preparing food, because he would usually do something to, or with it, that wasn't supposed to be done. Sirius was sure Kreacher almost died from a stroke when he caught him cooking just the other day. It wasn't something he ever thought he would do, and really like to do. Gwen agreed on teaching him hwo to make some simple things, and her only condition was that he doesn't ask too many questions. And Sirius wasn't the one to keep silent, usually, but he liked listening to Gwen's instructions carefully. He liked watching her making potions, too. She was so focused while doing so, that she wouldn't even notice him looking at her from the doorstep. He was less socially anxious than before, but he would still feel too insecure to start a conversation sometimes, or to maintain one to be pleasant.

Sirius thought about what would he be doing now, if they really captured Peter that night. He would be a free man. He could do whatever he would want to. And he instantly thought about Gwen, walking in the Hyde park with him, eating too sweet cotton candy, and smiling at him. Last time he had thoughts like this, was when he decided to be with Marlene for real. And that scared him. The relationship he had with Marlene was shorter than a time they chased each other. He wanted to goof around, and wasn't ready to be in a serious relationship. But shortly after they finished Hogwarts, and when the war started, on the Led Zeppelin concert they attended, he asked Marlene if he wants to be his girlfriend. James and Remus mocked him about being so formal, but Sirius had his reasons. He wanted to prove himself to Marlene. He wanted to prove her he really wants to be with her, and only her.

They got together occassionally before that. She was the first girl he ever slept with, and he was her first, too. Sirius often remembered how flustered both of them were, and how they avoided each other for weeks after that. When Lily, and Remus finally sat them down together to discuss what was going on, they agreed on not starting a serious relationship. He wasn't into that, and at that time he was much more interested in motorcycles, or making even bigger mischief than ever. They were in their sixth year when that happened, and in his seventh year, Sirius became a player. He managed to get only in casual relationships, nothing serious, ever. Marlene and him hooked up a few times, only to fulfil their sexual tensions and urges. Sometimes, Sirius felt like they tested their relationship. If they felt something during those nights, they would wordlessly agree to respect their previous agreement. And since they did every time, their agreement went on.

A year after they left Hogwarts, and after Sirius had a long run of casual relationships, living his best bachelor life, watching James and Lily together, made him think about Marlene. They got married in Spring of 1979, and on the day of their wedding, James told Sirius some things that made him think about Marlene even more. It took him a couple of months to gather up the courage to ask her if she still wants to try something real with him. It was around three years since they firstly got together, and they started a real relationship. Sirius was surprised how much that kind of relationship actually made him feel. With Marlene, he felt relaxed, and soon enough she became someone who really could make his days better even without doing something special.

They eventually moved in together in Sirius' house he bought with his uncle's inheritance. He liked living with her because she wasn't complicated, and she was very neat, so she oftenly cleaned around. He didn't really do anything, and wasn't even feeling like he was supposed to do something. They almost never fought. And even if they did, it wasn't something meaningful. The only exception was when they talked about the war. Marlene was afraid for her family, and Sirius felt like she is being overdramatic. The sad truth was that Marlene was indeed right to be scared, and Sirius was just being too confident, and hot-headed to see that.

In the beginning of 1981 they broke up. Marlene became too anxious, and tense because of the raging war, Potters were already into hiding, Sirius started to doubt everything and everyone, so their relationship fell apart in all that. Sirius broke it off as soon as he noticed the big things changing, like he wanted to be alone more than to be with her. Or how she wasn't caring with him anymore, denying him of the soft touches, and cuddles he got used to. They agreed to remain friends, since they were friends long before their relationship, and for much longer than they were romantically involved. After Dorcas was murdered, Marlene went into hiding, and Sirius was one of the few persons she kept contact with.

Marlene, and her entire family, were murdered a few days before Harry's first birthday. Because of that, Sirius became even more paranoid. He started to doubt Remus even harder, and Remus was on his werewolf assignment. Then he didn't remember it, but now when he tumbled down his memories, he remembered how Marlene used to tell him not to be so rash, and doubtful. People often told him he was too rash, and even James liked to point that out. James, out of all people.

Suddenly, Sirius thought about what would James and Lily think about Gwen. James would like her quirkiness, for sure. Lily would most probably love her. Lily was as cynical as Gwen, and she loved cooking, so they would really have a lot to talk about. And both of them had a strange connection with Snape. Sirius always thought Snape was in love with Lily, and was right, even though that was never proven to him. How funny is it that now he thinks about Snape being in love with Gwen, and feeling his heart tightening in his chest?

Sirius sighed hard, and thrown his head backwards. Maybe Remus was right. Maybe he liked Gwen a bit too… Much? He could never not notice how pretty she is. Almost unbelievably pretty. Her hair was always so shiny, and bouncy. Her eyes sparkled even when she read the most boring book in the house. She would pursue her lips while she was concentrating hard on something, and he found that really interesting because people always told him he did that too. Gwen was closed person, not really comfortable with talking about something intimate, but when she did, she spoke clearly, and without hesitation. When she talked about things she was passionate about, she would involve all of herself into the story. For instance, when they talked about her love for Muggle cars, and his love about Muggle motorcycles, they didn't even notice Remus leaving the conversation he was never really a part of.

Gwen understood him. Sometimes he felt like she was somewhere inside of his mind, waiting for him to think about something, so she could know it right away. He even suspected of her enchanting him sometimes, because she would know exactly how he felt, or why he said what he said. He didn't know it then, but she felt the same way with him. She never had to explain something in details to him. He sometimes thought about some inappropriate things, just to test his theory, and Gwen has always been too calm to really be reading his mind. He couldn't deny he was attracted to her. A few times, he walked in on her taking a shower, accidentally. Even though he didn't see her naked because of the glass divider, he saw the outline of her body, and it made him feel tingles. When he found her knickers that day, he couldn't stop thinking about her in them. His comments, as funny, or goofy as they were, were also half-truth. And she was always smelling so nice, like plums and strawberries, and a bit of mint.

That was the smell he felt on his jacket just the other night. He noticed something different in his room after they found Tonks' and Gwen sleeping drunk in Gwen's bedroom. He didn't bother much, but a few days after he noticed his jacket smelling different. Smelling like Gwen. And the thought of Gwen in his jacket haunted his mind for a bit. He tried to imagine it, but really couldn't. Having a hippie mother made Gwen being hippie-like more than being a punk. She always asked Tonks to bring her flowers to decorate the house, and she always, ALWAYS was bare feet. Sirius couldn't understand that, but he got used to it, so he didn't even notice it anymore.

The thought of her spending time with Snape annoyed him more, and more, every time he thought about it. Maybe they'll take a walk all over the Hogwarts' lands. Or maybe Hogsmeade. The craziest thoughts flew through his mind, and he finally admitted to himself something he thought he never would; he was jealous. He was jealous of Severus Snape.

* * *

Meanwhile, Gwen and Snape walked through the Hogwarts corridors to reach his office, where they could talk in private. Gwen sent Snape a message she needs his help with getting into Hogwarts, but didn't really tell why. He was most curious to find out the reason behind her sudden wish to be there. She wanted to tell him right away, but he insisted on waiting until they go to his office. They walked in there in complete silence, and he locked the door. Gwen suddenly remembered all of the nights they worked together there, and she sat on his working table.

"I see you've left your manners at Grimmaulds," Snape commented.

"Don't act like I've never sat on your desk before, Sev," she answered to him with a matter-of-factly face expression.

"I don't have time for your nonsense now. I have a meeting, so will you tell me what do you want here?" Snape was impatient.

"Sorry, didn't want to interrupt your plans. And I'm not really sure how will you feel about what I have to say now," Gwen now stared at the stone floor, a bit scared of Snape's reaction. He rolled his eyes, and sighed.

"I'm listening. I've heard a bunch of questionable things from you this year, so I guess nothing could surprise me anymore," he scoffed at her.

"I need to get to the boathouse. Hagrid stored something there, and I came to collect it," Gwen said, trying to sound confident.

"Mhm," Snape said suspiciously. "And what is that? Is it even yours to collect?"

"It's not, but I will bring it back," Gwen smiled mischievously, trying to ease Snape.

"I know there are a lot of things stored there. And I don't even want to know what you're up to," Snape lost his patience. "Obviously it's something childish, and I can only presume Black has something to do with it."

"Actually, he has. You have a problem with it?" Gwen now pouted a bit, looking stern.

"As a matter of fact, I do. Plenty."

"Well, Sev, listen to me now. He is not a boy you used to know during your time at Hogwarts. Horrible things happened to him, and believe me he did his time thinking about every little thing he did wrong. You don't have to like him, but for God's sake, aren't you a bit too old for quarrelling with him pointlessly?" Gwen spat at Snape, and Snape was surprised with her little performance.

"Oh my… What do we have here. Another of Black charm victims," Snape mocked her.

"What the hell are you talking about now?" Gwen let out a loud breath.

"You're in love with him," Snape said flatly.

"I'm not, and even if I am, it doesn't concern you. If I remember right, right here we made it quite clear that will never happen," Gwen grew angry now. She was frustrated with how protective Snape was with her when it came to her meeting someone who could potentially become her partner. But he never made anything to change her mind about what happened the morning after they got together. "You made your choice, and I made mine. You can't expect me to…"

Gwen suddenly stopped when she realised what she was about to say. That Snape can't expect her not to move on with her life. Because he really did act like he expected just that.

"I don't expect anything from you," he said coldly, and the words pierced Gwen's heart. He really could hurt a person in a few cleverly chosen words.

"You don't? Then why bother with me at all? Why are you so…" Gwen didn't finish her sentence again. Tears filled her eyes now, because she wasn't sure what to think, or feel anymore. Why was Snape so cold, and why does he care? And is she really in love with Sirius? She admitted to herself that there is something in him, but not that she's really in love.

"Gwen, you're pushing it. I advise you to stop right where you are now," he was even colder, but Gwen was now even more angry. She fled from his desk, and was now standing right in front of Snape.

"Then what? Why do you act like you still care in a way… In a way you're not supposed to care for me? I don't understand you at all, Sev," Gwen couldn't hold back her tears anymore. "I wanted you! I really did. But you said what you said, and I can't deal with being a poor replacement for a woman you didn't even have. I deserve better than that! And yet you keep acting like… Like you want me to believe you are trying to change that. Like you want me to think you're trying to put me first. I'm not a toy, Sev, and neither are my feelings."

She was now shaking, and crying out of frustration. Snape stood quietly, looking at her.

"Has it ever occurred to you that maybe I am trying to do something about that?" he asked her, while she was still choking on her tears. She fell silent, and now looked at him.

"No, Sev, don't say it! Don't say it if it isn't the truth," Gwen cried.

"But in a way it is. And sometimes I think I got it right, but then… Then you do something, and I start to doubt everything again. It's torturing. And I don't have time for this, Gwendolyn, I have a…"

"Meeting to attend to? What are you saying they are more important than me?"

"Don't be stupid. You are one of the…"

"And that's the problem. I'm one of the for you. I can't be that. Nothing has changed," Gwen wiped her tears with her sleeve.

"How can you be so sure?" Snape now asked her boldly. The jealousy he felt towards Sirius was present since the day he saw Gwen sitting next to him. Sirius was always the one who got everything he wanted, and Snape was disgusted with the thought he might once want Gwen. And now he saw that the problem was something else. Gwen wanted Sirius. And that made him feel uncomfortable, and it made him think if he really did the right thing when he let her go.

"Are you serious now?" Gwen was surprised by his words, but didn't get the answer she was hoping for. In fact, he didn't get an answer at all. "So?"

Snape remained silent, and looked at her. He had many things to say, but didn't really know how to say them, so he remained quiet. Gwen was frustrated even more by his sudden quietness. When she figured he'll stay quiet, and won't really do anything, she rolled her eyes, stepped in front of him, hung her arms around his neck, and kissed him. He did kiss her back, but it felt different. It felt nothing like it did before. Both of them looked surprised at the other one. It was a brief kiss, totally pointless and meaningless. She didn't feel the spark she felt before, and he didn't feel her like he did before. It was quite the opposite of the kisses they shared two years ago.

"Sorry, but only one way to know this for sure," Gwen took a step back, and crossed her arms.

"You were right. This just proved it," Snape admitted his defeat. No matter how much he wanted to move on, something didn't let him. And he didn't want to do that to Gwen. In a way, he did love her. But the love he felt for her was something else of what she wanted him to feel for her. "And I am sorry. Even if you, for some idiotic reason, are in love with that prick, I'll stay out of your way."

"Sev, no. I don't want you out of my way. Admit it or not, you are my friend, and I am yours. And if I ever do fall in love, I would want you to accept him," Gwen was now as honest as she could be.

"I'll always respect your choice, no matter what you chose," Snape nodded. "But don't expect me to drink tea with Black, because that's not happening."

"Why are you so keen on the idea of me and him?" Gwen asked. Snape did know her best, and maybe he sees something she doesn't.

"I noticed that a while ago, Gwen. You smile differently when you talk to him. You look at him in awe all the time, no matter how stupid his stories are. When you mention him, the corner of your mouth twitches. And, you're in a better mood now when your life is in danger, than you were for the whole time you lived in Hogsmeade. I don't know what you're doing in that house, but I couldn't not notice," Snape told with his steadiest voice, the one he used while teaching. "I just don't want you being one of his conquests. Because you're not one. You're… Priceless."

"Thank you, Sev. See? You are a friend of mine. You care about my well-being," Gwen smiled now.

"Argh, you always make things so hard for me," he scoffed.

"Why? Because I don't see you as an emotionless sod tosser? I'm sorry, Sev, but I think I know best what kind of a human being you are, and you're many things, but you're not emotionless."

"You know, what you just said is true. You do know me the best, ironically," Snape sighed.

"I worked hard for it," Gwen stuck out her tongue. That was another of her habits that annoyed, and amused Snape in the same time. "But honestly, Sev, if it was my way… It would've been you."

Snape remained silent, and took another deep breath. Gwen rushed to hug him goodbye, and he hugged her back softly. She then turned to leave his office, and he stood frozen for a second.

"Gwen," he called her, and she turned around. "If anyone deserves to be someone's first, that's you."

Gwen smiled at him, swung her hair, and left Snape alone in his office.

* * *

Gwen got back right before Remus was leaving the house for his duty. She noticed him being even more tense, and couldn't really understand why.

"Hey Moony, leaving aren't you?" Gwen asked him, even though it was obvious.

"Yes. You did all of your errands?" Remus asked her visibly distracted with his thoughts.

"Yes, I did. And Moony, don't be angry with me, but," Gwen took the package with the robes she bought him from her bag, and handed them to him. "Look, you'll pay me back when you'll have the money. It's the robes you looked at that shop. It's colder outside, and I really don't like brewing cold potions. Take them, please."

Remus took the package, and felt embarrassed, but grateful. She instantly mentioned him paying back for it, and he appreciated that.

"I… Thank you. I'll pay you back, for sure," he couldn't deny he needs better robes. And he instantly thought how he will look better in those than in the ones he has, and he somewhat cared what he looked like when he went on missions with Tonks.

"Don't mention it. And pay me back when you'll be able to do so," Gwen smiled warmly at him, feeling relieved he didn't protest even a bit.

He murmured something about Imogen McDougall, and left the house before Gwen managed to ask any more questions. She kicked off her boots in the ground floor hallway, and decided to find Sirius. She had some explanation to do, although, she decided to hide her real reason for visiting Hogwarts for now. When she didn't find Sirius in his room, she instantly went into Buckbeak's room. Sirius was so deep in his thoughts, he didn't even notice her coming in. He tossed the dice over and over again, completely lost. Gwen sat next to him, and that mad him flinch, and notice her.

"I didn't…" he was confused, and surprised so the words were not coming out right.

"I'm sorry. I should've told you I have a meeting with Sev," Gwen said quickly, looking straight into Sirius' grey eyes.

"It's all right. You don't have to explain yourself to me. I mean, who am I, anyway?" he said with a heavy sigh, and lowered his look.

"Don't be ridiculous, hm? If it will make you feel better, the talk I had with Sev really made me feel a bit… A bit like I want to listen to those sad blues songs Remus likes," Gwen said with a weak smile.

"Oh?" Sirius was now curious to find out what they talked about. "Do I have to punch him in his incredibly large nose?"

"No, no," Gwen said flatly. "And I now, for the last time ever, ask you not to insult him, or make fun of him. He is my friend, and he respects me, and I respect him. You don't have to like him, just don't be a prick."

Sirius looked at Gwen, who never sounded more sincere when it came to his, and Snape's mutual hatred. And for the first time, he really felt sorry about his comment. He wanted to take back every insult he used for Snape in front of her.

"All right. I won't," he said shortly, not quite sure why he surrendered like this.

"You know, he told me about the night James saved his life," Gwen's voice was now firm, and determined.

"Well, not my proudest hour. I regret what I did then, trust me. I almost lost both James, and Remus because of what I did then, and I… I wouldn't ever do that again," Sirius said a bit embarrassed. He was regretting what he did, and he oftenly thought about that while he was in Azkaban.

"I'm glad to hear that," Gwen said with a smile on her face.

"Oi, woman, I'm not a child anymore," he smiled a bit more.

"I know you're not. But all of that regret is useless if you don't do the right thing," Gwen now looked at him with an expecting look.

"You want me to apologise to him?" Sirius understood her perfectly.

"You said that, not me," Gwen smiled at Sirius, but he knew what that meant. And as repulsive as the thought was, she was right. He never did apologise to Snape. He did apologise to Remus, James, and even Lily. But he never apologised to Snape. Remus told him to do it a few times, but he never listened. Now, almost twenty years later he felt like it was the most logical thing to do. To apologise to Snape. Gwen sighed sadly, and let her head fall on Sirius' shoulder. He lifted his arm, and hugged her, pulling her closer.

"So, what did you get me? Moony gave me some books, but I highly doubt those are for me," Sirius asked.

"No, they're not. Books are mine. Well, I bought something to you but I've left it downstairs. And I bought a book for Harry. About defensive magic. Moony thought it is a good idea, so I bought it. Figured you'd want us to do that," Gwen said, and sighed.

"I've never thought about giving him books, but you're right. Thank you," he said, and gave her a kiss on a top of her head. It wasn't something he would usually do. But, to be honest, this was the first time Gwen did something like that.

"Yes, well… I saw Harry, too. Only for a minute, though. Enough time to give him the book anyway," Gwen admitted. "And he is fine. He was delighted with the book. Such a good kid, you know? He didn't even ask me anything much, he just wanted to know everything is, and you are all right."

Sirius smiled at Gwen's words. He knew that already, but he liked how Gwen saw that in Harry too. And he felt surprisingly calm, after she admitted she's seen Harry. Like he himself saw him.

"Thank you, Gwen, really," Sirius said quietly.

"Hey, do you know any Imogen MacDougall?" Gwen asked suddenly, not wanting Sirius to get even more down.

"I do. She was our generation in Hogwarts, I think in Hufflepuff. Why?" Sirius was now confused. Gwen snuggled a bit to be in a better position under his arm.

"Well, Moony said he has to meet her," Gwen explained.

"Oh, she became an informant, Kingsley told me. But the more interesting thing is that she had hots for our Moony, too. I know she was so infatuated that James considered lending Lily to Moony just to make her go away."

Gwen laughed at that idea, and Sirius smiled at the memory.

"Hm, tell me more about that, will you? I would love to get my mind a bit distracted," Gwen closed her eyes, and Sirius noticed that. He started rubbing her upper arm in comfort.

"All right. But don't expect anything interesting. How interesting can be a person if her name is Imogen MacDougall, really?"

* * *

_23_ _rd_ _of October 1995_

Tonks was so tired of her field mission, that she was so overwhelmed from breathing now cold London air again. Kingsley and she were the last ones to come back, and he didn't manage to wrap the mission up in expected ten days. Tonks didn't even count on that. But she really needed some relaxing. She and Kingsley got to London in the morning, but Kingsley wanted them to do the full report while everything was still fresh to them. Tonks cried, and protested, but instantly agreed. She was completely aware that wasn't a punishment, yet just the task the second on the mission has to do after it.

It was almost 8 o'clock in the evening when they finally finished their report, and Kingsley gave her the permission to leave. She decided to surprise Gwen, Sirius, and Remus and show up for lunch tomorrow at Grimmaulds. Gwen again took care of her owl while she was away, so she needed to pick it up. And this weekend, she has a lunch with her parents, so she can't attend Gwen's usual Sunday lunch.

Tonks strolled the Diagon Alley happily, feeling relieved she was back in London, and free for the next three days. She decided to stop by at the chocolate shop, to buy some candies for all of them tomorrow. She visited the trinket shop too, and bought herself a pair of black studded biker gloves. After every successful mission, Tonks bought herself a little something. She thought she'll grow out of it, but now it was even more interesting than before. And she would never have that many dresses if she wasn't on all of those missions.

She entered _the Leaky Cauldron_ , and greeted Tom the barkeeper. Everyone knew Tom, she took a glance of the room as she entered it, and didn't notice anyone familiar. However, when she took another look, she noticed a pretty familiar head top. It was Remus. She instantly felt showered with happiness, and she smiled instantly. But, her happiness didn't last that long, as she noticed a woman sitting in front of him. She had dirty blonde hair, looked like she was of average height, and her teeth were a bit too big. She wore a prairie skirt, and it made Tonks flinch. She really hated prairie skirts. She saw this woman somewhere before.

Tonks stood frozen behind the wall that near the entrance of the old bar, and she didn't really know what to do. She was so embarrassed to go and greet him now. And she somehow started hating prairie skirts even more. Tonks took another glance at them, noticing the woman smiling brightly at Remus, as she twirled her hair around her finger. Tonks instantly thought how annoying the woman is. She noticed how the woman stretched her arm to Remus, and decided to leave before she sees something she can't even admit to herself she doesn't really want to see.

She now stood out of _the Leaky Cauldron,_ feeling her heart beating fast. She suddenly remembered that woman. That was Imogen, who worked in the Ministry files room. Kingsley mentioned her a lot because she oftenly did him favours. Tonks felt an undescribable rush of hatred toward the woman, even though she never met her, and couldn't really explain why is she feeling like that. For the first time in her life, Tonks felt jealous of some other girl talking to a boy. A man. A man who she obviously liked.

Tonks apparated to her apartment flustered. She felt so sad suddenly, and confused too. Remus always talked about himself as being non-commital, and yet this Imogen seemed quite interested in him. Tonks couldn't take the image of Remus kissing Imogen out of her head. She became more nervous than before. What if this woman changes Remus' mind, and she becomes his girlfriend? She would join the Order, and Remus would be going on a missions with her. And she wouldn't see him anymore. Tonks let out a dissatisfied moan, as she turned her record player, and put the Pearl Jam's _Ten_ on.

She let herself fall face down on her bed, and cursed the feeling she felt now. She wasn't even sure she liked him before, but from a moment she wished to be in a place of fucking Imogen MacDougall, she realised Gwen really was right. And she didn't really have a type. She had only one person in her mind. Remus Lupin.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some stories close, another ones open :)
> 
> In the next chapter we'll be celebrating Sirius' birthday.
> 
> And it will definitely be more of jealous Tonks because I love her like that!
> 
> Don't forget to let me know what you think xx


	19. Sirius over London

_1_ _st_ _of November 1995_

Remus was up earlier than usual. It was around 5 in the morning, and he gave up on even trying to sleep some more. Yesterday was an unusually quiet day at the Grimmauld Place, because Sirius locked himself in Buckbeak's room. He didn't even let Gwen in when she brought him something to eat. Remus shrugged at disappointed Gwen, who really did try her best to cheer both of them up. The main difference was that Sirius didn't even give her a chance, and Remus decided to appreciate her attempt by at least spending some time with her. She even made Sirius' favourite cookies, but nothing could get him out of that bloody room. Gwen finally gave up when she went to sleep, and Remus couldn't really do anything, but to wish her a good night.

Tonks was acting really strange since she got back from the last Auror mission, and Remus couldn't figure why. When Sirius acted out, the reason was obvious. For instance, now he couldn't cope with all what he was feeling, so he decided to shut himself from everyone. Gwen wasn't so dramatic, and she was pretty much straight forward. But Tonks was different. Since she came back, they didn't have any stakeout missions. Tonks took some time off, and visited her parents, and Ted's parents. She visited Grimmaulds for lunch the day after she got back, but she talked mostly to Gwen, and kind of ignoring both Remus and Sirius. Remus figured Gwen knew what was going on, but still wasn't courageous enough to ask her directly about it.

A little part of Remus hoped he'll see the silver jack rabbit hopping to meet him every time he looked outside of the window, but that didn't happen. It made him miss her even more, but the idea of her hating him, and avoiding him gnawed his mind like rust. With every day he didn't see her, the feeling became more intense. And, to add, it was seven days before the full moon. He was tense, and was much weaker with his nerves. Just the other day, he yelled at Kreacher, even though he didn't mean it, and he felt quite bad after it. Everything was building up in him, and he felt so annoyed by literally anything.

Remus knew there was a possibility of him seeing Tonks today. Gwen said Tonks promised her to escort her to Hogsmeade. It was All Saints' day, and Gwen wanted to visit her mother's grave, and her house. She told him Tonks will pick her up in the morning, and that she'll be joining them for breakfast. Remus took a deep breath, and decided to dress himself. He had a meeting with Imogen later, as she was filling him up with inside information for the Order cases. Since Kingsley was sent to Muggle world again, Remus took on the task of meeting with Imogen. But, today was the day he really didn't have any will to do so. He remembered her crush on him, and tried to be as reserved as he could be during their meetings. However, Imogen would occasionally take his hand, or touch him in a way that didn't comfort him at all.

He decided to wear the robes Gwen bought him, the matching pair of trousers, a shirt, and his favourite cardigan. Remus really took care of the cardigan, but he needed some esteem boost today. When he took out the cardigan from the closet, it felt different than it usually did when he took it right after washing it. It felt like it was worn. He didn't put much attention to it, but he did notice it. But, from a moment he put it on, the familiar fruity smell filled his nostrils. Tonks. Remus frowned, and didn't really get what was going on. Gwen charmed the closets to keep clothes fresh after being washed, and his cardigan definitely shouldn't smell like Tonks. He smelt the fabric, and convinced himself he is not crazy. The cardigan really did smell like her. He was now even more confused than before, and scratched his chin. As he lifted his arm, he noticed a strand of hair. A strand of orange curly hair. He remembered Tonks' hair was just in that shade, and texture on the evening of the last full moon. But how could it that be? Why would she wear his cardigan? And why is he feeling so relaxed suddenly?

He took another deep breath, and sat on his bed, his head dropping to his hands. Why did he feel like this when he thought of her? Since the idea of her wearing his cardigan got into his mind, the image of her in it couldn't leave his mind. Only in it. He couldn't help himself, as the sensation was flowing through his body. He felt guilty, and embarrassed to think about her in that way, but she was so beautiful, and she was a temptation to him. Just like when he thought about kissing her, the idea was so wrong, and right in the same time. " _I will poke my eyes out, that's the only solution,_ " Remus thought, as he managed to gather himself, and leave the room. Once when he figured nobody was up yet, he made himself a cup of tea, got some books, and lounged into sitting room's couch. It was one of the desperate moves to see, and talk to Tonks. He must find out what is happening with her.

Gwen reached the ground floor after 8 o'clock, which was rather odd for her. She was usually up much earlier. Remus let her go into the kitchen without saying a thing. He figured it was Gwen since she sang _Purple Haze_ by Jimi Hendrix quite loudly. Even Walburga's curses didn't get her mood down. When Gwen upset Walburga, the portrait would treat her with _blood traitor, shame of your blood_ wave of insults. If the portrait was uncovered, Gwen would flip her off, and drew the curtains while doing so. Both Remus and Sirius found that amusing, because Gwen was usually good-mannered. Remus was too tense for cheerful Gwen, so he decided not to interrupt her. He finally decided to join Gwen when he heard her placing the dishes on the table.

"Morning," he greeted her shortly.

"Morning, Moony," Gwen smiled widely. "Hungry?"

"Yes, I got up earlier, so I buried myself in books, and completely forgot to eat," he was lying. He wasn't in a mood to make food. When Remus made his meals feeling this tense, he would usually mess it up. He was back quickly, sitting right across Gwen.

"Are you all right?" Gwen asked him suspiciously. "You look… Tense, and worried even more than usual."

"I'm fine," Remus lied again.

"Mhm, and I'm the queen of England," Gwen said, narrowing her eyes.

"I am fine, really, the full moon is coming, so it must be it," Remus grunted, but he knew he sounded so unconvincing. His body felt better than usual, but he still was tense, and

"If you say so," Gwen raised an eyebrow, and returned to her coffee.

"You know, as much as I appreciate you and your help, you have a nasty habit of having to know everything," Remus muttered, and continued eating.

"Yes, because then I can help all of you hopeless cases," Gwen was fast with the response.

"Has it ever occurred to you that maybe you're hopeless case?" Remus was now even more tense, and by Gwen's raised eyebrows, and seconds of silence, he figured he went too far. "I'm sorry."

"Usually, I would be so pissed at you now, but I'll give you a free pass because of your condition. A piece of advice, because you're feeling shitty, you don't have to be a shitty person. At least not with people who only want to help you," Gwen stood up, taking her dishes, and leaving Remus fuming alone. He felt bad for talking with Gwen like that, but he couldn't help himself. And she really was rather nosy lately. Neither Gwen, or Remus knew that Tonks is right in front of the door, trying to calm herself.

Nymphadora Tonks had a dilemma. She was so happy to finally be at Grimmauld Place, but since she saw Remus and Imogen in _the Leaky Cauldron_ , she felt insecure in front of him. She didn't know how to act around Remus, and she wasn't even sure what she feels. Well, by now she managed to figure she really fancies Remus Lupin, in more than a friendly way. He was funny, smart, attractive, manly, mysterious, and he was a perfect gentleman. He always noticed the things around, and about her, and he smiled so softly at her when she talked. Even though he would never admit it, he had his way with people. Or he just had his way with her? He was always smelling so nicely, and his hands were mesmerising. Just like his eyes. Her dilemma was pretty much simple; should she let him know she obviously fancies him, or should she play it cool?

Tonks took some time off because she was really over-worked, and needed some time to get her emotions in order. And she felt bad for not seeing her parents, and grandparents as often as they would like. So, she used the week to visit them all, and spend some time alone. Tonks was still surprised by the jealousy she felt. She never thought of herself as a jealous type because usually she wasn't jealous. Not in this way, anyway. Because of that, she was to embarrassed to spend time around Remus. She couldn't even look at him the day after at lunch, because she would blush so badly, not even morphing helped her.

However, Tonks missed spending time with him. She got used to spending nights with him on the stakeouts, and she liked his presence. She wanted to spend time with him, even though she didn't know how to act. In fear of making a fool out of herself, she decided to spend some time away. And now, she was standing at the door, feeling so self-assured. If she sees him, she'll act normal, like nothing happened. Remus didn't see her, anyway. Tonks entered the house, and took a deep breath. She didn't even trip over that hideous umbrella stand, and entered the dining room proudly.

"Wotcher!" She smiled brightly at Remus. She expected someone with him, but she must stay focused. And act normal. Remus looked at her in awe. She looked so fresh, and vibrant. Her hair was platinum blonde, with magenta pink tips, and tied in two not so long braids. She wore the long leather coat, a plain shirt, and a pair of bell bottom jeans. And of course, her boots.

"Hello," a shy smiled curved Remus' lips. He was so relieved to see her all bright, and fresh. "How was your… Vacation?"

"Oh, great! I visited my grandparents, and I think my father made me fat. Look," she turned to show him her non-existent belly.

"I don't agree with that, but I'm glad you had a great time," Remus tried not to sound poignant.

"Thanks. And you? What have you've been up to?" Tonks asked curiously, trying not to act any differently than she usually would. And it's not like she can ask him about Imogen all of a sudden.

"Well, I did some research for the Order, and helped Gwen with something I don't really approve. I guess she'll tell you all about it," Remus sighed.

"Was the research successful? Are we having another mission then?" Tonks asked, trying to get Remus to talk to her.

"Not yet, anyway," Remus shrugged. "The informant had some useless, and useful information. But, I think we'll have another stakeout soon," he shrugged.

"Can't wait!" Tonks blurted, and figured she sounded a bit over-enthusiastic. Remus gave her a shy smile, still tense, and worried. Yet, she made him feel more relaxed, and better than he felt since the last full moon.

"I thought I heard you," Gwen joined them in the kitchen, wearing her fur coat. "Shall we?"

"Yes, yes," Tonks said quickly, trying to catch Remus look. But he kept it away, as he stood up, and picked up his dishes. Gwen was already on the main door, and Tonks made a quick decision. She took a few steps, and hanged herself from Remus' neck, hugging him. She pressed his bite mark a bit, but he didn't flinch. His hands were occupied, so he couldn't really hug her properly, but he did his best. Before she let him go, she gave him a quick peck on the cheek, and then turned to leave the room as fast as possible.

"Tonks," Remus called her, and now she had to turn to him. "I'm just curious… When did you wear my cardigan?"

Tonks was frozen. How did he know? She felt her cheeks getting red, and tried to morph it out.

"I… I was cold… and…" She stuttered, and Remus looked at her amused. He caught her. After the hug she just gave him, he got the energy to let her know that he knows. "I'm sorry." Tonks sighed.

"No need to be, you can wear any of my clothes if you want," that was a bold statement he wasn't ready to say, but he did anyway. The image of her only in his oversized cardigan still haunted his thoughts.

"I… Thank you," Tonks muttered, and left the room as fast as she could. She joined Gwen on the first porch step.

"Drive us? Please, I need…" Tonks was flustered, and Gwen just patted her shoulder, and showed her car waiting for them in front of the house already.

"Get in, we have a lot to talk about," Gwen told her with a smile, and Tonks couldn't help herself but to hug Gwen.

"You're the coolest," she said, and slipped into the passenger seat. As they drove off, neither of them noticed Sirius head peaking beneath the curtains of Buckbeak's room. He still hasn't left it, and haven't felt comfortable with leaving it anytime soon. But, he wanted to take a glimpse of Gwen. And, since she was out now, he didn't feel that safe anymore. When did she become the person who granted him the feeling of safeness? He honestly didn't know, and wasn't sure how that happened.

* * *

Tonks and Gwen had barely left the London when Tonks started to talk about what happened at _the Leaky Cauldron_. Gwen was ecstatic by hearing Tonks speaking so openly about her more than obvious feelings for Remus.

"Fucking Imogen MacDougall. I hate her, and her stupid prairie skirts," Tonks pouted, and Gwen burst into laughter.

"Well, I haven't had the honour to meet Imogen, but Sirius told me she was quite in love with Moony," Gwen said, when she stopped laughing at last.

"Great…" Tonks said, sounding so obviously jealous.

"Tonks, you're jealous," Gwen said matter-of-factly, with a devilish grin dancing on her lips.

"Am I? I've never felt this way. I guess it is jealousy, but I never thought I'd fancy him this way. I'm so confused," Tonks admitted.

"Is that why you took some time off? I'd understand if you did."

"Well, yes, and no. I really had to go to my grandparents, but I didn't have to be there for that long. I needed some time to get myself in order, you know?"

"Hm, I don't really think you managed to do that."

"I know! I felt so confident, and was ready to own everything today, and I acted cool all the way. Until you left. I hugged him, and kissed his cheek," Tonks was now flustered.

"You what?" Gwen asked her in disbelief,

"You heard me."

"And he didn't flinch? Or jump? I mean, he is really tense last few days. A bit annoyingly tense, and was kind of a prick," Gwen sighed.

"No, I felt his heart beating faster, though," Tonks started to fidget with her sleeves. "And he figured I wore his cardigan?"

"What? How?" Gwen instantly thought about Sirius figuring out she wore his jacket, too.

"I don't know, he just… I'll die of embarrassment, G, this is awful," Tonks covered her face with her hands.

"You're being dramatic. Listen to me now," Gwen tried to sound as clear, and strict as possible. "We'll visit my mother's grave, and then you'll help me with something, and when we get back to London, we'll have a nice lunch."

"I don't really…"

"Are you refusing my invitation? Last time I counted you missed way too many of my Sunday lunches, so you have no choice," Gwen stuck her tongue out at Tonks, who smiled at the gesture.

"I'll just turn into a squishy puddle of nothing in front of him, then," Tonks cried.

"No, you won't. Listen to me now, because this is important. You just need to act like nothing is happening. I think you have nothing to be jealous of, because that Imogen person was throwing herself at him, and he denied her. Why would he do something now?" Gwen asked, not really expecting an answer.

"I don't know," Tonks started. "He has needs, I guess, and men are different than us."

"That's true, but Remus is not like other men, you know?"

Tonks smiled at Gwen's words. She was right, Remus wasn't like the others.

"I guess he's not," Tonks said shyly.

"You fancy him, and there is nothing wrong with that, Tonks," Gwen said, trying to make Tonks feel better. "And you have no reason to be this insecure. I mean, you're a real catch. But when it comes to men like Remus, you have to take things slow. Show him affection, but not too much. Make him feel like… He matters. You know?"

Tonks wasn't sure what Gwen meant, but nodded anyway.

"So, you just have to be your normal, usual self. And if you're that worried about Imogen, I'll try to find out more about what's going on there," Gwen offered. She knew Remus would most likely tell Sirius if anything happened, and all she had to do was ask.

"You'd do that?" Tonks asked, not really sure that was a good plan, but she was way too curious about their relationship.

"Sure. And even though my mother was a hippie, I do too hate prairie skirts," Gwen said, and they both burst into laughter. "Besides, you have stakeout missions for the next week, and I guess you two have a lot of catching up to do."

"Hmmm…" Tonks had some ideas of how to get Remus' attention. She already decided to make a bunch of comfort food for him again, and she still had a surprise for him from her trip.

"I see you getting the ideas, so spill it," Gwen said, smiling more devilishly than before.

"Wait, wait, wait! I have a question first. With what was Remus helping you? He said he wasn't really approving of your plan," Tonks was curious about Gwen's intentions.

"Oh, that… I have a surprise for Sirius, and you'll help too!"

"I'm listening," Tonks shifted in her seat, as Gwen started to elaborate her plan.

* * *

Three hours passed since Gwen and Tonks left, and Remus felt tense, and more miserable than before. When he saw Tonks, he figured how much he missed her. And when she hugged him, he felt his heart beating rather fast, and was curious if she noticed it. He hoped she didn't, because he would then seem like a 35-year old idiot of a man who can't control himself when a woman hugs him. Pathetic.

And the comment he made about the cardigan. Was it really necessary? Why was he such a sucker for her attention? He felt like he was an in love Hogwarts student, not a grown man. He just wanted her to be around him, he wanted to be with her, talk to her. But no, he had a meeting with Imogen instead. Remus was really frustrated with the commotion his feelings made inside of his head, so he decided to talk to Sirius. Just as he got in front of the room's door, Sirius emerged.

"Oi, Moony!"

"Padfoot… I was just coming to get you out of that room."

"Well, I'm out," Sirius smiled brightly. It wasn't what Remus expected to see.

"You seem… In a suspiciously good mood," Remus' eyes narrowed.

"I am in a good mood. But honestly, you look pissed, and frustrated. What twisted your knickers?"

"I… Can we talk somewhere, please?"

"Sure, the library has the best firewhiskey!"

"Isn't it a bit early for drinking? Are you already drunk?" Remus noticed Sirius swinging on his legs.

"As a matter of fact, I am a bit drunk, but I got it all right! I know exactly what to do now. And you need my help, so let's talk, Moony!"

Sirius rushed to reach the library, and Remus followed him with a sigh.

"So, what's the matter?" Sirius asked, lounging cockily on the couch.

"It's Tonks," Remus sighed. It still wasn't easy for him to talk about her in that way, but if he doesn't talk about it, he'll go insane.

"Of course it's Nymphie! Tell me more, what did she do?"

"Nothing. As you know she took some time off. And that's understandable, because she really needs to rest. I mean, I know she's young, but her working pace will kill her," Remus sighed. "But I guess… I don't know, Padfoot. Something is going on. You need to see it to figure what I'm thinking about."

"And I guess I will today, Gwen will definitely have us reunited for lunch," Sirius patted his friend's shoulder.

"I noticed something. She was wearing my cardigan. This one," Remus pointed at the piece of clothing he still wore.

"How do you know?"

"I found her hair on it, and it smells just like her," Remus admitted shyly.

"Then the two of them were doing something, because I'm almost sure Gwen wore my jacket, too," Sirius jumped. "They must've been mocking us."

"I don't know… It's just odd."

"I'm sorry Moony, but I don't really get you. You're acting all in love, and want her attention, and yet you refuse to show her you care about her. You don't want her to know, but at the same time you want to be with her. How does that make any sense?"

"Because she doesn't like me like that," Remus sighed sadly. "I mean, she couldn't, right? Why would she, anyway? And I shouldn't act like I'm her equal because I'm not."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that. I think she does like you more than you think. You never believed us with our old friend Imogen, and she had the hots for you for a year!" Sirius exclaimed.

"For hell's sake, that made me traumatised on so many levels, Padfoot," Remus laughed under his breath. "But she's not Imogen, and she doesn't like me like that."

"Let's agree we disagree. Tell me, what's up with Imogen now you saw her again?"

"Argh, I have to meet her now. She forces her laughter, and she's a bore. She exaggerates everything, and she sometimes awkwardly grabs my hand. She feels like death," Remus burst into laughter. Sirius once said that Imogen will be the death of Remus.

"Are you sure you didn't awkwardly flirt with her without noticing? She used to like that a lot," Sirius asked curiously.

"I hardly doubt that. I'm not ever flirting," Remus defended himself.

"Mhm, except with Tonks. You do flirt with her, and don't even try to deny it," Sirius was now grinning again.

"I'm not flirting with her… I didn't come to you just so you could mock me, you know? And besides, you're the one who tries to flirt with Gwen all the time."

"Leave me and Gwen out of this, for now. You're so flirting with Tonks all the time. What is with all that 'Let me walk you out, let me hold the door, let me pull out the chair for you' bollocks? You being the perfect attentative gentleman? Not buying it, Moony," Sirius cornered Remus, who didn't know what to say. He suddenly looked at his wristwatch, and stood up.

"Imogen is waiting for me. I would rather meet with the Whomping Willow again," Remus grunted, and left Sirius alone. Sirius rolled his eyes, and decided that from now on, he'll make so many embarrassing comments, Remus and Tonks will have to do something. And he'll definitely have Gwen on his side. Gwen. He had a whole plan for what he'll do with her, too. But one step at a time. Sirius summoned himself a glass of firewhiskey, downed it, and rubbed his palms grinning. He definitely needed a shower first.

* * *

It was way past their usual lunch time, but Gwen, Remus, Sirius, and Tonks were just finishing the pasta Gwen made as soon as she and Tonks got back. They all kept her company while she did it, and talked about what Tonks did on her mission, and discussed the Order work. Gwen noticed Remus being relaxed, and definitely less tense than in the morning. And she was glad to see Sirius out of the room. Even though, she wasn't happy to feel the liquor on his breath. They ate, and joked while doing so, filling the old house with laughter.

"So, how is my now second favourite cousin doing?" Sirius asked Tonks. "You're definitely the favourite one now."

"Mum is good. Worried, and all, but she's well. I'd like to tell her about all of this, about you, though. But I know I can't, and I shouldn't, so," Tonks sighed.

"We can talk to old Dumbledore about it!" Sirius jumped excited.

"Yes, that could work," Remus said calmly. "Andromeda did help us during the first war, and I guess she would be a good ally, too."

"I don't know if I want to drag her into this," Tonks looked at Gwen. Gwen was the only one Tonks thought could understand her fears at that point.

"Tonks, do what you think it's best. If you want to talk to Dumbledore, I can, you know test the field with Sev. He is usually right about this sort of things," Gwen took Tonks' hand in comfort.

"I'll think about it, definitely," Tonks smiled.

"Right," Sirius looked amused. "Well, Tonksie, anyone else worth mentioning? Maybe some bloke stealing your heart?"

As he said that, he felt the swift kick on his shins. It was Gwen, and she obviously didn't like his question. Tonks looked confused, and Remus felt his gut clenching.

"What? No, no, no one like that," Tonks looked straight to Remus, who tried to look as ignorant as he could.

"Mhm," Sirius muttered. "Gwen, didn't you say you need my help in the kitchen earlier. Show me!"

Sirius stood up suddenly, and grabbed Gwen's hand gently to lift her up, and drag her to the kitchen. She waved her hand, and the dishes followed them.

"She's really handy around the house," Tonks smiled.

"Yes, she certainly is," Remus sighed, thinking about how really helpful Gwen has been since she moved with them.

"So, you had a meeting today? An informant?" Tonks didn't want to be direct, but she couldn't dance around the subject anymore.

"Yes. Imogen. Maybe you know her, she works at the Ministry," Remus said flatly. "She's a bit boring, but her information proved to be really useful, so I sacrifice myself."

Tonks felt the wave of joy, as soon as he said those words. He didn't like her in that way. But she still hated Imogen, and her stupid prairie skirts. And she most definitely didn't want Imogen around Remus.

"Right, right. At least then you can make the meetings quick," Tonks smiled shyly, trying to find out why he took her out that day.

"Well, I try to. But she is restless! Quite exhausting," Remus sighed. "I don't even want to talk about her."

"That's fair. Are you ready for your surprise?" Tonks grinned now widely. Remus completely forgot about the surprise she announced last month. "Ta-da!"

Tonks pulled out the big box of chocolates out of her rucksack.

"Hand-made, and they say those are the best chocolates in the whole UK!"

Remus smiled, as he took the gift.

"Wow! I'll accept it only if you'll eat it with me," he smiled at her softly. "Thank you!"

"Of course! Bring them on the next stakeout. As I understood Gwen, it's tomorrow night."

"Right. I just hope it won't be that cold tomorrow," Remus expressed his concerns.

"Me too! I'll freeze to death!" Tonks hugged herself, pretending she's cold.

"Oh, no you won't. We'll find the way to keep you warm," Remus said, wiggled his eyebrows, and pointed at the chocolates.

"Yum!" Tonks exclaimed, and smiled at him. They got lost in the conversation, and they didn't even realise Gwen, and Sirius watching them.

"They are so flirting," they said in unison, surprised by the other one's words.

"It's so obvious," Gwen said quietly.

"Right, but that's good, isn't it?" Sirius said, and leaned in. He was now pressed against Gwen on the doorstep, and his hair tickled her neck. Her instant reaction was to giggle quietly, and that made Sirius' lips curve into a seductive half-smile. He did have a plan what to do with Gwen, but he figured he'll improvise. And it worked.

* * *

_2_ _nd_ _of November 1995_

It was almost midnight, and Tonks and Remus took cover under the big tree right across the alleged Dark Wizard's house. He is suspected to know the hiding place of Voldemort, or at least he was connected with the ones who knew. Tonks and Remus were supposed to track him, and if they don't get any information in the next week, they'll definitely have to break into his place. Tonks was excited about it, since the last time she broke into something it was Filch's office at Hogwarts. Remus wasn't so amused by that idea, but he let her be excited. He was rather afraid of what the house held.

Tonks decided to wear warm clothes, but her jacket was way too thin. It was mostly because the thicker one made her look fat, and she felt bad. She wanted to feel pretty, and the feather jacket made her feel like a blowfish. But, she regretted it now, because she was getting colder, and colder. Her hair was in a shade of sky blue, and was wavy. Remus put on his new winter robes, and wasn't cold at all. However, he did bring them both some tea to keep them warm. They were just having a cup, along with eating the chocolates Tonks gave him.

"Mmm, nougat," Remus said, licking his fingers.

"You like nougat? I like hazelnuts more," Tonks said, and threw a piece of chocolate candy in her mouth.

"I like all the chocolate really, but nougat could be my favourite. I never thought about it," Remus smiled.

"Mmm, I like hazelnuts and strawberry filled chocolate the best," she said, taking a sip of her tea. "And I like this fruity tea, too! What is it?"

"Raspberry, pear, and pomegranate," Remus nodded. "And for me, it's the classic Earl Grey."

"I like mine better. Thank you," she smiled, and take a shy sip. "So, what do you think about Gwen's plan?"

"I don't really approve it, but she's doing something really nice for Padfoot, so I let her be. I can't really fight her, she pulls it her own way, anyway," Remus sighed.

"You say that like it's the bad thing. I thought men liked self-assured women," Tonks was fishing for information, and hoped it'll work.

"Well, it's not, don't get me wrong. But, I think she's quite aware of the risks, and you know…"

"She cares about Sirius," Tonks blurted. "That's why she's doing that. And she wouldn't take any risks, so I don't think you should worry."

"Point taken," Remus said, and took another candy. "And he does care about her, too."

"Right, and that's why we'll be there tomorrow, smiling like two mental cases!" Tonks jumped, and took another candy.

"Yes, I guess that's what we'll do," Remus was amused with her energy.

"Is it appropriate if I bought him a gift? I know it's the anniversary, and I don't know…" Tonks bit her lip at once. She was a bit nervous now.

"Well, Sirius likes getting gifts, if anything. So, if you bring him anything, he'll be delighted, for sure," Remus smiled at Tonks to reassure her.

"Right. Well, I remembered how you told me his old record player was at my parents'. I took it, and had it completely renewed. It's now like it's never been used. So I haven't really bought him something new," Tonks shrugged.

"Why did you do that? He'll torture us with his music now all the time!" Remus joked.

"Well, we can't listen to your record collection, as impressive as it is, all the time, right?" Tonks smiled devilishly. "That's why I got his records, too. I told my mother I wanted them. She wasn't really delighted with my idea, but she agreed to me taking them."

"I bet she saw right through you," Remus chuckled. "You're a terrible liar."

"No, I'm not," Tonks blushed.

"You are, but that's not a bad thing," Remus gave her a kind smile, and she got lost in his eyes for a second. Damn him.

"Right," she managed to say, before the cold flash shook her body.

"Are you cold?" Remus asked her. "I can give you my robe, if you'd like."

"No, no way!" Tonks refused because she didn't want him to get sick before the full moon. She read in some books it can make some serious complications for the werewolves if they transform while being sick. "I guess I misjudged the weather today."

"Come here," Remus instantly invited him to get closer to him, moving his tea cup. He wasn't really sure what was he doing, but he wanted to get her comfortable, and warm. And if she's not taking his robes, he could do so by hugging her. He was always warm, and even though he could feel the cold, he took it better than her. Tonks looked at him surprised, but scooted over.

"Good?" he asked him.

"Not quite," he said, and pulled her closer, hugging her with his right arm, wrapping her in his robe, as much as he could. She snuggled closer to him. His warmness was soothing, and magnetic. Tonks liked the feeling of his lean body pressed next to hers, and she noticed his breathing changing the pace. "Better?"

Tonks adjusted some more, and ended with her head on his shoulder, her legs awkwardly settled under his.

"Much better," she murmured.

They talked more in that position, as they would only occasionally adjust themselves to prevent their bodies from becoming numb. At one point, she threw her legs over his, and snuggled placing her head on his chest. She felt like she was hugged by a big teddy bear, and he felt such joy with just holding her, seeing she's comfortable. Tonks almost fell asleep while Remus talked about the last birthday party his friends thrown him. Not because his story was dull, but because his warmness made her sleepy, and his calming voice, and arm around her made her feel so safe. She felt like she could spend days like that. And a part of her really hoped that was possible. For her to snuggle like that in his arms, and listen to him. While he talked, the idea of kissing him started lingering in her mind. When she was in a position she could see his face, she looked at his lips, thinking about how soft those must be. He didn't notice it. Because he was too excited with the fact she accepted his offer to snuggle like that. Even though both of them considered it friendly from the other side, that wasn't friendly at all. In fact, it was the first time they both thought about the same thing. Them together. As a couple.

* * *

_3_ _rd_ _of November 1995_

Gwendolyn Doherty had a dilemma.

She planned the perfect day for Sirius' birthday, much to his grunting, and Remus' snarky looks when she talked about it. She was relieved Tonks completely supported her, and got her back, helping her with all the details she needed help. Tonks without a question accepted all of the Gwen's ideas, and was more than eager to help her make it happen. She even went to the Muggle supermarket to buy everything for making Sirius a birthday cake. Of course, Tonks got herself a bit carried away, so she bought a bunch of birthday themed paraphernalia too. Gwen was once again amused by Tonks' spirit, and was forever grateful for Tonks' help.

It was almost evening, and they already had their lunch. Sirius grunted the whole way through it, and wasn't in a particularly good mood. Tonks tried to cheer him up as hard as she knew, but without much success. Sirius went to Buckbeak's room again, and Gwen sent Tonks and Remus to get a few final things for her surprise. She made a simple looking chocolate cake, filled with caramel, peanuts, and cookies. It was one of the Muggle tricks she learned, making great cakes without magic. She was just finishing decorationg the cake, as she drew the constellation of Canis Major on its top. Perfect. She hid the cake from Sirius' curious eyes, and decided to get herself ready for the party they were supposed to have.

Gwen's dilemma was simple; how does she present her surprise? Should she act cool, or make a big scene? After a shower that took her more than usual, she was trying to dry her hair, as she heard the knocks on her door.

"G, you in here?" Tonks' voice was almost unhearable.

"I am, come in!" Gwen invited her. She was dressed in a dark blue silk bathrobe, but at that point, she didn't care about Tonks seeing her naked, or half-naked anyway.

"Preparing yourself? Maybe I should hit the shower too," Tonks said, smelling her armpits out of fun. "Ew!"

"If you want to, the bathroom is free," Gwen told her, as she was trying to brush her hair now.

"You nervous?" Tonks asked, and jumped on Gwen's bed on her stomach.

"A bit," Gwen admitted. "I'm not sure he'll appreciate the gift. I don't want him to think I'm mocking him."

"G, he's a bit weird, rash, and loony, but he's not an idiot. He'll appreciate it," Tonks said, pulling out a lollipop out of her pocket, stuffing it in her mouth. "Oh la-la!"

Tonks took the underwear that Gwen placed on her bed, and swung it in her hand. She wiggled her eyebrows at Gwen, who looked dumbstruck.

"Those are regular knickers, Tonks," Gwen tried to act cool. Why would her underwear matter anyway?

"Those aren't regular knickers. If we went out today, I would say you're totally preparing to get some," Tonks eyes widened. "Are you…"

"No!" Gwen interrupted her before Tonks finished her thought. "And those are dirty, dirty thoughts, Tonks!"

"Oh come on, don't be such a prude! After the extracurricular activities I know you did at Hogwarts, you can't act all innocent with me!"

"I'm not a prude," Gwen defended herself, and took her underwear from Tonks hand.

"Then what?"

"What?"

"Don't act bonkers with me! You want to be shagged brainless! It doesn't have to be anyone in this house though, but those knickers are better than my best shag-knickers," Tonks teased Gwen.

"Tonks!"

"Oh come on! When was the last time you had a good shag?" Tonks chuckled.

"What's gotten into you? You can't even go with Moony to the store without becoming a sexual deviant?" Gwen teased her back.

"G, you know… Yesterday he hugged me to keep me warm. We snuggled, and I never even thought about shagging him. And that's in my defence! I'm not a deviant. For now," Tonks chuckled some more.

"You snuggled? That's a part you missed to mention earlier," Gwen was now interested, and sat down next to Tonks.

"Well, I was cold. And he wanted to give me his new robes. I refused, so he wrapped me in it while they were on him. But I guess he thought about it as a friend. He was so cautious with his hands," Tonks sighed.

"What did I say to you? He's not a man who would grab you the first time he has a chance. Enjoy the snuggling, because that means he likes your closeness. And you pressed against him, mhm," Gwen now teased Tonks, whose cheeks became pinker.

"Right, right," Tonks said quietly. "He is so sweet I can't even see him being… You know, passionate, or…"

"Trust me, those sweet kind are mostly the best lovers."

"How do you know?"

"Told you already, I know men like Remus," Gwen stood up again.

"Mhm, and if you again think about Snape, I don't think they are alike considering that," Tonks didn't even want to think about Snape's bedroom skills.

"I'm not, actually, but that experience is still one of mine favourites," Gwen sighed.

"Was he your last? You know, the last one you shagged with?" Tonks asked curiously. They talked a lot, and she figured that's the truth, but still wanted Gwen's confirmation.

"Well, yes," Gwen answered shortly.

"Merlin! You hadn't been shagged in two years, and you're telling me you don't want to be shagged brainless? That's ridiculous!" Tonks shrieked.

"Don't be so loud. And fine, not like anything like that will happen here, but maybe I would like to be shagged brainless," Gwen said a bit loudly, and didn't even notice Sirius opening the door right in the middle of that sentence.

"Hope I'm not interrupting anything," he said, pretending he didn't just hear what he surely did hear. Gwen froze in her place, and Tonks laughed under her breath, trying to be as subtle as she could be.

"No, you're not. What do you want?" Gwen tried to sound cool, but her voice was cracking.

"I just came to tell you Moony said to meet him in the drawing room in an hour. You can wear that attire, if you'd like, but I guess Moony wouldn't be that comfortable," Sirius said grinning, and closed the door.

"Did he just…" Gwen stuttered, fighting to find the right words.

"I think he did, but have you ever thought how much he wants to be shagged brainless too? I mean, twelve years in Azkaban, and then a year and a half in hiding…"

"Tonks, I'm not talking about this now! Help me pick out what to wear," Gwen changed the subject, and Tonks rolled her eyes, jumping from the bed to help Gwen.

After she did that, Tonks went to take a shower. Gwen dressed herself in a black laced blouse, a black high-waisted circle skirt, pair of dotted leggings, and her high combat boots. She decided to braid her hair in two long braids, and went downstairs to meet Tonks. Tonks was in Soundgarden shirt, combined with leather trousers, and her combat boots. Her hair was in a shade of teal, chin length, and curly.

"Soundgarden?" Gwen asked, confused.

"Grunge. Great music, will definitely show it to you on the night of the full moon," Tonks smiled widely. "Ready for the party?"

Gwen nodded, and they went together to the drawing room. Gwen made some snacks for them to eat, and the table was filled with fine liquor. They even let Sirius pick the music, so he walked into the room with the sound of _Walk this way_ by Aerosmith, with Remus chuckling behind him, trying to cover his face with his hands. Both Sirius and Remus were in a much better mood than Gwen hoped they would be. They spent two hours joking, and talking, playing a few rounds of exploding snap. Remus won, even though he did let Tonks win two times. Sirius nudged Gwen every time he noticed Remus doing moves that helped Tonks.

"And now the time for presents!" Tonks jumped, and ran out of the room.

"I shall… Help her!" Gwen said quickly, and stormed out of the room.

Remus and Sirius shared a look.

"Don't look at me. I know nothing," Remus said with his best poker face on. The one that always tricked Sirius, and it worked now too.

"Those two… We must break that friendship, Moony, those two are a menace!" Sirius joked.

"And what exactly are we?" Remus asked, really curious for Sirius's answer.

"We are the Marauders. At least the half of them, anyway," Sirius sighed.

"Well, we were the actual menace, to be honest," Remus chuckled, and the old friends cheered to their memories.

Tonks and Gwen barged into the room, again. Tonks was carrying the big, wrapped box, and Gwen was carrying the cake, decorated with birthday candles. They started singing happy birthday, completely out of tune, as Remus subtly turned off the lights. Sirius smiled shyly, since he really didn't expect that. He blew his candles, and Tonks clapped enthusiastically.

"Have you made your wish?" she asked. Sirius smiled at her, and his look almost instantly flew to Gwen. For a second, but Tonks noticed it.

"I did, yes. Freedom!" he yelled, and took the piece of the cake with his fingers, trying to eat it, smudging it all over his face, and beard. Tonks burst into loud laughter, and did the same as Sirius.

"Um… I would like…" Remus tried not to laugh, and he really wanted to eat the cake like a civilised being, with utensils from a plate.

"No, professor, no normal eating today," Tonks said, and smashed the piece of the cake right into Remus' mouth, spreading it all over his now smiling face. Gwen chuckled, thinking how she avoided the same fate. "You think that's funny, princess of Bulgaria?"

Tonks asked, but didn't wait for the answer. She smashed another piece of cake right in her face.

"Nice!" Sirius cheered, eating the cake with his fingers. "And since this cake is divine, I'm sure Bulgarian princess made it, so thank you!"

"Mmm, I do make a good cake!" Gwen nodded happily.

They ate the whole cake with their fingers, and it was smudged on every one of their faces. They washed themselves magically, and were once again squeaky clean.

"This Black family conspiracy… I don't like it," Remus frowned, and smiled at the sight of his best friend, and a woman he was so desperately in love with.

"I think you like a part of it, right?" Gwen made a quick remark only Remus could hear, and he was stunned. He didn't know what to say, so he remained quiet.

"Now open my present!" Tonks jumped suddenly, and handed Sirius the big box she carried earlier.

"Oh, I love presents," Sirius smiled at her. "Wow, this is heavy!"

He unwrapped the present messily, and when he opened the box he was surprised to see his old record player.

"Oh my… that shit is still alive!"

"Yes, my mother kept it in the attic. I nicked it from her, the records too!" Tonks said proudly. "Happy birthday, Padfoot!"

"Thank you, Tonksie!" Sirius hugged Tonks happily.

"What did I got from Moony, hm?" Sirius said, and took the smaller box Remus put in front of him. He opened the box only to find a toy golden snitch, which flew instantly, and started playing some guitar riffs.

"This is so annoying, it's amazing!" Sirius said, high-fiving his best friend. Remus knew that when it came to Sirius, the useless gifts are usually the best choice. "Thank you, Moony!"

"Remus, could you help me with… something?" Tonks abruptly stood up, much to Sirius' surprise.

"Ahh.. sure," Remus said, and followed Tonks out of the room. It was half past nine, now, and Sirius didn't really expect any more surprises. Gwen stood up too, but only to come behind Sirius.

"Meet me on the roof in five minutes," she said quietly, and left the room too. Sirius frowned. What was going on now? He waited for five minutes, and went to the top floor of the house. He was allowed to go out on the roof, but the height made him want to jump off it. And he didn't want to do anything stupid, so he decided not to go there. What was Gwen up to? He climbed the roof through his bedroom window. The roof didn't have a real entrance, and the only way up was from either his, or Gwen's room. The scene on the roof shook him more than anything that happened in the last fourteen years.

"What the…" he couldn't even speak, let alone understand what was he looking at.

Gwen was standing on the roof, holding something in her hand. She was wrapped in dark red robes, looking like a witch from Muggle stories. But what was standing behind her was what occupied Sirius attention.

"Surprise!" Gwen said, and moved herself to let Sirius see his real surprise. It was a motorbike. His motorbike.

"Is that…" he looked at Gwen with his eyes wide open, his both hands in his hair.

"The very same. Hagrid kept it, and I… well, nicked it for the night," Gwen smiled devilishly now.

"What do you…" Sirius was still not sure what to say, or do. He wasn't sure what that meant. He was happy to see his old motorbike, but he knew he can't ride it.

"Doesn't matter now. That's why I have been meeting Severus that day. He helped me a lot, without even knowing what I was doing. You have a few hours, I'd say. So hop on!" She handed him the object in her hand. He only then noticed it was his leather jacket.

"I don't understand," he took the jacket, not really believing what was happening. He looked at Gwen's grin, and realised his face must've been looking so dumb now.

"We'll take cover for you. If someone comes by, Tonks will morph into you. If I'm right, she is now dressed in your awful Gryffindor training set, and Remus helped me with getting it here, and fixing it. I will, if anyone comes, take them in, and do our work. So, hop on and ride away!"

"I can't…"

"Don't lose your time, silly! I saw how sad you were when we were going out, and you stayed here. I know you feel stuck, and I know this past few days have been extremely difficult for you. You need something to ease your mind. So please, take the helmet, put it on that head, and just go!" Gwen nudged him, and smiled widely.

"All right," Sirius didn't need any more convincing, as he put on his jacket. "But under one condition. And, that would be my wish you need to grant me for winning the bet."

"I'm listening," Gwen frowned a bit, looking at him now. The jacket really made him look so cockish, and haughty. She now understood why was he so obsessed with wearing it.

"Come with me," Sirius said softly, and took Gwen's hand. "If I'm alone, I might escape forever!"

"So you need someone to keep an eye on you?" Gwen mocked him, but knew what he was thinking.

"Yes, I always need someone to keep an eye on me. I'm… Mischievous like that."

"Are you serious now?" Gwen agreed, smiling.

"I'm always Sirius, how many times do I have to tell you?"

"Fine!"

"Mischief Managed," he said, tapping the tip of her nose with his finger. "And you take the helmet. Your head is way more precious than mine. Mine is worth only 10000 galleons!"

"No, my hair is way too perfect today," Gwen stuck her tongue out. "And besides, I added some extra enchantments to it."

She tapped the motorbike with her hand, and the music started to play.

"What? How? James and I tried to do that for years!" Sirius was confused, and surprised.

"Don't ask! Tonks helped me with that, and she did a playlist for you," Gwen said, still grinning. "And tie your hair, I don't want to choke!"

Sirius hopped on the motorbike, which now played the best hits of Muggle seventies rock 'n' roll. Gwen adjusted herself behind Sirius, who was tying his hair with a hair band.

"Hold on to me tight!" Sirius said to her, as she hugged him lightly. Her grip strengthened. "Ready, princess?"

Gwen just nodded, and Sirius saw that with the corner of his eye. He turned on the engine, and revved it a few times, screaming from happiness. Just as the bike met the end of the building, it flew into the air, and their trip began. Tonks and Remus watched them from Gwen's room, and Tonks was really gleeful.

"I hate this stupid Gryffindor merch, though! I feel like a traitor! " She protested at Remus, who was laughing hard on a sight of her in Sirius' way oversized clothing.

"I think it suits you right. I mean… The red looks good on you," Remus tried to give her a compliment through his laughter, but all he got was Tonks sticking her tongue at him.

The night above London was starry, and clear. It was cold, but Gwen charmed the bike to prevent them from freezing to death. The music was loud, but when Sirius revved the engine, they could barely hear it. Just as they were flowing over the Thames, in front of the Big Ben, Sirius leaned back, and gave Gwen a brief kiss on the cheek.

"Thank you!" he yelled, to make sure she heard him. She smiled brightly at him, wrapping her arms around him even tighter. She didn't like brooms, and she never felt comfortable while flying. Flying on an enchanted motorbike made no difference, but it felt slightly better.

"You know which star that is?" Gwen said in Sirius' ear, pointing to the Sirius star shining on the night sky.

"No, you tell me," he said sarcastically.

They didn't stop for a second. They flew all across London, and a bit away from it. Sirius would occasionally yell out in excitement, adrenaline pumping through his body. He felt alive. After years of being imprisoned, and feeling miserable, he felt alive. And with Gwen's warmness on his back, and her breath on his neck, he felt overwhelmed. He liked the playlist, too. Tonks really nailed that part. Just as they flew over the Buckingham Palace, Gwen was the one who screamed out of her lungs.

"God save the Queen! Whoaaaa!"

Sirius laughed so hard, he almost lost control over the bike. He hasn't been driving in a while now, and was quite grateful his control charms were still working perfectly.

"Princess is finally loosing up. If I hadn't seen it, I wouldn't believe it," he teased her, and she nudged him a bit in protest.

"There are many things about me you still don't know, Black," she said, grinning.

Sirius scoffed, but didn't really disagree with her. She was still a mystery to him, but she became his favourite mystery. The mystery he craved to find out, but loved not knowing in the same time, if that made any sense. After hours of flying around London, and talking as much as they could, it was time for them to come back. Sirius landed the bike on the roof, and Gwen got off it first.

"Wow! That was amazing!" she said excitedly, jumping on the spot. She didn't like flying that much, but after some time she felt safe, and enjoyed the ride.

"It was, really. Thank you. All of this… Thank you," Sirius said softly.

"No problem, Black!" She winked at him, and tapped the bike with her wand. It became small as a model, and she placed it on Sirius' palm. "You can keep it for a while, but it has to go back to Hagrid, before he figures it's missing!"

"Let's get down, I don't like being here," Sirius said, still not feeling good on the roof. He helped Gwen getting off it, and they were now standing in the hallway.

"I guess Tonks, and Remus are asleep," Gwen said shyly. It was around two in the morning, but she was wrong. Remus, and Tonks were playing a game of wizard chess in the drawing room, listening to Remus' records.

"I guess they are," Sirius said, watching Gwen in awe. He was never more sure about what he felt for her. It wasn't like it was with Marlene. It was more than that. He felt like he finally found a missing piece of a messed up puzzle his life was.

"What?" She asked him, with a shy smile. "You're staring at me!"

"I… Gwen…" Sirius stammered, surprising himself how he wasn't able to produce a single sentence.

"What is it?" she asked, narrowing her head.

"You. I don't… For fuck's sake," Sirius managed to say that, as he took a step towards Gwen, wrapping her waist with his arms, pulling her closer to him, pressing his lips hardly on hers.

He felt instant relief because she immediately kissed him back, cupping his face with her palms. In that second, Sirius' mind was blank. He hadn't thought about the war, the Potters, Voldemort, Harry, Azkaban, Dementors, loss of all his friends… Nothing. Only one thought danced through his mind, and that was the woman he was kissing. Gwen got all the answers she needed in that moment. It was the time for her to admit she's in too deep. She fell in love. Again. But this time it was different. It felt more true than with Felix. She never fell in love with Snape, and this was way over the feeling she had with him. It felt like this was supposed to happen. And with his hands wrapped around her, she felt more like home than any time before. The traveller found her home.

But he stopped. He wanted to see her. He wanted to be sure she feels the same. When he opened his eyes, hers were already watching him. Sirius was hypnotized by the sight in front of him. Her eyes were gleaming, as she felt the adrenaline flowing through her body once more. Both of them were on the point they didn't know what will happen now, and what exactly is happening. She took his breath away with just looking at him, letting out a simple gasp. The side of his index finger stroked her jawline gently, as he leaned in to kiss her again.

His palm was now on the back of her head, pressing her closer to him. Her hands were hanging loosely from his neck, as he deepened the kiss, pinning her to the wall right between the doors of their rooms. He kissed her with more passion now, entering her mouth in a search for her tongue. When he found it, the sensation took over his body. She tasted so sweet, as their tongues danced in both his, and her mouth. Sirius felt like he's falling over the edge of the world, but he didn't mind. It felt right. He took one of her hands, and lead her to his room, not breaking the kiss.

He never kissed a girl in that room before. He never had a girl in his room before, to be more exact. When he let go of her hand, he felt the sudden wave of magic, and figured she charmed his room. Even though Gwen's mind was so occupied with what was happening to her, she remembered to put few charms on the room, hoping not to disturb Tonks and Remus. Sirius pressed Gwen on the door, kissing her hardly, becoming hungrier for her. The sensation became pure lust, and he wanted her more than ever. But, never mind that, he didn't want to start doing anything. Even though she did kiss him like he wanted the same thing, he didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable. But, some things couldn't be hidden, so in seconds he felt his trousers getting tighter, and tighter. She couldn't not notice that, since he was selfishly pressed to her, his hands gliding her body. He managed to untie her hair, and untangle it with his fingers. She completely surrendered herself to him.

Sirius broke the kiss, only to appreciate her jawline, ears and neck with more kisses. She gasped softly at the touch of his lips on her skin. She felt so ecstatic, and overwhelmed. The need he felt for her was as intense as the need she had for him. Her hands flew to his shirt buttons, starting to unbutton it quickly. Her fingers were usually nimble, but now her hands were shaking too much. However, she managed to unbutton most of the buttons, and as she untucked his shirt from his trousers, his hands went from her face to the robe that was fastened around her neck. He unfastened it, and as soon as he did that, he lifted her up. She instinctively wrapped her legs around his middle, feeling his stiffness, and that made her want him even more. Her arms were around his neck, but she lowered her head to kiss his neck fiercely. He moaned softly with pleasure her kisses made him feel.

But he didn't take her directly to his bed. The first place he took her was her dresser. As he pushed her on it, a couple of things fell down. Neither of them cared, as he kissed her neck hungrily. She took him out of both the jacket, and the shirt. He didn't wear any undershirt, so his torso was now completely naked, and her palms roamed on his tattooed skin. She felt his muscles flexing, as he was kissing her, and biting her neck softly. Gwen let out a small moan, as Sirius pressed himself closer to her. His hands glided over her thighs, and under her skirt. It made her tremble, and she buried his nails in his back softly. She felt his gasp on her neck, as he stopped kissing her for a second. His hands found the hem of her blouse, and with one move it was off. All she now had was the black lacy bralette, and he took a moment to gaze at her naked upper body, as she started kissing his neck with same hunger he did hers.

When the sensation became too much, he lifted her up again, now placing her on his desk. He crouched almost immediately, and took off her boots, and her leggings. He noticed her chuckles, as he accidentally tickled her soles. As he straightened himself up, she pulled him into another passionate kiss. His hands now inspected her body without hesitation, leaving goose bumps on her skin. She, however, reached for his belt buckle, and managed to unbuckle it, unbuttoning his trousers. There was no possibility she didn't notice how much he wanted her really. His body tried not to hide it in every way possible, and he didn't even want to. He stepped out of his shoes and trousers, lifting her up again, not breaking the kiss.

She bit his lip, and it drove him even more mad with lust. He placed her on his bed, prompting himself on top of her. Her hands were all over his body, and he was much surprised to have his bum squeezed with her dainty hand. He finally broke the kiss, only to start attacking her neck with them. Her chest. Her still covered breasts. Her abdomen. He kissed her like his life depended on it, hungrily, lustfully, frantically. His beard tickled her, but she didn't laugh. He finally removed her skirt, and all that remained were their underwear. Sirius was back to kissing her swollen lips now, but Gwen decided to take charge. She rolled them over, placing herself on top of him, bringing him in a sitting position with her lips. He followed her without any doubt, and would probably follow her right into death now. He wrapped her arms around her, unclasped her bralette, and throwing it away. The feel of her hardened nipples, and soft breast gave him another wave of sensation, and he couldn't take the temptation anymore. He broke their kiss, only to look at her once again.

She opened her eyes, and now looked straight into his. He pushed a few strains of hair from her face.

"You…" he couldn't say anything. It was the first thing he managed to say since he kissed her for the first time, and his mind was numb. Like he never learned any words in his life.

"Shhh," she kissed him softly now. "I know," she whispered, and pushed him down to fall on his back.

Sirius was now the one whose neck was attacked with kisses. Gwen couldn't even remember the last time she kissed someone that way. The truth was, she never did. Not in this way. She kissed his jaw, Adam's apple, collar bones, and all of the tattoos that covered his torso. He felt like he was going to explode, and after 14 years without this kind of human contact, he was sure he will be long done before they even start having sex. He felt her tongue licking his skin, biting him softly between kisses. When she reached the hem of his boxers, she slowly tugged them down, and for the first time ever, Sirius really hoped he won't be given the pleasure of oral sex. His pulsing erection was almost unbearable, and he couldn't even imagine the satisfaction her mouth could bring him.

"Gwen…" he called her out, and she instantly looked at him. "Don't… Come 'ere."

Sirius voice was husky, but soft. Just as he said the words, she remembered he must've been mad by now. She kissed her way back to him, and as she reached his mouth, he rolled them again. He was now the one gliding his lips over her body. He kissed every part of her upper body, biting her softly. Her moans encouraged him to do more of that. He finally reached her knickers, and noticed those were the same one he already held in his hands. He slowly took them off, still kissing every inch of her body. On his way back, he kissed the inner part of her thighs softly, the warmness of her core tempting him. He noticed her knickers were already quite wet, and decided to see her reaction when his kisses came closer to her most intimate part. She didn't flinch, just curved her body, and moaned softly. His hands found her on the mattress, and their fingers were now intertwined, as he kissed her closer and closer. When he was almost at his destination, she pulled him up.

She was, in fact, already quite close to coming. With all the humping they did while kissing, she was already on the verge of going completely mental. As his head was lined with hers, and their bodies pressed against each other, the only thing she managed to say was his name.

"Sirius," she whispered with a gasp, as he started another lustful kiss. But, he broke the kiss shortly after it started.

"I… You know, haven't really… So maybe…" he wanted to excuse himself for something he knew will happen the moment he enters her.

"You're funny," she grinned. "Last time I checked, we had the whole night. So…"

He didn't even let her finish the sentence. He pressed another kiss, devouring her mouth with his tongue, as he slowly slid into her. A loud moan left her lips as she felt his whole length in herself, between the kisses he gave her. With a few slow thrusts he was done, and he felt embarrassed, so he stopped.

"If you stop now, I swear to God, Sirius, I'll hex your bollocks off," Gwen panted, and Sirius felt relieved at once, trembling from the orgasm he just had.

He was still stiff, so he managed to continue with the slow thrusts. Her hands flew to her sides, as she grasped the sheets beneath them. His hands found her, as they became one. After a couple of sloppy kisses between mostly Gwen's loud moans, and Sirius harsh pants, she rolled them over. She was straddling his hips, and she managed to do so without him slipping out. She got him straightened with her kisses, as their hips began moving synchronized. One of his hands were tangled in her hair, and the other one was roaming her back. Her nails must've left some marks on his skin, but he didn't care. He liked them, and the thought of having her sex bruises, made him thrust into her even harder. Her back arched, as she leaned back.

"Oh… Sirius," she moaned softly, but still loud. He wasn't capable of saying anything. He just watched her curved body, and couldn't really think about anything else than having her. Shagging her. But this was much more than just basic human need, or instinct. He felt different than he ever did. The mystery was unravelled now, she was never so clear to him. She wasn't a mystery anymore. She felt different too, but they both prescribed it to the months of subtle flirting, and lust that grew with each day. She got back to her earlier position, and dug her nails into his back. She was close, and he felt it. Her muscles were pulsing, as much as did his.

"Ready?" he asked her with a smirk.

"Oh, Sirius," she moaned with extremely high-pitch in her voice. In a matter of seconds, they both came hard. They finished the act with another kiss, both of them covered in a variety of body fluids. She laid next to him, and took a deep breath.

"Fucking highway to hell, stairway to heaven, and the most noble house of Black," Sirius managed to say, and Gwen burst into laughter, waving her hand. The pack of cigarettes flew in their direction. She offered him one, and he took it. She lit them both with her hand, as she placed herself in the crook of his arm. "One hundred million… Billion… Trillion… Bazillion points to Ravenclaw!" Sirius said, blowing away the smoke

"Don't know about highway to hell, stairway to heaven, but one Black… Wow," she said, still laughing. She summoned him two glasses of water, and he gulped it immediately. Gwen stood up abruptly. "And I don't think they give out house points for shagging!"

"Where are you going?" Sirius asked her, wrapped in his sheets.

"I…" Gwen wasn't sure what this meant, and if he wanted her in his bed to stay the night. She was just hoping Remus and Tonks didn't figure what happened before she got this clear with Sirius.

"Come back 'ere," he ordered her with a strict voice, and Gwen obeyed. "You'll be happy if you ever leave this bed, again, Gwendolyn Doherty."

"Oh, really? I was hoping we'll be going on another ride," Gwen said, thinking about the motorbike which was now resting on his dresser.

"Well, you can ride me anytime you want," Sirius said grinning. His eyes sparkled so much it almost had colour. They were grey, but sometimes they had more blue, or green pigment in them. Now they were greener than before.

"I was talking about the motorbike, but sure, I liked that ride, too," Gwen said, snuggling next to him. He wrapped her in his arms again, giving her a brief kiss.

"Don't go. Stay with me," he said softly.

"I won't," she said, kissing him again, but now with more feeling, still full of lust.

"You're restless," Sirius commented.

"And you mind?" Gwen mocked them

"No, not at all," he said with a smirk, rolling on her again.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the longest piece of writing I ever did. College included.
> 
> Next chapter is all focused on Remadora, so stay tuned :3
> 
> Don't forget to let me know what you think! xx


	20. Dream on

_7_ _th_ _of November 1995_

Remus was sitting on the floor of Grimmauld's cellar, lost in his thoughts. Another night of the full moon. He was surprised when Sirius made a statement that he'll not accompany him tonight, and that he rather prefers to sleep in a bed. It made Remus suspicious, but he decided not to ask. In fact, last few days have been odd, at best. He and Tonks went on a stakeout, and were quite shocked when both Gwen and Sirius waited for them with breakfast. Sirius was too giddy, nothing like his usual morning self. And Gwen put Tonks on the prophecy guard duty for the evening, which she never did before.

The time he spent with Tonks was etched into his memory possibly forever. On the last stakeout, just yesterday, she again snuggled next to him, shivering. He, as a true and real gentleman, couldn't let her freeze so he hugged her, wrapping her in his robes again. The only thing that worried Remus' mind was if she saw the smile that rested on his face, because if she did, she probably thought he's some creepy older bloke, smiling awkwardly while holding a woman. Or she would notice something is different, and she would get as far away as she could from him. Of course, he didn't notice Tonks' rosy cheeks, and how she chewed her lip nervously. He didn't notice her small shivers when he moved. Not out of cold, but out of his presence.

Aware of the turmoil happening in both his head, and heart, Remus thought he can, and will control his feeling better. He managed to control his actions, so he still didn't lose his mind completely, and do something stupid, like kissing Tonks. But feelings can't be controlled. With every second he spent in her presence, he felt more addicted to her fruity scent, and her soft laughter. He didn't get his daily dose of those today, and that made him even more tense. However, he still liked better if she didn't see him on the day before the full moon. Even though Gwen's potions did wonders to his mind, and body, the effects were still visible. He was more pale, his scars more clear, his eyes bloodshot, his hands shaky, his mind away. Those were things that couldn't be mended with potions. The changes were visible, but a lot less than before, without Gwen's help.

Remus sighed loudly, crouched on the floor, tucking his head almost between his knees. Why did he let himself get into this situation? He depended on Sirius for food and roof above his head, Gwen for her potions, and Tonks for giving him a reason to wake up. In his mind, the idea of him being so hopelessly in love was silly, but when he found himself thinking about her right after waking up, he admitted to himself he's doomed. It never occurred to him, not counting his dreams, that she could return the tender feelings he had for her. She was perfect, and he wasn't even passable. He sighed again, thinking about all the blokes trying to get her, trying to get close to her. The smirk on his face was something he couldn't prevent. Because with Tonks being Tonks, he knew that not a lot of guys could snuggle with her the way he does.

In Remus' head, the snuggles were friendly. He didn't want to do anything that would cross the line of friendship, and his good manners. The lady was cold, and she needed to be protected, so of course he would do everything he could to help her. In his head, he was unworthy of anyone, and love in general, and especially unworthy of having someone so brilliant, beautiful, and unique as Tonks. The position he was in right now reminded him of a painful truth, that only one thing is certain; once a month he becomes a feared monster. Sure, she stated she considers him normal, but how could she? How could she ever love a monster? She is pure-hearted, but she's not an idiot.

Another loud breath escaped his lungs, as he pressed his back to the cold, stone wall. The cage he was in felt like a proper choice of place to be. He needs, and deserves to be in a cage. Like an animal he was. The truth was, Remus knew how to build an invisible cage for himself even before he ever stepped into a real one. Sirius was in a real life prison, but Remus felt like he was in one too. The prison of his mind, and his being. He wasn't suicidal, and he didn't hate his life. He enjoyed it on several occasions. The burden of his lycanthropy was bringing him down, but not ever on the lowest point. Remus always found the reason to go on. Mostly because of all of his friends who died during the first war. He still had a chance to breathe and be, so he tried to make something out of it.

And now, his reason to wake up was Tonks. The thought of seeing her, made him literally jump from the bed, taking the extra time on making himself presentable. Sirius being Sirius, left him some expensive, branded cologne on the dresser. It was a subtle sense, not a strong one. The smell reminded Remus of the shores near his cottage, and pine woods. Freshness. But also freedom. Something he never truly felt, because he was never really free. The wolf was always here, lurking in his mind, sending the most critical comments, and the darkest thoughts in his mind. But, when Tonks was there, he felt lighter. With her, Remus could talk for hours, and not feel irrelevant, stupid, or boring. She listened to his words, taking them in like a sponge.

Remus liked to listen to Tonks too. She was so exuberant, and energetic when she talked about things that happened to her at work, or when she talked about her school days. Her eyes gleamed with passion, and joy. Remus looked at her in awe every time, thinking about her eyes gleaming because of him. Something he thought impossible, and yet something that happened every time they were together.

All of a sudden, Remus flinched. That's it. It's happening. He quickly stood up on his shaky, insecure legs. He closed his eyes, and saw Tonks in the field. Again. The image of her in that sunflower field started to feel like his safe place. Last time he conjured a patronus to send a message to Kingsley, he thought about Tonks. Running through the fields. He felt his body changing, taking the form of a beast he despised so much. The beast he, in his mind, undeniably was. The pain of his body changing was still numbing him, even after 31 years of monthly transformations. Gwen's potion helped with the consequences, not with the process. Or maybe it did, but he didn't really feel it. His eyes closed again. Tonks. Field. Summer dress. Her smile. All of those things made him feel warmer, and more human. As Remus fell on the ground, on both his hands and feet, he let out a groan, gritting his teeth. Miserable. That's what he was. Turning into a beast, dreaming about the woman he will never have. Pathetic. Even though the Wolfsbane kept him sane, it couldn't remove the wolf from his mind. He closed his eyes again. Tonks. Her soft hair. Her warm eyes. Her hands reaching for him. Her heart-shaped face closer. Smile. Closer to him. And poof! It was over. He opened his eyes, now looking at the paws, not hands. His breathing was still fast, and shallow. But, as a real wolf, he let out a howl, and laid down. He can't think about her now. Not in this form. It was not right. She was too good for him to think about her. Too perfect. And he was, again, miserable.

* * *

Tonks was sitting on the floor of the Department of Mysteries. She took a spot near the door of the Prophecy hall, behind one of the pillars in the corridor. The corridor was empty, black, and cold, and the door of the hall scared her a bit. She blamed that on her former mentor, who told her if that door get open by someone with bad intentions, the hell will break loose. Of course, Tonks was used to Moody's dramatic descriptions, but Dumbledore too acted like that will indeed happen. She was tired, but knew she couldn't sleep here, or even take a small power nap. Once again, Tonks said a quiet thank you to Gwen, who filled her thermos with the delicious coffee, which was strangely chocolate flavoured, and gave her a couple of pastries to munch on. She took a sip of the coffee, and sighed softly.

She wasn't a fan of solo missions. In fact, she didn't like them at all. As a trained Auror, she was adapted to working in pairs, or in a group, and rarely working alone. When she was alone, she felt the anxiety of not seeing something, or letting something happen which she could prevent. And she got used to do her Order missions with Remus, too. They were mostly not signed for prophecy duty, and their stakeout and follow missions had to be done in pairs. It was strange for Tonks to feel like this. She saw Remus just yesterday, but she felt like she really missed him at the given moment. If he was here, they would now joke around, or she could snuggle next to him under the pretense of being cold.

From a moment Tonks decided to dress herself poorly just so she could snuggle up next to Remus, she figured she's in too deep. With every moment they shared, she was falling in love with him even more. But, in Tonks' mind, he would never consider her as anything more than a friend, and a partner in the Order business. He was older, more mature, quiet, shy, really private, much more experienced... Tonks thought that the idea of him liking her back was as crazy as the idea of her taking over the Auror Office right now. Even on a vague thought about Remus, Tonks pouted and sighed louder.

Tonks' rucksack was quite full for the night. Aside from the thermos and food, she brought one of the books from Grimmauld's library with her. If Remus and Gwen do so much reading, maybe she should start reading too. She took one of the poetry books because it seemed like something light to read, and she liked dark red book covers. It was written by an unknown wizard, and that's what made naturally curious Tonks even more curious. She opened the book, and started to read the words in it. She took a sip of her coffee absent-mindedly, and a bit too fast, so the liquid burned her tongue a bit. But she didn't mind. She was used to having her tongue burnt because of her impatience when it came to food.

An hour passed, and Tonks put down the book. It was interesting, and she liked the subtle poetry, but her mind became overwhelmed at once. Tonks thought about everything that happened since she joined the Order, for whom she was now in her position. She reconnected with her cousin, and really wanted to tell her mother the truth about Sirius. She found a friend, since Gwen has proven to be one. She found Remus, who is out of every category she ever had for people. Kingsley too became a friend, not just a colleague. And every Order meeting they had felt like one big family meeting. Even Snape fitted in with his snarky looks, and silent huffs. They were a bunch of outcasts, combined with people you would never suspect to be rebels. Elphias, for example, or Emmeline and Hestia.

What was occupying her mind more than she would ever admit was Remus. Even though they knew each other for some time now, she still was worried and flustered about the impression he had about her. Tonks was convinced that all that Remus did towards her was purely out of his good manners, and friendship. Of course. Even though Tonks admitted to herself that she likes Remus beyond friendship levels, she firstly sorted her feelings under the label of 'crush'. But, as the time passed, and when she was on the Auror missions, she figured she misses him way more than a friend, and just a meaningless crush.

And then the dreams began. She often dreamt about Remus taking her out for a walk in some park, or running on some beach. It was a silly dream, but she liked waking up with a thought of the perfect date with Remus. Sometimes, she would dream about them snuggled under the blanket in front of the fireplace in her flat. When she dreamed about that, she woke up so suddenly that she had to check if Remus is really not there. She liked those dreams too. Even though Remus was never in her flat, just in front of her building, the thought of Remus in there made her nervous, and embarrassed.

Her flat wasn't so unusual, pretty much the flat that was expected from 22 years old rebel girl, as her neighbours called her. She wasn't ashamed of herself, and her things there. But, she was nervous about what would Remus think just because he is so much older, and more proper than her. He may be one of the Marauders, but he still is a perfect gentleman. And she is colourful, clumsy, not-fitting-in metamorphmagus. Completely different than him. Her flat was filled with all sorts of Muggle stuff, so colourful and mostly messy. Remus would definitely think she is unorganized girl, not even a woman. Tonks sighed sadly at the thought of Remus not taking her seriously because of her age.

She didn't mind the age gap between them, really. When she was at Hogwarts, she barely connected with any of her peers, and now most of her friends were older than her. Even Gwen was 5 years older. Falling in love with someone 13 years older than her wasn't so surprising since she mostly did like older men, rather than younger. But, in her mind, Remus would never look at her in any other way than friendly one, and her age was definitely one of the reasons. He, most likely, would rather have someone more like him, and less like her. Tonks considered morphing her face features to look more older, and mature, but since Remus asked her not to morph in front of him, she decided not to.

Tonks still wasn't quite sure why was Remus so frightened, or surprised, with each time he saw her morphing. But, she was feeling so overwhelmed when he asked her not to morph in front of him. Even though he never explained why, she figured it had to do something with his lycanthropy. But, since their misunderstanding, Tonks decided to really listen to Sirius and Gwen, and did her best with giving Remus time, and space. And it was working, since he talked more, and smiled more and more with her. She liked his shy smile so much, and the way his cheeks blushed. She liked his movements, and she found his befuddled behaviour so cute. And his hands. His voice. He really was dreamy.

Above all, she liked listening to his stories while snuggled up by his side. Even though she still had the strongest not-liking feelings towards Imogen, she figured she really doesn't have to be jealous at all. From what Remus told her, he wasn't really fond of Imogen, and that was what mattered. And she was sure he would've never snuggle with Imogen like he did with her. Of course, Tonks enjoyed them in a way she thought Remus would never, not knowing the feeling was indeed mutual, and very intense for both of them. The warmness of his body, his heart beating mostly steady, the sound of his hoarse voice… She loved those snuggles. One day on her job, she caught herself daydreaming about snuggling with Remus in the Grimmauld's library. When Dawlish interrupted her, her cheeks were so red that she couldn't even morph them right.

Tonks sighed again, maybe a bit too loud. She wanted Remus to notice her as a woman, not as a friend, or colleague. That's why she purposely morphed her hair in most noticeable colours she could think of. With bright orange hair, who could possibly not notice her? She took a piece of the pastries Gwen made for her, and chewed slowly. Even though Remus was almost always on her mind like she was an in love teenager, the feeling of worrying took over her. He must've been transformed by now, and even with Gwen's potions it must've been so painful and difficult for him. Tonks suddenly felt the urge to apparate straight to Grimmauld's, and head to the cellar, just to comfort him. By what Gwen and Sirius said, he was alone there which made Tonks a bit mad. Sirius was supposed to keep him company today. And his and Gwen's odd behaviour since his birthday was just too much to think about now. She took out her notebook, and made a note about talking to Remus about that. He must've noticed it too since he lived with them.

Hours passed, and her shift was almost over. Gwen instructed her not to come by in the morning since the prophecy shift was until 5 in the morning, and that was too early even for her. Instead, she invited Tonks to come by later, and Tonks agreed. She read her poetry book, and was now tapping her feet to the rhythm of _Searching With My Eyes Closed_ by Soundgarden. It was almost 5 o'clock, and Tonks counted seconds now. She was so tired, and got sad with all of the thinking about how Remus couldn't possibly like her in a way she likes him. And even more, with the thought of him being alone on this night. When her little, black wristwatch showed it's time to go, she jumped quickly, packed her things, and left the Ministry.

The smell of cold morning air struck Tonks when she got out. She looked at the moon, and flipped it off. _Fuck you full moon, you're the reason he thinks so poorly about himself_ , Tonks thought while walking down the street to reach her flat. She hummed while doing so, thinking about how she will definitely make Remus some comfort food when she wakes up. The day after the full moon, Remus would most likely spend the day in his room, lying in his bed. He did spend the night asleep, but he would still feel so tired, and exhausted. No potion can fix that. But Tonks' comfort food could simply make him feel better. She decided that her choice for the day would be the creamiest, cheesiest pasta, and lava cupcakes filled with delicious chocolate. He will love it, for sure.

When she got home, Tonks instantly threw her boots from her feet, and her travelling robes off. In seconds she was in her underwear, and ready to fall asleep, too tired to take a shower. The last thing she did before falling asleep was putting on some music. And with the thought about Remus, and his transformation, followed by the sound of _Love in Vain_ by the Rolling Stones, Tonks drifted to the dreamland. Where Remus would hold her hand, and smile with her, and kiss her. Where Remus would be hers.

An hour after Tonks' falling asleep, Remus' horror night was over, and he slowly got into his room. He was surprised with not meeting Gwen up, since she was an early bird. He made a mental note to himself to ask Tonks if she knew something about Gwen and Sirius that he missed to notice. After the night spent on the floor, he firstly wanted a shower. It was a quite long one, since the tepid water soothed his swollen joints, and muscles. The potions he took after waking up took away that pain, but Gwen specifically instructed him to drink them after he does some sleeping in human form. And who was he to defy her? In seconds, Remus was curled up in his bed, relaxed on the soft mattress, and fresh sheets. With a wave of his wand, he put on some music. With the sounds of _You Can't Always Get What You Want_ by the Rolling Stones, and with Tonks dancing on the sunflower field in his mind, Remus fell into a peaceful sleep.

* * *

_8_ _th_ _of November 1995_

Tonks woke up at almost noon, and stretched lazily on her bed. It was cold outside, and she wasn't really keen on the idea of getting up. But, she must get up, and make some food for Remus. He must've been still asleep. Gwen mentioned he usually slept for almost 10 hours after the night of the full moon, and that her potions were responsible for that. However, sleeping was one thing Remus Lupin could never get enough, so it was a good thing. Tonks stretched one more time, and got up, heading straight for the bathroom. A quick shower before anything, and morphing her hair into chelsea cut pink and blonde mess. Perfect.

She got down into making food in seconds, dancing to _Down down_ by Status Quo while the macaroni with cheese were in the oven, and while she worked on her cupcake mixture. She got bored with Muggle music, so by the time the cupcakes were in the oven, she blasted the Weird Sisters last album so loud she couldn't even hear her own thoughts. She jumped, and danced around her flat. Since she never really worked out, she grew to consider her dancing in the underwear her morning routine. When the food was done, she packed it carefully, and picked out her outfit. Dark grey, knitted, oversized sweater and a pair of mom jeans. Perfect. It didn't match her hairstyle at all, but that was the very reason she liked it so much.

In a matter of seconds she was entering the old house, which now contained most of her most dearest friends. She heard Gwen giggling in the dining room, so she proceeded to greet her. Of course, Gwen wasn't alone. She was giggling at Sirius jokes, and Sirius was so proud of himself for making her giggle like that.

"Wotcher!" Tonks greeted them brightly.

"Oh, hey Tonksie!" Sirius said cheerfully, obviously in a good mood.

"Hello, Tonks," Gwen smiled at her. "How was your shift?"

"Dreadful," Tonks said, and sighed. "Don't ever put me up for that again. I really don't like being alone in that awful hallway. How was your night?"

In seconds, Tonks noticed Gwen's cheeks becoming pinker with seconds, and Sirius smirking, looking at Gwen.

"We played some cards, and did new schedule for missions," Sirius said without hesitation. From Remus' stories, Tonks learned that Sirius is capable of thinking of a credible lie in a matter of seconds. But his smirk was something he couldn't hide. He was too proud of his mischiefs to hide it, anyway.

"Oh? Can I see it?" Tonks asked, curiously. She watched Gwen getting more nervous, and noticed that she kicked Sirius in the shins under the table.

"It's up in my room," Gwen said, stuttering a bit. "I'll show it to you if you want, just let me get it."

Tonks' eyes narrowed. Gwen was bluffing. She knew why Tonks was here today, and it certainly wasn't about the schedule.

"Sure, but later. I figured you'd be eating by now, and I brought something for Remus. You know, to feel better," Tonks said shyly.

"Right, because he'll feel better because of the food," Sirius smirked again, and Tonks frowned. What was that supposed to mean?

"Excuse me?" Tonks asked.

"Don't listen to him," Gwen gave Sirius a nasty look. "He got up more… What's the word?"

"Charming?" Sirius added with his famous grin.

"Annoying," Gwen said sharply.

"Mhm," Tonks muttered. "I'll leave you two with this intense word game. See you later!"

Tonks left the room, summoning cutlery with her wand. Gwen gave another of her warning looks to Sirius.

"What? I still think we should tell both of them that they like each other," Sirius whispered, frowning.

"No. They should figure it out by themselves. Both of them, and especially Moony, would freak out if they knew," Gwen whispered back, but more aggressively than Sirius.

"If someone told me you like me, I would kiss you almost in the same moment," Sirius smiled now, and leaned to give Gwen a brief kiss.

"Listen, I would love to tell them about us, but I think we should wait a bit more," Gwen muttered.

"And I agree. Besides, sneaking around this house never was more exciting," Sirius grinned. "You don't really think I'm annoying, right?"

"Sometimes, but I think it's cute," Gwen gave Sirius another kiss. "We definitely need to work on our back up stories. And a new schedule," Gwen pierced him with the look again.

"Say no more, my lady," Sirius got up, and took Gwen's hand, leading her to the drawing room.

Tonks took a deep breath before knocking on Remus' door. She was a bit nervous, and impatient. The boxes with the food were now in her hands, and the spoons and forks were on them.

"Come in," the hoarse voice called her. She turned the doorknob slowly, only to see Remus sitting on his bed, half tucked in, reading a book, of course.

"Wotcher!" Tonks greeted him with a wide smile.

"Tonks…" Remus was flustered at once. He was in his undershirt, and felt a bit embarrassed because of the scars that covered his torso, and arms. "This is a nice surprise."

"I figured you would need some comfort food after…" Tonks bit her lip. She was still uncomfortable with talking about his transformations. Not uncomfortable really, she just didn't know how to put it in a normal conversation.

"That's so thoughtful," Remus muttered, but smiled. "I do hope you'll eat with me, though."

Remus patted his bed, calling Tonks to sit, and she felt a bit less embarrassed. She smiled brightly, and sat on his bed.

"I brought you…" Tonks anounced in a comic manner. "The creamiest macaroni and cheese you'll ever eat!"

She pulled out the box out of her rucksack, and handed it to Remus. He smiled softly, taking the box, and opening it.

"Thank you!" Remus exclaimed. "I do love cheese a lot."

"Cheese? Wait until you see the dessert," Tonks smiled at Remus, handing him a fork.

"Thank you," Remus said while taking the fork. He bit his tongue not to say what he wanted to say. That the sweetest dessert would be a kiss from her. No amount of chocolate can be that delicious.

"No problem," Tonks smiled widely, looking Remus straight into his eyes. They started eating the meal instantly.

"This is really, really good! I can't even imagine why would you ever say you're bad at cooking, really," Remus said, taking smaller bites of food than he would usually.

"I told you already, I'm capable only of making comfort food. But I'm glad you like it," she smiled a bit more shy now. Even though this wasn't much of a compliment, she did feel a strange feeling in her guts. Are those the butterflies everyone talks about?

"Right. So, how was your prophecy duty?" Remus asked, trying to change the subject. He was sure she felt embarrassed with his compliments.

"Well, I told Gwen never to put me on one of those again," Tonks sighed, and rolled her eyes. "Booooring! But I brought myself a book to read."

"Which one?"

"The poetry one Gwen read just the other day," Tonks felt her cheeks blushing because she never discussed books with, well, anyone.

"Oh… That's some romantic poetry. Did you like that?" Remus asked without watching Tonks.

"I did because my time went by faster!" Tonks exclaimed, and took another bite. "What about you? How are you?"

"I'm… well, I'm fine, really," Remus sighed, taking a bite. "I know I probably look like hell, but…"

"No, you look good. Quite good, actually," Tonks felt her cheeks blushing instantly. The words had to leave her head, and they had to be spoken, but she wasn't really ready for them either. Remus lifted his look, only to catch her lowering her.

"Well, I still feel a bit sleepy," Remus tried to act cool, but he didn't really know what was he doing. "And I've slept the whole night. With Sirius not there, nothing was waking me up all the time."

"I still don't get what's going on with him. Since he was out of the house for his birthday, he went completely mental," Tonks concluded, and took another bite.

"Hmmm… Now when you mention it, I did realise he's acting odd. Gwen too. They keep doing some things they don't usually do," Remus frowned, and finally took a bite that was the right measure for him.

"Oh… I didn't notice Gwen acting weird. Although, I did expect one of our girl's night," Tonks now frowned too, looking at Remus.

"I don't think that's coincidence, Tonks," Remus said a bit too dramatically.

"Hmm…" Remus put down his fork as they finished the meal entirely.

"Do you reckon something happened between the two of them?" Tonks blurted. "I mean… Something massive that could affect their behaviour like that."

"Well, I thought Sirius would tell me if something did happen, but he hadn't mentioned anything. And if something bad happened, he would surely tell me after some brooding. And he's not brooding at all," Remus said calmly. He was mentally going over everything that happened in the past few days. Sirius was cheerful, carefree, and not at all in a bad mood.

"I didn't think something bad happened necessarily," Tonks sighed. "Just something…"

She didn't even finish the sentence when she jumped on the spot. The thought about Gwen and Sirius popped into her mind. She was thinking about what Gwen said about Sirius, and how she did admit she felt something for him.

"Maybe they got together!" Tonks said overwhelmed, clapping her hands, and looking straight at Remus.

"Oh… You mean like… Oh…" This idea wasn't something Remus hadn't considered before. He was sure Sirius liked Gwen more than a friend, and the change in their relationship would definitely justify their odd behaviour. When Remus looked at Tonks, she just nodded excitedly.

"I bet you haven't even thought about them together in that way," Tonks said proudly.

"You're wrong here. I'm quite sure Sirius fancies Gwen in all the ways possible," Remus said calmly, looking at Tonks' enthusiasm go down. "But, I never thought they would…"

"Maybe they had a one-night stand, and now they don't know what do to so they act like they do," Tonks frowned, and grabbed her rucksack to pull out another box. This one was filled with lava chocolate cupcakes. She opened it, and took one, stretching her arm to feed Remus. Even though she wasn't at all sure in her move, he accepted it, and opened his mouth taking a bite of the cupcake. Melted chocolate started to pour out of the cupcake, and a bit of it smeared on his lips, and in the corners of it.

"Ahh…" he murmured while chewing. "Those are fantastic!"

Tonks looked at him, taking a bite out of the same cupcake. She smiled softly at him. He was so cute with bits of chocolate on his face.

"I don't think Sirius would do something like that, though," Remus said softly. "If he did do something in that category with Gwen, he would at least try to make it last."

"Why do you think so?" Tonks asked curiously, still looking at chocolate on Remus' lips.

"Because Gwen isn't like the other girls he got with, you know? At least before Azkaban… She isn't what you would say his type at all. But, she did wonders with him. I never thought I would see him cooking, for instance," Remus took another cupcake from the box, since Tonks ate almost all of the previous one. She didn't even notice it since she was too distracted with his lips.

"Mhm…" she let a soft noise, leaning to Remus. "Stay still!"

She stretched her arm, and touched his jaw. His skin was soft, but she felt that his temperature must be higher than usual. With most of her fingers placed on his jaw, she wiped the chocolate from his lips using her thumb. Their eyes locked for a second or two, and she noticed Remus going completely breathless. Tonks then decided to play more, so she licked the chocolate off her finger. Even though she wasn't such a flirty person in general, she did notice a small gasp leaving his lips, as he was staring at her lips and tongue licking the chocolate.

"I… Um… Thank you," Remus managed to say, his cheeks burning and turning bright red. Tonks smiled at him.

"So, you think if something did happen that would be a long-run thing?" Tonks asked, trying to make the scene a bit less tense. But now she was sure he did notice her in a way she wanted to; as a woman. Maybe a potential girlfriend? _What the fuck?_ Tonks thought because she would never, ever imagine herself dreaming about someone like Remus. And being his girlfriend? But then again, why wouldn't she? He is one of the most interesting people alive, he is very attractive, he has a way with words, and he is adorably shy.

"Ummm…" Remus tried to gather his thoughts. "I do, yes."

They finished the cupcakes shortly after that. With both of them loving chocolate, that wasn't even questionable. However, Tonks stayed with Remus for another three whole hours. They talked a lot, mostly about random things. Tonks shifted her position in some point of their conversation, and she was sitting next to Remus with her back pressed on the back board of the bed. Remus was shocked with her being so relaxed around him. And it was only a few hours since he was caged up and fully transformed. In normal circumstances, Remus would question every Tonks' word and move, but he didn't. He grew to trust her now, and he let her do whatever she wanted to while they were together. It's not like he could even fight it because he adored and enjoyed every second they spent together.

* * *

_16_ _th_ _of November 1995_

It was another stakeout mission for Remus and Tonks, just like many before. But, this one was slightly different. Gwen announced that this will be the last one in a while. Next missions will be undercover, more stalking than just watching over. Snape got information about some of the Death Eaters, and now they have to be monitored. Remus and Tonks sat on the cushions, like many nights before, sharing a cup of tea. It was colder than before, and Tonks actually did dress what she thought would be appropriate. Still, she was so cold, but didn't really want to admit it. Remus, of course, noticed it but was sure he can't just snuggle her on his own. It would be way too much.

"So, you know Kingsley asked Hestia out? And she said yes," Tonks said, with a soft smile on her face. She considered herself responsible for Kingsley asking Hestia out, since she advised him to do so. Several times. "Took him almost two months since I first mentioned it, but still!"

"Oh… I didn't know Kingsley fancies Hestia," Remus looked genuinely surprised with this information.

"You're kidding me, right? It's so obvious!" Tonks jumped a bit, spilling a bit of her tea on her jeans.

"Well, I guess I'm bad with those things," Remus said, and waved his wand to dry her jeans.

"Maybe someone fancies you, and you just didn't notice it too," Tonks wasn't sure why she said that, but it was already spoken so she couldn't take it back. "Maybe that informant of yours…"

"First, I highly doubt that. And second, I see Sirius already told you about Imogen having a crush while we were at school. However, she didn't know what I am then. I really don't think…"

"Excuse me, I can't catch your grip. What are you, hm?" Tonks looked at Remus now with narrowed eyes, raising her left eyebrow. Remus just looked at her, fascinated by perfect heart-shaped face, and teal blue hair.

"You know what I meant," Remus said quietly, trying to find the words.

"I've told you already, and I will tell you again, you're no different than me," Tonks was determined to prove herself to him. Not because of her feelings, but because she wanted him to finally admit to himself that he is not any less worth than anyone else. In fact, in her opinion, he was worth even more than half of the people she knew. Maybe even all of them. Remus didn't say a word anymore, and Tonks considered that a victory. "So, you think she's over you?"

Remus couldn't suppress his laughter at the sound of that question, so he let out one soft laugh. Tonks didn't think her question is funny, but she smiled with reluctance.

"What's funny?" She asked cautiously when Remus laughter disappeared.

"To be over me, something was supposed to happen, right? And I remembered how Sirius tried to convince her to leave me alone. Once he even said I have a problem… You know… With my thing," Remus only figured what story he was telling right in the middle of it. And a true gentleman doesn't discuss his private parts with a woman of his dreams. At least not in that situation. Just when he finished the sentence, he became so embarrassed that he felt his cheeks and ears burning red. Tonks looked at him without a motion on her face, just blinking for a second or ten. And then she burst into laughter.

"Seriously? A teenage boy being unable to shag? That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. But considering who said it…" Tonks choked with laughter, and Remus couldn't believe how she didn't even have the need to choose the words.

"In my defence, I don't have any problems like that. Not then and not now. But, since I've never been the one to fly over girls at school, Sirius chose to tell that story rather than saying I'm gay," Remus finished the sentence with quiet laughter. Tonks' however, laughed out loud.

"You really did have an interesting time during Hogwarts," she said in conclusion.

"Oh, you have no idea," Remus sighed.

"Well, I've spent a few months with the two of you, and I can say you're quite amusing," Tonks bit her lip. She felt so awkward for no reason. She tried to sound flirty, but the wave of feeling unsuccessful flew over her.

"Yeah, well…" Remus sighed again, "We were impossible back then. We're grown now. At least I am. Sirius is still… Somewhere in the middle."

"Hmm…" Tonks murmured. "You think he's still like he was back then? Like he's stuck?"

"He's not like he was before, for sure. But I think he didn't really learn how to think for himself, you know? He can think, but sometimes not maturely enough. For instance, he hoped Harry would be kicked out of Hogwarts so they could go on adventures. Just think about it, Tonks. What good would that bring? None. But, in Sirius' mind they both would be rebels, fugitives… I mean, they would, but at what cost? Sometimes he acts like we're still at school. I guess he doesn't have a real sense of consequences."

"Want to hear my opinion on that?" Tonks asked cautiously.

"Of course, I've told you already your opinion is always welcome," Remus smiled softly.

"First, I think you're wrong. I think Sirius knows best about the consequences. And now, he's trying to run from all the things that could lead to consequences as severe as the ones that happened before. In his mind, if Harry was with him Harry would be safe. I do agree that's not true because Harry is safest at Hogwarts. But, I can understand his reasoning. I mean, he let James and Lily out of his sight for a second, and the cost was terrible," Tonks took a deep breath, and noticed Remus looking at her with curiosity. His eyes invited her to continue without saying a word. "He's afraid, just like we all should be, that something will happen to Harry. I mean, the Order got together again to protect that boy. We're guarding the prophecies, we're all risking our lives greatly for him, with only one purpose. And he is stuck in that house, away from everything. He feels useless and insecure, so the idea of living with Harry seems like a great idea. Is it? Not, definitely not. So, I think he does know about the consequences, but he still finds the easiest way possible to avoid them the best. And you and I both know that sometimes, the easiest way possible is not the best way. He never learned that. Can't really blame him."

Remus looked at Tonks in awe, absorbing his words about his best friend. His mind agreed with every single one of them. Her mind was something Remus found extremely amusing, interesting, fun, and beautiful at the same time.

"You're really incredibly smart, Tonks," he smiled at her. "And your observation skills are… No wonder Moody decided to train you."

"Thank you," Tonks smiled shyly, biting her lip again. "My mother always told me that I have the cursed need to know everything, touch everything, and notice things nobody else does."

"I couldn't agree more with her," Remus smiled softly at obviously flustered Tonks.

"Can I ask you something?" Tonks tried to change the subject of their conversation. She wasn't really in a mood to talk about Sirius.

"Sure, you can always ask me whatever interests you," Remus spoke like he was mesmerized. And basically, he was. Because the way her voice was passionate about talking her thoughts out loud was so intense he couldn't break himself out of the spell. She was magnetic, pulling his attention on her and her only.

"Why do you find my morphing abilities terrifying?"

"Oh… Hmmm… Not terrifying like it's a bad thing, don't get that wrong. Above all, I'm fascinated with the way you do that. Like it's nothing. And I guess for you it is nothing. But I guess that's jealousy that make me feel terrified," Remus sighed, spilling out the truth like it was nothing.

"What do you mean?" Tonks frowned, not really sure if she understands what Remus was saying.

"Well… For you, morphing is nothing. Like speaking is to me, or reading. Watching you change does remind me of my transformations because in seconds, you do become someone else. Mine, of course, are way more unpleasant, painful, and uglier than yours," Remus sighed. "I guess that's what brings out the jealousy. You can become whatever you want to be with just a blink, not feeling it really."

"You're wrong about something here, though," Tonks said, waiting for Remus to finish the sentence. "I just want to be me, just like you are you. So, you have nothing to be jealous of, really. Just like everyone thought you're a freak, they thought that about me too."

Tonks shrugged, and Remus looked at her speechless. She really was incredibly kind, too. How could she ever compare herself to him? He surely is a freak, a monster, but she is one of a kind. A rare gem among the rocks. Just like her name said, Nymphadora, the gift of the Nymphs.

"You're not a freak," Remus said softly. "You're different. But that's okay because everything about you is unusual. I mean, look at yourself! And your name, no matter how much you hate it, suits you just fine."

"Ugh… You had to bring that up," Tonks scoffed, and shivered as the cold wind blew between them.

"You're cold?" Remus asked because he wasn't cold at all. With the robes he got, and charmed boots, he could easily stay here for the whole night.

"A bit," Tonks admitted, and blew into her cold hands. Remus smiled under his breath, and pulled her closer to him. As she snuggled up next to him, she found his chest the perfect place to lay her head on.

"Better?" Remus asked tentatively. He didn't want her to feel uncomfortable.

"Mhm," Tonks murmured, sniffing Remus' as subtly as she could. His natural scent was so opulent for her. It was already etched to her brain, and only the thought of it made her feel tingly.

"You really do need a fine set of winter clothes. One day they'll find you frozen by the entry of the Ministry," Remus joked, while he stroked her upper arm with his palm.

"No they won't! I wouldn't give them the satisfaction. I would melt like a snowman!" Tonks tried to jump, but Remus' hand held her down. And she didn't even mind that at all. His chest moved with the rhythm of the soft laugh.

"You know, Gwen always speaks rather fondly about you," Remus voice was soft, but hoarse. "And I really do get why."

"Oh?" Tonks said in fake surprise. She wasn't surprised at all because she considered Gwen her best friend by now, even though she still haven't told her what's going on with her and Sirius. Tonks swore to herself in that moment that she'll find out what's going on in the next week. If Gwen won't talk by herself, she'll have to use some unconventional, Muggle methods. Tequila.

"Yes, she always points out how sincere, smart, and logical you are. And funny too," Remus smiled softly, and even though Tonks couldn't see that, she felt it in his voice.

"I am awesome, am I?" Tonks smiled cheerfully.

"However, I do have one thing I want to ask you. It's not anything much, just a favour," Remus' voice was more strict and cautious now.

"What?" Tonks lifted her head from his chest, and looked straight into his eyes.

"Don't morph around me. Not because I feel uncomfortable, but because you'd feel like it too. I can't change myself, no matter how much I want to , and you want to be who you are. So, let's make a deal. Don't morph around me. Be yourself. Whatever you want to be, but don't morph," Remus said in almost one breath, and left Tonks' widening her eyes. No one ever asked her not to morph like that. She greeted his wish with a smile.

"Sure, but the hair stays. I can't stand my natural hair. It's so… blah!" Tonks stated, as her head fell on Remus' chest again.

"Alright, but just for the record, I think pink suits you the best," Remus chuckled a bit. He was even surprised with himself tonight. The way he talked was so smooth, and suave. Like he would usually talk, but that wasn't the case with Tonks. He was always so damn flustered around her, always picking the worst words.

"You do, do you? Well, for your information, I like pink best too," Tonks said, and morphed her hair pink instantly. "Let's pretend that's my natural hair colour then!"

Remus chuckled again, trying not to move.

"Sure," he said softly.

They spent the night mostly talking, just like they always did. Around four in the morning, Tonks fell asleep a bit, and Remus let her sleep. He felt superior, and important with her sleeping in his arms. It was something he never thought he would feel. Like someone does trust him enough to sleep snuggled up next to him, so vulnerable. But Tonks didn't care. She really did act like she doesn't care about his lycanthropy, or whatever flaw he could find for himself. In an alternate universe, he would think that maybe, just maybe, she feels the same for him as he did for her. But that was impossible, and rather crazy to even think about. At least that was what Remus thought.

The sun wasn't quite up, but the night wasn't so dark anymore. It was right past 6 o'clock, and Remus gently woke Tonks up. She was so lost, sleepy, and cute, that he couldn't help but smile at her all the time. He felt creepy and stupid, like some in love idiot, ogling her. Tonks did notice him looking at her, so she kept her look away. She felt the sudden wave of shyness when it came to this kind of situations. Especially with Remus.

They apparated in front of the Headquarters, and Remus opened the door for Tonks to walk in first. The house was warm, and it was obvious Gwen did something to make it so warm. Both of them noticed the smell of toast, eggs and bacon from the kitchen.

"Hungry?" Remus asked, even though he knew the answer.

"Always!" Tonks said with a yawn. "Thank Merlin I'm off today."

"After you," Remus stretched his arm, showing her the way.

"Thank you," Tonks smiled, and made two steps. "Oh, I forgot!"

In a matter of seconds, she was standing so close to Remus that she could almost feel his heart beat. Well, in that moment, she wouldn't feel anything since his heart skipped a beat from her sudden closeness. If he made just another step… But he didn't even finish that thought when Tonks gave him a brief kiss on the cheek, standing on her tiptoes. Again, he felt the warmness in his cheeks instantly.

"What… Why… I don't…" He was so flustered that he couldn't even ask her anything.

"You deserved it from the moment you said 'someone else' and not 'something else' for yourself," Tonks' mouth curved into a smile, but her eyes smiled even more. She was proud of herself in that moment. She turned, and led the way towards the kitchen.

"Oh…" Remus murmured, still surprised by the kiss he just got. He followed Tonks without a word, so lost in his thoughts. He didn't even notice her stopping suddenly at the kitchen's entrance. She pulled him behind the wall when he ran into her.

"Sorry," he said softly.

"Shh, look," Tonks peeked to look at the kitchen, with Remus leaning over her.

The sight in the kitchen was something they didn't really expect. Gwen was making breakfast, which wasn't unusual. But Sirius was with her. He stood behind her, and his arms were perfectly aligned with hers. He was helping her cook. But not in a friendly manner. Because that movement wasn't friendly at all. Gwen smiled widely, as Sirius was leaning over her shoulder. And then he gave her a kiss, a loud one. Both Remus and Tonks got back behind the wall again.

"What was…" Remus was surprised, but he was glad to see his best friend finally admitting his feelings to himself. Sirius finally let himself feel good, and Gwen seemed to enjoy it too.

"I knew it! They're shagging like two rabbits! I'm sure about it now! He shagged her brainless on his birthday!" Tonks was whispering, but her voice was loud.

"Should we…" Remus didn't even know what he wanted to ask, and he was so thankful that Tonks pulled him out of the room by his hand. Her touch was something he would usually consider out of this world. But now, he thought about cooking with Tonks just like Sirius cooked with Gwen.

"Listen, they obviously doesn't want us to know. Normally, I would say we let them tell us themselves. But not today," the devilish spark filled Tonks' eyes.

"I'm afraid I don't follow you here," Remus was confused with Tonks reaction. He would, normally, say the same.

"We'll prank the confession out of them. Or tease! Mock a bit?" Tonks grinned hardly now. The prankster in her woke up instantly. "You in? Will you be my partner in crime?"

"Sure," Remus smiled at her enthusiasm. He can't say no to her. Not when she asks him to do something with her.

"Great, I already have a plan," Tonks voice was now mischievous as well. "But first, we'll pretend we just came in because I'm so damn hungry, and that bacon smells heaven sent."

"Whatever you say, partner in crime," Remus chuckled, letting Tonks lead the way, still holding his hand.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a long time since the last update, and it really wasn't my intention. But life decided otherwise :)
> 
> Things got better now, and I expect to post an update soon!
> 
> Next chapter will be mostly about Tonks' plan, and what happened with Sirius and Gwen, so stay tuned!
> 
> Thank you all for all the asks, messages, and support! I appreciate it more than I could ever tell 3
> 
> xx


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